Aug 21 2009 Does The Dissolving Bikini Really Work?

This is a teaser trailer for a video demonstrating whether or not the dissolving bikini I posted earlier actually works. SPOILER ALERT: It does. Except it's way freaking lame and the whole bikini doesn't actually dissolve, just a couple small bands holding it on. Go HERE to see the full video, which is advertised as SFW but I'm pretty sure I saw a nipple at 0:31. Yep, there it is. Also, there's a NSFW version HERE which has a lot more nipples. Which, I think we can all agree, are what Fridays are all about...
...
...
...
...to the nudey bar! You're driving.

Video: Clint test de oplosbare bikini [clint]

Thanks to Jef, who makes bikinis disappear the old fashioned way: with x-ray vision.

Jul 31 2009 Wear This *snicker*: Bikini Dissolves In Water

Wow, just typing snicker makes me want a Snickers bar. Does it do that to you too? Please circle yes or no and pass this note back to me in between classes. So anyway, a seemingly ordinary bikini that dissolves when it gets wet. That's something.

Sellers in Germany bill the dissolving Get Naked costume as a chance for men to get their own back after a break-up.

But women's rights campaigner Rosmarie Zapfl stormed: "It is an absolute insult to women that this has been invented."

It really is though. Which is exactly why I just bought every last one of them so no woman will have to experience that humiliation. Also, ladies -- pool party at my house! No need to bring anything, I've got a ton of suits *snicker*. Damnit I did it again.

Dissolving Bikini is the Ultimate Revenge Gift [spike]
and
Teeny weeny dissolvable bikini [thesun]

Thanks to Steven, william and slammer, who only wear thong-backed bathing suits because they're cheeky.

Jun 26 2009 Swedish Women Win Right To Tan Topless

In what will probably be the awesomest news I'll hear all day, Swedish women in Malmö have officially won the right to go to public pools with their knockers hanging out. *sniff* I think we're really making progress here.

...some on the council had lobbied for wording which would have required women to keep their nipples covered, but Forsberg explained that attempting to enforce such a rule would have been too complicated.

"We don't define what bathing suits men should wear so it doesn't make much sense to do it for women. And besides, it's not unusual for men to have large breasts that resemble women's breasts," he said.

OH HO, you just had to sneak a manboob burn in there didn't you? I'M WORKING ON THEM, OKAY? And by working on I mean fondling. Oooh la la.

Yay Sweden! Swedish Women Won Rights to Bathe Topless [neatorama]

Thanks to Mags, who was in shock I hadn't already motorboated this story.

Apr 19 2009 Robotic Penguins Attack From Sea AND Sky

Festo, a company that doesn't give two shits whether we all die at the hands of robots, is back on their robotic animal kick, this time with robo-penguins. Yeah, and to make matters worsethe tuxedoed bastards can now attack from both sea AND sky. You only need to watch the first 2:00 of the video to see the penguins, then it goes on to showcase a robotic hand and robotic wall. Yeah, you heard me, a robotic wall. I've heard of some pretty sick things in my day, but that might just take the cake. And speaking of which -- which one of you jerkbags ate the last piece?

If embedded player goes down go HERE to watch the video.

Thanks to Dylan, Azghul and nerdilicious, who all wear robot-penguin coats because they're classy.

Mar 3 2009 Cool!: Albino Dolphin Spotted In The Wild

A pink bottlenose dolphin was spotted swimming in Lake Calcasieu in Louisiana. It is believed to be the only of its kind.

'The mammal is entirely pink from tip to tail and has reddish eyes indicating it's albinism. The skin appears smooth, glossy pink and without flaws. I have spotted it about 40 to 50 times in the time since the original sighting as it has apparently taken up residence with its family in the Calcasieu Ship Channel.

'As time has passed he has grown and sometimes ventures away from its mother to feed and play but always remains in the vicinity of the pod.

'Surprisingly, it does not appear to be drastically affected by the environment or sunlight as might be expected considering its condition, although it tends to remain below the surface a little more than the others in the pod.'

ZOMG, how cute! And by cute I mean pink. I LOVE PINK DOLPHINS! Look, I just drew one and slid it into the cover of my Trapper Keeper. What can I say, I'm sensitive. And also, hungry. Did somebody say sushi? My stomach did! And also, "the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected". Shit, I ate my phone!

Hit the jump for two more of the magical beast.

Continue Reading " Cool!: Albino Dolphin Spotted In The Wild "

Feb 25 2009 Woman Gets Custom Mermaid Tail Prosthetic

A New Zealand woman has had a custom mermaid tail prosthetic made for her by Weta Workshop (special effects studio responsible for Lord Of The Rings, etc.). Nadya Vessey lost both of her legs below the knee as the result of a medical condition when she was young.

Ms Vessey told a little boy: "I'm a little mermaid" when he asked what happened to her legs and the idea stuck.

Weta costumer Lee Williams, who worked on the suit between film projects with seven other staff, told Close Up she "wanted [Nadya] to be beautiful and sexy".

After seeing Ms Vessey test the tail in Kilbirnie pool then frolic in the harbour, Ms Williams was stoked. "It was absolutely amazing. It's beautiful to watch Nadya swim and to see that dream come true and to be a part of that. I feel quite blessed."

Beautiful. That's beautiful, isn't it? You think she can still make love with the tail on? Because if so, I'm interested. And also, in the market for a snorkel.

Continue Reading " Woman Gets Custom Mermaid Tail Prosthetic "

Nov 25 2008 Nanotech Material Never Gets Wet, EVER

Scientists at the University of Zurich have developed a material that never gets wet. Even if you play romantic music and kiss it tenderly.

The fabric is constructed of polyester fibers that are covered in a layer of 40-nanometer-wide silicone nanofilaments. These nanofilaments are spiky and cause water to sit in a sphere above the fabric, a permanent pocket of air protected safely below.

The material even reduces drag in water by 20%! I have no idea what sort of implications that has, but I think it's something to do with waterproof sheets. Because I used to date a girl that would drink Redbull and vodka all night and then, WITHOUT FAIL, piss the bed. God she sucked. So if you want to make fun of her or call her a hosebag, feel free. Her name and address are:

UPDATE: Ha, silly lawyers.

Nanotech Material Never Gets Wet, Even When Wet [gizmodo]

Thanks to Richthegringo, who keeps the ladies like a tropical rainforest. You know, with all sorts of crazy animals and shit.

Oct 15 2008 Virgin Shark Produced Shark Kitten

A female blacktip shark at the Virginia Aquarium & Marione Science Center recently passed away, and, upon necropsy, was discovered to be with shark puppy -- despite no male sharks being present for 8 years!

Virgin birth has been proven in some bony fish, amphibians, reptiles and birds, and has been suspected among sharks in the wild. The scientists who studied the Virginia and Nebraska sharks said the newly formed pups acquired one set of chromosomes when the mother's chromosomes split during egg development, then united anew.

Absent the chromosomes present in the male sperm, the offspring of an asexual conception have reduced genetic diversity and, the scientists said, may be at a disadvantage for surviving in the wild. A pup, for instance, can be more susceptible to congenital disorders and diseases.

Proof positive that when a woman wants to get pregnant -- no matter how often you dunk your balls in hot coffee -- she's gonna do it.

Scientists confirm shark's 'virgin birth' [msnbc]

Thanks to Heather and Abe, who both claim there was a dinosaur in Jurassic park that did the same thing. But they're wrong -- it was me!

Oct 2 2008 UV Ray Bikini Helps Keep You Cancer Free

The SmartSwim UV Intensity Bikini ($99) has little purple beads right between the tits (and other, more boring places) to let you know how intense the UV rays are. Light purple good, dark purple, cancer. I suppose if you don't want to shell out 99 bones you could buy any bikini and add your own beads, but that would be cheating. And cheating, my friends, wins games.

SmartSwim UV Intensity Bikini warns against excessive exposure [dvice]

Oct 2 2008 $4,700 Sink Has Built In Aquarium

Let's face it, fish are awesome. And delicious. Well now you can pee in the sink and watch the scrumptious little buggers swim in circles at the same time. This sink makes a perfect compliment to the aquarium shitter, and all for only $4,700. It's like a dream come true, minus the dream, plus $4,700.

Moody Aquarium Sink makes for moody fish [slipperybrick]

Thanks to Silver Sided, who once ate ten dozen fish sticks in a single sitting.

Sep 19 2008 Get Your Drown On With The Home Swimmer

The $90 Home Swimmer is a tether that prevents you from going anywhere while you swim imaginary laps in your home pool. Alternatively, it makes a great dolphin leash. Mush you stupid Flipper, mush! Oh hell no you didn't just squeak at me.

Home Swimmer: Unleash your inner Michael Phelps [slipperybrick]

Thanks to Silver Sided, who once swam to the depths of the Pacific to have sex with a mermaid, but she had given him a fake address!

Sep 17 2008 Under The Sea: Fish 'N Flush Toilet Aquarium

The Fish 'N Flush is a 2.5 gallon aquarium that replaces your regular ceramic tank. It consists of two pieces: the actual fill tank, and the aquarium, which surrounds the fill tank for the "fish in your toilet" effect. It costs $300 and is great for pocket fishermen and people who can't keep pet fish alive (comes conveniently located atop a fish cemetery). But for the love of God, DO NOT sell one to this kid, that's just asking for it. I want one though. The only problem is you don't get to enjoy the aquarium while you're sitting on the john. Unless...

UPDATE: You ever tried straddling a toilet? I shat on the floor!

Two more pictures and a video of the flushing in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Under The Sea: Fish 'N Flush Toilet Aquarium "

Aug 29 2008 Is This A Swedish Sea Monster?

I dunno, it kind of looks like a rectangle humping a tapeworm.

A group of filmmakers claim to have successfully captured Sweden's legendary Great Lake Sea Monster (Storsjöodjuret), which is said to lurk in the waters of the Storsjön outside Östersund in northern Sweden.

"It clearly shows that it's warm and is made up of cells, otherwise our cameras wouldn't indicate red, so it can be a sea snake or some other kind of sea animal," said a female member of the film crew to Sveriges Television news in Jämtland.

The effort to find the monster has generated a great deal of interest, with the American television network NBC planning to document the hunt.

Boy are they in for a surprise. You see, the Great Lake Sea Monster is actually SPOILER ALERT: my penis. I guess he wasn't joking when he said he was packing the balls and moving to Sweden. Wait, then what's....

UPDATE: An ear of baby corn.

Hit the jump for a video news report in Swedish.

Continue Reading " Is This A Swedish Sea Monster? "

Aug 12 2008 Oh Great, Now There's A LittleDog Too

Remember when Boston Dynamics heralded the robot apocalypse with the creation of the BigDog? Well now the uncaring bastards have made a LittleDog too. You know, one that isn't as big or loud as the original. Why? To kill you easier.

LittleDog is a quadruped robot for research on learning locomotion. Scientists at leading institutions use LittleDog to probe the fundamental relationships among motor learning, dynamic control, perception of the environment, and rough terrain locomotion.

Run for the hills! I imagine a scenario that plays out something like this: A platoon of BigDogs are released into the wild, each with a payload of several LittleDogs. When a human presence is detected in the area, a LittleDog is deployed, where it seeks out said humans and kills them (possibly by self-detonation). This is repeated until I'm the only one alive and living in an underground bunker. At this time, I manage to capture a BigDog, and, in an attempt to create a race of cyborgs to battle my robot overlords, mate with said beast. But in my haste, I fail to realize I've captured a male model! I bang it every day but never produce any cyborgs. Then I die. And that, my friends, is how the human race dies out. Happy ending!

Hit the jump for two more robots of the apocalypse that Boston Dynamics has created, RISE, a climbing bot, and RHex, which can pretty much do anything, including swim.

Continue Reading " Oh Great, Now There's A LittleDog Too "

Jun 25 2008 World's Deepest Pool Lacks A High Dive

The world's deepest swimming pool (108 feet) resides in Brussels, Belgium and serves as "multi-purpose diving instruction, recreational, and film production facility."

The pool itself consists of a submerged structure with flat platforms at various depth levels. The pool has two large flat-bottomed areas at depth levels of 5m (16 ft) and 10m (32 ft), and a large circular pit descending to a depth of 33m (108 ft). It is filled with 2,500,000 liters of non-chlorinated, highly filtered spring water maintained at 30°C (86°F) and contains several simulated underwater caves at the 10m depth level. There are numerous underwater windows that allow outside visitors to look into the pools at various depths.

While that's cool and all, where the hell is the high dive? You can't have a pool that deep and not have a high dive, it's blasphemous. I mean, WTF? Oh well, I'm still gonna sink my girlfriend's body in the deep end.

Hit the jump off for a bunch more pictures.

Continue Reading " World's Deepest Pool Lacks A High Dive "

May 15 2008 Underwater Camera Mask Is A Great Idea

The SeaLife SL321 ECOshot is (allegedly) the world's first underwater camera built into a snorkeling mask. It packs a 5 megapixel camera and is good up to depths of 15 feet. It even has crosshairs in the eye pieces so you can frame up your shot and goes for right around $100.

Sweet. Mine just arrived so I'm gonna head down to the pool and see if I can't score some shots of the college girls swim team in action. I'll post any sweet derrières I manage to capture.

UPDATE: So I was the only one in the pool. Which was weird, I mean there wasn't even a lifeguard around. I guess I missed the sign on my way in, but the pool was supposed to be closed for disinfecting. Which explains the floater in the deep end I snapped a pic of.

UPDATE UPDATE: Just got an email from a concerned reader.

Date: Thu, 15 May 2008 2:30:53
From: allstarseaworthy@snorks.com
Subject: Geekologie Tip - We came up with this shit years ago

AllStar Seaworthy (Snork)

World's First Swimming Mask With Integrated Digital Camera [tfts]

Thanks Andrew, and no, it definitely wasn't a Baby Ruth

Jan 31 2008 Blow Up Mouse Blows Up, Might Pop

If you have absolutely no room to pack a mouse when you're on the go maybe you should consider this here blow up mouse. As you can see it's inflatable. It's called the Jelly Click mouse, but isn't strawberry or grape flavored and tastes like shit on toast. It's also conceptual. You know what it reminds me of? My girlfriend. You know, because she's conceptual. Not really, I actually have one. She's just blow-up like this mouse. And doubles as a pool float. Screw water wings, I'm a big boy now.

The Jelly Click Mouse [newlaunches]