Jun 22 2009 Yikes: Sharks Hunt Like Human Serial Killers

A recent study conducted by a group that I can't believe received funding for the project has determined that great white sharks hunt like human serial killers. Get a load of this freakishness:

The sharks feeding at Seal Island could have just hovered right where the seals congregated if they were random killers-of-opportunity, Hammerschlag said. But they weren't.

The sharks had a distinct M.O.

They were focused. They stalked from a usual base of operations, 100 yards from their victims. It was close enough to see their prey, but not close enough to be seen and scare off their victims. They attacked when the lights were low. They liked their victims young and alone. They tried to attack when no other sharks were around to compete. They learned from previous kills.

And they attacked from below, unseen.

Okay now I'm a little creeped out. And not just because there's a great white peeking through my bedroom wind....ZOMG THERE'S A GREAT WHITE PEEKI *glass shatters* OM NOM NOM NOM HOLY SHIT HE'S EATING MY FOOT! OH GOD HELP -- IT'S UP TO MY KNEE! OH NO, OH NO HE'S GOING FOR MY PENI....oh, choked to death.

Great white sharks hunt just like Hannibal Lecter [yahoonews]

Apr 19 2009 Robotic Penguins Attack From Sea AND Sky

Festo, a company that doesn't give two shits whether we all die at the hands of robots, is back on their robotic animal kick, this time with robo-penguins. Yeah, and to make matters worsethe tuxedoed bastards can now attack from both sea AND sky. You only need to watch the first 2:00 of the video to see the penguins, then it goes on to showcase a robotic hand and robotic wall. Yeah, you heard me, a robotic wall. I've heard of some pretty sick things in my day, but that might just take the cake. And speaking of which -- which one of you jerkbags ate the last piece?

If embedded player goes down go HERE to watch the video.

Thanks to Dylan, Azghul and nerdilicious, who all wear robot-penguin coats because they're classy.

Jan 3 2009 WTF Was That!?!: Deep-Sea Siphonophore

This is a video of a deep-sea (770-meters to be exact) siphonophore doing its thing. What the f*** is a siphonophore?

...an eerily fantastic creature that appears to be a single, large organism, but which is actually a colony of numerous individual jellyfish-like animals that behave and function together as a single entity. The individual units, called zooids, all share the same genetic material and each perform a specialized role within the colony. The best-known siphonophore is the poisonous Portuguese Man o' War.

Mmmm, I can almost taste the wasabi and soy sauce from here.

Siphonophore: Deep-sea superorganism [pinktentacle]

Thanks to Jack, a personal friend who knows I'm a sucker for new sushi.

Oct 2 2008 $4,700 Sink Has Built In Aquarium

Let's face it, fish are awesome. And delicious. Well now you can pee in the sink and watch the scrumptious little buggers swim in circles at the same time. This sink makes a perfect compliment to the aquarium shitter, and all for only $4,700. It's like a dream come true, minus the dream, plus $4,700.

Moody Aquarium Sink makes for moody fish [slipperybrick]

Thanks to Silver Sided, who once ate ten dozen fish sticks in a single sitting.

Sep 17 2008 Under The Sea: Fish 'N Flush Toilet Aquarium

The Fish 'N Flush is a 2.5 gallon aquarium that replaces your regular ceramic tank. It consists of two pieces: the actual fill tank, and the aquarium, which surrounds the fill tank for the "fish in your toilet" effect. It costs $300 and is great for pocket fishermen and people who can't keep pet fish alive (comes conveniently located atop a fish cemetery). But for the love of God, DO NOT sell one to this kid, that's just asking for it. I want one though. The only problem is you don't get to enjoy the aquarium while you're sitting on the john. Unless...

UPDATE: You ever tried straddling a toilet? I shat on the floor!

Two more pictures and a video of the flushing in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Under The Sea: Fish 'N Flush Toilet Aquarium "

Aug 29 2008 Is This A Swedish Sea Monster?

I dunno, it kind of looks like a rectangle humping a tapeworm.

A group of filmmakers claim to have successfully captured Sweden's legendary Great Lake Sea Monster (Storsjöodjuret), which is said to lurk in the waters of the Storsjön outside Östersund in northern Sweden.

"It clearly shows that it's warm and is made up of cells, otherwise our cameras wouldn't indicate red, so it can be a sea snake or some other kind of sea animal," said a female member of the film crew to Sveriges Television news in Jämtland.

The effort to find the monster has generated a great deal of interest, with the American television network NBC planning to document the hunt.

Boy are they in for a surprise. You see, the Great Lake Sea Monster is actually SPOILER ALERT: my penis. I guess he wasn't joking when he said he was packing the balls and moving to Sweden. Wait, then what's....

UPDATE: An ear of baby corn.

Hit the jump for a video news report in Swedish.

Continue Reading " Is This A Swedish Sea Monster? "

Aug 26 2008 Move Over, Robot: Goblin Shark Is Scarier

Goblin sharks look scary as hell and are scary as hell. Sure they're only a couple feet long, but they're uglier than my sister and have tons of sharp little teeth. Watch the video around 0:20 to see how it's mouth comes out of its face Aliens style to munch on dude's arm. Also, a friend told me that's what a woman's vagina looks like.

Japanese Goblin Shark [collegehumor]

Thanks to Libby, who once punched a goblin shark in the mouth because it looked at her funny.