Jul 1 2009 Bacon Boys: Cutest Picture On The Planet?
No, the one on the right is ruining it.
Product Site (actually for fake gift box, indicating THIS might not be real either)
Thanks to Henry, Marley, Biff Tannen, quasievil, mrs. Willy, Herson, Kassie, Klay and whoever else may have sent this: even wrapped in lettuce, you'd still look good.
Apr 13 2009 For When It's Cold: Sleeping Bag Coats
Lippi Selk'bags cost $125-$150 and look like wearable sleeping bags. Because that's what they are -- sleeping bags that you wear. Any of you lovely ladies interested in sharing one with me? Awesome -- I get it on weekends!
Lippi's Selk'bag is made for mobility, comfort and a more recuperative sleep. Designed and tested in the Andes, the Selk'bag was named in honor of the lost Selk'nam natives of Chile who were known for their ferocity and ability to withstand harsh conditions.
In a recent comparison conducted by Consumer Reports, a Selk'bag actually ripped a Snuggie's sleeves off and defecated down its head hole. Which, you're right, would have made a great commercial.
Sleeping-Bag Suit Makes Snuggies Look Even Wussier [asylum]
Thanks to Stephen, who can endure temperatures down to -40 degrees Celsius because he's inside a tauntaun.
Apr 11 2009 Robot Suit Going Into Production For $4,200
Well folks, it's happening. The HAL (Hybrid Assistive Limb) robot suit is going into mass production and will be available in Japan sometime soon for around $4,200.
This is great news for HAL's target market: Its ability to grant its wearer tenfold strength increases during specific actions could change the lives of people with degenerative muscle diseases, or accident victims who would otherwise need long, difficult rehabilitative therapy to regain basic mobility. And with a five-hour battery life, it could be quite practical for day to day use.
Thanks, but no thanks. I don't care if I was just a head, I would never ask a robot for help. But that's just me and my genius brain talking. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would gladly use a HAL suit to better their quality of life. And those people -- those people are the enemy.
Video after the jump, just for the HAL of it.
Continue Reading " Robot Suit Going Into Production For $4,200 "
Feb 9 2009 Ties: Because Your Neck Deserves A Flag
These $25 ties are made out of 100% synthetic materials, feature classic video game scenes, and can be purchased from a tribe of warrior women. Plus, they're absolutely perfect for the tech blogger who wants to pretend he's a businessman. I'll admit it: I love playing dress up. I have three older sisters so I spent much of my youth parading around the house in a dress with makeup caked all over me. Ahh, those were the days. Now I lay around the apartment in my boxers and have to wait for my girlfriend to go to work before I can even put one of her bras on. It's stifling -- and, damnit, she wore my favorite pumps to work today.
Stylish Classic Gaming Ties [ohgizmo]
Jan 21 2009 I'm Tired Of Life Anyway: Wingsuit Madness
MUST WATCH, UNBELIEVABLE ACTION.
Wingsuits: just like being a bird, except no bird is dumb enough to do that shit.
UPDATE: A cardinal just flew into the window. Superbowl omen!?
Thanks to The Jerk, Jim and Phil, who don't need to almost die to have a good time, video games are enough.
Dec 2 2008 Let's Play Dress Up!: Officially Licensed Gears Of War Armor Suits And Assault Rifles
This is an officially licensed Gears of War armor suit and Lancer assault rifle. They're made by Nightmare Armor Studios and probably cost a pretty penny. I couldn't actually find the price for the armor, but the Lancer alone will set you back 950 bones of your enemies. However, if you're poor, you can always make your own suit out of cardboard. Because that's what The Superficial Writer did. And I've gotta admit: the Locust Horde is gonna rape his ass.
Hit the jump for several more of the wickedness.
Nov 4 2008 Own Your Own Apollo Spacesuit (Replica)
You remember when you were a kid and wanted to be an astronaut? Well I still do. And I'm building my own rocketship (screw you NASA -- rules and regulate this!). Originally I was gonna blast the eff off in a pair of gym shorts and novelty t-shirt, but now I'm thinking I might need something a little more....official looking. Enter the replica Apollo 11 spacesuit. Made based on a real Apollo A7L suit, it looks and feels like the real deal -- and all for only $9,500! Which, incidentally, is more than my entire rocketship cost to build. Speaking of which, I'm now accepting applications for one lucky lady (or dude that's really convincing) to join me on my groundbreaking journey to blowing up on the launch pad and dying. Pre-liftoff lunch will be included, no purchase necessary, just send a picture and five bucks to help cover the cold-cuts.
Buy a real Apollo spacesuit and finally live out those childhood dreams [dvice]
e. -- I'll blast off with you any day. And, God willing, we won't explode.
Oct 21 2008 Bacon Tuxedo Looks, Smells Just Like Bacon
I know what you're thinking, "What IS that dapper ass-sockpuppet wearing in the picture?" And that, dear reader, is Uncle Oinker's Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo. The suits comes in four different sizes (from this little piggy to wild hog), cost $100, and have been chemically treated to smell like bacon sizzling in the pan. And give you cancer. Which, I think we all can agree, is a small price to smell delicious.
Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo [newsblaze]
Thanks to Julian, who once owned a chicken suit but couldn't keep the women away from his meat.
Oct 10 2008 The I-Foot: Toyota's New Mobility Suit
I don't really have any more information on this robotic suit except the i-foot is a terrible name, it was made by Toyota, and appears to be the lovechild of a MechWarrior that stuck it to a Tyrannasaurus Rex (wish I could have been there). Oh, and two thumbs up on the choreography, Toyota, I love the theater. Okay, strip clubs.
Toyota Mobility Suit [useloos]
Thanks to Tytus, who, in his quest to build a mobility suit, invented the jetpack.
Aug 20 2008 Bigfoot: "That Totally Wasn't Me"
In a turn of events that shocked no one, Bigfoot left a message for reporters in the woods claiming the recent pictures of a creature in a freezer, are, in fact, not him. The message, spelled out with carefully arranged arm-length turds, read "that totally wasn't me".
Turns out Bigfoot was just a rubber suit. Two researchers on a quest to prove the existence of Bigfoot say that the carcass encased in a block of ice -- handed over to them for an undisclosed sum by two men who claimed to have found it -- was slowly thawed out, and discovered to be a rubber gorilla outfit.
First, the hair sample was burned and "melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair," Kulls said in the posting.The thawing process was sped up and the exposed head was found to be "unusually hollow in one small section." An hour of thawing later and the feet were exposed -- and they were found to be made of rubber.
Well folks, it just goes to show you -- you can't believe every legendary creature is real just because some asshats claim to have one in a freezer. You can't will Bigfoot real, no matter how badly you want to make love to him.
Researchers say bigfoot just a rubber gorilla suit [yahoonews]
Thanks to Dan, SilverSided, Laurel, Brad, The Hashishin, Gingela5, and Melanie for letting me down easy.
May 29 2008 Goofy Suit Is Actually A Musical Instrument
The Pacer Suit is a musical instrument that looks like a goofy spacesuit (because that's what it is) that I would never, ever wear -- not even if I lost a bet (I'd just renege and let them beat me up or cut my fingers off).
The Pacer suit receives electro impulses that appear when muscles are activated (movement), amplifies them and turns them into sound with the help of the sensors attached to muscles. Each impulse is goes through the sensors via amplifiers (boxes on the back) to control panel where we can control volume, type of sound, select rhythm to follow...With this suit it is possible to produce harmonious rhythm and melody by dancing. These sounds can be heard through headphones connected to the control panel (box on the front) or through the speakers connected to the control panel by infrared rays.
That's pretty neat. I bet it sounds awesome too. And by awesome I mean worse than my girlfriend's incessant blathering about how much she hates her coworkers. Speaking of which, she just pulled up. Later folks -- I'm diving out a window and running to the bar.
UPDATE: Greetings from the ICU! We live in a third story apartment.
A couple more pictures of the components after the jump.
Continue Reading " Goofy Suit Is Actually A Musical Instrument "
May 19 2008 HAL (Hybrid Assistive Limb) Suit Gives You Ironman-Like Capabilities. Okay, Not Really
The HAL suit was developed by Cyberdyne (not to be confused with Cyberdyne Systems, the company responsible for manufacturing Terminators). Despite the similar names, the suit is far from having Terminator-like features. Or Ironman for that matter. What is does have are some little blue circles that light up.
When a person attempts to move, nerve signals are sent from the brain to the muscles via motoneuron, moving the musculoskeletal system as a consequence. At this moment, very weak biosignals can be detected on the surface of the skin. HAL catches these signals through a sensor attached on the skin of the wearer. Based on the signals obtained, the power unit is controlled to move the joint unitedly with the wearer's muscle movement, enabling to support the wearer's daily activities.
The system was designed with physical rehabilitation and people with permanent disabilities in mind, but it will also be used for heavy labor at factories, rescue support at disaster sites, and the entertainment field. So it may be comparable to the system Raytheon is developing. But at least this one doesn't look like a heap of scrap metal. It looks like an iPod. And what do we know about iPods? That's right -- they don't work after your wife puts them through the wash. So, logically, neither will this suit.
One more picture of the thing in action after the jump.
May 16 2008 Philisophical Question Of The Day: Can We Use Robotic Suits To Defeat The Robots Of The Apocalypse, Or Will They Turn On Us?
Okay, I posted on the Sarcos Exoskelton Robot Suit back in November, but this week I've been flooded with tips to show it again, so here she blows. Raytheon, impressed with the Sarcos suit, purchased the company, and continues to develop the exoskeleton suit as part of a $10 million Army contract.
The suit can multiply its wearer's strength and endurance as many as 20 times, with relatively little loss of agility, by sensing and almost instantly amplifying every movement the wearer makes.
The suit itself weighs 150 lbs. and the biggest hurdles Raytheon has yet to overcome are the unit's short battery life, incredible cost of production, and clunkiness.
When a soccer ball was thrown at him, he bounced it back off his helmeted head. He repeatedly struck a punching bag and, slowly but surely, he climbed stairs in the suit's clunky aluminum boots, which made him look like a Frankenstein monster. "It feels less agile than it is," Jameson said. "Because of the way the control laws work, it's ever so slightly slower than I am. And because we are so in tune with our bodies' responses, this tiny delay initially made me tense." Now, he's used to it. "I can regain my balance naturally after stumbling -- something I discovered completely by accident." Learning was easy, he said.
"It takes no special training, beyond learning to relax and trust the robot," he said.
Over my dead body. The day you learn to trust robots is the day they turn on you and blast a powerful burning laserbeam straight through your domepiece. I'd rather trust my girlfriend, and she cheats on me like it's her job (which it kind of is, she's a hooker).
So today's philosophical question of the day is this: Can the human race battle robots with robots? Wow, did that just make your head explode? I know, I'm freaking deeper than a well. Suck it, Descartes.
Another video of the suit in action after the jump.
Apr 28 2008 The Urban Security Suit Protects, Looks Good
The Urban Security Suit is the brainchild of Dutch designer Tim Smit. It's a jacket/hoodie made out of neoprene with body molded kevlar added in all the right places. As an added bonus it's got a gas mask pocket and is white with gray accents. No word on if they'll really be made or if Tim is just waving his dong in the wind, but either way, I want one. I already have a gas mask though, so I don't want to pay extra for that. I like the look, I think it makes you look like some sort of modern ninja. And, as someone who was born with a ninjato sword for one arm and a grappling hook (sorry, mom) for the other, I think I'd know. Not only that, but I've since had my eyes replaced with throwing stars. So yeah, I'm pretty much a ninja authority and all around bad-ass mother (literally, I left my kid at Arby's once). Did I mention I've beat every Ninja Gaiden game ever made? Because I have.
Several more pictures of the suit after the jump.
Continue Reading " The Urban Security Suit Protects, Looks Good "
Dec 27 2007 Suit Washes Clean In The Shower, Hot Damn!
The Konaka Shower Clean Suit is a business suit that washes clean in the shower. It then takes two hours to hang dry (no ironing) and it's ready to wear again. The incredible innovation behind the suit comes from Australian Wool Innovation Limited, a group who focuses their efforts on the application of new technology to wool products. The clothing line is dropping in February for both men and women, and suits will go for $260 - $492. Now I hate to divulge the secret behind the suit, but I'll give you a hint as to how it works -- it's a black garbage bag that looks like a suit. There, the cat's out of the bag. I went and did it didn't I? I sure did. I am such a naughty boy. Which kind of explains the lack of presents from Santa this year. Apparently he didn't read my last letter. I swear I'm starting to hate that fat bastard.
Japanese Salarymen Acquire new weapon: The Konaka Shower Clean Suit [dvice]
