Nov 12 2009 You're Doing It Wrong: Super-Rich Idiot Moron Drives $2 Million Bugatti Veyron Into Marsh

MORE: driving , everything's bigger in texas (including a-holes) , expensive , expensive as hell , haha! , luxury , money can't buy road safety , oopsie , playing with yourself? , questionable , sports car , sucker! , texas , vroom vroom , woops , wrong turn

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An unnamed member of the Illuminati recently drove his Bugatti Veyron into a Texas marsh because he's stupid and can't drive.

The man, who refused to give his name, was looking at real estate in Galveston.


About 3 p.m. a low-flying pelican distracted him as he traveled north on Interstate 45 just south of the hurricane levee near Omega Bay.

The man jerked the wheel, dropped his cell phone, and the car's front tire left the frontage road and entered a muddy patch, which foiled his attempt to maneuver away from the lagoon.

The Veyron's powerful engine gurgled like an outboard motor for about 15 minutes before it died.

Low-flying pelican? Really? That's the BEST you could come up with? No, I propose this man was playing a little tickle the moneybags and freaked when he realized he was gonna make a small cash deposit on the leather seats. Watson -- my pipe, please.

$2 million Bugatti crashes into lagoon [galvestondailynews]

Thanks to Demon Spawn, who may or may not have horns and a tail.

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Nov 4 2009 Moron Scores DWI In Breathalyzer Costume

MORE: breathing , costume , drinking , fail , failure at life , halloween , i hope you learned a valuable lesson , idiot moron , illegal , no drinking and driving , stupid , sucker! , wrong , you can't do that , you suck

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18-year old idiot moron James N. P. Miller (because one initial wasn't enough) scored a DWI (you can't even drink legally!) on Halloween while wearing his 'blow here' breathalyzer costume. Not so good lookin', N.P. Can I call you N.P.? You know I'm going to anyways.

According to a police report, 18-year-old James N. P. Miller, of Cincinnati, was seen driving the wrong way out of the entrance to a one-way street at East Park Place in Oxford.


Inside his car, officers allegedly found an open container of Bud Light in the center console.

Officers also found what was left of a case of Bud Light in the passenger side front seat and in the trunk.

The legal limit in Ohio is .08 BAC--Miller tested at .158. He was cited for operating a vehicle while intoxicated (among other violations) and released to his girlfriend.

I actually know a guy that wore the same costume on Halloween and try as I might, I couldn't get a reading. I dunno, dead batteries or something.

Moron In Breathalyzer Costume Busted For Driving Drunk [gizmodo]

Thanks to Chris, who blew even harder than I did.

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