Sep 8 2009 Chinese Farmer Builds Himself A Submarine
Further proof that Chinese farmers can build virtually any mode of transportation with common household ingredients, 34-year old Tao Xiangli went and built himself a fully functional sub. Man the torpedoes!
The Chinese man has built himself his very own sub all on his own, spending two years and 30,000 yuan ($4,385) on the project. It's driven by electric motors and propellers, and even has some extra fixings, including a periscope and a depth control tank.
Tao mainly cruises the beach taking underwater pictures of girls' bikini bottoms, but recently used the sub to attempt mating with a whale. IT TORE HIS ASS UP! I could have warned you Tao, animals that big don't always play nice. *ahem* I'M LOOKING AT YOU, NESSIE!
Hit the jump for a shot of Xao maneuvering his dinghy through a drainage ditch.
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May 18 2009 Not A Plane: Winged Submarine Is Confused
The Super Falcon isn't a bird at all. OR IS IT?!? No, it's not. It's a submarine with wings. The brainchild of British inventor Graham Hawkes, the sub is capable of diving to depths of 1,500 feet, achieving breakneck speeds of up to six knots (~7MPH or some really kinky bondage), and traveling approximately 25 nautical miles on a battery charge.
Mr Hawkes said: 'After twenty years of prototyping, Super Falcon is our most advanced and elegant submersible yet, encompassing all the innovations we made in introducing underwater flight from the surface to the bottom of the ocean.'
'It is advanced enough to go barrel-rolling with dolphins, spy-hopping with whales or searching for sunken galleons,' Mr Hawkes added.
Oh hell yes -- I want to go barrel rolling with dolphins and have sex with the Loch Ness Monster! Nessie -- NESSIE! She's a relative of the dinosaurs you know. RAWR! Or should I say WUWW!? That's RAWR underwater.
Hit the jump for several more shots of all the fun to be had.
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Feb 17 2009 Fail: Two Nuclear Subs Crash Into Each Other
In an unprecedented subbing fail, a British nuclear sub recently crashed into a French one. I've got the feeling somebody swerved out of their lane (read: the Frenchies, they're suckers for red wine).
Officials said the low-speed crash did not damage the vessels' nuclear reactors or missiles or cause radiation to leak. But anti-nuclear groups said it was still a frightening reminder of the risks posed by submarines prowling the oceans powered by radioactive material and bristling with nuclear weapons.
France said that Le Triomphant suffered damage to a sonar dome -- where navigation and detection equipment is stored -- and limped home to its base on L'Ile Longue on France's western tip. HMS Vanguard returned to a submarine base in Scotland with visible dents and scrapes, the BBC reported.
Just as I feared, they're making these stealth subs too stealthy. Next thing you know somebody's going to run into the Lock Ness Monster and kill poor Nessy. And, when it happens (and it will), we will finally know the truth: how delicious is monster BBQ?
British, French nuclear subs collide in Atlantic [yahoonews]
Thanks to Totex, who once caught a nuclear sub trying to sneak up the drain into his bathtub. And to Kyle, who once called Poseidon a bitch and lived to tell about it.
Jun 16 2008 A Lilypad For The Flood-Induced Apocalypse
The Lilypad Floating Ecopolis for Climate Refugees is a giant floating city that people can live on when the world floods because Al Gore was right. It looks weird but I reserved a spot anyways because I'll be damned if I live in a flooded house. Unless fish promised to swim around my legs while I watch TV, in which I'd consider it. Similar in concept to the Freedom Ship, this mammoth floater would likely cater to the rich. The architectures behind the design believe we'll need these things by 2100 because half of the world will have disappeared underwater. Or maybe just a third will be flooded, I forgot what they said. Maybe just my bathtub. The most unbelievable part about the whole thing? That they had the gall to include marine life in the picture! HA -- like they'll be anything alive in the oceans by 2100. I know, pretty depressing. Seriously though, I have to have sex with a mermaid before they're extinct.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures (including one in which they intentionally made a city look like it's burning even though they're just supposed to be the lights from cars and buildings), along with a link to the project page with a bunch more info.
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Feb 15 2008 The Video To Prove It: RinSpeed sQuba Car Is Real, Not Just Concept Art. OMG, OMG!!
Many of you may remember the Rinspeed sQuba car posted a few months ago. It's a zero emission vehicle that runs off a rechargeable lithium-ion battery and can dive underwater. All we had back then were a couple of concept art pics, but now there's a video! Sure it's a ridiculously horrible James Bond parody with a mediocre Bond girl, but it shows the car in action -- underwater! It's definitely worth checking out. It's a 5:00 minute video, but the car doesn't go under until about 2:30, so feel free to skip there. And also, skip to my lou, my darlin'. Or, if that isn't your scene, you can skip out on your next bar tab. And if a bouncer happens to catch you just tell him the Geekologie writer told you to -- then tase that mother!
A long, long, long, long description of the vehicle and company after the jump.
Dec 21 2007 Oh Hell Yes: The Rinspeed sQuba Car
Well I was about to go apeshit on the Rinspeed sQuba car until I read they admitted to it being inspired by James Bond's Lotus in The Spy Who Loved Me. So after I calmed down a bit and drank my weight in cough syrup I passed out in the driveway on the way to the mailbox. When a passing street-sweeper finally woke me I pissed myself and fell back asleep.
Anyways, the sQuba car can drive on land and "at the push of a button will autonomously transform into an amphibious vehicle capable of diving to a depth of about 33 feet." Hell yes, now that is what I'm talking about. Well, that and passing out in the driveway.
An electric motor with powerful torque drives the rear wheels. The propulsion on the water is ensured by two propellers in the stern and two powerful jet drives in the bow propel the vehicle under water while diving. With zero emissions, zero pollution in the seven seas of this world. The light weight body with components made of futuristic Carbon Nano Tubes encloses in a streamlined manner the driver and passenger who are supplied with fresh breathing air by the self-contained on-board system.
While the pictures above are clearly not real, the car does (or will) exist, and is going to be on display at the Geneva Motor Show from March 6th to 16th. So check it out if you get the chance. And by "check it out" I mean "steal it for me". You see, I'm a professional treasure hunter, and this is just the thing I need to cruise the seafloor searching for treasure. It's been far too long since I've spotted any booty. Well, except my roommate's -- he's somewhat of an exhibitionist.
Rinspeed sQuba Diving Concept Car [ohgizmo]
