Sep 8 2009 Chinese Farmer Builds Himself A Submarine
Further proof that Chinese farmers can build virtually any mode of transportation with common household ingredients, 34-year old Tao Xiangli went and built himself a fully functional sub. Man the torpedoes!
The Chinese man has built himself his very own sub all on his own, spending two years and 30,000 yuan ($4,385) on the project. It's driven by electric motors and propellers, and even has some extra fixings, including a periscope and a depth control tank.
Tao mainly cruises the beach taking underwater pictures of girls' bikini bottoms, but recently used the sub to attempt mating with a whale. IT TORE HIS ASS UP! I could have warned you Tao, animals that big don't always play nice. *ahem* I'M LOOKING AT YOU, NESSIE!
Hit the jump for a shot of Xao maneuvering his dinghy through a drainage ditch.
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May 18 2009 Not A Plane: Winged Submarine Is Confused
The Super Falcon isn't a bird at all. OR IS IT?!? No, it's not. It's a submarine with wings. The brainchild of British inventor Graham Hawkes, the sub is capable of diving to depths of 1,500 feet, achieving breakneck speeds of up to six knots (~7MPH or some really kinky bondage), and traveling approximately 25 nautical miles on a battery charge.
Mr Hawkes said: 'After twenty years of prototyping, Super Falcon is our most advanced and elegant submersible yet, encompassing all the innovations we made in introducing underwater flight from the surface to the bottom of the ocean.'
'It is advanced enough to go barrel-rolling with dolphins, spy-hopping with whales or searching for sunken galleons,' Mr Hawkes added.
Oh hell yes -- I want to go barrel rolling with dolphins and have sex with the Loch Ness Monster! Nessie -- NESSIE! She's a relative of the dinosaurs you know. RAWR! Or should I say WUWW!? That's RAWR underwater.
Hit the jump for several more shots of all the fun to be had.
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Apr 22 2009 What The?: Questionable Sub Commercial
I love Quiznos. Or, I should say, I loved Quiznos before I found out their ovens encourage employees to have sex with them. I mean, WTF? This isn't how you sell delicious, oven-baked subs, this is how you....damnit, now I want Quiznos.
Thanks to Jordan and Reiko, who have never gone anywhere near a toaster with their junk exposed. Or so they say.
Feb 27 2009 Aha!: The Secret To Google Street View
You ever wonder how those Google Street cars are covering the world's roads so quickly? Hyperdrive, baby, hyperdrive. CLICK CLICK VROOM VROOM!
Google Maps
Thanks to kulow, who discovered the worm hole searching for directions to Jimmy John's. Subs so fast you'll freak, mmmm.
Feb 17 2009 Fail: Two Nuclear Subs Crash Into Each Other
In an unprecedented subbing fail, a British nuclear sub recently crashed into a French one. I've got the feeling somebody swerved out of their lane (read: the Frenchies, they're suckers for red wine).
Officials said the low-speed crash did not damage the vessels' nuclear reactors or missiles or cause radiation to leak. But anti-nuclear groups said it was still a frightening reminder of the risks posed by submarines prowling the oceans powered by radioactive material and bristling with nuclear weapons.
France said that Le Triomphant suffered damage to a sonar dome -- where navigation and detection equipment is stored -- and limped home to its base on L'Ile Longue on France's western tip. HMS Vanguard returned to a submarine base in Scotland with visible dents and scrapes, the BBC reported.
Just as I feared, they're making these stealth subs too stealthy. Next thing you know somebody's going to run into the Lock Ness Monster and kill poor Nessy. And, when it happens (and it will), we will finally know the truth: how delicious is monster BBQ?
British, French nuclear subs collide in Atlantic [yahoonews]
Thanks to Totex, who once caught a nuclear sub trying to sneak up the drain into his bathtub. And to Kyle, who once called Poseidon a bitch and lived to tell about it.
Jan 3 2008 Hyper-Sub Fathom Is Both Boat And Sub
The Hyper-Sub boat/submarine hybrid was built by a Florida man and his neighbor. It's capable of cruising the sea at 40 knots (~46 MPH), and then dive to depths of 250 feet. It has a 500 mile surface range and currently only exists in prototype form. However the man responsible for the thing has started a company and hopes to get models in production in the not-too-distant future. Which would be sweet, because I've always wanted a boat-sub hybrid. Almost as bad as I've always wanted a time machine-rocketship hybrid. But I actually built one of those last year so I'm good on that. As a matter of fact, I'm actually writing this right now from the moon while I bang Cleopatra. True story, I have the laptop resting on her back.
A bunch more pictures and a video after the jump.
