Nov 10 2009 I'd Demand A Discount: Shoryuken Fail

This is a picture of some poor bastard's Street Fighter tattoo that's supposed to depict the directions for performing Ryu's Shoryuken (Rising Dragon Fist). Only thing is, the correct directions are →↓↘ + P, and not ↓→↘ + P. So yeah, that's a whole lot of black ink gone wrong. Although you've got to admit, even if it were correct, that tattoo would still suck compared to my 'Charge ↓ 2 sec, ↑ + K'. I also have some tribal shit on my arms BECAUSE I AM PART OF A TRIBE. Called Quest. Can I kick it? Yes I can!

Whoops [kotaku]

Thanks to Jimmy, who has the characters for General Tso's and Moo Goo Gai Pan on his upper back.

Jul 9 2009 The Apocalypse Nears: 101 Robot T-Shirts

No, I'M not posting 101 robot t-shirts. That's way too many images for me. That's like, damn near a hundred. I did post some of my favorites after the jump, but you'll have to hit the link to see them all. The nice thing is they're all conveniently linked to the various places you can buy them if you're interested. But you're not, are you? No, because we don't eff with robots, do we? No, we don't. That's like playing with fire. But nothing like playing with fire because fire's actually fun and won't shoot you with a laser. More like making love in prison. Yes, like making love in prison.

Oh, and I almost forgot the greatest part about this tip:

Hi,

I know you've written about t-shirts in the past, and with a name like Geekologie the chances of you not liking robots are pretty slim, so I thought you might be interested to see a post I wrote a couple of weeks ago called '101 Robot T-shirts', which I probably don't need to explain the content of!

If you only knew, Andy, if you only knew. Or read. What can I say, I'm one in a million. The one that's gonna survive.

Hit the jump to see my favorites and then click through to see a whole bunch more (101, literally).

Continue Reading " The Apocalypse Nears: 101 Robot T-Shirts "

Jun 29 2009 Clever: NES Controller Wireless Doorbell

Some guy went and stuffed a wireless doorbell into an old NES controller. That is all. There's a video of it in action after the jump. SPOILER ALERT: it goes ding-dong.

Hit it for the video. MASH THE BUTTON. DO IT. YOU MASH IT GOOD!

Continue Reading " Clever: NES Controller Wireless Doorbell "

Jun 11 2009 Own (A Replica Of) Marty's Hat From BTTF 2!

I've got the feeling it'll look great with a neon pink track suit. Or nothing at all. Which, honestly, is the only way to wear hats. Of course, if you're a BTTF 2 purist you could whip out your shoes, jacket, hoverboard and Delorean and BAM!: dead ringer for Marty McFly.

While actually shipping July 15th, the Marty MacFly 2015 Hat Replica is available for pre-order today for the low, low price of $25.

I thought about buying one but then I realized my Hypercolor shirt stopped working years ago. Also, $25? That's a lap dance and can of beer at the strip club. That's right, can.

Buy the Hat from Back to the Future: Part II [gizmodo]

Thanks pudding, I want to eat you up. I mean, you are a chick, right? Right?

May 6 2009 My God That's Classy: The Redneck Tanktop

This picture, taken at what I assume was a NASCAR race, shows a redneck flaunting the latest in must-have summerwear, a, um, pair of underwear cut out to wear as a tank top. Unfortunately, there's no shot of what it looks like from the front, so we'll just have to use our imaginations. I'm imagining stained.

Ladies And Gentlemen - The Red Neck Tank Top [themovieblog]

Thanks to Dimi, who once wore a tube sock as a headband.

Mar 10 2009 I Told You I'd Make It Up To You -- And I Keep My Promises: The Tokyoflash Hanko

Remember when I told you I'd make up for my lack of Tokyoflash posts lately? BA-DOW! I am a man of my word. And, as a man of his word (when his fingers aren't crossed), here comes Flash's latest: The Hanko.

Sharp black acrylic lenses reminiscent of a Japanese signature stamp give this watch its name and a newly designed stainless steel case with custom curves provide an additional design edge.

One touch of the upper button animates the sub-surface LEDs in a clockwise direction before the time is presented. Hours are shown in the centre circle of the watch, groups of five minutes are shown in the outer circle in the same position as numbers on a clock and single minutes are shown in the areas between.

Peep the diagram above to better understand how to read the time. The Hanko is available with blue, white or multi-colored LEDs and is one of Tokyoflash's most moderately priced time-receptacles, at about $97. So it might be a good model to get your feet wet -- you know, test the waters. Just be careful of the undertow. It caught hold of me and now I've got Tokyoflash watches coming out the wazoo. But -- I had to swallow them first.

Product Site

Feb 27 2009 I Like: Sesame Street Duct Tape Wallets

These are duct tape wallets made to look like Sesame Street characters. As you can see, there's Burt, Ernie, the Count, the homoerotic ticklish one, that crazy cooking eating bitch, and the angry bastard that lives in a homeless dome.

Each have a character on the front, with 6 slots for your cards (each can fit 2 or 3 cards) and a pocket for your money and reciepts. At $13 each plus $3 for shipping, it's not a bad price.

As cool as it would be to whip one of these mama-jamas out on a first date, I always let the lady pay for dinner. And, if she's lucky, I'll take care of dessert. Ice cream cake, baby -- love that shit!

Sesame Street Duct Tape Wallets [wallethacker]

Thanks to Hatch, who was made famous for his role in LOST.

Feb 3 2009 Blinkity Blink Blink: Tokyoflash's Heko

Well folks, Valentine's Day is rapidly approaching, and we all know what that means: sitting home alone, sobbing into the bra you stole from your last girlfriend. Alternatively, going out to the bar with the intention of scoring a lonely lady but getting far too drunk and making out with the touchscreen game. God, has it really been a year? Anyway, Tokyoflash's latest: the Heko. Get one for your girlfriend. Then take it back from her when she doesn't wear it. Ah, love.

Hours are presented on the upper screen. The hours three, six, nine and twelve in the same positions as on a clock face. Hours one and two are in between, a combination of lit LEDs show the hour.

Minutes are presented on the center and lower screens. The lower screen shows zero, fifteen, thirty and forty-five minutes in the same position as on a clock face, the LEDs in between show five minutes each. The central screen presents four single minutes, a combination of lit LEDs show the minutes.

Hekos are available now for $109 and come in blue, white, or multi-colored LEDs. Personally, I like the multi, because I'm funky fresh. Okay, funky ripe. I should shower but I want to build up my natural pheromones to attract the ladies. Ladies? RAWR! Haha, pet panther -- sorry about your face.

Hit the jump for several more shots and a link to the product page.

Continue Reading " Blinkity Blink Blink: Tokyoflash's Heko "

Jan 7 2009 Time Flies!: An Artsy, Steampunkish Watch

Deviantartist sadwonderland went and made a steampunk styled wristwatch. While it doesn't look super steampunky, I still like the style. Hell, I'd wear it if I was a woman. Or, haha, home alone with the door locked and shades pulled tight. I'm not kidding.

This is a fancy steampunk-style wristwatch, fully functioning, with a new battery in it all ready to go!

A pair of angelic wings and decorative clock cogs frame the timepiece, and a charm chain hangs below, carrying a cog and a small victorian heart.

Perfect for costuming or fancy time-travel parties!

I'm digging those wings. And you know what they say -- time flies when you're wearing a steampunk watch! What do you mean they don't say that? Well what do they say? Toy boat ten times fast? Fine! Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boyt, toy boyt, toyboyt, toyboyt, toyboyt, toyboyt! Oh, now everyone in the coffee shop is looking at me funny. F*** you, people, I'm a blogger damnit!

Lestrade Watch [deviantart]

Thanks to KXHone, who doesn't need a winged watch for time to fly, just alcohol.

Dec 16 2008 My Wrist, It's Blinky: Tokyoflash's Latest Flash

What would a week on Geekologie be without another watch from Tokyoflash? A hot day in heaven, that's for sure. Anyway, the Tokyoflash Waku ($130) is the latest from the wily watchateers.

Waku's wrist band, uniquely positioned between the frame and LEDs, is designed like a belt and features rows of punched holes which continue through the frame to expose the bright lights beneath.

Touch Waku's button and a simple animation sparkles before the time is presented in three easy-to-read steps. Hours are shown first, one LED indicates each hour 1-12. Groups of 15 minutes are next, three LEDs indicate 15, 30 and 45 minutes past the hour. Finally single minutes are presented, fourteen LEDs indicating minutes 1-14. Count the LEDs in columns of 5 and reading Waku becomes really easy!

The watch comes in three different bands: brown leather, black croc-effect, and natural fur, and each is available with either single or multi-colored LEDs. That's six different options! And again, no, I don't get paid for posting these. It's called relations, folks, and I have them. Mostly with women, but sometimes (and I'm thinking last year's holiday party here) with Joel from HR dressed up as Santa.

Hit the jump for several more views and a link to the buy site.

Continue Reading " My Wrist, It's Blinky: Tokyoflash's Latest Flash "

Nov 7 2008 Stylin' And Profilin' (And Kicking Myself In The Nuts For Writing That) With A Mario Hoodie

Looking for a sweet new hoodie to rock this fall? How about a Super Mario inspired joint? The MarioFlauge hoodie is currently available for pre-order and will set you back 65 pieces of eight. It's jam packed with enough golden coins, warp pipes, and phallic mountains for even the most discriminating hoodier. And speaking of which: Geekologie hoodies.

Product Page

Thanks to Dan, who agrees to wear this hoody if you dress up like Princess Peach.

Sep 16 2008 Tokyoflash: Telling Time With The Negative

Tokyoflash is back at it, this time with a wicked new design -- The Negative. The appropriately named device tells time using the negative space created by lit LEDs.

Available in polished silver or polished black, Negative's LCD screen is always displaying the time, allowing the wearer to read it with a quick glance. What really brings this design to life is its multi color LED light guide. At the touch of a button, the display can be backlit with one of seven user selectable colors, a feature which is most impressive at night.

The watch can display time both vertically and horizontally, and will set you back about $162. I'm really digging it. The Negative. Speaking of which, guess what -- the test came back and I AM NOT THE FATHER! This can only mean one thing -- my girlfriend is slut positive.

Hit the jump for several more pictures of the awesome.

Continue Reading " Tokyoflash: Telling Time With The Negative "

Apr 30 2008 Umm, Sure: Animal Head Bicycle Seat Covers

These are bicycle seat covers for all you pervs out there with a "sitting on animal heads" fetish. You're my kind of people, high five! Okay, now police, round up anyone who just tried to give me a high five. Whew, now that the freaky deviants are out of here, let's get down to business. These bike seat covers come in goat, bear, and dog varieties and all cost about $15. If you want to get the most bang for your buck though I recommend the dog or goat ones, since they're made of way more material than the bear. I considered one, but I'm holding out for a crocodile. Have you ever sat on a crocodile's head before? Let me tell you -- it's a rush. Like huffing airplane glue, but with more sharp teeth inches from your manhammer.

Product Site

Thanks to Melissa, who doesn't need a bike because she rides a unicorn, for the tip

Feb 22 2008 Knitted Gas Mask Will Keep You Warm But Not Safe From A Chemical Attack

This nonfunctional knitted gas mask was made by skilled craftswoman teriyakimoto for a friend to keep warm on his bike commute to work. It looks good and has more style than a boring "bank robber" style mask. I, however, prefer the real deal. I wear a gas mask I picked up from the military surplus store just in case anybody decides to chemically attack me. I was going to get one for my girlfriend too but I didn't have enough money. No worries though, because like the boyscout motto goes, "she's a whore and doesn't deserve one."

Knit gas-mask hat [boingboing]

Jan 17 2008 Sewer Doormats Add Slum To Your Porch

Feet First doormats are made to look like some of the world's most famous manhole covers. They're 24" round, made out of 100% recycled truck tires, and cost an unknown amount of money. I actually want one, because I'm setting a booby trap for Ninja Turtles. Once I catch one (probably Michelangelo, he's an idiot) I'll torture the bastard until he tells me where Master Splinter is hiding. Once I've located Splinter I'll make him teach me some wicked ninja moves. Then I'll kick my roommate's ass for always stealing my Fudge Rounds.

UPDATE: It appears someone had already thought of the idea, and this company is just knocking them off and expanding the line. Ah, capitalism.

Product Site

thanks to Sebastian, who could kick my roommate's ass for me if he was here, for the tip

Jan 16 2008 Toilet Graphics: White Porcelain Is So Lame

Someone on Etsy is selling these Toilet Graphics for $20 a pop. As you can see they're stickers you slap on the john to add some flair to otherwise plain white porcelain. There are a number of options like SCUBA divers, aquatic life, bikes and scooters, and my personal least favorite -- cowboys. Thankfully when you have the lid up you can't see him. Because one time I tried to pee with a real-life cowboy staring at my six-shooter, and it was a very Brokeback experience to say the least.

Toilet Graphics Add Some Color to Your Latrine [uberreview]

Jan 10 2008 Taser Features MP3 Player, Hooker Styling

Taser, a company that focuses its efforts on developing products that shock people, is releasing a new line of tasers and had them on display at the CES. The Taser C2 features an MP3 player holster that stores 1GB of music, so you can get your groove on while you watch a would-be attacker wriggle in the street. While this may appeal to some, I have a few bones to pick. First of all, if you're listening to music you're going to be a lot more susceptible to attack, seeing how it would be easier to sneak up on you. And secondly, I tried this system and ended up jolting my penis with 50,000 volts when I tried to skip a song.

Introducing the Taser mp3 player [metro]

Thanks to Sebastian, whose story will never end, for the tip

Jan 4 2008 Glasses Make You See Cool, Not Look Cool

Well the Consumer Electronics Show kicks off on Monday in Vegas, so companies are getting ready to showcase their latest and greatest. And one such product is Lumus-Optical's Microdisplay Glasses. "The glasses will boast twin microdisplays and an ultra-thin LOE lens, which can purportedly immerse the wearer by creating the effect of viewing a 60-inch screen from ten feet away." Cool, so the glasses will be available for some hands on action. You know what I hope isn't there and available for some hands on action? That dude in the photo. If he's going to be there I'm returning my press pass and maintaining a three-state safe zone between me and Vegas.

Lumus-Optical's LOE-based glasses get pictured [engadget]

Nov 9 2007 F-1 Car Lawnmower Cuts Grass, Hauls Ass

Kadeg Boucher of France developed this F-1 inspired concept mower. It's a lawnmower that looks like a little F-1 racecar. At first I thought it was remote controlled, which would have been bad-to-the-ass but it's a push mower. It still looks fast though doesn't it? You probably have to run behind it to keep up. It's even got an LCD gauge display on the push-handle. The only thing it's missing? A cup holder. Who the hell mows the lawn without drinking beer? I modded my push mower with two cup holders and I pull a cooler of beer behind me. I can go from 0 to wasted in 1/4 acre.

Two more pics after the jump, including one from behind.

Continue Reading " F-1 Car Lawnmower Cuts Grass, Hauls Ass "

Oct 23 2007 XBox 360 Controller Shoe Is So Very Stupid

Heelys, a company best known for making those f'ing roller shoes that idiot children wear in Wal-Mart, is releasing another stupid product. The Gamer collection features footwear with soles made to resemble video game controllers. And no, they don't freaking work. Making them some of the stupidest shoes ever. Now I'm not saying that the guy who came up with this idea should be taken out and shot, I'm just saying he should be killed in some fashion. I don't care how.

Heelys shoe hates your eyes, loves your Xbox 360 [engadget, thanks to C-Nasty for the tip]