Nov 19 2009
Air Blower iPhone App Really Blows Air (See What I Did There? There's More To Come!)
Looking for the latest and least greatest in iPhone apps? Check out the $1 "Blower" app. It sucks blows sucks and blows is f***ing stupid.
Thanks to the new "Blower" app, iPhone owners will now be able to blow out candles with their handset. Just "switch on your app, turn the iPhone volume to the max and feel the air flowing from the speaker opening."
Unlock the new mind-blowing secret feature on your iPhone. Turn your iPhone into a real Air Blower!
Mind-blowing secret feature my ass. An x-ray camera, now THAT'S a mind-blowing secret feature. Or the ability to make calls to the dead. Phone developers, are you getting all this? Because I'm not buying another phone until I can talk to George Washington and take pictures of Martha's underwear. Just saying.
Hit the jump for a video of the app blowing out candles. WHEE, what a birthday!
Aug 4 2009 Goodbye Cruel World: Snuggies For Dogs
Snuggies for dogs. Or, "Why the Geekologie Writer had a staring match with an oncoming train and lost on purpose." $15 plus $8 shipping gets you a dog Snuggie, a recordable dog tag, and a complete loss of respect for your dog. Just pay additional shipping and you'll get two of each! Act now and I'll even knee you in the genitals -- FREE! And you will like it. YES SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER? You may!
Thanks to David, who loves his dog too much to do this to it. Right, David? RIGHT?!
May 18 2009 Highly Questionable: The Infinite Slinky
The Infinite Slinky may look like a belt sander taped to a tissue box, but I don't think that's what it is (that's exactly what it is). The device was created by Geekologie Reader (and Stupid Inventor) Zachary, who obviously grew up in a one story house. Thanks, Zachary, but I think I speak for all of us when I say Log. Just sayin' -- it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. And wood is good. Especially in the morning. Any lady lumberjacks in the house?
Thanks to Zachary, who keeps it stupid.
Jun 9 2008 Uh-Oh: Robot Achieves Self-Replication
Self-replication is the third sign of an imminent robot takeover according to The Book Of The Robot Apocalypse, a novella I just wrote and which only contains that sentence. Well RepRap is a 3-D printer that is capable of replicating itself. Sort of.
Technophobes needn't run for the hills just yet. The replicating rapid-prototyper, or "RepRap", can only reproduce its plastic parts, not its metal or electronic components. And assembling it is an afternoon's work for a human being, says Adrian Bowyer, the University of Bath mechanical engineer who launched the RepRap project in 2004.
Okay, I didn't read all that but I did catch something about running for the hills, which I'm totally doing after this post. I suggest you come with me or get started on a robot-proof bunker of you own. But under no circumstances should you try banging your vacuum to produce a robot-fighting cyborg. I know it sounds like a solid plan, but trust me, it isn't. And if you're not going to heed my warning and must try anyways, at least listen to this: when you do get stuck (and you will), cut off as much of the hose as you safely can before going to the hospital. A foot of vacuum hose you can hide, but you show up trailing an entire shop-vac between your legs and the hospital staff will suspect something. Like that you're a pervert and your penis is stuck in the vacuum.
Dawn of the self replicating-machine [newscientisttech]
and
The Official RepRap Blog
Thanks to Byard and Eric, who both know that the only good self-replicating robot is a dead self-replicating robot
Jun 5 2008 Self-Stirring Coffee Mug For The Fingerless
Are you a lazy bastard or a shop teacher that's had ten accidents? If so, this self stirring mug may be for you. The mugs are made by Gevalia, a company best known for convincing me to sign up for their coffee of the month club through the use of a well placed late-night infomercial featuring a sexy saleswoman with a sultry voice. Anyway, the $19 mug features a special base that runs on two AAA batteries and promises "to gently stir your beverage at the push of a button". Now call me crazy, but what kind of gentle stir creates a freaking whirlpool in your beverage? That picture looks like a blender set on the highest setting. You'd have hot beverage in your lap quicker than you could say "I'm suing you McDonalds because I'm a stupid asshole and the coffee you served me was hot." Still, I'm buying one. Mostly because, unlike that pussy James Bond, I like my martinis stirred -- and served in 12-ounce mugs. Suck it Bond, you couldn't even spy on your own girlfriend in the shower.
Stir Mug Does All Of The Work For You [ohgizmo]
Jan 18 2008 MacBook Air Manila Envelope Sadly A Reality
Remember the notorious manila envelope used to display the new MacBook Air's incredibly thin dimensions? Well now you can actually buy one. Well, you've always been able to buy manila envelopes, but now you can get a fleece-lined vinyl one made to protect your precious Air. Called the AirMail, it runs $30, is made by two crazy people, and ships out as soon as the new Mac does. Which is pretty soon. But not before I finish this post. There, done. Ha, beat that Apple. You so slow.
Thanks to Lindsey, who is too beautiful to descibe with my limited vocabulary, for the tip
