Jul 22 2009 Extreme Nutjob Skates Down Roller Coaster

German extreme sportster Dirk Auer strapped on a pair of specially designed lollerblades and, with roflcopter hovering overhead (but not really), skated down a roller coaster at a German amusement park. He undoubtedly soiled his speedsuit.

Spending two months planning the outrageous stunt, Mr Auer also designed and made the monster skates, which took him a total of 110 hours' work.

Mr Auer, from Gross-Gerau near Frankfurt, is considered to be the most extreme in-line skater in the world.

He already holds the world record for reaching speeds of 190mph as he was dragged along behind a Porsche GT2.

Travelling at speeds up to 56mph, Auer skated the entire length of the roller coaster - 860 metres (~2820 feet) - in just over a minute.

Nice one, Dirk, but I could have done it in under a minute. BECAUSE I WOULDN'T USE THE BRAKES. Brakes, like crash helmets, are for unprofessionals and children. Did I? I did -- consider the gauntlet thrown! Now, take off those silly skates and fight like a man.

Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the WHEEEEEEEEE!

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Jun 26 2009 Vroom Vroom?: Piaggio's 3-Wheeled Scooter

Two wheels in the front, one in the back -- that's crazy talk! But not for this Piaggio scooter, which looks eerily like the lovechild of my moped and Darth Vader's Segway.

The Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter ($9,000) features a unique three-wheel design, providing a more stable, secure, and easier ride. Features include a 493cc engine, a maximum speed of 89mph, 55-57 mpg gas mileage, a lean angle of 40 degrees, 20% less braking distance than traditional two-wheeled scooters, and aggressive looks that will help you stand out from the Vespa crowd.

I really want one, but I know that it would kill me. Well technically IT wouldn't kill me, it would be hitting the bottom of the canyon.

Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter [uncrate]

Thanks to naas, who once popped a wheelie and crashed into a telephone pole. He limped from the scene.

May 21 2009 Dunlop Sponsored Car Sets Loopty-Loop Record, There's A Loopty-Loop Record?

Dunlop, in a move to prove that their tires won't explode even while upside-down, made a giant loopty-loop and had some tiny car ride through it. Not much more to say, except I could have done two consecutive loops. On fire. While banging a dinosaur. In the backseat.

Loop-the-Loop Dunlop World Record [metro]

Thanks to Andy, who once rode a roller coaster with his hands up the whole time.

May 11 2009 Child Safety First: The Stroller Trike

The Taga Stroller Trike allows you to get some exercise while at the same time getting those pasty leeches of yours out from in front of the television -- and into traffic! HONK HONK, BEEP BEEP!

Taga isn't the first pedal powered vehicle with space to load up the kiddies, it does put add a few new levels of convenience to the way you schlep your offspring around.

For starters, it folds up so you can fit it in the car trunk for trips out of town. Then there's the wide range of attachments, including setups for two kids, covered seats for rainy days, and shopping baskets. You can even adjust the length of the Taga depending on what load you need to carry.

Sure, why not? Unfortunately, the Taga is currently only available in Europe because using your children as a protective shield from oncoming traffic is frowned upon here in the states. Which is exactly why I'm moving back in with my parents. Taco night! Ladies? Just a heads up though: if we mess around we have to do it with my bedroom door open.

Taga stroller/trike is an awesome way to bring the kids along on your trips. [dvice]

Nov 25 2008 Man Crosses Gorge With Jetpack, No Lasers

Eric Scott sped across the 1,500-foot-wide Royal Gorge in southern Colorado at a speed of 75 mph. With a jetpack. It took him 21 seconds and the bastard didn't even have a parachute because he's a stupid idiot. Also, this feat isn't very impressive. Anybody can jetpack over a gorge, but who can skateboard over one? Because one time I ollied over a recycling bin in my driveway. And broke my arm. True story. I have a titanium plate and a bunch of screws in there now. Oh my god -- I'm a freaking robot! Quick, off with the arm! We're running out of time -- just kill me! Softly, with your love. *wink*

Hit the jump for a video of the spectacle, which I found slightly disappointing (and I LOVE jetpacks).

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Aug 18 2008 Man Humps Steel Bench, Almost Loses Junk

I have no idea what some of you tipsters' obsession is with guys getting their junk stuck in things, but it's borderline disturbing (just kidding, it's totally rad). But here goes: Xing, a 41-year old man, was wandering through LanTian park in Hong Kong late one night when he thought to himself, "I should stick my penis in a steel park bench, you know, for the Olympics." And that's what he did. Unfortunately, mid-coitus Xing realized he was stuck and called the police using his cell phone.

When police arrived, Xing was moaning in pain and stuck face down to the bench. They tried several penis-liberating options (including taking blood) before sawing the entire bench off and taking it to the hospital. 4 hours later Xing had his penis back, sans giant metal bench attachment. Good thing too, because doctors said one hour longer and they would have chopped his member off. Oh man, this reminds me of the time I made love to a hole in a tree during a camping trip. Hello woodpecker nest! Seriously, I pee out the side of my penis now.

Hit the jump for two more pictures of Xing and a video news report. Warning: lots of painful moaning. Lots. A lot, a lot. Tons. Never heard so much painful moaning. Also, added another link to a story about a guy that had sex with the umbrella hole of his picnic table so often that his neighbor finally filmed it and called the police. You're welcome.

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Apr 14 2008 MonoTracer Covered Motorcycles For Sale

The MonoTracer looks like a covered motorcycle. And that's pretty much what it is. It features an aerodynamic cockpit that reduces the bike's drag, and seats two (one behind the other). It looks alright. Its 130 horsepower engine gets it going to 60 in 5.7 seconds and maxes out at 155 MPH. Now I know what you're thinking -- the Geekologie writer is a total wanker. And you're right, I am. The MonoTracer will set you back a staggering $82,350 and are available now. I don't need one though. Nope, I need two. That way I have a backup in case I crash the other trying to jump over my neighbor's house during a stunt spectacular. Don't worry though, they have a pool in the backyard for me to land in.

UPDATE: Greetings from the ICU! I guess it's the other neighbors with a pool.

A bunch more pictures of the bike (including some action shots), after the jump.

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