Oct 5 2009 Wow: Plane-Mounted Laser Burning A Truck
This is a short video of Boeing and the Air Force testing a plane-mounted laser's ability to burn the everliving shit out of a stationary object during a flyby. Mission accomplished!
This video shows the effect of the high-energy laser beam from the Boeing Advanced Tactical Laser (ATL), fired at a stationary truck from a US Air Force NC-130H (Hercules) flying over White Sands Missile Range, New Mexico, on August 30, 2009. The ATL is a chemical oxygen iodine laser (COIL), and is a scaled-down version of the megawatt-class high-energy laser in the Boeing YAL-1 Airborne Laser (ABL).
Did that say scaled down? Because this thing was powerful enough to set a truck's hood on fire from who knows how far away. Now imagine the much more powerful megawatt laser pointed at your face. You'll have to wear glasses after that for sure!
Thanks to Zach, who has one of these lasers mounted on his arm to heat frozen burritos. Good lookin', Zach, love those things.
Sep 9 2009 Steel Velcro: Because Plastic Is For Sissies
This new steel velcro can support up to 35 tons of pressure and looks ultra-badass. So badass I want a belt made out of it. Yeah, and a headband. Wait, is this stainless steel? Cause I can't have no rust juice dripping in my eyes!
Developed by German engineers, this new version of Velcro is dubbed Metaklett, and it can support 35 tons at temperatures up to 1472 degrees. It's made from "perforated steel strips 0.2 millimetres thick, one kind bristling with springy steel brushes and the other sporting jagged spikes."
I have no idea what sort of industrial uses they have planned for this shit, but that's not important. What IS important is this: Velco is actually a name brand. The generic term for this type of closure is 'hook-and-loop fastener'. If you already knew that, congratulations. If not, I hope I just wasted some space behind your face! I'm talking about in your brain.
Thank you for being a friendTravel down the road and back again
your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
And if you threw a party,
Invited everyone you knew,
You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend.
Haha, I'm just messing with you now.
Jul 9 2009 Graphene: The Material Of Tomorrow, Today
Science, best known for inventing robots and dooming the earth, is now responsible for a new carbon wonder material called graphene. Nice, science, way to do good for once.
Imagine a carbon sheet that's only one atom thick but is stronger than diamond and conducts electricity 100 times faster than the silicon in computer chips.
"It is the thinnest known material in the universe, and the strongest ever measured," Andre Geim , a physicist at the University of Manchester, England , wrote in the June 19 issue of the journal Science.Like diamond, graphene is pure carbon. It forms a six-sided mesh of atoms that, through an electron microscope, looks like a honeycomb or piece of chicken wire. Despite its strength, it's as flexible as plastic wrap and can be bent, folded or rolled up like a scroll.
Hell yes graphene scrolls! Most practical application EVER. You hear that papyrus? YOU ARE OUTTA HERE! Don't let the Dead Sea hit you on your way out.
New wonder material, one-atom thick, has scientists abuzz [yahoonews]
Thanks to FDSY, who, based on the excitement in his email, popped like 16 boners at the very thought of graphene.
Jun 15 2009 Raytheon Gets Contract For Laser Weapon
Raytheon, a company best known for my brother and I both swearing we saw an airplane land on top of one of their buildings in Huntsville, Alabama, has received a Navy contract to draw up the initial design of a powerful burning 100-kW Fee Electron Laser (which may or may not look like an automotive engine) to be mounted on seagoing vessels. Pew pew? No. PEW PEW!
Once designed, the naval operators could adjust the wavelength of the laser, which wasn't possible with conventional lasers. This helps compensate for the varying humidity associated with ship-borne situations.
The laser beams could be used against missiles, airplanes, or even boats.
I need one of these for my car. Seriously, I'm tired of sitting in traffic. And let me tell you, I don't just road rage, I road man-rage. You ever seen a guy tear off his own steering wheel, jam it down an air-conditioning vent and then sob uncontrollably? If you've ridden with me you have.
Navy/Raytheon working on 100kW weaponized laser: cue the 'pew-pew' sound effects [dvice]
Feb 19 2009 Guy Loses Finger To Neodymium Magnets
What you're looking at there is a dude's fingernail and the remains of a finger that got crushed between two Neodymium magnets. Brutal! Sweet!
Dirk had an accident. It took 1 1/2 hours of surgery to remove the shattered bones and repair the damage. Medically speaking, he crushed his right index finger distal phalange. The magnets had a 50 cm (20 inch) separation when they decided to fly together.
He is lucky that he only lost a finger tip as opposed to his whole hand. The block Neo below is about 4" by 2" by 2" N45 with a pull force of around 700 lbs (320 kg). The disk is about 3" dia. by 2 1/2" thick N45 with a pull force of about 400 lbs (180 kg). That is his fingernail and some of his finger tip caught between the magnets.
Holy hellfire. Hit the jump to see the graphic photos and a link to the whole story. Which amazingly didn't include heavy drinking and/or a bet. Seriously though, Neodymium magnets are not playtoys (unless you got the really small weak ones, in which case, whee!). Remember what they taught you in Boy Scouts: if you can't stand the heat, too many chefs spoil the broth. Life wisdom, folks, I'm full of it.
Hit the jump for graphic pictures of a bloody stump.
Feb 5 2009 The Pocket Shark: Not Mightier Than A Sword, But Could Still Put An Attacker's Eye Out
The Pocket Shark is a $7 pen that doubles as a weapon thanks to its rugged construction.
For starters, it's made from the glass-reinforced plastic, Grivory, the same tough material we use in our NIGHTSHADE SERIES (of knives), and features walls that are 4 times thicker than similar markers. This means it's built for impact and, in a self-defense emergency it can become an efficient Yawara stick for driving off an attacker. Plus, the screw-top cap will stay in place and won't pop off like a regular marker's cap would when you strike a percussion blow, or when obtaining joint locks or submission holds.
ZOMG! One minute I'm thinking, "yes, that marker does looks sturdy", and next thing you know they're talking about "percussion blows" and "submission holds". Well, I guess as long as the cap doesn't come off while I'm braining some poor sap. Hey, Superficial Writer -- come check out this pen trick I just learned!
UPDATE: Jesus, who the hell brings nunchucks to work?
Pocket Shark Isn't Your Average Marker [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Mikey, who may or may not be a pocket pool shark.
Nov 10 2008 Thanks A Lot Big Guy, All I Got Was An Extra Tooth: God Gives Man 260-Horsepower
Allegedly Allah gave Sayyed Muhammad Ahmad Abdallah the power of 260 horses, roughly the equivalent of 30,000 men. He has been married 24 times, fathered 35 children, and can bend coins with his eye socket and rip them with his hands. WTF! He has to have sex with his 4 current wives at least 15 times a day (in total) and can't shake hands with someone without breaking all their fingers. Needless to say, masturbating is completely out of the question.
Thanks to Ian, who God actually gave 330-horsepower -- and leather seats.
Oct 27 2008 Waves Of The Future: Internet, Buckypaper
Call me crazy, but I think this whole internet thing is really gonna take off one day. And, quite possibly, Buckypaper. It may just look like a turd wafer, but it's actually a paper-thin series of (carbon nano)tubes.
Buckypaper is 10 times lighter but potentially 500 times stronger than steel when sheets of it are stacked and pressed together to form a composite. Unlike conventional composite materials, though, it conducts electricity like copper or silicon and disperses heat like steel or brass.Buckypaper is made from tube-shaped carbon molecules 50,000 times thinner than a human hair. Due to its unique properties, it is envisioned as a wondrous new material for light, energy-efficient aircraft and automobiles, more powerful computers, improved TV screens and many other products.
Well damn, I bet ol' Buckminster is on cloud nine right now. Literally -- he died in 1983. But seriously, what good is black paper if you don't have a white pencil?
Future planes, cars may be made of 'buckypaper' [usatoday]
Thanks to The_Don, who invented Buckypaper, rock, scissors, and never loses.
Oct 14 2008 Oops: Possible Mistake On Walmart's Website
This is a screencap from Walmart's Canadian website for Summer's Eve Feminine Spray Ultra - Extra Strength. As you can see, it's applied with a pressure washer. I actually went to the website and the picture was still there, but there wasn't a description of the product. But, FAKE! or not, I think we can all agree that you'd have to be growing psychedelic mushrooms in your vagina to need this shit.
Uh... [baldheretic]
Thanks to Jenny, The Bloggess, who allegedly knows a woman that has to douche with a firehose.
Sep 3 2008 World's Strongest Magnet Being Built
Scientologists at the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Florida are building the world's most powerful magnet. When finished, the fridge rapist "will reach a power of 100 tesla when it's complete, which is a whopping 67 times more powerful than the magnets in a typical MRI." Impressive. So what do you use such a powerful magnet for? "(To) test the properties of newly discovered high-temperature superconductors like iron oxyarsenide, which may improve the performance of MRI machines and high-voltage power lines while lowering their cost." Sure, why not. I have relatives in Florida, so I'm gonna arrange a tour next time I'm down there.
UPDATE: Forgot to take the Prince Albert out first. Looks like an M-80 detonated in my pants.
Aug 22 2008 Vulcanus Casemod Weighs More Than Yours
The Vulcanus casemod was designed by Czech blacksmith Sergej and forged in the depths of hell. The whole freaking thing is made from hammered steel weighs in at over 110 lbs. Impressive, Sergej, but not as impressive as my case. It's a little something I like to call my PB Case. Get it, instead of PC it's PB because I made it out of lead. Oh, hold on. Damnit Jack, what did I tell you about chewing on daddy's computer? That's right, it's delicious. Now let your sister have a bite.
Hit the jump for some closeups that really show the thing off, along with a video that reminds me of a satanic porno I watched in high school.
Continue Reading " Vulcanus Casemod Weighs More Than Yours "
May 2 2008 Coffin Couches: A Little Morbid For My Taste
Looking for a unique couch? Looking for a unique couch made out of a "display model" coffin? If so, check out these Coffin Couches. Each one is constructed from a real dead body receptacle (last year's models) and can hold up to 900 pounds (despite the spindly looking legs). You can buy one off the site, or order a custom setup and each costs around $4,500. Now are you thinking what I'm thinking? Hell yeah, making love on a coffin! Just kidding. Anybody that was actually thinking what I was pretending to think there should really consider getting help. Oh, and you shouldn't be allowed to own a shovel and flashlight, or live within walking distance of a cemetery.
A couple pictures of a Los Angeles Dodgers model after the jump.
Continue Reading " Coffin Couches: A Little Morbid For My Taste "
