Nov 16 2009 Bedtime Stories: Bioshock Told In 3 Minutes

This is a three-minute video of a woman reading the tale of Bioshock to a little kid old-ass man as a bedtime story. And, as a guy who recently played through Bioshock with his older brother (with all the lights on, and never after 7PM), I thought it was pretty good. But don't watch it unless you want the whole story spoiled. Because that's what it does, it spoils. Just like bad parents. YOU'LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!

One Upon a Pixel [gametrailers]

Thanks to Jaker, the Joker's less clown-y brother. No makeup for him!

Jan 15 2009 Star Wars Plot Retold By Girl Who Has Never Seen A Whole Film, Only 'Bits And Pieces'

This is the plot of the original Star Wars trilogy as told by some chick who has never seen them all the way through and has no idea what the f*** is going on. I highly recommend watching it. Joe Nicolosi, the maker of the film, even added some great animations to spice things up a bit. But thankfully, it's still not too spicy -- my o-ring is fragile like a vase.

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) [vimeo]

Thanks to Matt and chris, who recite the dialog from all three movies word for word. Backwards. While juggling. Ewoks.

Aug 5 2008 Presidential Candidates Get Own Comics

Barack Obama and that other presidential candidate whose face looks like a gnarled tree trunk (EDIT: Wrong John -- I was thinking Kerry, this guy is actually McCain) will star in their own comics made by IDW Publishing, a San Diego comic book company.

Don't expect Captain America-versus-Superman hijinks or super-villains threatening the electoral process. Trading sound bites for word balloons, the books purport to tell McCain and Obama's life stories, independently researched and illustrated by a veteran team of writers and artists.

"We're not doing anything that is sensational here," said IDW special projects editor Scott Dunbier, adding that neither campaign was involved in the development of the books. "We're sticking to the facts."

Wow, these are gonna be the boringest comics ever. Sure McCain spent five years as a POW in North Vietnam, but that's about the only riveting detail. At least give the man a cape and anti-aging serum.

NOTE: The Geekologie Writer does not endorse political candidates. Political candidates endorse him!

McCain: The Geekologie Writer is great. He's made me shoot Diet Pepsi Zero out my nose and shit my pants at the same time before. Also, ladies, topless photos are the only way to the man's heart.
Obama: The Geekologie Writer once told me a dirty joke. It was funny. I can't remember exactly how it went, something about a penis walking into a bar. Hilarious.

McCain, Obama to star in their own comic books [msnbc]

Thanks to Emma for being a Wonder Woman.

Jan 10 2008 Man Chronicles Gaming Systems He's Owned

Todd Levin is a man, a man who has written an article about every gaming console he's ever owned. It's a very intimate account.

The joystick’s distinct shape provided me with hours of sophisticated entertainment, especially as I blindly turned the corner of sexual awareness. When Beth Rubenstein came over to “play Atari” in our renovated basement, our gaming would always quickly deteriorate into marathon sessions of hard, closed-mouth kissing—because tongue kissing was disgusting—followed by hilarious hijinks such as me chasing Beth around the weight bench with the joystick tucked between my legs, like Jane Gumb trapped in the world of Tron.

I’m not sure who would have been more disappointed to discover that last fact: my parents, who tried their best not to raise a pervert; or my brother and sister, who had no idea they were playing Activision’s Pitfall with my surrogate boner.

Wow, genius. I never thought of using a 2600 controller for a surrogate boner. I always used a Wiffle Ball bat, because I thought that's what it'd look like when I grew up. Wow, no where close. Should have used one of those cinnamon flavored toothpicks.

No Console For Old Men [boingboing]

Article [themorningnews]