Nov 18 2009 This Wasn't In The Job Description: Microsoft Store Employees Required To Dance

This is a video of the workers in a Microsoft store dancing around and clapping like the bunch of out-of-shape retail employees they are. That said, I would've passed out halfway through the song BUT ONLY CAUSE I'D BEEN DRINKING.

The Blackeyed Peas compel the employees at the Microsoft Store in Mission Viejo, California to break out in dance, let their hair down and have some fun. This is an amazing store, the employees seem really excited and engaged, almost happy to be at work. My favorite parts are when people walking in the mall come inside the store, join in the dancing and have some fun. The amazing thing is that people are in the store for hours, they love interacting with the software and learning about new technology.

Wow, like THAT doesn't sound like the biggest bunch of promotional bullshit I've ever read. People spending hours in a retail store, really? THEY'RE CALLED HOMELESS. The last time I ever spent hours in a retail establishment my mom forgot me at Sears while I was playing in the middle of a clothes rack and they closed the store for the night. And that, my friends, is why I can't sleep without a circular saw.

Youtube

Thanks to Patrick, Mark, babysteps and Mixtech, who, dance! *pew pew* I SAID DANCE!

Oct 29 2009 Wal-Mart: For All Your Funeral Needs

I don't know how long they've been doing this, but Wal-Mart now sells both coffins and urns for all your funeral needs. Currently the website stocks 14 different coffins and 104 different urns. Coffins will set you back between $895 to $2899 and urns from $32 to $243. Now I have no idea how much these things normally cost, but I've got to imagine these are the the most moderately priced receptacles. That said, I'm still stuffing all my relatives in Folgers cans.

Wal-Mart Coffins

Thanks to Chuey The Midget, Blastphemer, Kelly, Josh, Lewis, floor Cheetos and Trick or Trey, who all want to buried at sea in nuclear submarines. Sounds expensive.

Sep 19 2009 Religious Persecution!: Jedi Tossed Out Of Supermarket For Refusing To Remove Hood

Co-founder of the International Church of Jediism, Master Morda Hehol (Daniel Jones, seen above, left), was kicked out of a North Wales supermarket after refusing to remove his super-sweet Jedi hood. He is considering legal action (I would have just Force-choked the assistant manager).

"I told them it was a requirement of my religion but they just sniggered and ordered me to leave. I walked past a Muslim lady in a veil. Surely the same rules should apply to everyone. It was discrimination. I was really upset. Nobody should be treated like that. I'll advise worshippers to boycott Tesco if it happens again. They will feel the Force."

The jedi holocron handbook clearly states that "Jedis must wear a hood up in any public place of a large audience."

A Tesco spokeswoman said:

"Jedi are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all went hoodless without going to the Dark Side. If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they'll miss lots of special offers."

Really? You're gonna miss out on special offers? THAT'S the justification you're gonna use for not allowing patrons to wear hoods? Oh, this just in: Tesco security beats the shit out of a blind man.

Jedi tossed out of supermarket for wearing hood [inquisitr]

Thanks to em. MONSTER and Alexis, who only wear their Jedi hoods in the bedroom. YOW YOW!

Aug 1 2009 You're Doing It Wrong!: Woman Dragging Leashed Child Through A Verizon Store

Melissa Catherine Smith-Means (she is too!), 37, of Gaylesville, Alabama, was arrested for child abuse after dragging her unisex child through a Verizon Wireless store using a kiddy-leash. As punishment, Melissa is going to be leashed and dragged down every aisle of a Best Buy. Just sayin' -- it's Alabama, folks, they do things differently. Like talk and guns. I've lived there, I know.

Woman Drags Child Through Verizon Store [techeblog]

Thanks to trishna87 and gypsyking, who don't drag anything but their feet. Seriously, stop being so lazy you two.

Feb 16 2009 Hooray?: Microsoft Opening Retail Stores

In a power move of questionable questionableness, Microsoft has decided to open actual brick-and-mortar retail stores. Yay? Nay? Yay-nay? Yay-no? Yay-yo?

When Microsoft demoed its retail experience privately last month, reactions were predictably mixed: some thought it made sense, others found themselves sizing it up with the Apple Store. Microsoft has a strong brand to sell, with Windows on desktops, laptops, cells and smartphones, and the Xbox 360 is no slouch, either. Putting it all together in one store, controlling its presentation, and having a physical space to demo products to the public -- such as the Surface or Sync -- seems like a smart move. Though it'll be interesting to see if the company wants to directly compete with stores such as Best Buy and Gamestop, who sell Microsoft products at retail.

I think I speak for all of us when I say I am honestly not excited about this one bit. Unless they give you a free Coke and popcorn when you enter, in which case, okay, but the Coke better come in a bottle.

Microsoft retail experience becomes a retail reality, stores to be announced soon [dvice]

Jan 30 2009 Augmented Reality Coming To LEGO Retailers

We've already seen several examples of augmented reality here on Geekologie. Some sexier than others. And now the technology may be coming to everybody's favorite modular plastic blocks -- LEGO!

LEGO will apparently be rolling out these new 'Digital Box' kiosks to select toyshops around the world that allow you to see a 3D representation of what the LEGO model looks like when fully assembled. The kiosk uses a built-in video camera and custom augmented reality software developed by a German company called Metaio, and because the model exists in 3D, you're able to interactively turn and move it around to see it from all sides.

Sweet! I've always had trouble telling what a LEGO set will look like when it's finished because I usually end up with a belly full few pieces. So this won't help at all. But still, they should use this technology for something more practical -- like microwaveable meals. Am I right? Yes, now hit the jump to see my lunch.

Continue Reading " Augmented Reality Coming To LEGO Retailers "

Oct 1 2008 Apple Threatens To Close iTunes Store

Apple is threatening to close the iTunes store over a possible royalty hike.

The National Music Publishers' Association, which represents the interests of music makers and songwriters in the U.S., wants rates to be increased 9 cents to 15 cents, which represents a 66 percent rise.

"If [iTunes] was forced to absorb any increase in the ... royalty rate, the result would be to significantly increase the likelihood of the store operating at a financial loss -- which is no alternative at all," iTunes vice president Eddy Cue said.

ZOMG, I'm gonna have to start downloading music illegally again.

Apple Threatens to Close iTunes Store Over Royalties [foxnews]

Thanks to Bryan, who once downloaded a song illegally but then felt bad about it and gave a streetcorner musician a dollar.

Apr 11 2008 IKEA Turns Japanese Monorail Into Showroom

IKEA, best known for their sweet coffee table that I bought, has turned the Kobe Portliner Monorail of Port Island, Japan into a traveling showroom. As you can see it looks like someone threw up all over the place. It will remain that way until May 6th, so if you're in the area go check it out. While the bright colors and nutty patterns make me a little queasy, I still think it's a great idea. They should totally pimp out the D.C. Metro like this. That way when the guy sitting behind me pulls his thingy out and starts beating it against the back of my seat I can at least pretend I'm in a furniture store.

A bunch more pictures of the pimped out trains after the jump.

Continue Reading " IKEA Turns Japanese Monorail Into Showroom "

Mar 25 2008 Robot Watches Kids While Parents Shop

This scary little bastard is a robotic babysitter developed by Tmsuk and currently being utilized by a retailer in Fukuoka, Japan. It looks like a cross between a cat, the devil, a shitty digital camera, and a bumper car. The unit packs an integrated projector and can communicate with annoying little kids through the use of a special tags the rugrats have to wear. No word on how much the robots cost, but I bet they're expensive. And ridiculous. My dad didn't need a babysitter for me when we went shopping. No sir, he just lashed me to the front of the shopping cart. Plus, whenever I misbehaved he'd teach me "valuable life lessons" about how long scars take to heal by running me into displays and other people's carts. *sniffle* Love ya, dad.

Robot babysitter keeps kids occupied in Japanese store [engadget]

Thanks to Shawn, who can destroy robots with just a stare, for the tip

Aug 10 2007 Store Camera for Butt

This is one for the geekologie ladies out there, so guys feel free to shield your eyes. A Hub Clothing store in Scottsdale has added a video camera outside its dressing rooms so women can view the way their butt looks in jeans without having to look over their shoulder. According to the store:

A lot of people dread trying on jeans and so any more entertaining you can make it the better, A lot of people compare it to trying on bathing suits, you know something they just don't like to do, we're trying to make it painless.

My mother makes all my clothes for me, so jean shopping is not an issue. However, for you women out there that find this of concern, let me give you some advice - if you think a pair of jeans makes your butt look big, it's because your ass is huge.

Joking ladies! You are all gorgeous and beautifully proportioned - I mean that (keep those pictures coming).

Store Camera for Butt [Frostfirecore]