Jul 7 2009 OMG, There Is A Dead Person ON MY FINGER
Similar in concept to these voodoo talismans, LifeGems are precious stones made out of the ashes/hair of your deceased loved ones. They range in price from $2,700 to $20,000 (minus setting) depending on the size and color of stone you want and [do not insert joke about having a dead person around your finger here]. Now I'm not saying this company is fraudulent, but I am saying it would be if I were in charge. Who cares if the rock is actually 0% aunt Betsy, as long as you don't know, it's all good. Am I right? Now send me those ashes. Also, ask about my 2-for-1 'Back From the Dead' special. I'm talking zombies, folks, and you're undead relatives are gonna help us fight the robots.
Thanks to Sara, who wears the fingers of her enemies on a necklace. Stylin'.
May 26 2009 Modern Fossils: When A Dino Bone Won't Do
Christopher Locke makes modern fossils using gadgets of yesteryear and concrete. Then he sells them to make a profit because he's smart and doesn't want to hold a real job. I'm with you, Chris.
The modern Fossils are made from actual archaic technology that was once cutting-edge. Most of these examples were discovered in the United States, although the various species are represented all over the world.
In a special process, these items are reproduced in a proprietary blend of concrete and other secret ingredients, giving them the look and feel of real stone fossils. Each fossil is made one at a time, by hand, in an individual mold.
Depending on the species, expect to pay between $65-$100 per fossil. Or, make your own with a bag of concrete and a broken controller. Here, I'll even give away Chris's secret ingredients: rocks and sand. GO GO GO!
Hit the jump to see a bunch more and a link to the product page.
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Apr 27 2009 Stone Lifting Robot Attacks Factory Worker
A stone lifting robot attacked a factory worker in Sweden, nearly killing him. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. At least not if you've been reading Geekologie (The Blog of Truth) long enough. Per Google translation:
When the man went into the building he thought that he broke the power of the machine but he had not. Instead, the robot in time and brought formidable force while in the man's head. He managed to defend itself, but received serious injuries on the body.
The man had big turn. He had four broken ribs and was close to delete with, "says Leif Johansson.
Close to delete. That's Google translation talk for mostly dead. Which is Princess Bride talk for about to kick the bucket. Which is an old idiom that means doing it. YOW YOW! Now, who wants to build a sand castle?
Robot assaulted employee [sydsvenskan]
Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, Ulf, Henrik, Jesper, Kelli, Vince, Christopher, Pike, Edward, Karbalo, MoMan, Adrian, Damien and Matt, who were smart enough to write 'no working with robots' clauses into their contracts.
Apr 11 2009 Shhhh, Don't Tell Her: A Diamond Tester
If you're anything like me, you probably saved yourself a couple grand by going with a piece of windshield glass instead of an actual diamond in your fiance's engagement ring. Just kidding, I'm not really engaged. But I would consider safety glass as a diamond alternative depending on my fiance's vision. Unfortunately, now there's an easy to use diamond-tester on the market to foil my plans. The $200 device quickly determines whether a diamond is the real deal or Moissanite (silicon carbide). That's okay though, we still have options: namely, rewiring the device to always answer diamond to moissanite. Now, which one of you lovely ladies wants to be my bride? Diamonds everyday!
Determine if your diamond is synthetic or real in 1.5 seconds [dvice]
Apr 4 2009 Breakfast Of The Ancients: Baconhenge
Baconhenge is what the ancients ate for breakfast before battling the shit out of each other with rocks and tree branches. Also, sacrificing virgins to the potato gods and dancing around with gourds on their junk (trust me, I mistakenly sat in on an anthropology class when I was high). So, what's in the delicious meal? Basically a bunch of bacon-wrapped French toast sticks standing in a dozen-egg frittata. Mmmm.
Let Baconhenge be the site of your seasonal celebration! Let bacon stand in for the sacrificed Year King, French toast for the Grain Goddess, the eggs in the frittata for the Cosmic Egg, and the vegetables for the bountiful Earth on which we live.
Yeah, you could do that. Or just eat it because it's freaking delicious. Bon Appétit! Or, as we say here in the U.S., Bon Appéboob.
Hit the link for the entire recipe.
Baconhenge [theanticraft]
Thanks to Steve, who got an immediate Bon Appéboner when he saw Baconhenge in real life.
Dec 1 2008 Meteor Fragments Found, Geekologie Writer Plans To Pilfer And Sell On eBay
Remember the meteor that PEW PEWed over Canada last week? Well a bunch of the fragments have finally been located by scientists. So what I'm going to do is grab one of the guys, beat the whereabouts of said fragments out of him, liberate the stones, and then sell those mothers on eBay for a hefty profit! It's the American way. In Canada. It's the Americanadian way!
U of C planetary scientist Dr. Alan Hildebrand and graduate student Ellen Milley announced Friday morning they located several meteorite fragments late Thursday afternoon. They believe thousands of meteorite bits are strewn over 20 square kilometers near the Battle River.
Friday afternoon, they led a group of reporters to the site -- a region called Buzzard Coulee, about 40 kilometres from Lloydminster Reporters were told those observations, combined with the physical evidence, give scientists a treasure trove of data that could give them a better understanding of the solar system.
Haha, I didn't have to beat up the scientist after all. Woops. Anyway, what is this about a better understanding of the solar system? I'll tell you everything you need to know about the solar system in three sentences: It's big. It has a bunch of shit in it, but it's all pretty spread out with lots of nothing in between. Sometimes stuff busts all up into earth's atmosphere and goes buck-ass wild in here. Seriously, just ask the dinosaurs. OH HO -- that's right, they're all dead! My God were they sexy though.
Meteorite pieces found in Saskatchewan [cbcnews]
Thanks to Larry, who made fun of me for crying during The Land Before Time. Also, Dan smells.
Sep 9 2008 How To Really Make Drinks 'On The Rocks'
ZOMG now you can really make drinks 'on the rocks'. You just chill these special Nordic Rocks in the freezer before use, and presto, they keep your drink cold! A set of ten costs about $29 and are sure to scratch your glass and f*** your teeth. $29? I mean seriously, I can get rocks from the yard.
UPDATE: Mmmm, scotch and mud on the rocks. Oh, and what's this -- I got a roly-poly!
stone ice cubes really put your drinks on the rocks [technabob]
Mar 17 2008 Radio's Volume/Station Controlled By Rocks
The Natural Radio is controlled by rocks and operates using a scale. The more rocks you put on the volume scale the louder it gets. Same goes for frequency. Now I'm not very coordinated, so I couldn't imagine getting more than two or three stones balanced. What if I want to listen to 105.7? That seems like a lot of rocks. Maybe sand would work though. I'm much better with sand. You should have seen the wicked castle I built on the beach during my last vacation, it was awesome. Well, until that dick Poseidon destroyed it with a big wave. He still hasn’t forgiven me for that lusty night I spent with his sea-goddess Amphitrite. That's right folks, Aquaman is my son.
Several more pictures of the device after the dive.
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