Nov 2 2009 Mmmm, That's Milky: 648 Megapixel Milky Way

This is a 648 megapixel composite (higher-res version HERE) of the Milky Way created by physicist (and all around badass) Axel Mellinger. Good lookin', Axel.

Physicist Axel Mellinger spent nearly two years traveling 26,000 miles across South Africa, Texas and Michigan. What does he have to show for it? Well, he's cobbled together a stunning 648 megapixel panorama of the Milky Way as seen from Earth, using 3,000 individual photographs. The Central Michigan University professor wants to make the image available for planetariums, as it's large enough to serve educational purposes. It even shows stars that are 1,000 times too faint to be seen by the human eye, so this is a Milky Way like you've never seen.

That IS a Milky Way like I've never seen. Get it? BECAUSE THERE'S NO CHOCOLATE OR NOUGAT LIKE THE CANDY BAR! Yep *cracking knuckles* I can already tell today's gonna be a good day.

Photo: stunning 648 megapixel image of the Milky Way [dvice]

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who sends enough tips to be out already.

Sep 23 2009 Beautiful Shot Of The Pinwheel Galaxy

The Pinwheel Galaxy (higher res version HERE) got its name because it looks like a pinwheel. Geez, it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure that one out. Or maybe it's cause it loves Little Debbie Pecan Spinwheels so much. Well guess what -- so do I! And Starcrunches? Don't even get me started!!

This new three-color composite image was captured by the Isaac Newton Telescope in La Palma, Spain.

Known more officially as Messier 101 or NGC 5457, this classic spiral galaxy is 27 million light years from Earth in the Ursa Major constellation, also known as the Big Dipper. Its slight asymmetry is thought to be the result of an encounter with another galaxy in the recent (astronomically speaking) past. This event also left many huge clouds of glowing gas and plasma known as H II regions.

Though the galaxy, which measures 170,000 light-years across, is visible with the naked eye as a fuzzy spot, large telescopes are needed to see any detail.

You know what I love most about outerspace? I heard it's super quiet. What do you mean, "space is a vacuum"? Those things are loud as shit!

The Pinwheel Galaxy Captured in Dazzling Color [wired]

Sep 16 2009 We're Saved!: Astronomers Discover Solid Planet Outside Of Our Solar System

Unfortunately, it's solid lava and has a daytime temperature of 3,600 degrees Fahrenheit. Still, I'd live there. With Satan. You hear that, my fiery little bitch? I SAID LIGHT THE GRILL.

As scientists search the skies for life elsewhere, they have found more than 300 planets outside our solar system. But they all have been gas balls or can't be proven to be solid. Now a team of European astronomers has confirmed the first rocky extrasolar planet.

The planet is called Corot-7b. It was first discovered earlier this year. European scientists then watched it dozens of times to measure its density to prove that it is rocky like Earth. It's in our general neighborhood, circling a star in the winter sky about 500 light-years away. Each light-year is about 6 trillion miles.

Well folks, it's been real. But I think it's time for your Geekologie Writer to hit the big red 'BLAST-OFF' button and shoot himself to Corot-7b. And like that saying goes, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you make it, your dad will still call you a failure."

Found: Firm place to stand outside solar system [yahoonews]

Sep 14 2009 Starry Nights Baths: Nirvana LED Bathtub

I haven't taken a bath since I was too short to see over the side of the tub, so I don't need a fancy bath fixture. But maybe you do. I heard women take a lot of baths because it makes shaving easier. Speaking of which, what do women shave anyways? I suspect it's their chests!

The Nirvana Bathtub is basically an normal tub that's been outfitted with 360 LED lights on the surface. Touch controls allow you to adjust the lights as well as the water, and a hand shower is motion activated.

Pfft, screw a LED tub -- I'm holding out for a laser bath! I'm gonna get all prune-y and blind at the same time. Just sayin', vision is for the weak and I can benchpress the bar plus 45lbs on each side!

Nirvana bathtub combines a bathtub and a planetarium [dvice]

Aug 29 2009 Bokeh Filter Turns Light Blurs Into Shapes

The Bokeh filter is a $10 physical filter for your camera that turns out of focus light blurs in the background into shapes like hearts and stars and spirals (separate filter required for each). It works by magic. But not black magic, because you don't want to eff with that shit unless you absolutely have to.

One of the fastest growing fads in modern photography is bokeh shapes. Bokeh shapes are shapes of light in the blurred background of photos. These shapes are achieved by using a bokeh filter over the camera lens. Bokeh is a photography term derived from the Japanese word for blurred. Bokeh refers to the unfocused background in a photo.

The Bokeh Filter is a simple filter that clips onto the end of your lens. This filter blocks out pieces of light that cause the bokeh (blur) in your images to take the shape of the filter.

Neato. Now if they could just create a camera filter that makes my face look like Brad Pitt's, maybe I wouldn't be losing so many Facebook friends. I'M A MONSTER! Truck, monster truck. VROOM VROOM, I AM CRUSHING YOUR CAR!

Hit the jump for a video of the filter in action, directly from a camera.

Continue Reading " Bokeh Filter Turns Light Blurs Into Shapes "

Aug 24 2009 Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers

In Japan's unending quest to grow edibles shaped like other things comes these heart and star shaped cucumbers.

These cucumbers represent the cumulative efforts of an agricultural coop determined to make food preparation a little bit more exciting. Comprised of nine women in Chiba, a suburb of Tokyo, this grass roots organization cleverly uses plastic molds affixed to the stem of the plant, with which they can create heart and star shapes when the cucumber is sliced cross-wise.

These romantic cucumbers are selling at fancy supermarkets in Tokyo and as specially ordered wedding gifts at ceremonies throughout Japan. They cost 300 yen each (about $2.50).

Nice try, growers, but Lucky Charms has been growing marshmallows in different shapes for years. Anybody ever picked through a whole box to make a bowl of nothing but marshmallows? Well I hope you washed your hands first.

Hit the jump for what the vegetables look like ON A SALAD.

Continue Reading " Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers "

Jul 9 2009 NASA Discovers 11 Billion-Year-Old Supernova

Eleven billion, that's pretty old. Probably dated your mom in high school. Ba-ba-ba-burn!

Astronomers on Wednesday said they had found the farthest supernova ever detected, a giant star that ripped apart around 11 billion years ago.

The ancient supernova was found after astronomers compared several years of images taken from a portion of the sky, enabling them to look for objects that changed in brightness over time.

The universe is believed to be 13.7 billion years old, so the supernova marks the death of one of earliest stars in creation.

The previous supernova record was an event that happened around six billion years ago.

Ooh, I feel a song coming on. *ahem*

Someday you will find me
caught beneath the landslide
in a bourbon supernova
a gin & tonic black dwarf in the bar.

Massive supernova occurred 11 billion years ago [yahoonews]

Thanks to Torotoro from Alabanyor, who is old enough to be your father. And might be.

Jun 23 2009 UPDATE: 56 Star Faced Girl A Dirty Liar

In an unshocking turn of events that surprised no one, it turns out the tattooed star face girl is a dirty liar and a slag. Okay, I dunno about the slag part, but I've always wanted to say it and figured now's my chance.

Kimberley Vlaeminck, 18, claimed that she'd asked for three small stars but fell asleep during the procedure and woke up with a whole galaxy on her face.

But she has now confessed she knew exactly what tattoo parlour owner Rouslan Toumaniantz was doing but changed her mind later.

She said she lied because her father was "furious".

Pathetic. Of course your father got furious, Kimberley, THAT'S WHAT FATHERS DO. Also, drink and forget your birthday. :(

Tattoo girl: 'I lied about my stars' [metro]

Thanks to Thumperchica, who called this from the beginning because she has common sense can see the future.

Jun 17 2009 Star Face: Girl Asks For 3 Stars, Gets 56

Allegedly Kimberley Vlaminck, 18, went into a tattoo parlor and requested three stars on the left side of her face by her eye. However, she claims she fell asleep during the procedure and woke up with 56. I suspect she's lying.

Rouslan, who runs the tattoo parlour called The Tattoo Box in Courtrai, said Kimberley was awake and actually looked in the mirror several times during the procedure to see how it was going.

'He said she knew 'exactly what she wanted. The trouble all started when she went home and her father and boyfriend threw a fit. They are saying things now like I doped her or hypnotised her. What rubbish!'

'She asked for 56 stars and that's what she got.'

Well, I hope you've all learned a valuable lesson from this story. One about how sweet Kimberley would look with a little rocketship added right by her mouth. I WILL SUPERNOVA YOUR FACE!

What did she expect? Incredible face revealed of the man who tattooed girl with 56 stars when she only asked for three [dailymail]

Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck, Rémy, STOMPY, Joemo and Menace, who all went to the same dentist to get their teeth cleaned and walked out swinging 2X manhammers.

May 22 2009 Dude -- Compared To Our Galaxy, We're Just Like, Little Ants Man. Little Ants That Are High

This is a time-lapse video of the center of the Milky Way Galaxy rising over Texas from 9:20 PM to 6:43 AM on April 21-22, 2009, during a star party. Now I have no idea what a star party is, but if it's anything like the last bachelor party I went to, I want in. We could even shoot the hooker's body into space like they did Spock's in The Wrath of Khan!

Tuesday Diversion: The Milky Way Time-lapse [chicagoist]

Thanks to Danny, who reminds you all: shoot for the stars. Even if you miss, you might bag an alien.

Apr 27 2009 Devil Worshipping Mega Fail: The Satanist Star I Cut Into My Arm

This is definitely NOT how you pledge your allegiance to the dark lord. You show up at the Pit of Eternal Damnation with this thing on your arm and a bunch of imps are just gonna laugh at you and then take turns packing your asshole full of hot charcoals. Just sayin', tsssssssssss.

I Cut the Satan Star Into My Arm! [youthink]

Thanks to Yopoleo, who once beat the devil in a fiddling contest and never received his golden violin prize. I warned you, Yopoleo, you can't trust that horned bastard.

Feb 5 2009 Have You Ever Wondered How Much It Would Cost To Build Your Own Death Star? Hint: I Didn't Even Know That Was A Real Number

Let's face it, we all want our own Death Star. But how much would it actually cost to build one, today? Well, a lot. Try 15 septillion dollars. That's $15,602,022,489,829,821,422,840,226! Ladies and gentlemen, we may have to settle for the half-sized model.

(The Death Star has) a volume of 17.16 quadrillion cubic meters. At 1/10 volume, we'll need 1.71 Quadrillion cubic meters of steel, weighing in at 134 quadrillion tonnes. In 2008 steel products, from wire to ingots were selling for an average of $962 per tonne, so our cost of steel alone is $12.95 quintillion.

Now, how about getting that into space? According to the numbers I could find on the internet, it costs around $95 million to ship 1 tonne of materials into space, so that means we'll be cutting NASA a cheque for $12.79 septillion. (Remind me to order larger cheques from the bank please.)

Okay, so if we can cut out NASA we can basically save ourselves $13 septillion, dropping the total cost of a Death Star to a paltry $2 septillion. Now I think that's manageable folks -- so you start sending me your money, and I'll start building a strip club the rocketship.

Check out the first link for a much more in-depth look into all the costs associated with the project.

One Death Star for $15 Septillion? What a deal! [rickgold]
via
One Death Star for $15 Septillion?! [starwarsblog]

Thanks to Adam, who the Force is totally with.

Nov 14 2008 First Peek At Another Planetary System!

That's right folks, this is the first photo (I have no idea what this was then), taken by the Hubble Space Telescope, of a planet orbiting another star. "[The picture] shows a planet orbiting the bright southern star Fomalhaut, located 25 light-years away in the constellation Piscis Australis." Hit the jump for another pictures of a planetary system 130 light-years away. That Hubble must have some camera! And, wait a minute -- THAT'S NOT A PLANET, THAT'S THE EYE OF SAURON! We're all dead! But, before I go, where'd that sexy little Gollum run off to?

Hit it for a couple more photos.

Continue Reading " First Peek At Another Planetary System! "

Jun 23 2008 Cool: Take A Bath Under The Stars Without Exposing Yourself To The Elderly Neighbors

The Homestar Spa by SEGA Toys turns your bathroom into a planetarium whenever you're taking a bath. You just fill up the tub, strip down to your birthday suit (or a towel if you're a prude like the chick in the photos), and hop on in. Then, with a flick of its switch, the $70 unit instantly fills your bathroom with hundreds of trillions of millions of "stars". Not feeling stars tonight? No problem, flip the unit over and hit the switch again to fill the bottom of your tub with a, uh, bloody mess.

Sega's Homestar Spa: Planetarium edition [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who calls the model in the photos despite her obvious prudishness.

Jun 19 2008 Japan Sees Significant Increase In The Popularity Of Adult Geriatric Films

Apparently business is booming for makers of geriatric boom-boom movies in Japan. Demand for such titles as "Grandparents Getting Down" and "Never Too Old To Bone" has nearly doubled in the past decade. TIME has a whole long article about it, but I thought I'd just include my favorite part, since it's quite possibly the awesomest thing I've ever read, ever.

Besides his glowing complexion, Shigeo Tokuda looks like any other 74-year-old man in Japan. Despite suffering a heart attack three years ago, the lifelong salaryman now feels healthier, and lives happily with his wife and a daughter in downtown Tokyo. He is, of course, more physically active than most retirees, but that's because he's kept his part-time job -- as a porn star.

Shigeo Tokuda is, in fact, his screen name -- he prefers not to disclose his real name because, he insists, his wife and daughter have no idea that he has appeared in about 350 films over the past 14 years.

Dude, you've got your face plastered all over porno boxes (that's him in the picture). How the hell could they not know? The article even says your character has become his own brand. Surely someone has told them. I mean, you're a very distinguished gentleman, and that pipe is a dead give-away. Seriously though, you're my new hero. I wish my wife and family didn't know what I do for a living. They're embarrassed as hell.

Japan's Booming Sex Niche: Elder Porn [time] (nice long article if you're interested)

Thanks Alex and Allyson, but I don't know if I can forgive you

Jun 18 2008 Scientists Discover 'Super-Earths' 42-Light Years Away, Regular Earth Gets Depressed

So scientists have discovered what they're dubbing "super-Earths" circling a star 42-light years away. That's an artist's depiction of what they might look like if they were identical in appearance to earth and weren't actually pink with purple polka-dots like I know they are. Three have been identified so far, and they were detected not by sight, but by the effects they have on the star they orbit.

Using a new tool to study more than 100 stars once thought to be devoid of planets, the Swiss-French team found that about one-third had planets that are only slightly bigger than Earth.

That's how the star with three super-Earths, 42 light-years away, was spotted. The European team took a second look with a relatively new instrument that measures tiny changes in light wave lengths and is so sensitive that it is precisely positioned and locked in a special room below the observatory in Chile. And the key is kept in Switzerland, scientists say.

So, you're probably still wondering what the hell a super-Earth is, aren't you? Well you're in luck, because I'm a scientist and I just happen to know. Super-Earths are planets similar to Earth, but have gained super powers -- like the ability to see through another planet's shirt and ogle its mountains.

Astronomers find 'super Earths' circling a star [yahoonews]

Thanks and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! to loyal Geekologie operative Altaire

May 15 2008 Alien "Email" Could Arrive As Early As 2015, The Pope Is Totally Cool With That, You Know, As Long As It Doesn't Really Happen

Hisashi Hirabayashi and a colleague used a radio telescope in 1983 to send a message to Altair, a star approximately 16 light-years away.

The message, which is believed to have reached Altair in 1999, consisted of 13 binary-encoded images (71 x 71 pixels each) that showed, among other things, the characteristics of our solar system, the location of our planet, the known chemical elements, whole numbers, human characteristics, and the basic structure of DNA. Their message also attempted to explain biological evolution with a depiction of mammals evolving from primeval life forms (see the image above of the fish crawling onto land).

That one picture looks like a midget kicking a naked woman in the shins, but whatever. Now provided the aliens (if there are any) were intelligent enough to receive and decode the message, they could have a message back to us as early as 2015. Hot damn, I can hardly wait!

Strangely, one of the pictures sent to Altair includes the molecular formula for ethanol along with the kanji characters for kanpai (the Japanese toast of "cheers!") and the English word "TOAST." "I came up with that idea while drinking," Hirabayashi playfully admits. "The aliens probably won't understand that part."

Oh, they'll understand Hirabayashi, they'll understand. Alcohol is the universal language that that makes communication with the opposite sex possible. The googly-eyed bastards will definitely get that. What I'm worried about is them understanding the rest of it.

And in a related story the Vatican has announced that it is perfectly Christian to believe in aliens, despite their not being in the Bible.

The Bible "is not a science book," Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes (Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory) said, adding that he believes the Big Bang theory is the most "reasonable" explanation for the creation of the universe. The theory says the universe began billions of years ago in the explosion of a single, super-dense point that contained all matter.

And when asked why aliens didn't make an appearance in the Bible, Funes noted, "It's not a damn sci-fi novel."

Alien e-mail reply to arrive in 2015? [pinktentacle]
and
Vatican: It's OK to believe in aliens [yahoonews]

Thanks to Melissa, who may be the only person who really knows what's out there

Feb 27 2008 Star Watches Let You Know What's Up (!)

These Celestial Watches from Citizen let you know what's going on up in the heavens at any given time. They're a limited edition of 200 yellow ones and 500 blue, and run $585 for the large size and $449 for the smaller one. Basically the face rotates around in real time giving you an exact picture of the night sky that's currently visible. Then using the various dials you can, um, do other stuff that is way over my head because I'm a stupid a-hole. All I'm hoping is that it comes with an alarm that warns of an impending alien visit and subsequent probing. This alarm will be known as Uranus alarm, because it helps protects it from experimentation.

Celestial Watches [popgadget]

Feb 21 2008 Canadian Sells Governance Of M-81 Galaxy

Some Canadian on eBay is selling the rights to become "the rightful governor and overlord of Galaxy M81". Key features of the galaxy include an 11.6 million light-year distance from earth, a whole freaking shit-ton of stars, and a sweet black hole of 70 million solar masses in the center. While I'm all about ruling galaxies, I find the eBay auction a little questionable. For starters the person has 0 feedback, and secondly they mistakenly call Ursa Major (the Great Bear) the Big Dipper. While the Dipper is included in the Bear, it's not the location of the galaxy. Now I'm not saying that I'm not going to buy it, I just want to make sure I get my galaxy's worth before dropping the $1 opening bid and $14 shipping. Oh dang there's a notice.

Notice:

* the (possible) inhabitants of galaxy M81 have not consented to being sold or governed. This would make you a certified galactic dictator!
* Seller offers no guarantees that the name you choose will be recognized by the scientific community.
* Photo is 12 million years outdated due to speed of light limitations.
* the total value of this sale is in the framed certificate.

Damnit, so much for the Geekologie Galaxy.

UPDATE: I can't believe you people are actually bidding on this thing. That said, I just made my $1 million bid. Suckers!

eBay Auction

Thanks to Tyson, who already has his hands full ruling this galaxy, for the tip

Dec 28 2007 OLED "Star" Watch, Looks Good, I Want One

The OLED TIWE (like TIME, but with the M upside down!) watch by industrial designer Lv Zhogfang is a neat concept. It normally displays a bunch of little white balls ("stars") randomly floating around the face. But when you give it a shake or tap on the glass, PRESTO! -- the balls come together to show the time! While still in the early stages of development, it doesn't seem like it would be that difficult to manufacture. And if they're not too expensive I'd get one. It's definitely a step up from the "shake activated" watch I have now. When you shake mine the minute and hour hands come off and float around inside. It would be cool if that was supposed to happen, but it's not. Stupid Folex.

oled watch: my god, it's full of stars [technabob]

thanks to Jenny, who I'm sure is hot as hell, for the tip