Aug 29 2009 There's An App For That: iPhone Fauxmercial

This is a fake commercial for iPhone apps. I thought it was pretty funny. And not just because stalking ex-girlfriends is funny, because that is only mildy humorous (but mostly sad and creepy). No, I just couldn't get enough of the guy's voice. I must have you on my home answering machine!

LEAKED: New iPhone commercial [adamthinks]

Thanks to The Baroness, who had an iPhone for a day and then dropped it and broke it BECAUSE SHE MEANT TO.

Comments ( 27 ) Digg Reddit Del.ici.ous

Mar 5 2009 Wow, I'm Shocked: Robot Programmed To Love Goes Too Far, Commences Stalking

MORE: apocalypse , bad , bad bad bad , bad choices , bad ideas , bad to the bone , cut this shit out , emotions , emulator , experiment , fail , failed , failure , get a hint , humans , no , nope , pathetic , robot , robotic death , shocking , stalking , stop , wow , wrong , wtf is wrong with you? , wtf were you thinking?

robot love.jpg

Kenji, a third-generation humanoid, was programmed by Toshiba's Akimu Robotic Research Institute to emulate human emotions, including love. But shockingly, Kenji has gone haywire and will probably end up killing off all his love interests.

The trouble all started when a young female intern began to spend several hours each day with Kenji, testing his systems and loading new software routines. When it came time to leave one evening, however, Kenji refused to let her out of his lab enclosure and used his bulky mechanical body to block her exit and hug her repeatedly. The intern was only able to escape after she had frantically phoned two senior staff members to come and temporarily de-activate Kenji.

Dr. Takahashi admits that they will more than likely have to decommission Kenji permanently, but he's optimistic about one day succeeding where Kenji failed. "This is only a minor setback. I have full faith that we will one day live side by side with, and eventually love and be loved by, robots," he said.

Oh hell no you crackpot. Ain't no love for robots here. It's kill or be killed. YOUR EXPERIMENT FAILED MISERABLY -- GIVE UP. Seriously, we need this guy behind bars STAT. The day I'm forced to love a robot is the day I stab that mechanical beast through the eye-camera with a rusty screwdriver and sparks fly everywhere as I mash it around in his brain real good until the BEEPITY BOOP BEEPING stops and I push my would-be mechanical lover off me and take a nap.

Robot Programmed to Love Goes too Far [muckflash]

Thanks to Jon, who once kicked a robot in the metallic junk for stepping on his shoe.

Comments ( 51 ) Digg Reddit Del.ici.ous

Feb 5 2009 Get Your Stalk On With Google Maps Latitude

MORE: cell phones , chages in latitudes changes in attitudes i will hunt you down no matter where you try to hide , creepy , dangerous , do not need , google maps , google maps stalker , gps , hmm , ninja , no thanks , problem causer , questionable , stalking , stealth , tracking , wow

Want to know exactly where your "friends" are at all times? Well now you can, thanks to a Google Maps Mobile (and desktop) feature called Latitude. All you have to do is ask to borrow your "friend's" phone briefly, accept the invitation you discreetly send from your own, and presto: access their GPS coordinates at all times (note: stalkee must have a GPS enabled phone)! Simple as that. Not that I actually did that or anything. Ha, no that's not me in the bushes outside. Pfft, you think there's only one person in the whole world with a "GEEKOLOGIE WRITER" t-shirt? Get real. But seriously, isn't it time for you to slip into something a little more comfortable?

Google Maps Mobile Offer Latitude Feature [ubergizmo]

Thanks to Herb, who I strangely keep running into.

Comments ( 24 ) Digg Reddit Del.ici.ous