Sep 21 2009 Not For Airline Travel: Ninja Kunai USB Drive
A dangerously metal USB drive shaped like a ninja knife, it just makes sense. The 2GB Ninja Kunai drives cost $125 and are in no way, shape or form safe for airplane travel. Or train. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't even drive anywhere with one. Because I used to keep a little pen knife on my keychain and now I push the gas with a peg. Which brings me to an important point: Pirate for hire. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, I do bachelor parties.
Ninja Kunai USB Drive: the tech equivalent of getting a foreign language tattoo [engadget]
Thanks to Harrison, who once stabbed a foe with a traditional USB drive and lost all his data.
Sep 16 2009 Hack And Slash: College Student Kills Would-Be Robber With Samurai Sword
John Pontilillo, a Johns Hopkins undergrad, killed a would-be robber with a samurai sword after finding the thieving bastard attempting to pilfer items from his garage. Nice, John, I would have done the same thing. Except blindfolded because I'm like 30x tougher than you are.
Hours earlier, someone had broken into John Pontolillo's house and taken two laptops and a video-game console. Now it was past midnight, and he heard noises coming from the garage out back.
The Johns Hopkins University undergraduate didn't run. He didn't call the police. He grabbed his samurai sword.With the 3- to 5-foot-long (HOW LONG WAS IT?!), razor-sharp weapon in hand, police say, Pontolillo crept toward the noise. He noticed a side door in the garage had been pried open. When a man inside lunged at him, police say, the confrontation was fatal.
Pontolillo...struck the intruder no more than twice, police say, nearly severing his left hand and inflicting what police termed a "spear laceration."
Hell yeah, vigilante justice. This is exactly why I booby-trapped my Pop Tart cabinet. Next time my roommate tries to steal some, BOOM! Literally, boom: monster effing explosion. Say goodbye to your face, Dave -- it sucked anyways! Seriously, your mom doesn't even love it. I know because she told me WHEN WE WERE MAKING LOVE. She talked about you the whole time.
Hopkins student kills man with samurai sword [baltimoresun]
and
Picture Source
Thanks to Justina, An, draw and jawn, muzakx, Kate from NashVegas, Alan, Alex, Carrie and e., who would have used nunchucks.
Jun 15 2009 Alleged Anti-Stab Knife Won't Stab To Kill
Allegedly this New Point knife was designed to be unable to stab someone to death. Questionable, I know.
Mr Cornock, 42, from Swindon, said that the knife will cut vegetables, but will make it almost impossible to stab someone to death and will reduce the risk of accidental injuries.
He said: "It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can't inflict a fatal wound. Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.
I call shenanigans. There's no such thing as a stab-proof knife. I could hands-down kill somebody (or something -- I'm looking at you, zombie robot) with this thing. Shit, one time I stabbed a guy to death with a brick.
First Anti-Stab Knife Prevents Deadly Kitchen "Accidents" [gizmodo]
Thanks to Pew³, who doesn't need knives because the dude's made of lasers.
Apr 10 2009 Woman Tries To Break Up Sword Fight, Dies
In the latest of a string of sword attacks, a woman tried to break up her husband and grandson involved in a serious swordfight, and ended up getting stabbed and killed. And that, my friends, is why you always bring a gun to a swordfight.
The fight was reported about 1 a.m. today. Rondeau (39) and Adolf Stegbauer, 69, both of Indianapolis, were "actively involved in a sword fight," IMPD spokesman Sgt. Matt Mount said in a statement. One man used what police described as a World War II Japanese officer's sword and another had a thin blade sword, although investigators were not immediately certain which weapon was used by which man.
Preliminary reports from police said that Franziska Stegbauer, 77, Indianapolis, tried to break up the fight and was fatally stabbed. Police found all three victims inside the residence on Raceway Road when they arrived early this morning.Police said Rondeau was Franziska Stegbauer's grandson.
Well Happy Easter to you too! Thankfully, tipster Chuck Nunchuck was kind enough to create a graphic of what the confrontation obviously looked like, so that was nice. Good lookin', Chuck, but it could have used some more PEW PEW. Love that stuff.
Woman dies after intervening in sword fight [indystar]
Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck, twice as deadly as that sissy-boy Chuck Norris.
Mar 23 2009 True Blood Advertisements In New Zealand
HBO posted these True Blood posters in New Zealand (who seems to get much cooler ads than we do) to advertise the upcoming season of the blood-sucking series starting June 2009. As you can see, each ad features several handy-dandy vampire pokers should you find yourself with some pointy-toothed bastard eying your neck on the bus. Ya best protect ya neck! And also, your purse -- vampires are thieves! It's true, that dreamy Edward Cullen stole my heart. You smell that? *sniiiiiiiiiiiiff* Smells like Twilight on DVD!
Hit the jump for several more pictures, this one and the next of which were taken by New Zealand Geekologie operative, Jonathan.
Continue Reading " True Blood Advertisements In New Zealand "
Mar 18 2009 BigDog: Now With More Horns, Goring
Remember Boston Dynamic's BigDog? Well they decided it'd be funny to put horns on it and pretend like it's a bull. As you can see, it's not humorous. Nope, not one bit. I don't care if you paint its face and have it make balloon animals at the fair, BigDog will never be funny. Or cute. Not even with a furry little bunny tail and dressed like a schoolgirl. Which, ZOMG.....
dinosaursdressedlikeschoolgirls.com!
Video: BigDog turned into BigBull (with BigHorns) [engadget]
Thanks to Julian and Pete, who could totally ride that thing for the full 8 seconds.
Mar 9 2009 You're A Real Ninja Now: The Belt Sword
The Belt Sword is a questionable sword hidden within a belt. It was created to make dorks feel safe even though in a real-life situation they'd either forget they were wearing the thing or stab themselves trying to get it out. Also, they look suspiciously like aluminum-foil wrapped cardboard. The belt with 24" and 27" swords costs $150. $210 if you want five swords (24", 27", 29", 31", and 33"). Sorry folks, but I'm not interested. No, unlatching my buckle releases another, much more powerful weapon. Obviously, I'm talking about a flying dragon. *unbuckling* KA-P....uh-oh. Looks like the proverbial chicken has flown the coop. And, oh God -- taken off with the eggs.
Hit the jump to see more of this chick, along with a picture of the system and links to the product page and video demonstrations.
Continue Reading " You're A Real Ninja Now: The Belt Sword "
Feb 7 2009 eBay: Vampire Killing Kit Perfect For Bedroom
We've featured a couple other vampire killing kits (not to mention zombie killing ones) here on Geekologie, but I particularly like this one because it's nice and discreet. Typically, it just looks like an old art print (lower right in photo), but slide the front off and TA-DOW -- a mirror, cross, garlic, holy water and stake.
So the next time your suspicious friend who only comes over after dark and stares at your neck is in your room, whip out the mirror from this, and if there is no reflection, you'll be glad the rest of what you need is at your fingertips! Yeah!
I've got news for you: if you whip out that mirror and your lady friend doesn't have a reflection, guess what -- you just had sex with a vampire! High-fives all around! Now stake her.
Thanks to Mike, who's never killed a vampire but has slayed two dragons.
Feb 6 2009 True Love: Guy Wakes Up After One Night Stand, Woman Carved Her Name Into His Arm
Oh wow, I thought this sort of thing only happened in romance novels. Apparently Wayne Robinson, went over to Dominque Fisher's house for a little sex after a night of drinking and Valium, and woke up the next morning with her name carved into his arm and a bunch of other cuts. Valium: sleep through anything.
When I woke I was covered in blood. Dominique was snoring. I just had to get out of there. I didn't even wake her to ask what she'd done.'
'I'm scarred for life,' he told The Sun. 'I wish I'd never met her.'He said: 'I went to her place for sex, not to be tattoed. I can't believe she did this to me and I hate her.
Haha, that's what you get, Wayne. Getting cut is the non-collegiate equivalent of waking up with a giant Sharpie penis on your cheek. That said, don't lie -- you'd hit it again.
Hit the jump for a picture of the couple (both very good looking) and another of the rest of the damage.
Jan 25 2009 Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs
Are you a bicyclist that's tired of being cut off and hit by cars? Well get a pair of these handlebar key plugs and you can at least deface the perpetrator's car in the process of getting run over.
These modified handlebar plugs speak to the disgruntled urban cyclist. By retro-fitting stock parts with up-cycled keys, bikers can now find satisfaction with close encounters. This concept puts a new twist on the timeless tradition of car-keying revenge. By Matt Braun and Jared Delorenzo.
They cost $5 for a set of two and fit snugly into regular handlebars and assholes. But in all honesty, if I catch you keying my car I can and will kill you. I'm serious -- if you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs "
Dec 26 2008 eBay: Pocket Sized Vampire Hunting Kit
Well we've already seen a $15,000 full-sized vampire killing kit. But what if you want something smaller? You know, a little vampire protection that'll fit in your pocket or man-purse? Enter the Vintage Pocket Sized Vampire Slaying Kit.
This is a Vampire killing kit that will travel with you, cause you never know when you may need it. It measures 6 5/8 inches long, and 1 1/4 inch square. One of a kind for sure.
The crucifix is from Paris, as stamped on the back of it, and it is obviously old. The Box also appears very old. The vials are brass, and contain Holy Water in the one with the copper tag with the "H" stamped on it, and the other vial has "G"stamped on it for garlic. The vial corks are sealed in red wax. A small wooden stake completes the set. A "V" is stamped on the copper plate on top for "Vampire".The parts, crucifix, wood box, screws, and metals used are old and tarnished, and most parts of the set are vintage.
Eh, I'd make my own if I were you. But $20 isn't too bad if you're lazy. You just better hope that holy water isn't urine. I hear vampires love that shit. And speaking of vampires -- the lead in Twilight, so dreamy.*
*This message brought to you by The World For A More Effeminate Geekologie Writer.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures of the kit, and a link to the auction.
Nov 20 2008 Feel Just Like Wolverine, Minus The Cool
The Tomahawk Skull Gauntlet costs $40 and surprisingly doesn't have any customer reviews yet. Although I just wrote one. Unfortunately, it looks like it might be moderated first. Booo. UPDATE: Review is now up on the product page.
With this gauntlet strapped to your arm there is no question you are the man in charge! The three piercing spikes stretch 11 1/2" long and are constructed from solid stainless steel. The palm cover is cast metal construction with unique details down to each "bone". With an overall length of 17", this monstrous handspike will not only protect your grip but will send your foes running in the other direction.
Sweet, now you can pretend to be Wolverine. PEW PEW! What do you mean Wolverine doesn't go PEW? I mean, he has a laser blaster doesn't he? He doesn't? Well who am I thinking of then? Oh, right, me. PEW PEW bitches!
Thanks to Richthegringo, who promised me a back scratch as soon as they arrive.
Sep 25 2008 The Last Thing You'll Ever See
Imagine: You're comfortably asleep when suddenly you're startled awake by this creepy bastard leaning over the foot of your bed. What do you do?
A: Bleed, he just stabbed you.
NTUST's humanoid robot walks into your nightmare [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who, for two tips in one day, wins a special prize.
Jul 22 2008
Gun + Knife = Gnife Knun Knife-Gun
The Knife-Gun is the lovechild of a small caliber handgun that humped a switchblade at the monthly gun & knife show they hold at the civic center. I couldn't find much more information on it, except that they're allegedly for sale and it looks like it shoots a pretty small caliber round. Probably more effective than the WASP Knife at a distance though. But it probably sucks underwater. Still, I love hybrid weapons, and this little puppy inspired me to invent the boomerang grenade. See, you pull and pin and throw it, and then it flies around and comes ba....okay, so it needs some work.
Thanks Lee, I owe you a beer. Haha, just kidding.
Jul 21 2008 Wasp Knife In Action: Goodbye Watermelon
Remember the WASP Knife we posted last month that injects a ball of compressed gas into the stabee and explodes their organs? Well now the company has released a video of the knife versus a watermelon. After all, nobody can sell deadly knives like a jackass in a wetsuit and safety goggles stabbing a watermelon in his backyard. If this was an infomercial I'd have called immediately and gotten two and a free LED keychain bonus gift. Just imagine all the time you could save carving the Thanksgiving turkey. Minutes.
Hit the jump for disturbing watermelon carnage. Seriously, If you can blow up a watermelon with this thing, I don't even wanna know what you can do to a cantaloupe.
Continue Reading " Wasp Knife In Action: Goodbye Watermelon "
Jun 16 2008 Knife Injects Compressed Gas Into Stabee
The best I can tell the WASP Knife has nothing to do with white Protestants. Nope, it has to do with stabbing something and then releasing 24g of compressed gas into the wound and exploding their organs (VIDEO demo after the jump).
Since World War II, the military has seen much of its soldiers equipment go through many radical changes and technological advances. The knife has gone unchanged until now. Our soldiers deserve the most advanced equipment that is available to them. A simple knife is okay, but when it comes down to the last line of defense, you want something that will get the job done. Introducing the WASP Injection Knife. This easy-to-use, easy-to-reload weapon delivers up to a 24g shot of compressed gas at 800 PSI on land or underwater.
What the? I read on some message board that it was useful if you're attacked by a shark, as the compressed gas would screw with its ability to remain at depth and swim correctly. But besides that it just sounds like a dangerous freaking knife. The company's website is currently down claiming they are "in negotiations to sell it strictly on the non-civilian market" so I don't know if this website selling them for $389 is legit or not. Regardless, that knife scares the hell out of me. Almost as much as my freshman roommate in college did. I'd hear a strange noise at night and flip the light on to find he'd been sharpening a knife in the dark. And that, my friends, is when I started dating an ugly chick to sleep in her room.
Worthwhile VIDEO of the thing being demonstrated, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Knife Injects Compressed Gas Into Stabee "
May 15 2008 BBQ Sword Perfect For A Masked Meat Thief
The $30 BBQ Sword is a grilling accessory made to look like a sword. As you can see, it features a nice hilt and the end is pronged so you can stab meat. As an added bonus the cardboard box it comes in has a mask cutout so you can pilfer your neighbor's meat without revealing your identity.
Whether you're prancing around the garden making a total Athos of yourself, flummoxing guests with your frankly ridiculous mask or thrusting away at a regiment of seditious quarterpounders, the BBQ Sword is guaranteed to become your new favorite cooking implement. Most impressive of all we've managed to write (this entire review) without mentioning pork swords. On guard!
I want one. Oh, and what the hell is a pork sword? Is that a slang term for hot dong or cockwurst? Because, if it is, whoever wrote that review is vulgar. Grow up already.
Thanks to Jackie, who apparently works for the company and should send me a free one of these.
Mar 24 2008 Shirt Allegedly Protects From Knife Slashes
This shirt from Nihon Uni of Japan allegedly protects its wearer from knife attacks. But be warned -- only slashes, NOT stabs. They cost anywhere from $190-$522 for short-sleeved models and $220-$590 for the long. The shirts are constructed of a ultrahigh molecular weight polyethylene fiber that's 3x the strength of cotton. Apparently they were designed to address the recent increase in knife attacks on convenience store clerks and children in Japan. If these really help then I'm all for them. However I'm going to hold out for the stab proof version myself. When the wife gets mad she doesn't get all slashy on me, she gets stabby. And, on more than one occasion, shooty.
Meshy T-shirt from Japan protects you from Knife attacks but not Shurikens [newlaunches]
Nov 16 2007 Knife Block Resembles Circus Side Show
The Throwzini Knife Block isn't your ordinary knife receptacle. Okay it is, but at least it looks good. Reminiscent of this knife rest, it resembles the 'Rotating Wheel of Puncture Wounds' I saw at a circus once as a kid. It was awesome, the dude caught a knife right in the leg. Blood was spurting like a ruptured fire hydrant. Urban Trends will be selling these soon, for an undisclosed price. I managed to get my hands on one early, and I've got to say I'm a little disappointed. I thought you were actually supposed to throw the knives into the slots, and that magnets or something would guide them into their holes. I ended up losing the two smallest toes on my right foot, my left thumb, and a cat before I figured it out that's not how it works.
Throwzini's Knife Block Stores Cutlery on Wheel of Death [gizmodo]
Sep 21 2007 Knife Rest Lets Guests Know You'll Kill Them
If you want guests to know you'll kill them if they don't like the food you've prepared, try this little guy. Designed by Raffaele Iannello, and available from ThinkGeek, "The Ex" is available in red or black ($70) and chrome ($100). It even comes with five knives, so you're ready to do some stabbing right out of the box. I would get one, but the doctor says I'm not allowed near sharp objects. The last time I had a Swiss Army knife I cut two fingers off. They weren't mine though, they were the doctor's. I'm from the old school, where you hold the thermometer in your mouth. You know where he wanted to put it?
Knife Rest Lets Guests Know You'll Kill Them [thinkgeek]
