Nov 10 2009 Genius: Christmas Tree Ornament Flask

Because I'm just as bad as Verizon, here's a Christmas ornament flask. It's pretty genius and I'm committing to covering my tree with nothing but them. No twinkly lights, no angel topper, just a shit-ton of booze. High-five, Santa! You fat bastard.

Cleverly disguised like an ornament, this coated stainless steel flask is here to make the holidays a little brighter (or maybe foggier). Finished with a ribbon-topped twist top and flat bottom (you might need to put it down).

Each flask will set you back $24 from Urban Outfitters, which is kind of steep. So yeah, maybe I won't be decking my halls with them after all. But don't think I still won't hang a bourbon-filled Gatorade bottle from the tree, because I 100% will. And, if I play my cards right, make out with a camel in the nativity. Humpy -- I've seen the way you've been eying me!

Product Site
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Ornament Flask Makes The Season Fuzzy [nerdapproved]

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who better have a little shrine to Geekologie in that closet. Come on, I'll give you lock of my hair!

Oct 29 2009 I See You!: 8x Zoom Case For Nintendo DSi

Want an 8x zoom lens for your DSi because you're secretly a spy? Me neither. Want an 8x zoom lens for your DSi because you're in love with the receptionist at the free clinic and you want to candidly take pictures of her? You've got problems. But if you've also got $25 you can have the Nyko DSi Zoom Case, a case and lens that attach to your DSi and allow up to 8x zoom. Plus, it's super inconspicuous. Goodbye bow tie camera!

Hit the jump for a shot of it's zooming capabilities and all the accessories.

Continue Reading " I See You!: 8x Zoom Case For Nintendo DSi "

Aug 22 2009 High Security: USB Drive Has Number Lock

Worried about somebody getting at the precious files on you flash drive? Try keeping it in your pocket and not leaving it on the bus. But if you're really worried you should handcuff it to your wrist like a briefcase filled with pirate treasure. Alternatively, get a Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive ($99).

[The drive] features a built in num keypad that requires you to enter a pin code before you can access your data. It is the 256bit encryption, if someone try to access your data by forcing access, the Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive will automatically destroy all data stored on the drive. However, if you do worry that you'll forget your PIN you can back everything up online, and there's also an optional PIN replacement assistance service available too.

Wow, that seems pretty intense. You must have some seriously serious files in order to require this much security. What are you, a spy? And, if so, how about hooking me up with a bow tie camera?

Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive [likecool]

Thanks to Ste, who keeps his data protected the old fashioned way: with hungry lions.

Jun 10 2009 Aaaah!: Israeli Army To Deploy Robot Snakes

Well folks, based on the tips I've been getting, it looks like today might turn into Robot Apocalypse Awareness Day (RAAD -- which is ironic, because this is far from the power of sick). Long story short: it's probably best to empty your bowels now. So, apparently the Israeli army has been working on the development of creepy robot snakes (not to be confused with these ones) for use in battle. Not cool. Also, they may need to brush up on their Photoshop skills if they were trying to inconspicuously remove the power cord from that picture.

Well, apparently, the snake's physical attributes and all-terrain mobility advantages haven't gone unnoticed by the Israeli military. The Jerusalem Post is reporting that the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) have introduced an all-terrain snake-like recon robot/UGV (Unmanned Ground Vehicle) a.k.a. robotic snake or "robot snake" to crawl around the battlefield looking for the enemy and potential targets. If it locates the enemy, the robot snake can then slither up to the enemy/target and record audio and video of that target, and then slither right back off.

There is even talk of packing the things with explosives (making them much more like my snake) so you can detonate your enemies from afar. You know, just like that computer game Worms, except nothing like that at all. More like that game Oh Shit What the Eff Are You Thinking, Israel?!. Yeah, just like that one.

Hit the jump for a video of the snake in action.

Continue Reading " Aaaah!: Israeli Army To Deploy Robot Snakes "

May 18 2009 Geekologie Reader Make USB Gluestick

Young Geekologie Reader Izzy Slypig went and made himself a 1GB gluestick flashdrive. It rotates up and out of the container as you twist the bottom. That is all. But, if you've ever wanted to steal computer files from preschool, now's your chance.

Hit the jump for three more shots of the drive in various states of twist.

Continue Reading " Geekologie Reader Make USB Gluestick "

May 5 2009 Superfailure Personal Ads: Consortium Of Evil Seeks Shadowhare's True Identity

That's right, "E" from the Cincinnati-based Consortium of Evil, put up a Craigslist ad seeking Shadowhare's true identity in order to put a stop to the do-gooder and his ragtag bag of spandex-laden friends. Plus, he's offering a hefty $10 reward. Which, even though I promised Shadowhare I wouldn't betray him, is too good to pass up. So, "E":

Shadowhare is -- are you sure you're ready for this? And I will get a $10 bill and not like 40 quarters, right? Okay, Shadowhare is -- can I get you a glass of water or something? No, I'm not stalling, of course I know who he is. I'm just trying to build suspense. Fine. Shadowhare is....a dork. BOOM -- Hamilton me, bitch!

Craigslist

Thanks to egleaves -- OR SHOULD I CALL YOU "E" FROM THE CONSORTIUM OF EVIL!?! egleaves? Okay.

Apr 28 2009 They'll Never Find It!: Powdered Alcohol

I've known about powdered alcohol for a while now because I remember reading an article about powdered wine being available to campers (also great for water into wine tricks!). *HORF* Just kidding, I'd totally drink it. But now it's hitting the mainstream, and soon you'll see powdered alcohol mixes popping up everywhere (read: your teen's bookbag).

No word on price or availability just yet, but rest assured they'll be a ton of companies jumping on the 'sneaking alcohol into church/school' bandwagon. Which, honestly, I've been doing for years. Now I know what you're thinking, "But how, Mr. Geekologie Writer?" And the answer to that, my disciple, is in my stomach. In a tied-off balloon. Next to all the coke.

Product Page
and
Product Page (coming soon)

Thanks to Mars, who once beat the shit out of Mercury for orbiting funny.

Apr 25 2009 Hidden Necktie Camera For Corporate Spying

The $66 Necktie Spycam can discreetly record up to 2GB of company secrets in stunning 352 x 288 resolution, and even comes with a wireless remote so you can start and stop the action from your pocket. Unfortunately, I can honestly say there's not a single thing I'd want to secretly record at work. But that's because I sit in a cubicle with The Superficial and IWatchStuff writers for ten hours a day. I mean, we don't even have a good looking secretary. Or an ugly secretary. We steal internet from the company upstairs and pee in the stairwell. We used to have an intern but he quit and filed a harassment lawsuit against The Superficial Writer. Which, I think we can all agree, should be illegal for unpaid employees. Also, he was a little bitch.

Hit the jump for several more spy shots.

Continue Reading " Hidden Necktie Camera For Corporate Spying "

Mar 15 2009 Guy Loses Finger, Replaces With Flash Drive

Jerry Jalava is a hacker who lost half his left ring finger in a motorcycle accident and decided to replace the digit with a USB drive. So now he sports a rubber half-finger with thumb(!)drive inside. Awesome. Plus, if he ever has to wear a wedding ring it won't count because it's not a real finger. Am I right? Because that's why I cut mine off. Just kidding, I was really high and trying to make a bong in shop class.

Hit the jump for three more shots of the digital digitry.

Continue Reading " Guy Loses Finger, Replaces With Flash Drive "

Mar 5 2009 Wait, Where'd He Go?: Urban Camoflauge

There's a robot war to be fought, and regular camo simply won't do. Enter Urban Camouflage, a new kind of outwear that keeps you safe and hidden from a robot's lifeless stare. Urban camouflage comes in three different styles: boxes, bags, and, um, file folders or something. Hit the jump to see them all. Then make your own and practice hiding. LOOK OUT -- ROBOT BEHIND YOU! Haha -- not really, but I wanted you to realize the importance of the situation. Now go change your pants and make some camo.

Hit it for the rest and a link to a much larger gallery.

Continue Reading " Wait, Where'd He Go?: Urban Camoflauge "

Feb 24 2009 Screw A Picture: VIDEO Of The New Mac Mini

For those of you naysayers that claimed last week's picture of the Mac Mini was Photoshopped, here's the video. So either somebody's good with Premiere as well, or it's the real deal. And speaking of the real deal: your boobs. They almost look too perfect. I'm gonna need to touch them to verify their authenticity. Haha, that's the first time I've ever touched one -- I have no idea! Wait, one more time.

Videos: A Spy Video of the New Mac Mini [uberreview]

Feb 20 2009 Bowtie Camera: Spy Pic Of The New Mac Mini

Is this the rear of the new Mac Mini? Is it just part of an elaborate Photoshop hoax? What's a Mac Mini anyway? Are those real hardwood floors? Did I eat breakfast this morning? Is blogging with the heat exhaust from my laptop blowing on my junk giving me wang cancer?

Answer key: Probably. Probably. Little McDonald's burger. Wood is good, but plastic is fantastic. Sam Adams and Miller Lite. Does a Yeti have two snowballs?

Revealed, the Back End of the Next Mac Mini [uberrreview]

Also, Happy Birthday Cam, the beer's on me! No seriously, I missed my mouth.

Feb 8 2009 Bond Would Be Ashamed: A Lighter Spycam

Ever wanted to covertly record six-hours of the inside of your pants pocket? Well now you can thanks to Ajoka's Real Lighter DVR Lighter Camera Hidden Digital Video Recorder Micro Camera. Jesus, hell of a product title there. The thing costs about $150 wholesale and "discreetly records 640 x 480 or QVGA in AVI format at 30 frames per second and supports microSD up to 8GB. It's got a lithium ion battery for 6 hours of filming and is charged via USB." Interesting, but I've tried smoking before and nope: the girls still run screaming from the locker room.

Cigarette lighter camera shows there's nothing more patriotic than espionage [engadget]

Thanks to Justin, who wasn't really that into Miss Moneypenny but double-oh sixty-nine'd her anyways just to spite Mr. Bond.

Jan 18 2009 Highly Questionable: Steve Jobs Has HIV?

I'm assuming the picture is all part of a really shitty hoax, but who knows.

On January 14, 2009, in an internal Apple memo, Jobs wrote that in the previous week he had "learned that my health-related issues are more complex than I originally thought" and announced a six-month leave of absence until the end of June 2009 to allow him to better focus on his health.

Obviously I hope Steve doesn't actually have HIV, but that Apple finds a cure anyways. Whatever the case may be -- get better, Steve.

Steve Jobs purported HIV medical status results, 2008 [wikileaks]

Thanks to steve (not THE Steve), Jimmy and Malicious Lingerer, who all wish Mr. Jobs the best.

Jan 15 2009 R.I.P. Ricardo Montalban, Patrick McGoohan

Ricardo Montalban and Patrick McGoohan have both passed away.

Ricardo was best known for his roles as Mr. Roarke on television's Fantasy Island and as Khan, the best Star Trek villain ever. He was 88.

Patrick McGoohan played Number 6 in the 1960's spy/trippy-ass show, The Prisoner. He was 80.

Thankfully, I was raised by parents that exposed me to such movies and shows which, unfortunately at the time, I thought were stupid. Only with older age did I realize the error of my youth and see just how filled with awesome they actually were. Thanks mom and dad -- and R.I.P. Ricardo and Patrick, you will be missed.

Hit the jump for a video of each in action, Ricardo as Khan, and Patrick as Number 6.

Continue Reading " R.I.P. Ricardo Montalban, Patrick McGoohan "

Nov 26 2008 Italian Police Find Cellphone Gun: Excuse Me, I Need To Answer This....PEW PEW!

Italian police discovered a .22 caliber cellphone gun during a raid on a Camorra (Naples Mafia) compound.

Fully loaded, the gun's capable of firing four shots in quick succession through the antenna using buttons on the keypad as the trigger. Officers also seized bullet proof vests, drugs, ammunition and thousands of pounds in cash.

Screw the gun, thousands of pounds in cash? Are talking pounds the monetary unit or pounds as in I weigh far too many of them? And if it is the latter, tell me they were all ones. Then give me a stack -- Thanksgiving at the strip club!

Mafia 'mobile phone gun' seized [bbcnews]

Thanks to Georgethefirst, who still rocks a pager gun because he's oldschool.

Oct 2 2008 Cool!: New Phone Can See Through Walls

Apparently software developers are working on a cell phone application that can "see" through walls.

The 'Real Space See-through Mobile' software comes from KDDI's R&D laboratory and Tokyo University and is - you'll not be surprised to learn - still just a prototype.

Although we weren't able to see it in action, we can tell you that it is supposed to be able to judge its surroundings, including those on the other side of a wall, using six different sensors. Three acceleration sensors combine with a similar number of geomagnetic sensors and a GPS chip to work out exactly where the phone is and in what direction it's pointing.

Using some sort of digital voodoo, the software then uses OpenGL to draw on the screen what it has 'sensed' is in the immediate surroundings.

Awesome, locker room spy shots without having to disguise myself as a water fountain!

Bizarre phone lets users see through walls [techradar]

Thanks to Jesus, who's a friend of mine.

Aug 28 2008 Internet Explorer 8 To Feature 'Porn Mode'

Microsoft's Internet Explorer 8 (now out for beta testing) will feature a 'porn mode', aka InPrivate, similar to Safari's 'Private Browsing' feature.

The new InPrivate feature on Internet Explorer 8 -- now in Beta release, and dubbed by many in the Web development community as "porn mode," a nod to its most obvious use -- when enabled automatically conceals sites visited by wiping clean browsing and search history, cookies, form data and passwords. It also clears the browser cache at the end of each session.

Once the setting is chosen, others using the same computer will not be able to see which sites have been accessed, the company said. Other browsers have similar functions, but this one is far more prominent. Although casual users cannot see the previous user's search history, authorities such as the police will be able to access it if necessary.

Man, I don't know. My girlfriend is pretty damn computer savvy. If the cops can get at, she already has. Which means she's probably on to my secret ROTFLBDSM fetish and is itching to stomp my balls to mush in red stilettos.

Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 to Include So-Called 'Porn Mode' Privacy Feature [foxnews]

Thanks to Bryan, who's smart enough to know that watching porn together is an important part of any healthy relationship (excluding relatives and pets).

Aug 21 2008 Spy Watch Hides Video Camera In The Two

The $236 Spy Micro Camera Watch from Brando hides a video camera in the 2 for all sorts of top secret video surveillance missions. The unit packs 2GB of internal memory and can transfer files to a computer via USB cable. Unfortunately, the little bugger only records AVIs in 352 x 288 resolution. Which is pretty shitty. Still, it'll still be good for one thing, won't it? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Super grainy upsleeve videos! We should totally start a fetish site.

Spy Micro Camera Watch [ubergimzo]

Aug 15 2008 British Ministry Of Defense Plans To Start Using Bomb-Dropping UFOs Within The Year

The British Army plans on deploying these little UFOs within the next years to drop bombs and bugs (listening devices, not earwigs) behind enemy lines.

Without any external blades and using a two stroke petrol engine, the unmanned aerial vehicle can enter a building either through a window or door and send back high-quality images on its video camera feed.

With efforts being made to make an electric engine that generates little noise, the Fenstar's inventors, hope it could be quiet enough to snoop into rooms and plant listening devices without being seen or heard. Similarly it could also plant explosive devices to kill the enemy.

Yeah, you definitely need to work on the noise factor, otherwise that thing'll be PEW PEWed out of the sky quicker than you can say "Holy shit, miniature aliens!" But seriously, how come every piece of new technology has to be used for war. Planting bombs? How about planting trees? I'm talking weed here folks. I don't know what that has to do with any of this, but it definitely does now. Am I right? Well let me finish. Say, you gonna eat the rest of that? Okay, so the enemies smoke the weed, right, and then -- seriously, give me a bite, I've got the munchies. Mmm, this is good -- what do you call it? A wet-nap, huh? It's real lemon-y.

Flying saucer that can plant explosives or bugs set for frontline [telegraph]

Thanks to Blumama, from Redpapa.