Nov 16 2009 Gnarly: Two Kite Surfers Jump British Pier

Two extreme sporters used particularly gusty winds today to fulfill their live's dreams: to jump Worthing Pier in West Sussex, England, on kite-boards. It's time to dream bigger, brahs!

Jake Scrace, 25, and Lewis Crathern, 24, had been planning Monday morning's jump for three years but had to wait for perfect weather conditions.

They took off from Goring to the west side of Worthing in gusts of wind that were more than 40mph, and had two helpers on the beach. The pair said the jump was quite hazardous and should not be attempted by amateurs.

Mr Crathern said the jump was "epic".

"It was everything I've lived for - amazing," he said.

Everything you've lived for, nice. And here I've been living to destroy my body with booze and die young. But, you know, jumping over a pier with a kite, that's something too. *snicker* Pussies.

Two kite surfers jump over pier [bbcnews]

Thanks to And and 2MechanicalArms, one of which may or may not be a robot.

Sep 9 2009 Cowboy Stadium's Big Black Screen Of Fail

This is a picture in the Dallas Cowboys stadium of a giant display that is connected to a computer that (and I'm using my Sherlock Holmes-y powers of deduction here) was improperly shut down. Just a guess. Oh, here comes another!: morbidly obese. I know, I'd make a killing at the fair.

Dallas Cowboys Stadium Continues Streak of Giant Screen Fails [gizmodo]

Aug 19 2009 Sport?: Indoor Synchronized Bicycle Riding

I can honestly say I had no idea indoor synchronized bike riding was a real thing. But now that I do, I can't say I'm surprised (I once saw a grown-ass man lounging in a kiddy pool in his front yard, beating himself in the head with an oversized plastic bat). So yeah, I guess what I'm getting at is this: they need sexier uniforms.

Youtube

Thanks to twellve, who once synchronized her fist with some guy's face for looking at her funny. He had a wonk eye, twellve, geez.

Jul 20 2009 Chicago Bulls/Robotic Death Army Conspiracy

Let's not kid ourselves, robots are going to to take over the planet and only farm us for use as bio-fuel and cage fighters. And, apparently there has been arobotic conspiracy involving the Chicago Bulls logo for some time. And to think, I used to want to be like Mike.

When I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no longer see the bull. Just an upside down robot priest...

Why are they doing this? What do these robot overlords want from us? Please, America. Rise up against the cybernetic oppressors before it's too late!

Finally, somebody talking some sense! It's times like these when I know, despite all you naysayers, that I'm not alone. Although, sometimes, I wish I was. Seriously bro, a man needs some private time. Now toss me that National Geographic on your way out, will you? Not that one, the other one. Yeah, with the dino on the cover.

The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy [rationalreality]

Thanks to b00m, who suspects the Celtics logo was created by the Illuminati to help control sports fans.

Jul 10 2009 Notebook Paper Printed With Sports Balls

Trapped in Suburbia, an Amsterdam design firm, came up with this "Play More" concept, which is regular notebook paper on one side, but printed to resemble sports balls on the other. Cuuute! Now I'm not saying I wouldn't get anything done at work if I had sports ball paper wads to play with, because, honestly, I don't do anything now besides compulsively check my email and nap.

Play More: Balled-up paper turns into sporty orb [dvice]

Jun 26 2009 Samurai Swordsman Cuts Baseball In Half

Resident samurai Isao Machii returns, this time cutting a launched baseball in half. Unfortunately, it took him two tries. I could have done it in one, making a second ball obsolete. Rollerblading accident. It unraveled.

Japanese Samurai Slices Pitched Baseball In Half [totalprosports]

Thanks to Dan, who once chopped a thrown bowling ball in half with laser vision.

May 15 2009 Trick BBall Shots: Now With More Shotgun!

In the same vein as the beer pong video, this is a video of a group of guys that call themselves Dude Perfect making a bunch of ridiculous basketballs shots. Mostly they're just shooting from like two miles away, but they do some drive-by shots using a truck as well. But really, you came here to see the shotgun shot, so skip to 0:55.

Well, what did you think? Hoping he'd blow his foot off? Yeah, same. :(

Youtube

Thanks to Harry, who once sunk one from downtown. I don't even know what that means, but he did it.

Apr 27 2009 They Were Everywhere!: ESPN Gets Hacked, Konami Coded, Unicorned And Rainbowed

Somebody hacked the ESPN.com site to accept the Konami code (↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A) and then to start adding unicorns and rainbows to the page every time you hit ENTER. I can attest to it working because two tipsters hit me up with the goods before ESPN caught on. Suffice it to say, I unicorned the hell out of that shit and then cooked pork chops on the grill. Unfortunately, when I came back to write this it had already been fixed. So if you're the one that did it, do it again (but not to Geekologie) so everyone can play with it. Then, I want you all to write your congressman about the unicorn olympics and sick that would be.

Hit the jump for another screenshot of the site from a reader who also wanted to display his bacon loving pride.

Continue Reading " They Were Everywhere!: ESPN Gets Hacked, Konami Coded, Unicorned And Rainbowed "

Apr 3 2009 Par 3: The World's Most Extreme Golf Hole

South Africa's Legends Golf & Safari Resort has a very special hole 19 -- a par 3 with a teebox that sits 1,400 feet above the green. The 630-yard hole requires a helicopter to reach the tee and a ball takes nearly 30 seconds to drop to the green below (provided you don't whiff it).

Playing all 19 holes runs about 2,000 South African rand, or about $220 in American bills, but for that you get the helicopter ride, plus a bunch of souvenir swag and a DVD of your shot.

Sweeeeet. Nailing a hole-in-one on the the 19th nets you a cool $1 million. So, practice your swing and meet me in South Africa (read: you bring radio-controlled balls).

Hit the jump for an amazing video of the hole.

Continue Reading " Par 3: The World's Most Extreme Golf Hole "

Mar 31 2009 Dining Table Doubles As Ping Pong Table

The PING-PONG Dining Table by designer Hunn Wai is a luxurious looking table fit for both eating and beating the old ball around after dinner.

PING-PONG Dining table harks back to the origins of table-tennis with its duality of both being a table fit for dining and playing on. What started off as impromptu after-dinner amusement mimicking tennis in an indoor environment for upper-class Victorians became an international phenomenon with rules and standards. This is an official-sized game table with a DuPont Corian surface CNC machine-routed with French Rococo patterns interjected with Ping-pong iconography filled with gold lacquer, supported by stately hand-lathed timber legs. In the middle, a long rectangular vase filled with dainty blossoms does double-duty as a game-net and a table floral arrangement.

I want it. I don't care how much it costs, I want it. I freaking love myself some table tennis. You think I'm kidding? I sleep with my favorite paddle at night. He has a name, and it's Spanky. What's that, Spanky -- I've been bad? Ooooh, [PRIVATE PRIVATE PRIVATE]. 30-love, Spanky, 30-LOOOOVE!! And I'm finished. Now, could you go tell one of your little athletic sock friends to come in here for a minute?

Hit the jump for several more of the opulence.

Continue Reading " Dining Table Doubles As Ping Pong Table "

Mar 13 2009 People Still Pogo?: The Flybar Pogo Stick

Sorry for the delay folks, I just got back from the doctor for a checkup. Yeah, and you know that whole 'turn your head and cough bit'? Well, the doctor didn't properly anticipate the weight of my nuts and broke his wrist. True story. Anyway, the Flybar is a ridiculously stupid looking pogo stick that allegedly bounces higher than a regular one.

It does this using some seriously strong elastic bands known as rubber thrusters that increase the maximum bounce height to a whopping seven feet six inches. You can snag a Flybar of your own for a whopping $320.

Pfft, forget the Flybar -- I've got four-and-one-quarter inches of rubber thruster for you right here. *squeak squeak squeak* Anybody?

Flybar is one seriously juiced up pogo stick [dvice]

Mar 12 2009 See It In Action!: The UroClub Commercial

We posted on the awesomeness that is the UroClub last year. And now, there's a commercial that explains just how easy and convenient it is to use (read: screw cap off, piss in it, screw cap on). Best quote: "The UroClub comes with a towel and appears that you're just checking out your club." Also, I loved how the last five seconds of the commercial featured three guys standing side by side pissing on a tree and pretending they're not trying to sneak a peak at each others' johnsons. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it common courtesy to leave at least one tree between you and another pisser? Just sayin'.

Gold Club Fail [failblog]

Thanks to iron angel for hitting me with the follow up. Now hit me with those digits, girl! That is, if you are a girl. Otherwise, forget that number I gave you.

Mar 12 2009 Thrill Seekers: A Ski-Jump Bathroom Stall

This is a bathroom stall in some Japanese ski resort that actually serves as an advertisement for a Coca-Cola coffee product (ad on toilet paper holder and back wall). As you can see, it was designed to look like a realistic ski-jump (or dump), complete with skis painted on the ground and everything. You just sit down, close your eyes, and imagine you're atop the mountain, ready to launch yourself off a cliff. Then open them and realize you've thrown yourself off the seat and shit on your leg.

Another picture after the jump.

Continue Reading " Thrill Seekers: A Ski-Jump Bathroom Stall "

Mar 2 2009 Oooh, Yellow-y: Pittsburgh Steelers Case Mod

Somebody went and made a Pittsburgh Steelers computer case modeled after the team's helmet. This is it. It glows yellow to make your room look like you've got a secret gold stash in there or the briefcase from Pulp Fiction. Sadly, I'm not allowed to watch sports anymore because my doctor says they make me lash out at the television. Which is true, I do. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, YOU STUPID GIT!? I SWEAR, IF I COULD FIND YOUR REMOTE I WOULD BEAT YOU WITH IT! HEY, TURN OFF THAT CLOSED CAPTIONING OR....THAT'S IT *bodyslam!* Haha, how'd that feel, you jerk? Great, you're leaking plasma on my new carpet.

Hit the jump to see the keyboard, which is awesome (take a look at the keys).

Continue Reading " Oooh, Yellow-y: Pittsburgh Steelers Case Mod "

Feb 5 2009 Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes

Kamani Hubbard was recently born with 12 fully developed (and functional) fingers and toes. I'm jealous -- I was born with a nubbin next to my left pinky and they cut it off at birth. But the nipple on my back is still there. Nice one, doc.

"It's merely an interesting and beautiful variation rather than a worrisome thing," said Dr. Michael Treece and St. Luke's Hospital Pediatrician. "I would be tempted to leave those fingers in place. I realize children would tease each other over the slightest things, and having extra digits on each hand is more than slight. But imagine what sort of a pianist a 12-fingered person would be. Imagine what sort of a flamenco guitarist. If nothing else, think of their typing skills."

"I just want him to see what greatness will be in store for him," said the baby's proud father.

Greatness, huh -- like being an illustrious blogger? I AM TEH L337 P4WNR OF INTERWEBZ!

A couple more pictures of the mad digits after the jump.

Continue Reading " Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes "

Feb 2 2009 Some Cable Viewers In Arizona Got A Special Adult Film Surprise During The Superbowl

This is a picture of Jesus at the Superbowl. Hey, the man loves facepaint and funny hats. Since he was at the game, he didn't see the porno somebody inserted into the Comcast broadcast of the game in Tucson, Arizona.

With under three minutes left and just after Larry Fitzgerald's heroic comeback(ish) touchdown for the Cardinals, the video feed abruptly switched to a scene from stablemate channel Club Jenna, treating viewers to the sight of seemingly omnipresent porn guy Evan Stone swinging his junk around like a maniac. This interlude lasted about 30 seconds.

Comcast told the Arizona Daily Star that engineers have been "working throughout the night" to figure out what happened, but haven't yet come up with an explanation.

Yeah, wow, I wonder how that happened, Comcast. Definitely gonna have to put your thinking cap on tight to solve this one. Also, I did not post the NSFW video here, but you can see it if you follow the link. I watched it, and, yeah, you can bet your golden ticket I'll be looking for it the next time I enter the curtained mecca at Video Palace.

Prank of the Year: Comcast Tucson Airs Graphic Porn During Super Bowl (NSFW) [gizmodo]

Thanks to Lauren, Louis, Emi and Kokopure, who won't recognize me because I only visit the video store in costume.

Jan 21 2009 FastSkinz: Improve Your Gas Mileage And Achieve That Coveted Golf Ball Look

Let's face it, we all want our cars to look more like golf balls. But what's a guy to do? Simple, have FastSkinz applied! Fastskinz look dimply and also improve your vehicle's gas mileage. Now I don't really want to go into details (I'll leave that for the quote), but I think it has something to do with dimples being super-cute and a highly desirable characteristic in a mate.

Long ago, golf ball manufacturers discovered that a dimpled surface would help a ball to fly farther through the air with less drag, so why not apply the same thinking to cars? The dimples reduce the wake turbulence caused by early separation of the boundary layer...The company claims an 18-20 percent improvement in gas mileage, although independent testing is still needed.

I didn't bother reading that, but I'm pretty confident I was right: golf balls have dimples and require almost no gas, so it only makes sense that a dimply car shouldn't either. Damn, I really am the L337 science guy. F*** you, Bill Nye!

FastSkinz claims to improve your car's mileage using golf ball technology [dvice]

Jan 20 2009 Guy Gets Arm Replaced Luke Skywalker Style

Evan Reynolds, 19, got his hand and part of his arm ripped off in a car accident and has since been fitted with an i-LIMB, a robotic hand developed by an Apple/Star Wars fanboy.

The i-Limb was developed by a Scottish company, Touch Bionics, and has won awards for its innovative technology. The total cost including the hand itself and the fitting is about £30,000.

"It's so sensitive I can grip a bottle of water or a paper cup without crushing it, and even swing a racket. All I have to so is imagine picking something up or gripping it and the fingers and thumb move automatically."

Mr Reynolds said his disability has not stopped him playing sport, his greatest passion, nor has it crushed his spirit.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fake arms and shit, but I'd still be pissed if Evan could throw the ball better than me. And that, dear reader, is only one of the thousands of reasons why I'm going to spend eternity in hell with a piece of glowing charcoal in my ass.

Bionic hand gives student new lease of life [telegraph]

Thanks to MoMan, who fears the day his robotic prosthetic turns on him and rips his penis off.

Jan 11 2009 Crystal Covered Mercedes Is A Piece Of Crap

This is a picture of a Mercedes Benz that's been Bedazzled. It's a "customized Mercedes-Benz SL600, Luxury Crystal Benz, studded with 300,000 Swarovski crystal glass." It was on display at the recent Tokyo Auto Salon 2009 by auto-modder Garson/D.A.D. Oh, did I mention it's a monster piece of gaudy crap? It's true. Fun fact: if you squeeze a Swarovski crystal between your buttcheeks hard enough it turns into pain. Neat!

Luxury Crystal Benz at Tokyo Auto Salon 2009 [chinaview]

Thanks to Flash, who drives a moondust Bentley, but only on Sundays to and from church.

Jan 8 2009 Super Mario Bros. Knocked Off As Best-Selling Video Game Ever, Your Wii Mii Rejoices

That's right folks, Wii Sports is now the best-selling video game ever. And not just because it comes bundled with the Wii, but 100% because it comes bundled with the Wii.

Shocked? Don't be. Unlike most video games that can be bought at retail, Wii Sports comes bundled with the Wii hardware in every territory other than Japan and Korea. In other words, if you bought a Wii, you bought Wii Sports whether you liked it or not (chances are, you liked it). With over 45 million Wiis sold worldwide to date, it's only logical that Wii Sports would start smashing records sooner or later.

And before you brand Wii Sports a false champion due to being bundled with hardware, consider that Super Mario Bros. was also sold as a bundle with the original Nintendo Entertainment System during its mid-80's heyday.

Well hooray. More importantly, did anybody notice that I Photoshopped Mario's fingers so he's now holding up two (for second place!) instead of one? Because I did that. I also took the pinky off his other hand. Gambling debt.

Wii Sports is best-selling game ever [yahoo]

Thanks to D.K., who may or may not still attend anger management classes for all the barrel throwing.