Nov 13 2009 VIDEO Of Bugatti Veyron Crash Into Marsh. Oh, And I Called It -- No Low-Flying Pelican
Apparently some kids happened to videotape the $1.6 million Bugatti Veyron crash from the other day. And, surprise surprise, there was no "low-flying pelican". Nope, just a man playing with himself in one of the world's most expensive production vehicles. Way to go, champ.
Hit the jump for a video of the car getting towed out.
Nov 12 2009 You're Doing It Wrong: Super-Rich Idiot Moron Drives $2 Million Bugatti Veyron Into Marsh
An unnamed member of the Illuminati recently drove his Bugatti Veyron into a Texas marsh because he's stupid and can't drive.
The man, who refused to give his name, was looking at real estate in Galveston.
About 3 p.m. a low-flying pelican distracted him as he traveled north on Interstate 45 just south of the hurricane levee near Omega Bay.The man jerked the wheel, dropped his cell phone, and the car's front tire left the frontage road and entered a muddy patch, which foiled his attempt to maneuver away from the lagoon.
The Veyron's powerful engine gurgled like an outboard motor for about 15 minutes before it died.
Low-flying pelican? Really? That's the BEST you could come up with? No, I propose this man was playing a little tickle the moneybags and freaked when he realized he was gonna make a small cash deposit on the leather seats. Watson -- my pipe, please.
$2 million Bugatti crashes into lagoon [galvestondailynews]
Thanks to Demon Spawn, who may or may not have horns and a tail.
Oct 28 2009 Haha, Sucker!: Bugatti Veyron Gets The Boot
I like making fun of ridiculously rich people because it makes me feel better about not knowing where I'm sleeping tonight. Take this Bugatti Veyron owner, who thought he could park his land-jet wherever the hell he wanted. Think again, Richie Rich! But seriously, you'd think somebody who can afford a $1.2 million car could also afford to hire a band of mercenaries to hover above the thing in a helicopter and scares off parking enforcement with a little friendly fire. I swear, no class.
Bugatti Veyron Illegal Parking FAIL [totalprosports]
Thanks to Asbo, who only parks his van in front of schools. No, that's not creepy.
Sep 19 2009 That's Classy: Truckvette Spotted At Walmart
That has got to be the fastest looking truck I've ever seen. And I saw a truck shot out of a cannon before, so I know. Still, needs truck nuts.
TRUCK-VETTE [peopleofwalmart]
Thanks to Alan, who once drove a truck to the moon and did donuts in a crater. Bitchin'!
Jun 27 2009 MUTANT!: Motorcycle Sidecar Is Actual Car
Francois Knorreck spent ten years and $20,000 to create this "Snaefell", a motorcycle with a sidecar made from an actual car. It looks pretty damn sleek. Not as sleek as my mane, but I use women's haircare products. Also, hygiene producst. What? I can have a cycle too!
Hit the jump for several more shots of the confusion.
Continue Reading " MUTANT!: Motorcycle Sidecar Is Actual Car "
Apr 3 2009 Elevator Garages 'Must Have' For The Rich
We already featured a Lamborghini elevator garage a while ago, now here comes one with a Porsche. Apparently London's rich are going apeshit over these things, and buying them faster than Cardock can build them.
The £40,000 (~$59,000) parking spots can be hidden beneath a flowerbed, lawn, or even another parking space.Owners simply press a button on a keyring to raise they car out of the ground much like the rocket launching apparatus in Thunderbirds.There is already a four month waiting list to get the sci-fi style parking space installed.
Wow, that sounds like an enormous waste of money. Seriously, I suggest you rich asshats on the waiting list go find some other idiotic way to blow your money. I mean it, go! Haha -- now who's first in line, bitches?!
Pop-up garage is latest London must-have [newslite]
Thanks to towhee, who has a whole elevator garage for her shoes. You know, because women like shoes.
Jan 26 2009 Miniature Vroom Vroom: A Lamborghini ATV
These miniature looking Lamborghini ATVs by Liberty Walk Japan was recently on display at the Tokyo Auto Salon. They're available for sale too, provided you've got $20,000 to drop on an ATV (NTV?) that can't really tackle any terrain whatsoever minus really smooth pavement. Still, you should buy one, I want to steal your rims.
Hit the jump for a couple more of the mini-cruiser.
Continue Reading " Miniature Vroom Vroom: A Lamborghini ATV "
Jan 24 2009 Who Knew?: Vader Drives A Sports Car
First we discovered Lotus Exiges are standard issue for Imperial Stormtroopers, and now that Vader blasts around in a little Ariel Atom. What next, JarJar in a septic truck? Or maybe an Ewok in a fur-covered Caddy with fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview? Oooh -- and a Princess Leia hula girl dancing in the back window. Which, be honest, the thought of just gave you a boner. Just saying, now accepting pre-orders.
Hit the jump for a picture of Vader's Stormtrooper pit crew, the identity of the Lotus Stormtrooper revealed (SPOILER: it's a hot chick!), and a Stormtrooper dryhumping his girlfriend.
Jan 22 2009 Stormtroopering Pays More Than Expected
This is a picture of an Imperial Stormtrooper driving a Lotus Exige. And you know, it really got me thinking -- why am I hanging with this ragtag bag of dicks in the Rebel Alliance -- these guys don't pay shit. I mean, Jesus, I have to use public transportation. Just saying, I look good in white.
Storm Trooper Trades In Speeder Bike For Something A Little More Agile [jalopnik]
Thanks to ZOMBIE BOB, who allegedly ate Ewok brain and loved it.
Dec 31 2008 Google Streets: Porsches & People Pissing
This is a Google Maps Street View of what is allegedly a Porsche prototype being tested in Colorado. Hit the jump for another picture of several different cars, all being covered as the Google Street View van rolls by soliciting children with the promise of free Chupa Chups. And, as a special added bonus, there's a Street View image of some woman pissing behind a car in Madrid, Spain. Because, just like the country song, "sangria makes you piss behind subcompacts".
Hit it.
Continue Reading " Google Streets: Porsches & People Pissing "
Dec 11 2008 6-Wheeled Sports Car Makes It To Production
The Covini Six Wheeler (C6W) needs a new name but does have six wheels. It looks kind of like a Ferrari whose mother downed too much ethanol during pregnancy. So why the six wheels?
The Covini Six Wheeler takes its engineering inspiration from the 1976 Tyrell P34 race car which had two pairs of smaller front wheels that were intended to increase air penetration and have a smaller frontal area effectively reducing drag.
The ideas behind the Tyrell P34 don't necessarily translate to the C6W, though Ferruccio Covini, the company's founder, gives the following reasons for creating his modern-day six-wheeler:• Less risk of front tires deflating
• Less risk of aquaplaning
• Better braking
• Better grip
• Better comfort
• Better absorption of frontal impact
• Better stupid looking
• Better support for fatties
• Better vroom vroom (1.5x)
• Better why the f*** not?
• Better not steal my rims!
• Better to run you over with
• Better not pout, better not cry
• Or Santa will fondle you in your sleep
• The elves will take pictures
• And they will wind up on the internet
• Rule 34
Hit the jump for several more pictures and two videos, the first of which is track footage, the second of which is still photos.
Continue Reading " 6-Wheeled Sports Car Makes It To Production "
Nov 24 2008 That's What I Call Shiny: A Chrome Bugatti
We've seen chromed cars in the past, but quite frankly (can I call you Frankly?), those just weren't as shiny as this Bugatti Veyron. Maybe they went for the economy chrome job, but whatever the case, they lacked the mirror-like sheen of this summabitch. I mean, you could snort drugs off the hood of this thing. You know, or a CD case. But if you are doing your drugs off the back of a cracked CD case, chances are you probably don't have the money to be doing drugs. And your connection probably sucks. I guess what I'm getting at is this: you're snorting laxatives.
Hit the jump for four more of the shiny-shiny.
Continue Reading " That's What I Call Shiny: A Chrome Bugatti "
Nov 12 2008 Sharpie Lamborghini For Sale on eBay
Remember the Sharpie Lamborghini posted a couple months ago? Well it's back, and this time on eBay. That's right folks, for the low, low price of somewhere between $255,000 and $289,950, this marvel of modern drawing techniques can be yours.
This is a 'ONE OF A KIND ' Gallardo Coupe: The car has been featured on MTV 'My sweet 16 with 'Timbaland'. This car is the most Famous Gallardo ever made for the U.S. market. It took over 1000 hours of art work done by hand to complete this incredible masterpiece. This car is still on M.S.O. so you would be the first owner if you win the auction.
So, which one of you readers is gonna buy it? And, when you do, will you take me for a spin? Gas, grass, or ass, nobody rides for free -- I live by that creed. *wink* Ass.
Hit the jump for several more pictures and a link to the auction.
Nov 5 2008 The Scorpion: A 40-MPG, 450-Horsepower Hydrogen-Powered Arachnid -- That Stings
Okay it doesn't really sting, it's just a freaking car. Oh wait, maybe it does.
The Scorpion gets its sting from a hydrogen delivery system the company calls H2GO. While cars like the Honda FCX Clarity and Chevrolet Equinox use hydrogen fuel cells to drive electric motors, the Scorpion uses electrolysis to convert water into gaseous hydrogen. The hydrogen is mixed with 91-octane gasoline to improve the fuel economy and reduce the emissions of the car's 3.5-liter internal combustion engine.
Ronn Motors is confident that the sexy Scorpion will top 200 mph. The chrome-moly chassis and carbon-fiber body surrounds a twin-turbo 3.5-liter V6 in a car that weighs just 2,200 pounds. The engine was sourced from Acura -- it's the same mill found in the TL Type S, albeit turbocharged -- and mated to a six-speed gearbox. The car will set you back $150,000, and if 450 ponies isn't enough, another $100 grand will get you a tweaked version with another 150 horsepower.
Oh man. I want one. Badly. Really badly. Just imagine: you're cruising along in your Scorpion, when you decide to swing by the BK drive-thru for a #4 with a Coke. ZOMG I'm making myself moister than a towelette. Just kidding, I don't even know what that means. Or do I?
Hit the jump for a couple more worthwhile pictures.
Continue Reading " The Scorpion: A 40-MPG, 450-Horsepower Hydrogen-Powered Arachnid -- That Stings "
Oct 27 2008 Just Pull Over: A Lamborghini Police Car
Lamborghini, for some unknown reason, gave the Italian State Police a ridiculously policed-out 560hp 5.2-liter V10 Gallardo. I suspect it has something to do with not uncovering their illegal business practices, but that's purely my own speculation (and 100% fact). I'm not sure which officer gets to drive the car, but if I had to guess, I'd say they all fight over it. Like little girls. Little Italian girls with accents and mustachios.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures, a video, and a link to an even massive-r gallery.
Continue Reading " Just Pull Over: A Lamborghini Police Car "
Oct 23 2008 Maybe Someday: A Lamborghini Garage
I've never felt poorer in my entire life.
Youtube
Thanks to Andrew, who, along with robot apocalypse tipster Nolan, is taking turns kicking me in the nuts today.
Oct 22 2008 Man Builds Lamborghini Countach In Basement, Has To Dig It Out When Complete
Ten years ago Ken Imhoff started building a Lamborghini Countach in his basement.
A little history on the car. 100% hand crafted Countach out of aluminum and a space tube frame. All aluminum body formed on a wooden buck using an English wheel. My own design space frame with Corvette hubs and custom A-arms. Mated to a ZF-25 5 speed. S.S. 180 degree headers GT40 design "bundle of snakes" Boss 351 bored stroked to 377 515hp 48 IDA Webbers. One off TransAm BBS rim shells to my own center section wheels. Custom brake package to fit 16" wheels. Fuel cell, twin aluminum sprint car (Howe) radiators. All aluminum interior with leather dash, Momo seats and 5 point harness, on board halon fire bottle. quick release steering wheel. Low to the ground at 2700 lbs. 100% body correct by using a real Countach to measure from. Over 10 years in the making.
And now, it's complete. The only problem is, Ken's basement has no outside access. So what do he do? Simple -- made some. He actually hired a contractor to dig down to basement level, destroy a basement wall, and pull the car out. Awesome! I guess I should have thought about that before I started building my rocketship.
UPDATE: F*** it, I'm blasting that mother straight through the roof.
Hit it for a bunch of build pics, and a couple showing how they got the car out.
Continue Reading " Man Builds Lamborghini Countach In Basement, Has To Dig It Out When Complete "
Oct 17 2008 Modular Plastic Vroom Vroom: A LEGO Ferrari
Apparently LEGO made a Ferrari to promote LEGO World in Holland. Per the google-y translated article:
The Lego tends to be quite creative in their communication. Since the adhesive ground up operations in buildings. To promote the event Lego World in Holland was no different. The presenter of children's programs Leon Krijgsman parade through the streets of Amsterdam with a Ferrari made of Lego.
The "toy" in actual size was mounted with 80 thousand pieces, celebrates the anniversary of the famous brand of toys and will be exposed in the event which runs from 16 to 23 this month.
That made no sense but who cares, it's a LEGO Ferrari with 80,000 pieces. Wow. But the question remains: does it run? Ha, of course it does, it's built out of freaking LEGO.
Hit the jump for two more.
Continue Reading " Modular Plastic Vroom Vroom: A LEGO Ferrari "
Oct 14 2008 No Vroom Vroom?: An Electric Porsche
German Porsche modder RUF Automobile GmbH went and dropped a 204hp electric motor into a 911. It's powered by 96 lithium ion batteries, can hit 60 in less than 7 seconds, tops out at 160 , and has a 180-mile range. All in all, not too shabby. Who'd have thunk it -- an electric Porsche! What's next, electric golf carts? Ha, that'll be the day.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures, including a couple of the battery arrays.
Oct 7 2008 FAKE!: Alleged Smart Car Body Kits
Well folks, it looks like today is Smart Car day on Geekologie. This here is an alleged Smart Car with a Porsche body kit. Hit the jump to see Corvette, Ferrari, and Lamborghini models. Needless to say, they're all fake and been Photoshopped. FAKE! FRIST! FIRSTIES! SECOND? THIRD YOU STINKING ASSHOLES!
Hit it for the rest.
