Nov 17 2009 Some Superhero You Are!: Spiderman Busted

Well folks, this just goes to show you can only dangle from rooftops staring into women's bedroom windows for so long before the boys in blue take notice. For shame, Spidey, for shame. And, on a completely and totally unrelated note that has absolutely nothing to do with this story: I have a used repelling harness for sale.

Spiderman getting arrested [jonahray]

Oct 16 2009 I Like: Superheroes In Old War Photographs

This is a little gallery of old photographs with pictures of superheroes Photohaxored in. I thought they were pretty neat, but perhaps you don't. And maybe that's the fundamental difference between you and I. Well, besides how handsome and smart you are. Did I say you? I meant me. It's true, one time I looked in a mirror and it shattered itself because it was so jealous of my handsomosity (and word wizardry). I jest -- I was so ugly I put my fist through it. REFLECT ON THAT, YOU STUPID MIRROR! Also, my hand bled and this nancy Edward begged to lick it but I wouldn't let him. Just sayin', I can be a lamb too.

Hit the jump for three more, including a little Fidel action.

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Sep 21 2009 Reptilian Crime Fighters: Spiderman Lizards

Apparently Spiderman fans are getting their radioactive panties in a bunch over Agamas, lizards with a coloration that resembles that of the superhero. Best reason ever to get a pet? Probably not.

The vivid red-and-blue colouring is almost uncannily like that of the Marvel superhero, and comic book fans have been flocking to exotic pet shops to snap them up.

Native to Kenya, the rock agama (Agama mwanzae) is unable to throw webs, but can change colour - the brightly coloured males will change brown at night or if frightened. They can also run on their hind legs, and - like Spidey - can scale vertical walls.

As many of you may know, I was an amateur herpetologist in a past life. So I like lizards. BUT NOT TROUSER SNAKES! Not speaking of which, did I ever tell you about the time I put a poison dart frog in my mouth? Because that was the end of that life. The time after I tried stealing a grizzly bear's cub!

Hit the jump for another shot of the red and blue bastard.

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Sep 2 2009 He's A Little Clingy: Spiderman Backpack

This $45 backpack carries a reasonable amount of stuff and makes it look like you're giving miniature Spiderman a piggyback ride. Or, if you're a real pervert like tipster Ste, like he's trying to get his spidey senses tingling from behind. Which, eeew -- that stuff that comes out of his hands is bad enough. I jest, you know I love it when you spray me with that shit, Spidey!

Product Site
via
Spider-Man Backpack [likecool]

Thanks to Ste and naas, who both got their Wonder Woman backpacks taken away for improper treatment.

Jul 24 2009 Man Climbs Building With DIY Vacuum Gloves

This is a video of inventor Jem Stansfield climbing the exterior of a BBC building to show off a pair of vacuum gloves he made out of an old vacuum. Amazingly, he gets to the top, but I question how much assistance he got from the rope holder. Also, if those gloves are that strong and made out of a crappy old vacuum, imagine Dyson-powered vacuum gloves. It would suck the paint off a building! And, God willing, I would eat those paint chips.

Man climbs building with vacuum gloves [bbcnews]

Thanks to Ross, who once made vacuum boots but didn't tie them tight enough and plummeted eight stories.

May 11 2009 Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat: Spiderman Fail

This is a video of Spiderman hurting himself in front of a bunch of children and being played off by a cat on a keyboard. Trust me, it'll all make sense after you watch it. Just kidding, it won't ever make sense. But it will always make awesome.

Youtube

Thanks to Joemo, who once found Spiderman trapped in his own web and furiously pleasuring himself to a daddy longlegs.

Mar 25 2009 Real Life Spider-Man Rescues Autistic Boy

A quick-thinking Thai fireman came to the rescue recently when he dressed as Spider-Man in order to coerce an 8-year old autistic student off a high ledge.

Teachers at a special needs school in Bangkok alerted authorities on Monday when an autistic pupil, scared of attending his first day at school, sat out on the third-floor ledge and refused to come inside, a police sergeant told AFP.

Despite teachers' efforts to beckon the boy inside, he refused to budge until his mother mentioned her son's love of superheroes, prompting fireman Sonchai Yoosabai to take a novel approach to the problem.

The rescuer dashed back to his fire station and made a quick change into a Spider-Man costume before returning to the boy, he said.

"I told him Spider-Man is here to rescue you, no monsters are going to attack you and I told him to walk slowly towards me as running could be dangerous," Somchai told local television.

The boy came to the masked hero without hesitation (I hope no candy vanners are reading this). Sonchai says the fire department keeps Spider-Man and Ultraman costumes to "liven up school fire drills", and also, "freaky deaky sex". Well PEW PEW to you too, Bangkok Fire Dept.

Thai fireman in 'spider-man' rescue of autistic boy [yahoonews]

Thanks to Joemo, Sam and Jason, who ask, "where were you, Iron Man?"

Mar 16 2009 Real Life Spider-Man: Paralyzed Man Walks Again Thanks To Brown Recluse Spider Bite

David Blancarte lost the use of his legs nearly 21 years ago in a motorcycle accident. And now, thanks to the bite of brown recluse, he can walk again.

I'm here for a spider bite. I didn't know I would end up walking," says David.

A nurse noticed David's leg spasm and ran a test on him. "When they zapped my legs, I felt the current, I was like 'whoa' and I yelled," he says. He felt the current and the rush of a renewed sense of hope. "She says,'your nerves are alive. They're just asleep'," explained David.

Five days later David was walking.

David basks in his glory and gives a ray of hope to other hoping to walk again. The 48-year-old former boxer and dancer is taking it in stride, knowing his best days are still ahead.

David's dream is to see his 14-year-old twin daughters grow up and get married so he can walk them down the aisle and have that first dance.

Well ain't that some cockle-warming Peter Parker/John Locke shit! To tell you the truth, I haven't been having much luck with my manhood lately, and I did see a black widow out by my treefort yesterday....

IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!!

UPDATE: And it just fell off. Great.

Hit the jump for a news report video for those of you who can't read.

Continue Reading " Real Life Spider-Man: Paralyzed Man Walks Again Thanks To Brown Recluse Spider Bite "

Feb 23 2009 Yay, Get Your Own Spider Drawing T-Shirt

Like the saying goes, "a picture's worth a thousand words, but a picture of a spider should be worth at least $233.95". I couldn't agree more. And now you can own a t-shirt with the iconic drawing of a spider for only $14.50. Or, you can print this picture out, tape it to an undershirt, and effectively save yourself $14.50. Now I'm not saying that's what you should do, I'm just saying that's what I did -- and I'm a fashionista. Suck it, Karl Lagerfeld, you....you are creepy.

Product Page

Thanks to jigga, who wears a scorpion-drawing shirt, but it just doesn't have the same appeal. It does, however, have pit-stains.

Jan 27 2009 Spider Robot Shoots Webs, Catches Criminals

This spider-inspired robot apparently shoots webs to catch criminals in the act of cowering like little girls. Per translated German:

Which like an ugly remote controlled car is in really an awake robot, which is to catch burglars, looks harmless. The Japanese robot manufacturer Tmsuk and the safety enterprise Alacom developed the prototype of the T-34 of robot mentioned.

I have no idea what that means but I think what they were trying to get at is if this thing actually catches you, you're probably the worst burglar ever. Or a magic goat. Probably a magic goat.

Spiderman-Robocop fängt Menschen [stern]

Thanks to Dirk, who once had the opportunity to prevent a liquor store robbery but used the opportunity to guzzle a bottle of wine while the clerk was distracted.

Jan 10 2009 Barack Obama To Star In Spider-Man Comic

Did you know Barack Obama collected Spider-Man comics? I didn't. But since he is such a big fan, Marvel artists have decided to feature Barack in a special inaugural issue.

Mr Obama's fan status was revealed by his campaign team, who released 10 little-known facts about the Democrat. "Right at the top of that list was he collected Spider-Man comics"

In the six-page story, an impostor poses as the new president on inauguration day in a dubious attempt to cop a ride in the new presidential limo. That's when Spidey has to swing in and bust the proverbial web.

When an imposter turns up, Spider-Man leaps into action, greeting Mr Obama with the words: "Hiya, prez-elect! Loved ya in the debates."

Hiya, prez-elect? Loved ya in the debates? WTF, Spiderman? Next time I think it's best if you just just keep your mouth closed. And also, the zipper of that costume -- I think I saw your Spidey-bits.

Obama to star in Spider-Man comic [bbcnews]

Thanks to Jennaiii and Canoboy, who are immune to spider bites because they were both bit by black widows in utero.

Dec 16 2008 Scientists Find World's Oldest Spider Web (Until Another, Much Older One Is Found)

Scientists have found what they believe to be the world's oldest and least circular spider web, encased in a piece of amber. It's allegedly 140 million years-old.

"It's not a striking, perfect web," Braddy said. "(But) this seems to confirm that spiders were building orb webs back in the early Cretaceous" -- the geological term for the period of time between 145.5 and 65.5 million years ago when dinosaurs and small mammals shared the earth.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? If it's, "let's clone whatever that spider bit and have sex with it", then you are. High five for being on the same page.

Oldest Spider Web Found, Scientist Says [aolnews]

Thanks to Pat, who doesn't get bitten by spiders because he bites them. That's pretty freaking sick, Pat.

Dec 5 2008 Geekologie Reader Gets Credit For Spider

Geekologie reader Dustin got partial credit (2/5 points!) for pulling the ol' picture of a spider trick on an algebra test in college. Good looking, Dustin! It's just too bad your teacher's a dick -- I think we can all agree that spider's easily a 3-pointer.

Thanks again Dustin, may all your future math tests be arachnid-y.

Nov 20 2008 7-Legged Spider Drawing Sells On eBay

Remember my personal hero David Thorne and his seven-legged spider drawing that was idiotically refused as payment for a $233.95 bill? Well the spider just sold on eBay -- for $10,000. And guess who won? This guy. *pointing at self* Ow, my eye. But yeah, I thought about just printing out a copy of the drawing, but then decided that would be immoral. Because I don't steal things -- except women's hearts! I keep them in a cooler full of ice and sell them on the black market. "Hearts! Get your hearts here! Also, ice cold beer."

UPDATE: Somebody on eBay is now selling accessories for seven and eight-legged spider drawings. Hit the jump to see their Santa hat and Buddhist's robe.

Continue Reading " 7-Legged Spider Drawing Sells On eBay "

Nov 13 2008 Good Idea!: Man Submits Drawing Of Spider Instead Of Payment For Overdue Account

David Thorne didn't have the $233.95 to pay an overdue account. So what did he do? What any other budding young genius would do, he submitted a picture of a spider he drew instead. Unfortunately, Jane Gilles, who is clearly a mega-bitch to the nth degree, wouldn't accept it. So what happened next? Hit the jump to find out. But I'll give you a hint: time travel! And also, David's account not getting paid.

You really want to read the rest, so hit it.

EDIT: Here's the original page which provides a little more info.

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Oct 31 2008 Happy Halloween!: A Scary Dancing Robot

Ah, Halloween. The holiday where I dress up like a ninja turtle and all the girls dress up down to see who can wear the least amount of clothes possible. And they still have the nerve to tell me to watch where I'm swinging my nunchucks (I'm Michelangelo, damnit!). Well, to herald in this holiest of holy days, here comes a scary video of a dancing hexapod robot. Yeah, one with a freaking human head on top. With glowing red eyes. Just imagine the creepy little bastard scuttling across the floor and humping your leg tonight when you're trying to get your spook on. Oh, oh no --my own vivid imagery just ruined my Halloween pants.

Horrifyingly wonderful hexapod dancing [hackaday]

Thanks Monique and Jason, I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight.

Sep 3 2008 Robotic Spider To Destroy Liverpool On Friday

A 50-foot robotic spider, which has been sitting dormant on the side of an office building since last night, is going to come alive on Friday and destroy the everliving shit out of Liverpool.

Weighing 37 tons and standing 50ft high, the spider is currently clinging to the side of Concourse Tower in the city.

The huge insect spotted in Liverpool is in fact entirely mechanical and part of a new piece of street theater organized to mark its year as Capital of Culture.

It is thought the insect will come down from its current position tomorrow and then 'wake up' on Friday before starting to explore the city.

Tens of thousands of visitors are expected in Liverpool over the three days to try and see the mechanical arachnid.

Make that tens of thousands of soon to be dead visitors. Seriously, would you rather take your chances trying to catch a glimpse of a giant robotic spider or, I dunno, live? You're still gonna go see it aren't you? Haha, I can read you like a graphic novel.

Hit the jump for several more pictures of the last thing a buch of Liverpudlians will ever see.

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Sep 3 2008 Yummy!: More Delicious Cakeologie

I know what you're thinking, "damn yo, it's about time for some more delicious fondant". Well I couldn't agree with you more. And to herald in our rubbery new overlord come these wicked cakes from Flickr user chocmocakes. As you can see, that's Rafael there, complete with fondant mask and teeth. Hit the jump for some even more amazingness, including LEGO, Venom, Dora The Exploder, a bowl of cereal and a MUST SEE Nightmare Before Christmas. I swear, I never get tired of cakes. But I do get tired of turkey. Damn you tryptophan!

Hit the jump to see the rest.

Continue Reading " Yummy!: More Delicious Cakeologie "

Aug 4 2008 Spiderman Costume Replica On eBay

There's a pretty realistic looking Spiderman costume for sale on eBay right now. I'd bid on it, but the seller doesn't look very trustworthy (81.3% positive feedback). So if you do bid, be warned: they'll probably only send you a stained bedsheet.

This costume is one of the best replicas out there. 1 piece suit just like the movie. Made of great quality stretch lycra which has had the movie pattern printed directly into the fabric. Printed through process called dye-sublimation. Fabric color saturation is great and very movie realistic. Features muscle shading and brick pattern on the whole suit. Has complete brick pattern in the blues which is in most prints and replicas is lost in the darker shaded areas.

Eye frames are made from gun metal gray resin. The lenses are 3 layers. a layer of clear plastic, a layer of super fine metal mesh, and another layer of clear plastic. The also have an airbrushed gradient around the edge to give that "movie look".

Photographs great. 3D Webs are 2 layers of acrylic. 1st black then silver laid over the top to give a movie accurate look. Features 3 zippers. 2 that go down and meet in the center under the belt and one on the back of the head. Aqua shoe sewn in would fit someone w/ around size8-11 shoe size. Suit made to fit someone around 5'7'-5'11 w/ an average build.

The bidding is already at $1,000 with more than six days remaining, so it's probably gonna go for a small fortune. Which, honestly, isn't worth it just to have a cool Halloween costume. For that kind of money the damn thing better let me crawl up buildings. Or at the very least make my Spidey senses tingle. I'm talking about my loins. Now that would be a Spiderman suit. Now who here knows how to sew?

Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures, the last of which you have to see, along with a link to the auction.

Continue Reading " Spiderman Costume Replica On eBay "

Apr 23 2008 Spider-Man Tattoo Sadly Lacks Spidey-Sense

This is a wicked Spider-Man inspired tattoo that somebody got. It was made to look like the guy's skin is ripped and he's really Spider-Man underneath. There's a picture after the jump with his arms done in a similar fashion. I would have gone for the full-body suit myself, but that's because I'm what's known in the (call center customer service) biz as "a hardcore emmer effer" (I once told an elderly caller to "put that in your donut cushion and sit on it"). Just kidding, I tried to get a tattoo once but passed out. It wasn't wetting my arm that got to me, it was the "press firmly for 30 seconds" part.

Another picture of Spider Man arms, along with a link to the most ridiculous tattoos ever, after the jump.

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