Oct 30 2009 NASA's Ares Rocket Breaking Sound Barrier
This is a beautiful shot (super high-res version HERE) of NASA's Ares rocket taken earlier this week just as it broke the sound barrier. Pretty awesome, huh? Just imagine if you were sitting on top. WHEEEEE!!
What you're looking at is called a "shock egg," or the Prandtl-Glauert singularity, or a shockwave that compresses air and forces the vapor out of it. You see this kind of stuff a lot in photographs trailing behind fighter jets, but it's especially awesome when it happens to rockets. According to NASA, the shot was taken by one Scott Andrews, who used a Canon of some sort.
Hell yes, shock egg. Now tell me -- which do you think came first: the supersonic chicken or the shock egg? Trick question! Dinosaurs.
Sep 9 2009 Sticking It To The Man: Guy Dons Monkey Mask To Avoid Paying Speeding Fines
Guys, I know I said I'd have the haiku graded by last night, but I still have 200 to go. Then, I have to choose 4 out of the top 100 I've pulled aside. I WILL DO IT TONIGHT, I PRETTY PRETTY PROMISE. That said, some jackass is speeding around Phoenix, AZ wearing a monkey mask to avoid paying speeding-camera fines. To date, he's already been sent 37 tickets.
"Not one of them there is a picture where you can identify the driver," said Dave Vontesmar, a flight attendant who works at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. "The ball's in their court. I sent back all these ones I got with a copy of my driver's license and said, 'It's not me. I'm not paying them.' "
"We watched him four different times put the monkey mask on and put the giraffe-style mask on," Officer Dave Porter told AZcentral.com. "Based on surveillance, we were positive that Vontesmar was the driver.""It's obviously a revenue grab," he said of the new photo-enforcement program. "They're required by law to ID the driver of the vehicle. If they can't identify the driver or the vehicle by the picture, what are they doing to identify the driver?"
Really -- monkey and giraffe masks? Save 'em for the bedroom, Dave.
Man Dons Mask for Speed-Camera Photos [aolnews]
Thanks to Pat, who only drives in style -- on the sidewalk with a grocery bag on his head.
Jul 13 2009 Who Was Right?: 3 PSA's From The Future
Not to toot my own horn or anything but *DOOT DOODLE DOOT* I was right and all you naysayers were wrong. This is a short clip of three different PSA's (public service announcements) that somebody recorded from the future that prove my theories about robots, hyper speed and time machines. Watch them. Then, watch this. WAIT WAIT WAIT WRONG DVD DON'T WATC....THAT'S NOT ME I SWEAR! I DON'T EVEN HAVE A GEEKOLOGIE WRITER TATTOO. Just please just turn it off before you get to the alligator pool float part that I, uh, only know about because....shit.
WARNING! Do Not Talk To Robots! [tvmunchies]
Thanks to Rodger, who was the one who traveled back from the future to warn us all. Good lookin', mind if I borrow your keys for a second? Literally, a second. Isn't time travel great?!
Jun 2 2009 Winner Of Baby Race Crawls For Laptop
First of all, I bet on baby races all the time ($40 on the bald one with a dirty diaper). And secondly, Kajus Aukščionis recently won a Lithuanian baby race and is a super fast crawler. Not as fast as me, but I have a special skill set. But what gets young Kajus crawling so fast? Laptops. The little haxor loves those things and bolts to them whenever he sees one. It's true, I heard one time he shat through his diaper in Best Buy he was so excited.
Lithuanian Baby Racing Champion Mired In Performance-Enhancing Laptop Scandal [gizmodo]
Thanks to ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, who may or may not have fallen asleep at the keyboard.
Apr 20 2009 Stephen Hawking Battling Infection, 'Very Ill'
Stephen Hawking, genius extraordinaire and a personal hero of mine (I heard he once piloted his wheelchair through a blackhole unscathed), has been hospitalized and is reportedly "very ill".
[Cambridge University] said Hawking has been fighting a chest infection for several weeks, and was being treated at Addenbrooke's Hospital in Cambridge, the university city north of London.
"Professor Hawking is very ill," said Gregory Hayman, the university's head of communications. "He is undergoing tests. He has been unwell for a couple of weeks."
Geekologie wishes Stephen a speedy recovery. No, a lightspeedy recovery. Get well soon, Dr. Hawking.
Stephen Hawking hospitalized, reported very ill [yahoonews]
Mar 28 2009 Wow, Surprisingly Doesn't Work: Paying A Speeding Ticket With Urine-Soaked Coins
Michael Harold Lynch received a $206 speeding ticket for doing 54 in a 35MPH work zone. Outraged (I was only 19 over!), he got $206 in small coins, put them in a bag, and pissed all over them. Then he sent the bag in as payment. Shockingly, it wasn't accepted.
Turns out Lynch didn't break any laws - it's not necessarily illegal to mail bodily fluids. The pee-and-pennies were sent back to Lynch - COD, in fact - with a note that said they couldn't be taken because "the pile of coins emitted a strong, pungent odor of stale urine." Lynch responded by sending a check made out to another agency, which was returned, then he sent a check for the wrong amount. Now he's on the hook for $271 because his payment is late.
Wow, Michael. You sure showed them, didn't you? Now you only owe $65 more than before, not including the shipping and COD payments you already made. You are such the prankster! And also, under arrest. Up against the wall, buddy -- now spread those legs. *violently tasers Michael in the taint* Haha -- this is a rented uniform! NOW WHO'S THE PRANK KING?!?!
Streaming Mad: $206 in urine-soaked coins is not acceptable payment for a speeding ticket in Washington [autoblog]
Thanks to The Jerk, who was peeing in the slot your money comes out of on an ATM when the little door slammed closed on his pecker and he had to call the police. They laughed at him and then posted the security cam footage on Youtube. I saw it, it was funny.
Jan 20 2009 Wow, What A Go-Getter: Kid Buys Back Car To Prove Speeding Ticket Was Falsely Issued
One day Dale Lyle got a speeding ticket in the mail issued by one of those automatic ticketing cameras. It claimed he was doing 98MPH in his 14-year old Honda Civic, a car he insisted could only do 85MPH max on a downhill slope with a tailwind. So what did he do? He did what any badass would do -- he stuck it to the man like dogshit under a cardoor handle.
Mr Lyle, 21, who has a clean driving license, had already sold the car to a friend for £600. He had to take out a bank overdraft to buy it back. Then he had to pay an independent driving expert £600 to test the 1.3litre Civic's top speed at a circuit in Bedfordshire.
The result was as expected. Even when driven flat-out, the Honda could still only do a top speed of 85.4mph in fourth gear and 81.3mph in fifth.Next, Mr Lyle obtained the mobile speed-camera footage of his alleged offence - travelling at 98mph on a 70mph three-lane carriageway of the A38, near Plymouth, on December 13, 2007.
The three-minute film shows three other cars in the frame at the same time, he said, which he believes means his vehicle was mistaken for another.
Nice, Dale, way to make us all proud. Now make the court give you back all the money you spent. I swear, I wish I was more like you. I probably would have just paid the fines and then vandalized the ticketing camera. Yay, passive-aggressiveness!
Also, somebody make this website a freaking Wikipedia page already. Geekologie demands Wikognition!
Hit the jump for a picture of the test report Dale had run.
Aug 28 2008 A Chrome Lamborghini: Sure To Turn Heads, Blind Other Motorists And Cause Accidents
First the gold Porsche, then the Burberry Maserati and chrome Ferrari, and now, another chrome-dome, but this time a Lamborghini Murcielgo LP640. And it's for sale here if you want it, but it'll set you back around 622,000 coconuts. Which, if you were the professor, would make one helluva lot of radios. And speaking of coconuts, fun fact: coconut milk, despite its name, doesn't come from a woman's teat. Long story short: my girlfriend tricked me into getting her pregnant.
Hit the jump for several more of the shiny speed demon.
Aug 26 2008 How To Slow Down Speeders In China
This is how local authorities decided to combat speeders on the Jing Zhuang highway in ShanXi province, China: with two 100 foot long, 2 foot high barriers that require motorists to slow down and wind their way through the passage. Hey, you know what else discourages speeders? Cutting their brake lines. Because then they can only go as fast as they feel comfortable hitting a tree. My wife sure as hell doesn't speed anymore. Or even drive for that matter. You see, she's dead. *sobbing*And the sad part is *sniffle* I hate cooking for myself.
Jump for one more picture of the foolproof anti-speeding deterrent.
Apr 18 2008 Jet Car Driver: Must Be Handsome, Charming
Ed Shadle and Keith Zanghi are two nutjobs that want to break the 800 mph land speed record in the US. To achieve such a breakneck speed they've built the North American Eagle -- a jet car powered by a 1957 Lockheed F-104 Starfighter's 42,500 horsepower engine. The damn thing eats 160 gallons of fuel a minute and costs $16,000 in gas every run. Now I can think of better ways to spend my money, but whatever, I have no record-breaking dreams.
Now the couple is having trouble finding sponsors because no one is interested in two old codgers that built a rocket car, they want a handsome, charismatic daredevil. So now the team is looking for one. You must be between the ages of 20-40, and photogenic. Death wish preferred, but not required. If you want to give it a go send a 400-word email to landspeedracing@gmail.com explaining why you're the man for the job, and attach a photo. Now here's a great idea -- how about getting a woman to drive it? That'll certainly garner some publicity. Think about what Danica Patrick did for racing. I can honestly say I had never masturbated to an IndyCar event before she started. Now I'll even do it to a Nascar Truck Series race. What was my point here? Oh right, a woman. I love women.
Just to give you an idea of how touch with reality these two guys are, Shadle told the Times Online, "It's a lot of fun to drive, but if my age is stopping us getting sponsors, we have to remove that barrier. We'll put some hotshot in the driving seat who looks like Robert Redford and see how that works." Wow, Shadle, wow. The last time I checked (which was 30 seconds ago), Robert Redford was 71 and had a grandfatherly look about him. Not sure that's the look sponsors were going for. Unless, of course, you were referring to Redford in 1969's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. In which case I loved his mustache in that movie. Wish I could grow one like that, I'd sell rides.
Driver wanted for jet car: must be young, fearless, good looking [dvice]
Oct 1 2007 Man Has Death Wish, Does 130.7 On Bike
Markus Stoeckl broke the World Speed Record for mountain bikes, topping out at 130.7 mph. Down a mountain. In the snow. "The super speed antics took place on a 2000m stretch at a 45 degree run in the Chilean Andes. To prevent his helmet from fogging up, Mr. Stoeckl had to hold his breath for the entire 40 seconds it took to complete the distance." So, yeah. Apparently Mr. Stoeckl has no respect for his life. The last time I saw a giant red penis doing 130 mph I was masturbating and so hopped up on drugs that I ended up doing permanent damage to my unit.
The record breaking video after the jump.
Sep 12 2007 Toy Radar Gun Mod
A guy has turned one of those cheap Hot Wheels radar guns into something that, uh, stays on all the time and has more batteries. I've played with one of these things before and they're not bad. If you wanted you could point this at me in a bar and see how fast I pick up chicks, the only thing is it would read "the speed of light" and then the damn thing would explode in your face. I'm just saying, I'm quick.
Video instructions after the jump.
Sep 6 2007 Bomb Proof Speed Camera
Currently in use in Holland, Peek Traffic's IDEE, or Innovative Digital Enforcement Environment, is designed to capture speeders using both radar technology, as well as induction loops in the road. The four high resolution digital cameras use infra-red flashes, so speeders don't know they're being snapped. They cost up to $100,000 each and are allegedly bomb and fire proof. Any vibrations or smoke detected by the system sends an alert to the nearest police station. While this is very clever, is the glass paint proof? It seems like they should tackle that before worrying about bombs and fire. It's like locking the door, putting down the blinds, and turning your music up loud before making sweet love to yourself, then realizing your mom is in the room. First things first.
One more of the camera in all its glory after the jump.
Aug 22 2007 Steve Wozniak Breaks Sound Barrier in Prius
Steve Wozniak (Apple co-founder) confirms he was pulled over doing 104 mph in a Toyota Prius and fined $700 a few months ago. Which is shocking for a couple reasons. 1. What was he doing driving? I thought people with his kind of money were carried everywhere. 2. I have never seen a Prius top 45 mph, so this seems near impossible. Although, the longer I look at the picture the more I can imagine it. "Officer the sign said 6 miles to Cracker Barrell and I knew the country ham and gravy simply could not wait."
Steve Wozniak Breaks Sound Barrier in Prius [therawfeed]
