Nov 19 2009
Air Blower iPhone App Really Blows Air (See What I Did There? There's More To Come!)
Looking for the latest and least greatest in iPhone apps? Check out the $1 "Blower" app. It sucks blows sucks and blows is f***ing stupid.
Thanks to the new "Blower" app, iPhone owners will now be able to blow out candles with their handset. Just "switch on your app, turn the iPhone volume to the max and feel the air flowing from the speaker opening."
Unlock the new mind-blowing secret feature on your iPhone. Turn your iPhone into a real Air Blower!
Mind-blowing secret feature my ass. An x-ray camera, now THAT'S a mind-blowing secret feature. Or the ability to make calls to the dead. Phone developers, are you getting all this? Because I'm not buying another phone until I can talk to George Washington and take pictures of Martha's underwear. Just saying.
Hit the jump for a video of the app blowing out candles. WHEE, what a birthday!
Oct 26 2009 The Lullabelly: Music To Your (Baby's) Ears
The Lullabelly is a prenatal (I love those vitamins!) musical belt that pregnant women can strap on and connect to an MP3 player so they can play tunes to their babies while the little tykes are in utero. It's supposed to make them smarter or something but it will probably just make them want a drum set when they're young and fill your house with cacophony and make daddy drink more (I say go for it).
There's a volume control dial so things don't get too loud as well as a pocket for holding your player, and the whole thing is machine washable, after you take out the easy-to-remove speaker of course. It's available in 3 different fabric patterns (pink, green or blue polka dots) directly from the Lullabelly website for $55.
Pregnant women are beautiful, aren't they? God, sometimes I wish I could experience childbirth. But not as a father -- as a mother. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Did I get anybody? You all know me too well.
Lullabelly Prenatal Music Belt [ohgizmo]
Mar 16 2009 Steampunk Frankenstein iPod Victrola Thing
I have no idea what you're looking at either. But whatever it is, it's looking back. Apparently it's some sort of custom iPod Nano (1st gen) case and docking station. I SAID STOP STARING AT ME. That's it, where's my laser pointer?
The design is inspired by Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. The "eye-Pod" can be worn on the wrist via the leather cuff, or placed on it's custom Victrola base. Music can be heard either through the Victrola horn or though a portable personal hearing apparatus (in progress).
All functionality of the iPod remain intact an a hidden USB cord retracts from the base to either a wall charger or your computer. There are hidden pressure plates that when touched send a strobing "static charge" into the quartz crystals on either side of the magnified viewing portal.
Cool. Lose the eyeball and I would proudly display it my living room. Just kidding, I wouldn't touch that thing with your penis. It's just not my style. But you know what IS my style? This Members Only jacket. You smell that? It's called freshness, son. Whoa -- except for that, that was partially digested Kid Cuisine. Sorry.
Hit the jump for a couple more of that oldschool joint.
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Feb 6 2009 Whee, More Non-Newtonian Speaker Fun!
I swear, I never get tired of watching non-Newtonian fluid fun. In this case, another 2:1 cornstarch to water concoction (aka oobleck) on a speaker. I really liked it when some of the pieces started diving out of the pool. Screw this sausage pool party, I'm outta heeeeeeeeeere!!
Amazing cornstarch speaker monster: Not as easy at looks [dvice]
Jan 21 2009 My Turn, My Turn!: Cat Rides Subwoofer
We already discovered cats have a penchant for Roombas, but who knew the little fish-loving shit machines love riding subwoofers as well? Not me. But, as is evident from the video, its like an amusement park ride for the little furballs. Toss some catnip into the mix and it'll be just like that time I got high and puked in Space Mountain. Fun!
Cat Gets Good Vibrations From Subwoofer [gizmodo]
Dec 9 2008 Don't Stand Too Close To A Cuckoo Speaker!
The cuckoo speaker may look like an ordinary speaker, but when the music gets loud enough the speaker in the bottom pops out like one of those spring-loaded boxing gloves! I bet it sounds like shit! But regardless, to compliment the speaker, I've come up with a similar idea for televisions. Check this out: so it looks like a regular TV, right? But when there are naked chicks on the screen my pants shoot off! Move over Thomas Edison, your ass just got invented son!
Cuckoo Loudspeaker pushes the speaker into the room [dvice]
Nov 12 2008 Best Buy Gift Card Doubles As Speaker, Target Gift Card Doubles As Digital Camera, Geekologie Writer Doubles As Your Father
Reader, I am your father. And you can tell your mother I'm not paying her shit, she's been bleeding me dry for long enough. But I'll still send you a gift card for Christmas, you know, because I love you. And also, if you grow up to play a professional sport, I want you to remember your dear old dad. Anyway, Best Buy and Target are taking a different approach to gift cards this year. By making them both gift card AND present. That's right, the Best Buy card doubles as a speaker, complete with mini-headphone jack, and the Target one is actually a 1.3 megapixel, 8MB digital camera. You ever redeemed a giftcard with pictures of your genitals on it? No? Then you haven't lived. Unfortunately, you have to buy at least $50 cards to get the cool ones. So yeah, there goes my $5 surround sound system.
Hit the jump for a shot of the camera card.
Nov 3 2008 $110,000 Solid Aluminum Speakers
Got $110,000 burning a hole in your golden pants pocket? How about sharing the wealth with your favorite blogger? Damnit, no, not The Superficial Writer. That guy's a dick. No, not Iwatchstuff either. I was talking about yours truly, folks. Way to kick a guy in the freaking head while he's bent over to tie his shoe. Now I don't even want your money. Just kidding, I totally do. All of it. Stick 'em up! Jewelry too. Anyway the KEF Muon speakers are each milled from a solid piece of aluminum and take a week to make. And allegedly they sell for $110,000. Which is $1,000 times ninety-something. For speakers. But if you're seriously interested, call me, I'm an authorized dealer -- of kicking your rich ass!
Product Page
Thanks to Momboelitist, who wouldn't pay a dime over $69,950 for those mothers.
Sep 25 2008 Play The Drums -- On Your Shirt!
That's right folks, ThinkGeek is selling this $30 Drumkit T-shirt so you can rock out with your high-hat out anywhere you go.
Hit the drums on this shirt with your finger and they play through the built in speaker... simple but amazing. With 7 different drum sounds you're ready for a personal drum solo on your chest.
Hell yes, personal drum solo on my chest! Any of you lovely ladies interested in a duet?
Thanks to Brad and Sarah, who don't need drums to know how to rock.
Aug 8 2008 Dark Knight Interrogation Scene Parody
This is a spoof of the interrogation scene from Dark Knight. One guy is actually playing both parts and it's moderately funny. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'm going to anyways because I'm that kind of asshole -- Joker can't understand what Batman is saying because of the way he talks. BOOM -- spoiled! Oh shit, here comes another -- you were adopted.
Geekologie: Ruining lives and relationships since 2006.
Thanks to Tony, Romeo, and Josh -- crimefighters that battle injustice the old fashioned way: in front of the computer. With a beerbelt.
Jul 16 2008 Non-Newtonian Fluid On Subwoofer
This is a video of a non-Newtonian fluid on a metal sheet set atop a subwoofer. It's pretty cool to watch. In case you forgot (or never knew) what non-Newtonian fluids are, I've copy/pasted some Wikipedia below, and posted another video of some people running across a pool of the stuff after the jump.
A non-Newtonian fluid is a fluid whose flow properties cannot be described by a single constant viscosity. An inexpensive, non-toxic example of a non-Newtonian fluid is a solution of corn starch (corn flour) and water, sometimes called oobleck. The application of force - for example by stabbing the surface with a finger, or rapidly inverting the container holding it - leads to the fluid behaving like a solid rather than a liquid. This is the "shear thickening" property of this non-Newtonian fluid. More gentle treatment, such as slowly inserting a spoon, will leave it in its liquid state. Trying to jerk the spoon back out again, however, will trigger the return of the temporary solid state. A person moving quickly and applying sufficient force with their feet can literally walk across such a liquid.
Mix cornstarch to water in a 2:1 ratio to make your own. But if you don't have any cornstarch handy you can just use pancake batter.
UPDATE: Okay, who believed me and used pancake batter? Anybody, anybody? Suckers! This is the interwebs, folks -- you can't go around believing everything you read. And on an unrelated note, does anybody know how long it typically takes for a Nigerian prince to transfer funds into a U.S. bank account?
Hit the jump for a video of people running across a non-Newtonian fluid.
Jan 29 2008 Device Allows You To Listen To The Quiet
The Otto is a device that you can attach to almost anything via its suction pads/magnets and listen to noises that would otherwise be inaudible. I really, really want one. I used a stethoscope to listen to my Sea Monkeys, but it sucked because you have to be right up against the tank to hear. I just want it playing out loud all the time. I swear, those little monkeys were a riot. "Does this guy really think we're monkeys?" "Somebody needs to tell that dumb asshole we're shrimp, not monkeys -- we can't eat a whole banana." "I actually think he's retarded." That's all I really heard before I emptied their tank into the toilet and flushed them.
Another picture of the device attached to a window, after the jump.
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Jan 7 2008 Business Card Autodials Your Phone Number
Tom Ward is an electronic product designer (his business card says so) who has made a business card that autodials his phone number. You slap the corner of the card (which contains a small speaker) against the mouthpiece of your phone and the card emits "a series of DTMF audio tones to automatically dial the phone number you have programmed." He has a post on instructables if you're interesting in making them yourself, and he says he's got the price down to about $2.00 apiece when making them in large batches. I'm definitely going to make some, except I'm not going to program my real number. Nope, I'm going to use some long-ass-distance international number in China. Then everyone I give my card to will have an expensive phone bill for calling China! Oh the hilarity, I can't wait. Of course my business is going to go straight to shit because I've alienated all my customers, but that's a small price to pay for such a great practical joke.
Brilliant Autodialling Business Card [ohgizmo]
Dec 28 2007 Vivid Audio G1 Giya Speakers Are Confused
Vivid Audio's new G1 Giya speakers were recently unveiled, and as you can see, they look ridiculous. They stand 5 1/2 feet tall, weigh 154 pounds each, and are capable of handling frequencies between 23Hz and 44kHz with 800-watts of power. They also come with automotive paint finishes and cost $54,000. Proving beyond a doubt the damn speakers think they're cars. They're both painted and priced like them, so it's no wonder the poor bastards are so confused. And as much as I would love to own them, I don't exactly live in a magic lamp and grant wishes. Okay fine, I do grant wishes. But only ones that have to do with me and hot chicks getting it on. And even those aren’t so much wishes as they are wet dreams I have.
Vivid Audio's G1 Giya speaker: suitable for a prince... or Prince [engadget]
