Apr 20 2009 Largest Model Rocket Ready For Blast Off

I did absolutely zero research to determine if this 36-foot tall, 1,600lb model rocket built by Steve Eves is, in fact, the largest ever, but that's only because I've already won numerous prizes for investigative journalism and figured I'd give somebody else a chance. I jest -- I'm just stoned to bejesus.

The mini-Saturn V is powered by nine rocket motors including 8 13,000ns N-Class motors and a single 77,000ns P-Class motor.

The single stage flight should reach an altitude somewhere between 3,000 and 4,000 feet, and at apogee the rocket will separate into three parts and return to Earth via the assistance of various parachutes. In the end Eves estimates he's invested about 1,500 hours into the project with a total budget of around $25,000, though that will actually be covered by various sponsors come the April 25th launch event.

Nice. Reminds me of the time at Space Camp we built model rockets and launched them off with crickets as payload. I remember my cricket (Chirpy McHandicapped) only had one back leg. Well, before liftoff. After liftoff he had one back leg on fire. R.I.P. Chirpy, say hi to Space Bat for me.

Largest Model Rocket In History Is 36 Feet Tall, Weighs Over 1,600 Pounds [ohgizmo]

Thanks to Stephen, who once put a rocket's fin on crooked and the rocket went all crazy like PPSSSSHOOWWOWOWOWWOWWSSSSSSSS *pop*

Mar 25 2009 Stephen Colbert's Name On Space Station

Stephen Colbert just won a contest to have a new section of the International Space Station named after him. Unfortunately, those sticklers at NASA probably won't let it fly -- or orbit (ZING!).

The name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options in the space agency's effort to have the public help name the addition. The new room will be launched later this year.

NASA's mistake was allowing write-ins.

Colbert urged viewers of his Comedy Central show, "The Colbert Report" to write in his name - and they complied, with 230,539 votes. That clobbered Serenity, one of the NASA choices, by more than 40,000 votes.

NASA reserves the right to choose an appropriate name. Agency spokesman John Yembrick said NASA will decide in April, but will give top vote-getters "the most consideration."

Colbert sounds just as good as Serenity if you ask me. But they're both kind of weak. I was sort of hoping for something with a little more pizazz. Namely, "The GW's Intergalactic Boom Boom Room: where the beer is yesterday's urine and the lapdances are OUT OF THIS WORLD®".

Comic Colbert wins NASA space station name contest [yahoonews]

Thanks to Pepe Le PEWPEW, who wrote in 'The PEW PEW Room', which I agree, does have a ring to it.

Mar 7 2009 Japanese Astronaut To Perform Highly Questionable Space Experiments

A Japanese astronaut is set to perform a number of worthless experiments this month while aboard the International Space Station in an attempt to piss off taxpayers and win over schoolchildren.

Koichi Wakata will perform 16 tasks chosen from 1,597 suggested by hundreds of people, from nursery school pupils to a 90-year-old man, said the official at the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA).

Wakata will try "a magic carpet that floats in the air" after he reaches the Japanese laboratory Kibo (Hope) at the International Space Station (ISS) later in March for a stay of more than three months, said a JAXA report.

Wakata will also attempt to fold clothes, do push-ups and backflips, arm-wrestle another astronaut and "shoot liquid out of the straw of a drink container to see what happens", said the space agency.

Wow, that sounds....boring. How about you actually perform a few of the experiments I suggested, JAXA? For example: is getting drunk in space as awesome as I imagine? And, if so, is it easy to clean up puke? Lastly, are morbidly-obese people REALLY weightless in space? Because last summer I rode a centrifuge at the county fair and this one fat lady kept sliding down the wall.

Japan astronaut to try flying carpet in space lab: official [physorg]

Thanks to Fred, who wants to know if free-dried ice cream is complimentary for astronauts or if you have to pay for it like at Space Camp.

Mar 5 2009 Docking: What The Hell Did I Just Watch?

I really have no idea what I just watched but it reminded me of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Also, I think it carried a powerful message. One about doing it. In space.

Docking [vimeo]

Thanks to C, who has actually done it in space and always tells me the story and it makes me so jealous.

Jan 8 2009 New Space Toilet Ready To Drop (!) In 2014

The Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) believe they've solved the age-old problem of how to shit in space.

The current ISS toilet is a Russian-built, western-style commode that sucks waste away like a vacuum cleaner. Use of that toilet requires practice before heading to space, particularly because an improperly seated user has the potential to create a messy situation.

Clean and easy to use, the envisioned space toilet is designed to be worn like a diaper around the astronaut's waist at all times. Sensors detect when the user relieves him or herself, automatically activating a rear-mounted suction unit that draws the waste away from the body through tubes into a separate container. In addition to washing and drying the wearer after each use, the next-generation space toilet will incorporate features that eliminate unwanted sound and odor.

No offense, JAXA, but that sounds a little like overkill. Here's a much simpler and cost effective solution: shit yo pants! Then put them in a bag, and throw them out the nearest air-lock. Extra points for hitting a passing UFO.

Next-generation space toilet ready in five years [pinktentacle

Thanks to abovedefault and Praveen, who don't need vacuum-diapers because they digest everything. That's right, everything. Even gum.

Dec 8 2008 Eye Candy: Aurora Borealis From Space

This is a time-lapse video made of still images by astronaut Don Pettit aboard the International Space Station. It shows the Aurora Borealis in all its auroral beauty -- from space. And while it's not THE most beautiful thing I've ever seen, it's second only to the boobs I saw yesterday.

Youtube

Thanks to Larry, who apologizes for saying Dan stinks but will still see him on the hike tomorrow rain or shine. Just be careful guys, and don't get f***ed by any bears.

Dec 5 2008 U.K. Launches (Teddy) Bears To (Near) Space

The University of Cambridge, in cooperation with a bunch of school kids, ballooned four teddy bears to 30,000 meters. Because, I mean, why the hell not?

A helium balloon was used to get the bears up up and away flying to Near Space or the Edge of Space as it is known. The bears endured temperatures of minus 53 degrees on the three hour flight from Cambridge and all were returned safely to Earth.

The project was intended to "engage local schoolchildren in science and engineering" with young pupils making the Teddy-nauts' space-suits.

Oh yeah, making Teddy-naut suits, that's science and engineering for you. Let's see, the dumbass bear on the left doesn't even have a freaking helmet, so that poor bastard's long gone. And the one on the right....is that an inside out Doritos bag zip tied to his body? Wow. There was no good picture of the balloon they used, but we can only assume it was of the 'Get Well Soon' variety from the grocery store.

Photos of teddy bears in space [newslite]

Thanks to Charles, who once launched a polar bear into space with a single punch. The dude's strong.

Dec 3 2008 Out Of This World Deliciousness: Space Beer

Mmmm, space beer. It's the stuff my sci-fi fantasies are made of. Well, that, and the aquamarine breasts of alien chicks. Well now fantasy and reality collide -- with honest-to-God space beer (sort of)!

The beer will be made with barley -- to be harvested this weekend -- descended from seeds that spent five months in 2006 aboard the International Space Station.

Sapporo isn't planning to sell the special brew, at least for now, and hasn't decided how it will distribute the planned 100 bottles, Matsumura said.

So far, scientists have not found any difference between space barley and the Earth-confined version, she said.

First of all, The Geekologie Writer clearly deserves a bottle. And secondly, have you tried the new beer on tap at the Mos Eisley Cantina? It's called PEW PEW Pilsner. BWAHAHHA HAHA! Han shot first! Whew *wiping tear* God I hate myself.

Japanese brewery to make beer from space barley [heraldtribune]

Thanks to Jumpin_J and Pat, who, for the tips, can each get a sip of my space brew. Backwash.

Nov 24 2008 $450,000 Watch Features Real Moon Dust

The DNA Moon Dust Watch from Geneva watchmaker Romain Jerome was created to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing is limited to a not-so-limited edition of 1,969 (get it, because of the year?).

'The case of the watch is made with steel melted with fragments of the Apollo 11.

'The dial and face is made from minerals that include real dust from the moon - this is a world first. The moon dust had been melted into it.

Each piece will run between $15,000 and $450,000, depending on the amount of moon dust (cheap bastards didn't even use cheese) and Apollo metal included. Some of the straps are even made from the fibers of a spaceshit! Wait, I meant suit, spacesuit. Anyway, this is a total ripoff. I bought an authentic angel dust watch from a tweaker for only $20. Whee, ants are crawling under my skin!

The watch that is out of this world: Timepiece made from moon dust will cost £300,000 [dailymail]

Thanks to Uncle Eccoli, who doesn't need a moon dust watch to know it's time to party.

Nov 19 2008 Korean Soldiers Get New Halo-y Armor

The Rupublic of Korea's troops are stepping into winter fashion in a big way -- with all new threads and a sweet-ass rifle.

The new new battle uniforms would provide protection against nuclear, biological, and chemical attacks, and would feature automatic temperature control. A new protective vest is also planned. In addition to keeping the lead out, the helmet will be prewired for minicam video transmission, GPS navigation, and assorted networking gear

And the gun?

The double-barreled K-11 assault rifle lets the shooter fire either NATO 5.56- or 20-millimeter grenades, all off the same trigger. Day and night aiming is accomplished with a thermal target seeker and laser that calculates distance automatically--a true point-and-shoot.

Oh man, WANT! I just question how legitimate this new gear is seeing how the picture looks suspiciously like someone Xeroxed the cover of an old sci-fi novel.

Hit the jump for a 5:00 video about the new rifle. Pretty sweet drop-test footage starting at 4:15.

Continue Reading " Korean Soldiers Get New Halo-y Armor "

May 5 2008 Whew, I Can Finally Move On With My Life: Boomerangs Will Work Without Gravity

Finally, the weeks old question has been answered. Boomerangs work in space and are not dependent on gravity to work their magic. Say, here's an interesting fact: Did you know that the boomerang was first invented by Crocodile Dundee? It's true. I think this whole boomerang thing leaves a lingering question unanswered though, and that's this: Screw a boomerang, let's throw some damn horseshoes.

UPDATE: Horseshoe smashed instrument panel. Lots of stuff malfunctioning. I think my spaceship knows which way to go, tell me wife I love her very much she knows. Actually, scratch that -- just tell her if she has sex with any other dudes when I'm dead to not bother coming to heaven.

Boomerangs In Space [ohgizmo]

May 1 2008 Coming Soon: Space Flights For Cheaper

Thought Virgin Galactic had the public space travel market sewn shut? Well think again -- there's a new player coming to the game.

The company, XCOR Aerospace, of Mojave, CA, announced that its two-seat Lynx suborbital spaceship will carry people or payloads to where they will experience weightlessness and see the stars above and the Earth and its atmosphere below. This will launch XCOR into the emerging space tourism market, estimated at over a half-billion dollars.

The Lynx will offer affordable access to space for individuals, researchers and educators," said XCOR CEO Jeff Greason. "Future versions of Lynx will offer ever-improving capabilities for scientific and engineering research and commercial applications.

The spaceship, roughly the size of a small private airplane, will first take off in 2010 and will be capable of flying several times each day.

Rides will last approximately 30 minutes from take-off to landing, but there's no word on pricing yet. It's definitely going to be cheaper than $200,000 Virgin Galactic rides, but probably still expensive. My guess is a tentacled arm and leg! Get it? Because aliens have tentacled appendages. That was a space joke. Just like this one: Why doesn't NASA let me fly the space shuttle? Because I'm a freaking idiot!

Another picture showing what a typical flight will consist of, along with a worthwhile video, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Coming Soon: Space Flights For Cheaper "

Feb 25 2008 Pet Peek Makes Your Dog An Astronaut, Sad

Pet Peeks are torture devices for dogs that make them look like space cadets. They consist of an acrylic plastic bubble you install in the fence so your pet can see out. They cost $30 apiece and make me sad. I'm not really convinced that a Pet Peek is better than your dog just not knowing what's happening on the other side. I mean, why not just a hole? Ah yes, dogs can't wipe their snot on a hole. Nor can you sell them (except in donut form).

Pet Peek [zuzafun]

Thanks to Sophia, who is awesome as all hell, for the tip

Feb 21 2008 It's About Freaking Time: The Nubrella

The Nubrella is a $60 hands-free umbrella. If you can't tell from the pictures it's fairly ridiculous looking. Now I've never been one to really care what I look like, particularly out in the elements, but I still don't think I could bring myself to don a Nubrella.

Nubrella is no ordinary umbrella, it stops rain, wind, snow and extreme cold- and keeps your head, face and shoulders drier than ever. It offers more protection, guaranteed! Yet, nubrella went one step further and is changing the game forever. With nubrella's new patent pending "shoulder straps" and "offset handle" you can now be completely hands free!

Wow, "changing the game forever", that's a pretty bold statement. Now exactly what game are we talking about here? I need to know so I'm never caught accidentally playing. Nubrella - I'd rather be soaked.

A couple more ridiculous pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " It's About Freaking Time: The Nubrella "