Feb 5 2009 Remains Of Giant, Prehistoric Snake Found

The fossilized remains of a monster snake that used to eat the hell out of giant crocodiles and other delicious beasts have been found in Colombia. Also, a mountain of coke. Literally, I climbed it.

The newly discovered type of snake, named Titanoboa in honour of its immense size, was for 10 million years the largest land predator on earth. It weighed 1.25 tonnes (~1.4 tons) and with a length of 45 feet or more it would have been able to take on and eat pretty much any other animal it came across.

He added: "Truly enormous snakes really spark people's imagination, but reality has exceeded the fantasies of Hollywood. The snake that tried to eat Jennifer Lopez in the movie Anaconda is not as big as the one we found."

Well thank God he referenced Anaconda, because otherwise I'd have no idea how big this snake really was. So this thing actually could eat Jennifer Lopez. Is she fat? I have no idea. Who do I look like, The Superficial Writer?

Giant Titanoboa snake ruled the earth after the dinosaurs [timesonline]

Thanks to Daniel, who astutely observed: OMFG. And another Daniel, who had this to add: Mommy.

Oct 21 2008 Frightening Little Gnome Still Gnoming Strong In Argentina

Remember the gnome/leprechaun that was terrorizing Argentina? Well, he's still around, and, apparently, still looking for his gold.

The teens - who recorded footage of the freaky being on their mobile phone - said they are now "too terrified" to go out at night.

Experts who examined the latest footage, taken in the town of Clodomira, province of Santiago del Estero, Argentina, last week, say it is 'credible'.

But sceptics say the sidestepping 'gnome' could be a speedy child or even a small animal.

Haha, no. What in the hell would a child on speed or a dog want with with a pot of gold? Exactly, nothing. "WHO ELSE SEE THE LEPRECHAUN SAY YEEEAAAH!"

'Creepy gnome' back on prowl [thesun]

Thanks again to Julian, who, for two tips in one day receives a free lap dance. Ladies?

Mar 20 2008 Gnomes Are Real, As Awesome As I Imagined

Apparently a gnome is terrorizing the town of General Guemes in Argentina. Although from the report he didn't actually do anything but try to cross the street (video after the jump!). I mean it's not like he's sucking the blood of your goats like the Chupacabra does. He's just trying to get his gnome on. Leave the poor bastard alone. He's probably just wandering the countryside looking for a nice garden to accentuate.

Must see crappy quality video of the handsome little devil after the jump. But turn down the volume -- the guy filming shrieks like a little girl at the end. Oh -- and if anybody can translate what the kids are talking about I'd like to know.

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