Jun 18 2009 It's A Boy!: Periodic Table Gets New Element

That's right young'n, the periodic table finally gave birth to element 112, temporarily named 'Ununbium', until it's official name 'Geekologium' can be verified by the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry (IUPAC), who I may or may not be holding at gunpoint. I SAID SIGN THE PAPERS!

More than a decade after experiments first produced a single atom of the element, a team of German scientists has been credited with its discovery.

The team, led by Sigurd Hofmann at the Centre for Heavy Ion Research, must propose a name for their find, before it can be formally added to the table.

To create element 112, Professor Hofmann's team used a 120m-long particle accelerator to fire a beam of charged zinc atoms (or zinc ions) at lead atoms. Nuclei of the two elements merged, or fused, to form the nucleus of the new element.

Oh yeah? Well I was born when a beam of charged awesome atoms were fired at badass ones. Nuclei of the two elements merged, or fused, to form my nuts. Then, a stork wrapped me in a blanket and flew off. But mid-flight I cut myself out of the sack and parachuted behind enemy lines, where I shot the everliving shit out of them. And that, my friends, is how I became the youngest recipient of the Congressional Medal of Awesome.

Periodic table gets a new element [bbcnews]

Thanks to Ari and Julian, who were born after a sperm fused with an egg.

Jun 17 2009 Oh Great: NASA Plans To Blow Up The Moon

That's right folks, NASA plans to shoot a giant missile at the moon and make it go boom. BOOM SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE THE MOON!

In an unprecedented scientific endeavor -- and what may be one of the coolest space missions ever -- NASA is preparing to fly a rocket booster into the moon, triggering a six-mile-high explosion that scientists hope will confirm the presence of water.

The four-month mission of the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS), which will be directed from NASA's Ames Research Center at Moffett Field, is to discover whether water is frozen in the perpetual darkness of craters near the moon's south pole. As a potential source of oxygen for life support and hydrogen for rocket fuel, that water would be a tremendous boost to NASA's plans to restart human exploration of the moon.

Come on NASA -- as pro blowing stuff up as I am, there has got to be an easier way to find out if there's water on the moon. Like, oh I dunno, ASKING THE MOON PEOPLE. Hey, moon-chick, is there water in the moon? "ZIP ZAP ZIP YES WE DRINK IT". Ta-da, mystery solved. But while you're here, how about flashing those blue cheese boobs in my direction one more time?

NASA/Ames ready to explode one of the coolest space missions ever [siliconvalley]

Thanks to meeotch, who wants to ride the rocket when it goes. Me too, meeotch, me too.

Jun 17 2009 A Magical Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder

The Magic Missile Massage Bra from Pangao is supposed to make you breasts larger through the use of a little sorcerer and massaging "forceful vibration balls". Yes, forceful vibration balls. Plus, it comes standard with a pretty sweet spiderweb pattern. But what else can it do?

• Make breast up.
• Dredge breast glands.
• Eliminate blood stasis.
• Effectively prevent women from breasts diseases and flaccid
• Also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure.
• If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal secretion.

Pretty convincing, huh? I know, I just bought thirty and my breasts were already huge! I plan on wearing them all one on top of the other for exponential tissue growth. ZZ's, here I come! I may need a bigger wheelbarrow.

Magic Massage Bra Enlarges Breasts [gizmodo]

Thanks to ffffffffff, who is offering free massages if you're concerned about the safety of using forceful vibration balls.

Feb 19 2009 Guy's Cabinet Door Sounds Like Chewbacca

This is a video of a guy opening and closing a cabinet door so the whole world can hear how it sounds like Chewbacca. Also, 'holy shit, this is amazing!' should never be used to describe a cabinet door. "Say, are you that guy that made the Chewbacca squeaking door video?" "I most certainly am!" "You sir, are a loser -- how much for the cabinet?"

Guys Cabinet Door Sounds Exactly like Chewbacca! [funnyordie]

Thanks to Erik, who has a screen door that sounds like Jar Jar getting shot in the face by an arrow.

Feb 11 2009 Pfft, Stitches, How About A Little PEW PEW?

In an attempt to prove that not all PEWs are bad PEWs, doctors at Tel Aviv University have developed a laser that is capable of sealing wounds safer and more efficiently than traditional stitches.

The laser allows a wound to be welded shut as opposed to sutured, which makes it far more watertight and there's less tearing. It's done by very carefully controlling the temperature of the beam, and Israeli patients treated with the laser have already enjoyed faster healing times and less scarring.

Cool, but can it still blind you if you stare at it too long? And, if not, can you make me one that can? The bully that lives across the street threw a rock at me when we got off the bus yesterday, and I want to burn his eyes out. Also, his older sister is hot. I want to see her naked. PEW PEW?

Hit the jump for a video of the PEW in action.

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Jan 30 2009 Augmented Reality Coming To LEGO Retailers

We've already seen several examples of augmented reality here on Geekologie. Some sexier than others. And now the technology may be coming to everybody's favorite modular plastic blocks -- LEGO!

LEGO will apparently be rolling out these new 'Digital Box' kiosks to select toyshops around the world that allow you to see a 3D representation of what the LEGO model looks like when fully assembled. The kiosk uses a built-in video camera and custom augmented reality software developed by a German company called Metaio, and because the model exists in 3D, you're able to interactively turn and move it around to see it from all sides.

Sweet! I've always had trouble telling what a LEGO set will look like when it's finished because I usually end up with a belly full few pieces. So this won't help at all. But still, they should use this technology for something more practical -- like microwaveable meals. Am I right? Yes, now hit the jump to see my lunch.

Continue Reading " Augmented Reality Coming To LEGO Retailers "