Sep 1 2009 I Must Have It!: Magical Unicorn Juice
Some guy on eBay recently sold the last jar of unicorn semen in the United States for $31 plus $3 flat rate shipping. If you were the buyer please contact me, as I must have some. *ahem* For science, for science (if I repeat things it makes them real).
This is possibly the only jar of Unicorn semen left in the united states.Unicorns were bred for their magic and keen night hunting skills to protect lepreachauns that had been injured in battle during the civil war. Unicorns were only found in two places on the planet, the northern and southern hemispheres. Anyone in possession of this rare and magical fluid will be able to swim with the wolves and fly with the dolphins as its powers are still being found.I opened the jar while i was on my computer and my computer flickered for a minute and i realized the semen had helped me kill Yogg-Saron on my World of Warcraft account and i recieved the Shawl of Haunted memories and the Mantle of the Wayward Conqueror. i have already been blessed and recieved my gift...so i'm going to pass the power onto someone else. Do not drink the unicorn semen as the power is too much for the human digestive system and could change your DNA and give you the shits. Bid, but Bid Wisely.
Do not drink, my ass. I have an iron stomach (and lung) and am gonna guzzle that whole jar like I'm shotgunning a beer. LASER VISION, YOU WILL BE MINE!
Thanks Chris, but if I found out you bought it and aren't sharing, well, that's just cruel. GIVE ME A SIP!
Jun 30 2009 Miss You: The Pirate Bay Has Been Sold
The Pirate Bay, one of the world's best known torrent search portals, is being sold to some Swedish firm. It will no longer be so piratey.
Global Gaming Factory X AB, a Swedish firm that runs Internet cafes and game centers, plans to buy The Pirate Bay for 60 million kronor (~$8 million), twice the fine that was slapped on The Pirate Bay defendants by a Stockholm court earlier this year....the new owners plan to make it a legal service that allows "content providers and copyright owners [to] get paid for content that is downloaded via the site."
"Legal service"...."paid for content"....they better change the name.
Pirate Bay sold, to become more like Carnival Cruise Lines [arstechnica]
Thanks to Thumperchica and Zombie Pirate LeChuck, who agrees this isn't even Disney Pirate's Bay any more.
May 20 2009 Craigslist: Sword That Killed Goliath For Sale
Somebody in St. Louis, Missouri is selling a sword that may or may not be the one David used to chop that punk bitch Goliath's monster nog off after getting him all stoned. Wow, I should really teach Sunday School.
B.C. sword the question is ? Is this the sword of the giant, that little young David chopped the giant head off ? I have received alot of responds on this sword because nothing like this have never came up in history of antiques, and not to much talked about because no one wants to talk about the Bible, one question why 7,000 and this is just pennies in whats it's worth, and everyone knows about the game in collecting and how things pass from hand to hand until one gets the big bucks. So if anyone is interested in this sword they must do their home work I found the information and only went to 7th grade, solike you say you need more infor you must research it yourself and then bring me 7,000 dollars ... also this sword is about three feet long ..
That made no sense. Apparently they don't teach writing in St. Louis until 8th grade. Also, David used Goliath's own sword to cut his head off right? SO WHAT WOULD A GIANT BE DOING WITH A 3-FOOT SWORD? No, more than likely this is the sword Jesus used to kill the ninjas at the Battle of Bethlehem.
Thanks to Todd, who, IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!
Mar 26 2009 The Saddest 'Bottomless Beer' I've Ever Seen
The 'Endless Beer' keychain is a little keychain that gives sad alcoholics everywhere the sensation of opening the same empty beer can over and over. Because honestly, what's more fun than disappointment (besides getting hit in the nuts by the space shuttle)? Available in June, the fun-filled devices will run about $9. And, for as much shit as I talk, I'm totally buying one.
Endless Beer Can Popping Keychain! [rinkya]
Mar 14 2008 Fridge Backpack -- Wait Is That A Thong?
The Boxcooler is a refrigerator in a backpack by designer Sebastian Bertram. It has room for both food and dishes and "thermoelectric Peltier elements replace the traditional “freezer batteries” which defrost after a while. Therefore, the food inside stays fresh and cool for a longer time. They are supplied by a storage cell which can be reloaded inside the car or at home." Sweet, this Sebastian character might be on to something. And by 'on to something' I mean that is totally a thong hanging out in the picture! You marketing people out there could learn a thing or two from Sebastian about how to sell your damn products. And that lesson is this: I'm an ass man.
Backpack fridge with traveller dishes [yankodesign]
