Nov 20 2009 Google: Perfect For Searching AND Wiping
Google toilet paper: made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!" HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin'.
This Google's made from 100% Virgin pulp, not chrome [engadget]
Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude's a bear.
Nov 11 2009 Why Not?: Interchangeable Mustache Pillow
The $60 Mr. Moustache pillow is a pillow that comes with interchangeable mustaches for the dapper bastard on the front. They're made by Etsy seller salliyenglanddesign and are fun to kiss, even if your roommate is watching. Don't be jealous just cause I gotta man!
The delightful Mr.Moustache pillow comes with four interchangeable velcro moustaches (Fu Manchu,trucker,gentleman,& salt 'n'pepper!) and a clear plastic storage pocket on the back!
Each velcro moustache is hand trimmed from faux fur, and each Mr.Moustache pillow is handmade in the s.e.d studio in Grand Rapids, Michigan!
Cool. I bought a pair so I can pretend I'm sleeping between two guys. But I make them wear different mustaches because sleeping with twins would be weird. And by weird I mean awesome. I can't quit you -- or you!
Hit the jump for two more shots of the irresistible handsomeness.
Continue Reading " Why Not?: Interchangeable Mustache Pillow "
Nov 4 2009 Breast Scarf Ever (See What I Did There?!)
This is a boob scarf made out of gym socks and what may or may not be dried apricots. They cost $45 and are available from Etsy seller Lourdesoftheflies. I think you only get one pair for that price though. RIPOFF!
almost look real!almost feel real!
almost are real!great for winter!
If you can actually convince someone that these almost look and feel real, you could probably sell safety matches to the devil. That said, I bought two pairs just to be safe. Worse comes to worse I'll fill them with pennies and swing em around like nunchucks.
Thanks to Rich Waffle_u, who better not waffle me unless he wants a face full of knuckles!
Nov 3 2009 The Gift Of Love: A Beating Heart Plushie
Looking for the perfect gift for that special someone? Give them your heart! Well, not your actual heart (unless you know that creepy mother from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). With just a shake this $18 anatomically correct heart from ThinkGeek begins making beating noises and pulsating in your lover's hand! Perfect to sleep with whenever your significant other is out of town. Or in town cheating on you!*
*Tear absorbent
ThinkGeek Product Site
via
Plush Beating Heart: Halloween and Valentine's Day All Rolled Up Into One [uberreview]
Sep 25 2009 They're Hugging Me!: Teddy Bear Jacket
This is a jacket made out of teddy bears from artist/designer Sebastian Errazuriz (who also brought us the zipper dress). I like it, it looks really comfortable. Now I know what you're thinking, "I bet that son of a bitch GW still sleeps with a teddy bear!" AND SO WHAT IF I DO? I bet yooooou still sleep with your parents! Kidding, I'd know if you did. HIYO! Your dad's a snorer.
Hit the jump for a couple more sexy shots. I can't help it, I love bears!
Sep 21 2009 Sexy Japanese Lap Pillow Is An Actual Lap
This is a $99 Lap Pillow from Japan that, get this, looks like an actual lap! They come in both black and red skirt options and make a perfect gift for the person in your life that has everything but sexual relations with real people.
This pillow is skin-coloured polyurethene calves folded under soft thighs, a comfy cushion for napping, reading, or watching television.
And that's ALL they're good for, okay? Napping. Reading. Watching television. No funny business -- this includes prop comedy. Wocka wocka wocka!
Thanks to Claytron, who is holding out for chest pillows which, actually, probably already exist.
Aug 6 2009 My Son Must Have This: Baby Link Outfit
I don't actually have a son, but if I did, he would be wearing this Link costume until he was 15. Doctor's orders! Made by craftster user UpKnitCreek for a friend's baby shower, it is hands down the best thing that's ever been given at a shower. And one time I gave a mother to be's best friend the business. And a rash. Double whammy!
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " My Son Must Have This: Baby Link Outfit "
Aug 2 2009 Craft Time!: Make Your Own D-20 Handbag
Be honest, every single one of you would rock this handbag. I know I would, and I don't give a dang if it clashes with my live bear chaps or not (all man, baby). Available from evilmadscientist as mini and full-size kits ($20 and $25, respectively) you're still gonna have to know how to sew. Which I, unfortunately, do not. Last time I tried mending a tear in my jeans I ended up sewing my penis to my ankle. True story.
Hit the jump for some shots of the unfinished kit so you can get a real sense of all the fun to be had.
Continue Reading " Craft Time!: Make Your Own D-20 Handbag "
Jul 24 2009 Stitch Wars: Gallery Of Star Wars Arts & Crafts
This is a gallery of Star Wars arts and crafts, all of which involved the use of needles. But not like the kind at the doctor's office -- those ones make the GW faint!
Hit the jump for 12 more I painstakingly uploaded for your viewing pleasure. I SAID DO IT!
Continue Reading " Stitch Wars: Gallery Of Star Wars Arts & Crafts "
Jul 14 2009 Cats Manipulate People With Their Purrs
So apparently cats can exploit their caretakers to get what they want through the use of a special purr. I can't say I'm surprised, that's a picture of two of my old cats there (rest in peace, guys). One minute they were purring -- and the next I was teaching them how to read!
Researchers at the University of Sussex have discovered that cats use a "soliciting purr" to overpower their owners and garner attention and food.
Unlike regular purring, this sound incorporates a "cry", with a similar frequency to a human baby's.The team said cats have "tapped into" a human bias - producing a sound that humans find very difficult to ignore.
I dunno, I'm not really that big into babies crying. But maybe that's just my fatherly instincts talking. Read: impregnate and run. What can I say -- I'm a nurturer.
Cats 'exploit' humans by purring [bbcnews]
Thanks to FDSY, Sharkey, RealLifeF***up and Ryan, who are all controlled by an entirely different kind of cat.
This post dedicated in loving memory of The Little Man, October, Jimmy and The Terrorist.
Jul 6 2009 Another Day, Another Retro iPhone Case
Last week it was an exceptionally made oldschool Playstation iPhone case, and this week, a Game Boy.
"You will love it, and your friends will be jealous because you are so much cooler." said German designer Toastkawaii wildly exaggerating in her product description.
$15 will take one home, and another $10 will take me. Now I don't know about you, but I'm digging this one more than the fancy Playstation. This one's got a nice kindergarten arts and crafts feel to it.
Hit the jump for another shot.
Jul 3 2009 Cuuuuuuute!: Felt Playstation iPhone Case
This is a felt Playstation iPhone case made by Etsy user rabbitrampage. As you can see (provided you're not rocking dualie eyepatches) it was very well constructed. And whenever she actually has one in stock, it'll run you $20 -- plus another $7 per controller. Still, damn cute. I'd even consider buying one if I didn't just get a new purse.
Hit the jump for a shot of an iPhone exiting the case. Or is it entering? We may never know.
Continue Reading " Cuuuuuuute!: Felt Playstation iPhone Case "
Jun 12 2009 Weird Gel Remote Lays Limp When Not In Use
This conceptual gel remote from Panasonic lays limp when not in use, pulsating with a soft light. But when its sensors detect a hand coming, it stiffens, ready for action!
Constructed of a soft, flesh-like gel, the remote appears cold when off. Once turned on, however, it seems to come to life. A soft light emanates somewhere from within as the center of the device begins to slowly rise and fall, mimicking the tranquil motions of breath. Left undisturbed, the remote will slumber peacefully. But should a human hand approach, sensors inside alert it to the imminent touch. It stops breathing, grows rigid - the light from within is extinguished.
Wow, congratulations on the world's creepiest remote, Panasonic. Limp when not in use, rigid when you touch it -- doesn't that remind you of something else? No? Me neither.
Strange Gel Remote Concept by Panasonic [cubeme]
Thanks Anothony, but put that away. You can't change the channel with that.
May 26 2009 Om Nom Nom: The iPod Shuffle Bacon Case
In a recent interview, I got God to admit that bacon is, in fact, the perfect food, followed distantly by Snack Pack Pudding and Fruit Roll-Ups. So it only makes sense to swaddle your iPod Shuffle in the stuff, right? Enter the $19 Bacon Bits Case by Etsy seller Antjes. Too expensive? Find out where to score that bacon-print felt and make them yourself! Hell, you could make anything! Including, but not limited to: breakfast. What can I say, I like a little fur on my meat. Ladies?
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " Om Nom Nom: The iPod Shuffle Bacon Case "
May 21 2009 This Is The Awesomest Hat Ever Made
And if you could incorporate a beer helmet into it, it would be awesomest hat ever possible to make.
I made this hat for my son - he wanted a mean shark. I saw the dead fish hat pattern and loved the idea - I just varied the pattern quite a lot to make different looking species. And felted it so it looks like it jumped out of the water and landed on his head...
I basically cast 90 stitches onto a size 9 circular needle and winged it from there. I used Patons wool and it felted great.
Okay I have absolutely no idea what that means because the only thing I've ever stitched is my head to the carpet, but if somebody out there could make me one that would be just about the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Well, besides BYOB night at the strip club. Superficial Writer -- out of my cooler!
Shark Attack Hat [craftster]
Thanks to Towee Monster and Yopoleo, who have both almost been victims of shark attacks but punched the guys before they got hold of their underwear. Good looking, guys.
May 13 2009 Chipmunk Meets The Star Wars Universe
This is a little photo gallery of a friendly chipmunk named Billy exploring the Star Wars universe in Flickr user powerpig's backyard. All the photos are real, Billy just happens to be very receptive to curious Ewoks and stormtroopers (and maybe even a little Chewbacca action!). Heartwarming, isn't it? You keep him distracted, I'll fire up the grill.
Hit the jump for a few more and a link to the entire Flickr gallery.
May 8 2009 Pillow Laptop: Working Never Felt So Zzzzz
This is a pillow that looks like a laptop. It's nonfunctional (as a computer, fully functional as a sleep aid), but soft. I don't even know if they're for sale, but let's be honest, you wouldn't buy one if they were. Oh you would? *yelling down to the basement* Say, it doesn't have to be sweatshop free, does it? Anyway, I think we can all agree this laptop brings new meaning to the phrase, "passing out on your laptop and puking into the keys and then it catching fire and torching your eyebrows off", doesn't it? Well I think it does.
This Is the Best Laptop in the World (Or At Least the Softest) [gizmodo]
Thanks to trishna87, who once fell asleep on a netbook and woke up in a web. Spiderman is an online predator.
Apr 30 2009 Graphical!: Some Sweet Adobe Suite Pillows
I was gonna do the whole FAKE! bit on this post but then I realized I've done it like three times already and that's way too many for any one person, so I decided not to. Anyway, this is a set of Adobe icon pillows, featuring all your favorite design programs like Photoshop, Illustrator, and that handsome devil Dreamweaver. Prices are as Illustratored(!). Buy the whole set and save $10. Buy sweatshop free and save some third-world youth's fingers. Buy me a drink and then take me home and do me. RAWR!
Adobe Creative Suite Pillows Are All About Design [gizmodo]
Thanks to Jesse, who doesn't need a pillow to be comfortable because she sleeps in the clouds with unicorns. Lucky!
Apr 23 2009 Bacon Gummis Actually Strawberry Flavored
Now why on earth would you make Gummi Bacon strawberry flavored? That's like growing bacon-flavored strawberries. Which....holy shit, my genius amazes even me sometimes. I want our top men on this right away.
Gummy Bacon ($5 for a pack of four) is a great way to scare folks. Here's how: take some out of the package when no one is looking, cover them in plastic wrap, and wait in your office kitchen. Then, when folks come in, take a strip out, lament how you just don't have time to cook it, and then eat it anyways! They will be shocked, and you'll enjoy the nice gummy taste of strawberry - it's a win/win situation.
Well I don't know about all that action, but hey, different strokes for different folks. I just happen to be king of the breast. Stroke AND rub. Ladies?
ThinkGeek Product Page
Thanks to Michael, Julian and John, who prefer their gummi bacon actually bacon flavored. Is that too much to ask? No, no it's not.
Apr 22 2009 Best Nintendo DS Case Ever? Hint: Yes
This is by far the best Nintendo DS case ever crafted. If you can't tell by the censor block I put over the picture, they're boobs. But not just any boobs. Really soft looking ones. I swear, we get a picture of Jessica Chobot licking this and BOOM!: the cover of TIME Magazine. For the next thirty years. Also, peace in the Middle East.
Hit the jump for the uncensored picture.
