Sep 16 2009 Don't Friend Your Mom: More Facebook Fails
You gotta love it when your mom publicly congratulates you on Facebook for breaking your spell of sexlessness. Isn't that right, mom? *high-five* But seriously, knock next time. Also, this sock needs washing.
Hit the jump for three more Facebook faux pas.
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Aug 25 2009 How Not To Private Message On Facebook
This is 41-year old idiot moron Tracy T-something trying to send lover Michael a Facebook message expressing how much she loved him recently railing her but instead posting the note ON HER OWN WALL (admit it, we've been there). Wow, Tracy, what are you doing with this Michael character anyway if you're engaged? And what the hell is a permanent invitation to "the-love-cave-between-my-legs?" Don't get me wrong, I love camping with bears as much as the next guy, BUT I'M NOT MOVING INTO THE CAVE. I would, however, start a fire in there and grill some mammoth.
Picture [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Lee and Lisa, who understand the internet is magic but can still send a message where they mean to.
Aug 11 2009 How To Lose Your Job Via Facebook Status
We already saw one jackass nearly lose his job over his Facebook status, and here comes a chick that actually managed to go all the way. Congratulations -- you're an idiot moron! This is exactly why you can't be social networking friends with your coworkers. Am I right?
The Geekologie Writer is the Superficial Writer gobbles donkey balls while IWatchStuff lives up to his name.
Note to self: Don't 'friend' your boss on FB and then bitch about your job. [thenextweb]
Thanks to Allison and max, both of whom I talk smack about behind their backs.
Jun 3 2009 Damnit Obama, Accept My Friend Request
We've already featured some fake celebrity Facebook pages on Geekologie, so why not the president's? Yes, why not the president's? That's something I ask my self everyday just once a few minutes ago. Also, if you haven't already joined the Geekologie page on Facebook, you are no innovator. You are a laggard. And, if you know anything about the Everett Rogers Diffusion of Innovation theory, that's the worst kind. Now I know what you're thinking, "Holy shit, the Geekologie Writer must have like thirty genius brains", but you're wrong, I have an infinity. Times infinity. Kidding, totally think with my junk.
Hit the jump to see the whole profile, which may or not feature Kim Jong-il riding a missile (it does).
May 8 2009 Facebook Konami Code, Pirate Language
If you enter the Konami code (↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A ENTER -- don't do in a text box) after logging into Facebook you get a lens flare effect anytime you click, scroll or type anything. Good times. Unless you're epileptic, in which case, dangerous times. Also, if you scroll to the bottom of the page on the left where it has language selection, you can click on that and then choose 'English (Pirate)' to change Facebook to pirate talk. So yeah, pirate it up and then join the Geekologie Fan Page (if you haven't already) so we can all get together and hunt for treasure and shit. Also, I may send a couple of you L337 mateys on top secret missions (possibly with a liquor store involved). After all, you do want to appease the captain, don't you? NO? Then it's the plank for you, you barnacle loving scalawag! Oh, but be a doll and fetch me a grog first.
Thanks to Ian, Joemo, dboucher, matty, mark, Amanda and Liesel, who all sail under the colors of Geekologie.
May 6 2009 Just What We Need: Robots On Facebook
That's right folks, Facebook, long considered one of humanity's last strongholds, is being breached by robots. Warning: under no circumstances should you accept a robot's friend request. And don't let them fool you with Superpokes and Virtual Drinks, THEY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED METALIZED AND DANGEROUS.
Researchers are giving a robot its own Facebook profile page to help foster meaningful relationships with people. The page will be populated with interactions the robot has with people as well as photos of the time it spends in human company.Its creators hope that embedding it in a social web will give rise to a sustainable friendship can grow up between man and machine.
Umm, how about NO THANKS. Now how in the hell are we supposed to tell friend from robotic foe? I swear, if I catch that robobastard trying to infiltrate the Geekologie Fan page, it is GAME OVER AND LIGHTS OUT. Then lights back on while I find my stuffed dinosaur. THEN LIGHTS OUT AGAIN AND A BUNCH OF GROANING AND RAWR!
Robot to create Facebook profile [bbcnews]
Thanks to ffffffffffffffffff, Aaron, Bilal, Gareth, Kim and Dylan "Free Sex!", who should totally take the 'What Disney Princess Are You' quiz that I just did. I'm Belle!
Apr 7 2009 Flutter: Twitter's Latest Competition
Is 140 characters too many for you? Feel intimidated by all that space? Then check out Flutter, the latest in social blogging sites. Flutter promises to take Twitter's microblogging to the next level: nanoblogging -- with a limit of 26 characters per post, or "flap". Obviously, the video is a parody. But the really sad part is that it probably won't be for long. *waving junk around like a helicopter* Flap this, scumbags!
Thanks toysoldier, Julian and 3bee, who once sat outside my bedroom window tweeting so loud I almost shot at them with a BB gun.
Apr 5 2009 Friend Me: Celebrities' Fake Facebook Pages
For fun on April 1st, PC World Magazine made a bunch of fake Facebook pages for celebrities (we've already seen God's), including, and pretty much limited to: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elvis, Andy Warhol, Satan, Rush Limbaugh, Hillary Clinton, Dr. Manhattan and William Shakespeare. I posted a little of Mr. Gates' there so you could get an idea of what to expect. Go HERE if you want to check them out in their full detail. And if not, hey, we can still be friends. Facebook friends! Seriously, my friend list is empty without you. Haha, I just sent you a virtual bumper sticker, now Superpoke me!
UPDATE: Readers Jess and Zeyd sent me the Facebook page of Greek mythology students. You can see it HERE.
Facebook Pages We'd Like to See [pcworld]
Thanks to Rafi, who still hasn't accepted my friend request. Seriously, just hit the button, bro.
Feb 25 2009 Excessive Gaming Can Cause Skin Sores
That's right folks, too much gaming can give you the stink-palm, according to a recent article in the British Journal of Dermatology. Of course, the disorder (Playstation palmar hidradenitis) may be based entirely on the single case of a 12-year old girl.
Doctors who examined her at the Geneva University Hospital concluded she had a condition known as 'idiopathic eccrine hidradenitis', a skin disorder that generally causes red, sore lumps on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.
The doctors suspect that the problem was caused by tight and continuous grasping of the console's hand-grips, and repeated pushing of the buttons, alongside sweating caused by the tension of the game.
The unsightly lumps went away after 10 days of gaming abstinence. Now listen folks: if reddened palms are the only negative effect of your excessive gaming, be thankful. After all, you've still got your social life, right? Right?
Game consoles 'cause skin sores' [bbcnews]
Thanks to Shelley, Becky, JMR and Tank, who have no fear of developing Playstation palmar hidradenitis because they only play XBox.
Jan 9 2009 The Burger King Whopper Sacrifice: Delete 10 Of Your Facebook Friends For A Free Whopper
Burger King has developed a Facebook application called Whopper Sacrifice that rewards users for deleting friends. You just delete 10 friends from Facebook, and TA-DA -- a coupon for a free Whopper. Unfortunately, the deal only works once per Facebook account and makes you look like a heartless dickbag with a turd for a heart that sucks at life because you'd trade your friendship for a piece of meat in your mouth. Can you tell I've already lost most of my friends? I'm bitter.
Thanks Kenny, de-friend me and I'll kill you.
Feb 4 2008 Brass Knuckles Mug Is Not Actually Brass
Where I work we have a coffee social every morning from 10 - 10:30 a.m. Seeing as how I try to do as little work as possible I always take advantage of this opportunity to escape Cubeville. The only problem is that people try to be social. Listen, I'm there to nurse my hangover and avoid work -- not to hear about how sick your kids are. So maybe Thabto's MUG might help get my point across. Available in both blood stain and butterfly (wtf?) models, the mugs resemble brass knuckles. Except they're ceramic and will probably shatter into your hand if you ever try to punch someone. While I admire where this product was going, I think there's a much better way to let people know how tough you are and that you should be avoided during coffee socials. Two words: territorial pissing. I come down when the social starts, get my coffee, and then urinate in the corner by the vending machines. Nobody comes within eight feet of me. Hell, most people leave altogether. But just to be safe I still wave a knife around.
Brass Knuckle Cups (Part II) - Thabto MUG [trendhunter]
Thanks to Sebastian, who is lucky enough to be able to kill people with a look, for the tip
