Oct 26 2009 What Could Go Wrong?: Razor Blade Soap

Razor blade soap is exactly what it sounds like, unless you thought it was razor blade shaped soap, in which case it's not. No, razor blade soap has an actual razor blade inside. A nice rusty one. But don't worry -- you'll bleed out well before the lockjaw sets in. Available for $7/bar, it makes the perfect gift for that special someone in the slammer. Alternatively, Polish roulette!

Razor Blade Soap Puts Your Nipples At Risk [nerdapproved]

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who once made soap with a revolver inside and shot himself in the butt. Use a wash cloth, bro.

Oct 25 2009 I'd Wash My Mouth Out With It: Bacon Soap

This bacon soap isn't just bacon shaped, it's made with bacon fat. But how do you keep yourself from eating it in the shower? I don't think you can!

Soap can be made from just about any kind of fat. Even though fat from bacon, called lard, isn't the finest of fats to use for making soap, it somehow seemed to be the most exciting. Why? Because bacon is amazing. It has an almost mystical power to it and is a food that can be craved to almost no end. I figured what better way use the extra grease I had from cooking bacon then to turn it into soap!

If you want make some, there's an Instructable posted with all the details you need to Tyler Durden it up yourself. Unfortunately, I could never do it -- I like to drink all the fat out of pan after cooking. It scalds so good!

How to Make Bacon Soap [instructables]

Thanks to naas, who once made fried chicken soap and ate a thigh and two drumsticks sitting on the can one morning.

Jun 1 2009 Prison: Don't Drop The Soap Knuckles

This is soap shaped like brass knuckles. It's equally suited for punching yourself in the taint or fighting off would-be lovers in the prison shower. Which, miss you Big Bear.

Brass Knuckle Soap Allows You To Punch Up a Good Lather [gizmodo]

Thanks to pstone, who made me his bitch.

May 21 2009 Well It's About Freaking Time: Tetris Soap

Tetris soap is tetrad shaped soap pieces that make a perfect addition to the seashell soaps in your guest bathroom that I'm never sure if I'm supposed to use but do anyway. They're made by Digital Soaps, the same folks that brought us the video game controller soaps. 8 ounces of tetrads will set you back $10, but they also have little Space Invader bars that will run you $10.50 for 24 pieces. Hit the jump to see more of both. Then, go with the tetrads. Trust me: L pieces were practically made for the gooch.

Hit it for a bunch more cleanliness.

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Mar 25 2009 Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail!

Well folks, I just got back from the doctor and am happy to announce I don't have inoperable thyroid cancer. However, I am unhappy to announce I came out from the anesthesia with my boxers on backwards. Just saying, I thought the thyroid was in my neck. But what do I know, I'm no doctor. Anyway, this is Etsy seller Digitalsoap's latest in peripheral cleaning products. If you can recall the last controller soaps we featured, they were a solid color. These ones have more detail. An XBox lather will set you back 12 credits, and a NES bar 9. Just don't drop it! Because we all know what happens if you drop the soap, don't we? We do -- you dent a corner and then it'll look stupid. Also, another inmate takes camera phone pictures of your iHole. Pfft, I've seen Oz.

Hit the jump for the NES controller.

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Feb 18 2009 Smell Gamey? You Need Playstation Soap

So check it: you smell like ass. I'm serious, you're reeking up the interwebz. You need to get yourself some $5 Playstation controller soap from Etsy seller Digitalsoaps. Looking for something a little old schooler? No problem, they sell $8 NES controller bars as well, in such exotic flavors as pink sugar, juicy watermelon, apple jack and peel, coconut lime verbena, dragon's blood, and unicorn's semen. On a side note, when I get ripe my pits smell like really onion-y chili-cheese dogs. Your musk is different. But I like your natural pheromones. I think I'm attracted to you. Kiss me. Did you feel any chemistry? I felt some. It felt like your boob. I copped a feel!

Hit the jump to see the NES controller soap.

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Jun 20 2008 Blood Soap Is Cool, I Want Some In My Mouth

Clue brand Blood soap has red coloring added so it looks like you're cleaning blood off your hands whenever you go to wash them. It's an awesome idea and my mommy says I should wash my mouth out with rat poison because I use lots of dirty words. I want some, unfortunately I've got the feeling it isn't real. It should be though, because I'd buy some. Or, I dunno, just keep cutting myself.

Clue: Blood soap dispenser [make]

Thanks Shawn, now lets make this stuff in hand sanitizer form so we can take it anywhere.

May 14 2008 Killer Robots Abound At Maker Faire

Michael, a brave member of my underground anti-robot coalition, the Fairly Unorganized Brotherhood Of Technology Saboteurs (FU-BOTS) did a little reconnaissance work at the recent Makers Faire to scope out our potential robotic killers. He brought along his trusty bowtie spy camera and sent me these exclusive pictures via messenger pigeon. As I've been screaming atop my soapbox forever now, we're seriously funked. Definitely hit the jump to see some of the carnage, including a robot tearing apart mannequins for practice, one about to rip an old woman's head off with its pincers, a scorpion-bot that has already cut someone's leg off, and a Birdo-inspired gunning robot. Now if I've said it once I've probably said it at least three times, people need to stop making these damn things. While Carzilla was certainly cool to see at that monster truck rally when I was six, this shit has gotten seriously out of hand -- and into limb-tearing claws. So I have no choice but to open membership to FU-BOTS to anyone who takes a pledge of robotic sabotage. Please send your applications to:

NOTE: All applications must include a picture of you destroying something metallic.

UPDATE: Another reader, Ian, has sent in some more exclusive pictures including a kid-eating giraffe, a flame spewing human destroyer, an Arnold Schwarzenegger robot crushing the earth, and a pretty scary cupcake.

Hit the jump for all the pics, but be warned -- it's a vision of the future.

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Apr 17 2008 Flogos Are Logos That Float Like Clouds

You know when you go to the beach there are those little planes that fly over with the signs trailing behind that tell about awesome all you can eat shrimp deals? I love those. But that's not what these are, these are another sky-based advertising scheme. They're called Flogos, and they're soap bubble formations filled with helium that float your logo around like a balloon. They can be made in 24", 36", and soon to be 46" diameters using some sort of modified artificial snow machine (see videos of them being made here) at a rate of one Flogo every 15 seconds. Each can travel up to 30 miles and go as high as 20,000 feet. Dyed Flogos will be available sometime in 2009, but aren't as cool as Zubbles. Let's see, what else? Oh, rental of a machine starts at about $2,500/day. Which is a lot for logo shaped clouds that, after an hour, disintegrate into a messy foam party in Cancun where I got an eye infection and lost a sandal.

Flogos Site
via
Is it a bird? A plane? No, it's a Flogo! [msnbc]

Thanks to Chad, who floats like a butterfly and stings like a taser to the face, for the tip

Apr 4 2008 Printer Tattoos Provide Instant Street Cred

A company is selling printer paper that can be used to make temporary tattoos. You just Photoshop yourself a wicked skull and crossbones or unicorn, and you're good to go.

Once it's printed you just need to apply an adhesive sheet to the printout and smooth out any bubbles. When you remove the adhesive sheet, the printed tattoo will be left with a sticky surface allowing it to be applied to your skin with a wet sponge. The tattoos are water-based and non-toxic, so while they'll stick around for about a week if you avoid bathing or showering, they can easily be removed with just soap and water.

Each sheet costs $5. While this is pretty neat for kids under the age of 10, if you want to earn real street cred you need to do what I did: Get in a bar fight and kill some dude with a highball glass. Then make sure to be represented in court by a public defendant so you're guaranteed a max sentence. While you're in prison kill somebody else (go for someone small) and get your cellmate to tattoo a blue tear under your eye using a sharpened spork from the cafeteria. Presto -- when you're out of the slammer everyone knows you killed somebody. Sure you may lose your virginity in the communal shower, but hey, it's all part of the experience.

Inkjet Tattoo Paper Is Another Way To Avoid Those Painful Needles [ohgizmo]

Jan 3 2008 Caffeine Soap Wakes You Up In The Shower

Well I've known about caffeinated soap for a little while now, but since this tip comes from a very trustworthy source, I'll assume there are many of you out there that haven't. Shower Shock is soap with caffeine in it. You rub it all over that sexy naked body of yours, and next thing you know, BOOM, you're wide awake. Simple as that. Each 4 oz bar has approximately 12 200mg caffeine servings. One bar costs $7 but price decreases the more you buy, down to $38 for ten bars. They come with a warning not to eat them, which is ridiculous, because who the hell would eat a bar of soap anyways (you excluded)? However they don't come with a warning about not jamming four bars up your ass, which is what I did. I haven't slept since '06.

Thinkgeek Product Page

thanks to Raul, who enjoys fast cars and beautiful women regularly, for the tip

Jul 12 2007 Handsoap

Is your regular hand soap just not creepy enough? Then get a bag of Handsoap, which is hand soap shaped into little baby hands. Each 'hand' is hand made out of goat’s milk glycerin and has a light scent. You can get a bag for $12 but, I mean, why?

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