Mar 13 2009 Vroom Vroom: Pow-Pow-POWER WHEELS!
This is a video of some folks riding over-powered Power Wheels. It looks like they're having about as much fun as one can have in the snow without a Woolly Mammoth. Which, I am happy to announce, is like *this close* to being cloned. Suffice it to say SOMEBODY has been loading up on Trojan Magnums -- and I think it's you!
Over-Powered Power Wheels [liveleak]
Thanks to Julian, who drove his Power Wheels right into a telephone pole and lived to come back and cut the pole down with a chainsaw.
Mar 12 2009 Thrill Seekers: A Ski-Jump Bathroom Stall
This is a bathroom stall in some Japanese ski resort that actually serves as an advertisement for a Coca-Cola coffee product (ad on toilet paper holder and back wall). As you can see, it was designed to look like a realistic ski-jump (or dump), complete with skis painted on the ground and everything. You just sit down, close your eyes, and imagine you're atop the mountain, ready to launch yourself off a cliff. Then open them and realize you've thrown yourself off the seat and shit on your leg.
Another picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " Thrill Seekers: A Ski-Jump Bathroom Stall "
Dec 23 2008 Santa, Quick!: A Millennium Falcon Sled
It's a well known fact that Santa hates my guts because I caught him boning a reindeer one foggy Christmas Eve while I was trying to piss my name in the snow (not Rudolph though, it was dark). So I'm probably not gonna get anything, but I figured I'd try anyways.
Santa,
Just writing to inform you of a last minute gift idea for yours truly -- a moderately priced ($35) Millennium Falcon sled. Thank you for your time and consideration.Sincerely,
The Geekologie Writer
P.S. If you do not comply I will be forced to fly your reindeer to the moon, where they will die -- flying reindeer can't breathe in outer space!
Damn I write a good letter.
Star Wars Millennium Falcon Sled [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Pat, who's holding out for an AT-AT sled.
Dec 23 2008 60,000 Piece LEGO Hoth Battle Diorama
Sorry for the unusual lack of postage in the past few days, folks. I've been traveling my ass off (read: cover up for male enhancement surgery) and had to post via message in a bottle. But I'm back and ready to Geek the ologie. Look out! Anyway, Mark Borlase went and built himself a wicked Hoth battle diorama out of 60,000 LEGO blocks. Sure most of those are contained in the massive cave, but still, damn.
As the headline says, the 5′X10′ diorama is comprised of 60,000 Lego bricks. It cost creator Mark Borlase about $3,000 and four years of construction time to complete.
There's also the 50 LED lights that illuminate the Echo Base hangar and bacta tank with a soothing blue. Motorized AT-AT wenches and a fully operational hanger door top off this gorgeous pile of eye candy.
Four years of construction! The freaking Egyptian pyramids were built in less time (note to self: verify this). Seriously though, Mark, great freaking job. Mind if I come over and PEW PEW with the diorama a bit? Oh come on, I'll bring cookies. Laced cookies. Haha -- you got me, they're just doilies.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a link to the massive Flickr gallery.
Dec 2 2008 Wait, What?: A Gas-Powered Snowboard
Hammacher Schlongmeister, purveyor of the utterly ridiculous, is selling a gas-powered snowboard this year. Because, you know -- shit, beats me.
This is the gas-powered vehicle that combines the thrill of riding a snowmobile and the freedom of a snowboard, enabling you to surf effortlessly over the deepest fresh powder or on packed, granular snow. Powered by a 6 1/2-hp four-cycle gasoline engine that starts with a pull, it can accommodate riders up to 250 lbs. and has a maximum speed of 18 mph, operating up to two hours on only 3/4-gallon of gasoline.
All that and it'll only set you back $2,000. They're practically giving them away! And as a guy who's broken his arm snowboarding, I've got to admit: two grand is a small price to pay to shatter it again. *CRUNCH* I can see the bone!
Gas-powered snowboard secures your dominance over nature [dvice]
Nov 26 2008 Remember: Drive Safely This Holiday Season
With the holidays rapidly approaching (read: Thanksgiving's tomorrow) there's a whole lot of traveling going on. And for those of you that will be out on the roads -- be careful. Winter weather is upon us, and so are all the crazies. So be safe, and don't drive like this. You know, like a woman. OH SNAP! Haha, now my girlfriend is kicking me in the nuts. It kind of hurts and feels good at the same time. Okay, that one just hurt. Honey, please, not the rolling pin!
Hit the jump for another one. But seriously folks, be safe, they've banned Geekologie in most hospitals.
Continue Reading " Remember: Drive Safely This Holiday Season "
Nov 25 2008 Google Employees Create Spreadsheet Art
This is a time-lapse video of three Google employees creating an 18,600 cell mosaic in a spreadsheet. As you will see, it has a nice wintry theme. Namely, snowflakes. Personally, I would have gone with Frosty bending Santa over his sleigh for not bringing him the new corncob pipe he wanted, while Mrs. Claus watches from the kitchen window and bakes those delicious cookies of hers. But I don't get paid to sit around and make spreadsheet art. I get paid to sit around and desecrate your Christmas memories. Happy holidays bitches!
18,600-Cell Spreadsheet Mosaic Captured On Time-Lapse Video [gizmodo]
Thanks to Harrison, who's allegedly keeping Frosty's head alive in his freezer.
Oct 20 2008 Explorers Find Alleged Yeti Footprint
On the left, a human footprint, and on the right, an alleged Yeti footprint. And possibly a turd. Japanese explorers stumbled across the print on an expedition in the Himalayas to track down the elusive beast.
The large hairy creature resembling a human or bear is said to live in the regions of Nepal and Tibet. While the scientific community largely regards the creature as folklore, given the lack of evidence, reports of the yeti go back hundreds of years.
Yoshiteru Takahashi, the leader of the Yeti Project Nepal, made the discovery leading his Japanese team's third attempt at tracking down the half-man-half-ape.
Half-man, half-ape, huh? Somebody's developing a new crush!
"Yeti" Footprints Discovered, Japanese Explorers Claim [huffingtonpost]
Oct 3 2008 Burton Releases Series Of Sexy Snowboards
Burton Snowboard's new Love series was made in cooperation with Playboy and feature busty centerfold pictures. Because let's face it, what could be cooler than cruising down the mountain on a booby-covered board? Ha, no, not dead hookerboarding, although....
Burton Love Series Snowboards [highsnobiety]
Thanks to Jo Mama, who knows I love the rich, chocolatey taste of Ovaltine.
Jun 20 2008 Here Grandma, I Got You A Pretty Snow Globe
Snow globes are glass spheres filled with little scenes and some plastic snow that whirls around when you shake the thing. These ones just happen to be filled with very unusual scenes. Like, well, a police officer putting a bullet in some dude's melon. There's a shit-ton more after the jump, which I suggest you peruse because I just spent like thirty hundred billion hour-years editing them and posting them for you. They were all made by artists Walter Martin and Paloma Munoz and are part of a limited edition of 250 pieces. Each goes for about $750.
These two artists have been working together since 1993. They sculpt miniature figures set in snowy outside scenes that depict sometimes horrible situations. Each snow globe tells a story and it's up to the viewer to fill in the blanks of those stories. Some of these miniature people seem trapped in a fairy-tale like story.
So what's the story behind the scene in that globe? My guess is an officer is practicing his close range shooting skills on the back of some guy's head while another copper watches and, quite possibly, gets aroused. Freaking classic, just like mom used to read me before bed.
Hit the jump for a ton more (men throwing kids down a well, gun toting grandmas, etc.) and feel free to fill in the stories if you want.
Continue Reading " Here Grandma, I Got You A Pretty Snow Globe "
Jun 18 2008 Gnar Wars: A Star Wars Snowboarding Video
Gnar Wars is a Star Wars themed snowboarding video. It features lightsaber battles, Boba Fett getting his dome piece chopped off, and even some wily Jawa bastards. It's worth a view. But not the repeated viewing that my Star Wars themed sports video deserves. It's called Par Wars , and it's golf themed! It mostly consists of a buddy and I waving around 7-iron urinesabers and trying to douse each other with the contents. We're a class act. The must see finale even features the destruction of the Death Bar (the name we gave the clubhouse bar after they refused to serve us anymore). We flew an X-Wing Fighter (golf cart) straight through that bitch and shot proton torpedoes (golf balls) at the main reactor (bartender). KA-BOOM!
Star Wars Snowboarding [/film]
Thanks Shawn, now if you'll excuse me I'm off to shred some gnarly pow-pow (that's code for do drugs).
Feb 28 2008 Doomsday Seedbank Is Ready For Storage
The Svalbard Global Seed Vault in Longyearbyen, Norway is officialy open for business and ready to start collecting seeds. The vault will hold over 100 million seeds from all over the world in case the world (except Norway) explodes or is otherwise torn to shreds. The whole compound is made of fortified concrete and can withstand "nuclear missile attacks or a plunging plane." Well this is great news for the Geekologie writer, and I, for one, have already sent in several samples of my seed. *wink, wink* You catch my drift? It's a tomato hybrid I developed myself, I'm really proud.
A ton more pictures of the compound after the jump.
Jan 3 2008 Japanese Robot Turns Snow To Bricks Of Ice
Yuki-taro is a Japanese robot that runs down the street taking in snow and turning it into bricks of ice that he stacks on a shelf behind him. He's loaded with two video cameras and a GPS tracking system to help insure he doesn't make ice blocks out of any homeless that may be sleeping in the snowbank he's working on. No word on what the Japanese use the ice blocks for, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say for a sweet ice-domino knock-down. Because that's the only thing that makes sense. Oh, and this was on Foxnews with the title 'Robot Eats Snow, Poops Out Bricks of Ice'. I mean, wtf? Where the hell is Fox's journalistic integrity? Who uses 'poops out' in the title of a serious news story about a robot? Next on Foxnews: Man snarfs world's largest burger, totally blows chunks and still manages to take record-breaking crapola.
Japanese Robot Eats Snow, Poops Out Bricks of Ice [foxnews]
A big thanks to Brytne, who gets two thumbs up, for the tip
Dec 19 2007 Sno-Baller Makes Very Round Snowballs
Now I love a good snowball fight as much as the next 1st grader, but I don't know how I feel about the Sno-Baller. It's a molded piece of plastic that costs $9 and forms balls of snow so you don't have to use your hands. While using it may allow you to make more balls, I'll be making better balls. And it only takes one really good snowball to send you to the hospital. You know, one with a big freaking rock in the middle.
Sno-Baller For Perfect Snowballs [ohgizmo]
Dec 4 2007 Sled Has Shocks, Is Fast, Foldable, Costly
The Alu High-Tech Sledge is a pretty wicked sled. It has a 6 3/4" shock absorber to protect your ass from bumps when flying down hills at break-neck speeds. The absorber can even be adjusted for the different weights of riders and the terrain you'll be tackling. The runners can be waxed just like skis so you can go fast as shit, and the thing folds to only 6 1/3" tall when not in use. Awesome right? Well it better be for a staggering $640. Just slap a good coat of non-nutritive food varnish on the runners and you'll be breaking the Griswald Family Land Speed Record in no time.
Fold Away Sled With Shocks [notcot]
Nov 21 2007 Polymer Snow Debuts At Ski Resort In Texas!
Texas based Bearfire Resort is using Snowflex, a polymer-based snow substitute, to cover its ski trails. The resort hopes to be operational by '09, and will offer year round skiing and snowboarding. So yeah, that's wack. It just won't be the same urinating your name in the snow anymore. Because it won't be snow. It'll be plastic. And peeing in plastic is only fun on long car trips. You know, when you don't want to pull over and happen to have a half empty Gatorade bottle handy.
Polymer-based snow = skiing cowboys [core77]
