Sep 11 2009 9/11: The World Trade Center From Space

This is a picture of the World Trade Center after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, taken by current commander of the International Space Station at the time, Frank Culbertson. Damn, has it really been eight years? Remember.

The World Trade Center Terrorist Attack from Space [gizmodo]

Sep 1 2009 Volcano-y: Time Lapse Footage Of LA Wildfires

This is some time lapse footage of the LA wildfires as shot by photographer Brandon Riza. As you will see, they are super smokey. And not smokey like "and the bandit" either. Like fire-smokey. And where there's smoke there's....say -- mind if I hit that? Fun fact: Smokey the Bear secretly gets high BUT WILL ONLY USE A VAPORIZER.

Brandon Riza
via
Amazing, and scary, timelapse footage of the Los Angeles Station fire [agentmlovestacos]

Aug 24 2009 Eye Candy: Beautiful Dancing Smoke Video

This is a video created by Esteban Diácono to the music of Olafur Arnalds' Ljósið using "Adobe After Effects, particular v2, soundkeys and a little starglow". It's basically a bunch of smoke dancing around. But not like that shit in Lost!

i first imported the audio and set up 2 sounkeys layers, one for the piano and one for the strings. Then i worked the particles and the particle subsystem and linked things like the emission, the turbulence, the velocity, the spin amplitude and the strenght of the fields to the soundkeys outputs. Then i set up the colors with 2 different palettes, and well, after that there was a lot of trial and error in order to achieve what i was looking for. There's a lot of randomness involved in here, so there was also a lot of luck, of course.

I don't really understand any of that, but what's new? The important thing is that you just got paid for watching a three and a half minute video at work. High five!

The most amazing, beautiful and realistic piece of computer art I have ever seen [thenextweb]

Thanks to Andrew, who once inhaled some of that smoke and got all high as a kite and forgot to catch the bus.

Mar 3 2009 Failure At Life Stuffs Six-Month Old Kitten In World's Worst Homemade Bong To 'Calm It'

20-year old Acea Shomaker is a failure at life who shouldn't even be allowed to have a cat. I mean Jesus, just look at that bong. Pathetic.

Deputies discovered the cat trapped in the device after responding to a domestic disturbance call at a home that Schomaker shares with his grandfather, Sgt. Andy Stebbing said.

Deputies resolved the dispute and left the house, but they returned minutes later after discovering there was an arrest warrant on Schomaker that alleged possession of drug paraphernalia.

Upon re-entering the house, deputies saw Schomaker smoking marijuana through a piece of garden hose duct-taped to a Plexiglass box, in which the cat had been stuffed, Stebbing said.

Shomaker told police the cat was too hyper and he was just trying to calm it down. The kitten is now in good condition in the care of Capital Humane Society. Wow. Now I'm all about some vigilante justice, so I suggest we dose Shomaker with a taste of his own medicine. Namely, we stuff him in a Rubbermaid full of acid. And not the happy face-melting kind either. I'm talking the real face-melting stuff -- that hydrochloric joint. IT BUUUUUURNS!

Hit the jump to see the kitty and the face of a failure.

Continue Reading " Failure At Life Stuffs Six-Month Old Kitten In World's Worst Homemade Bong To 'Calm It' "

Feb 10 2009 ZOMG, I'm Bidding: Mr. Miyagi's Stuff On eBay

Pat Morita, best known for portraying Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid series, passed away in 2005. And somewhere, in heaven, he's still catching flies with chopsticks. And somewhere, here on earth (Las Vegas, Nevada), his widow is selling his personal effects on eBay. This happens to be a Viking pipe puffed on by Mr. Miyagi himself -- I'm bidding!

YOU ARE BIDDING ON A GREAT PIECE FROM THE ESTATE OF LATE ACTOR PAT MORITA. I AM THE WIDOW AND TRUSTEE OF HIS ESTATE. I HAVE BEEN OFFERING FILM MEMORABILIA. AFTER MANY REQUESTS TO LIST SOME OF HIS PERSONAL EFFECTS I HAVE BEEN DOING SO RECENTLY.

OFFERED HERE IS A GENUINE MEERSCHAUM SMOKING PIPE WITH THE ORIGNAL FELT LINED CASE. THE PIPE WAS USED VERY LITTLE BY MR. MORITA. I PURCHASED IT AS A GIFT TO HIM FOR HIS BIRTHDAY ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO. HE ALWAYS USED TO SAY "THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE USED" BUT HE ENJOYED IT NEVER THE LESS.

Haha, "enjoyed it never the less" is right. She's talking about that reefer. You know, marijuana. And, in honor of Mr. Miyagi, I am buying this pipe, getting high, and waxing my car. Who's with me? Okay good, you bring the weed and elbow grease.

eBay Auction
and
Mr. Miyagi's other auctions

Thanks to Kyle, who allegedly owns Mr. Miyagi's headband. I'll fight you for it!

Feb 9 2009 What Happens When Bird Meets Jet Engine

This is a test demonstrating what happens when a foreign object enters a jet engine before buying it dinner first.

Wide Body, Blade-Out Jet Engine Test. Short video showing what happens when a foreign object such as a large bird is ingested in a jet engine. You don't want to be onboard!!!! The joke during training was that you could ingest a 5 lb. bird at 250 kts.......... or a 250 lb bird at 5 kts. They actually have a "chicken gun" they use to fire the chickens into the engines for these tests.

Oh man, just imagine if -- wait, did that just say chicken gun? I want a chicken gun.

UPDATE: So apparently this isn't the chicken gun test after all. Youtube user dknric is a liar! Just like your parents -- you were adopted.

Youtube

Thanks to Ain, who once sucked a mourning dove into his jetpack's engine and had to crash land in a tree, where he befriended a squirrel. Yay for happy endings!

Jan 29 2009 Swiss Pot Farmers Busted Via Google Earth

Swiss police happened upon a 'marijuana plantation' while viewing parts of the countryside via Google Earth. 16 people have been arrested, and 1.2 tons of marijuana and $780,000 in cash and valuables confiscated.

The plantation, measuring almost two acres, was hidden inside a field of corn. But officers using Google Earth to locate the address of two farmers suspected of involvement in the drug operation quickly spotted the illegal crop.

The gang is alleged to have sold up to7.7 US tons of hashish and marijuana between 2004 and 2008, with an annual turnover of 3-10 million francs a year, officials said.

Damnit Switzerland, whatever happened to being neutral? I mean, it was just a little chronic. Okay, probably schwag. Whichever the case, I'm still boycotting your knives.

Police Google farmers, find marijuana field [msnbc]

Thanks to chad, the man, not the country.

Dec 6 2008 Dude, Stop Boggarting The Stash: 2,700 Year Old Pot Found Buried In Gobi Desert Grave

Scientists unearthed two pounds of chronic in a Gobi Desert grave this week. The herb, which is believed to have been buried some 2,700 years ago, breaks the previous record for oldest marijuana stash by 2,700 years.

The size of seeds mixed in with the leaves, along with their color and other characteristics, indicate the marijuana came from a cultivated strain. Before the burial, someone had carefully picked out all of the male plant parts, which are less psychoactive, so Russo and his team believe there is little doubt as to why the cannabis was grown.

No shit there's little doubt why the cannabis was grown.

What is in question, however, is how the marijuana was administered, since no pipes or other objects associated with smoking were found in the grave.

Three words folks: up the ass. Try it sometime.

World's oldest marijuana stash totally busted [msnbc]

Thanks to Eric and Matty, who know to pass to the left.

Oct 17 2008 Crown 7 'Hydro' Smokeless Cigarette

Well Crown 7 is at it again, this time with a new smokeless cigarette, the Hydro ($80). What's so hydro about it eludes me, but it has something to do with water vapor. Anyway, like their other models, the device delivers nicotine but no smoke or carcinogens and is sadly not a bong. But you can "smoke" it anywhere. Like in the boy's room. Or, alternatively, the girl's room. But not your parent's room -- they might be doing it! I'm still passing though, because I only smoke pole. HAHA! But seriously, does that make me gay?

Product Site

Oct 9 2008 German Artist To Smoke Kurt Cobain's Ashes

German artist Natascha Stellmach has allegedly acquired Kurt Cobain's ashes after they were stolen from Courtney Love's home, where she had been keeping them in a pink teddy bear.

The artist is keeping mum about how exactly she came to be in possession of the remains. She tells Artworld magazine, "That's confidential and kind of magic. They came to me. And I am setting him free."

In a statement announcing her find, Berlin-based Stellmach has detailed her plans to smoke the ashes as part of the forthcoming Set Me Free exhibition at the city's Wagner + Partner gallery on October 11th.

Wow, can you really get high smoking someone's ashes?

UPDATE: Not my grandma's!

German Artist To 'Smoke' Kurt Cobain's Ashes [mtv]

Thanks to Sean, who only smokes asses. If that's cool. If not, then something else.

Jul 28 2008 Kids Dig Up Corpse To Make Skull Bong

Wow, just wow. Kevin Wade and Mathew Richard, two 17-year olds from Houston, Texas, were recently arrested for abusing a corpse. They didn't try to have sex with it, but they did remove the skull to make a bong.

Police were interviewing Jones about the debit card fraud when he told them about the grave theft.

Asked why Jones would volunteer the information police sergeant John Chomiak said: 'We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind.'

Come on sergeant, the kids didn't mastermind a bank heist, they dug up a corpse to make a bong. I'm pretty confident there isn't shit going on in their heads.

Teens make human skull bong [metro]

Thanks Gypsy and Paige, now come over and we'll take GB's out of my roommate's fishtank.

Jun 11 2008 Romanian Fighter Jet Gets Hit By UFOs, Aliens Arrested For Flying Under The Influence

On October 31st, 2007 a Romanian Mig 21 Lancer was struck by not one but four UFOs and the government has now released footage of said incident. As can be unclearly seen in the untranslated video at 0:49 and 1:16, the aliens were flying what appear to be the black smoke from Lost when they hit the plane. Afterwards, the pilot was able to land the aircraft without incident.

Lt. Col. Nicolae Grigorie said a video recorded by cameras onboard the plane depicts "two solid bodies, which are not translucid." Grigorie said authorities are working to determine what the objects could have been. "They couldn't be birds because there are no birds in Europe able to fly so high. And they couldn't be ice bodies because it was a clear sky -- neither could they be pieces of another plane or a meteor," he said.

He said the government has ruled out rocket launches and ground artillery fires as causes of the incident.

When asked what he thought the objects were, Grigorie exclaimed, "F***ing aliens, yo! Tape your buttcheeks together before bed, the wonk eyed bastards are coming!"

UFOs hit Romanian plane [upi]

Thanks Mikal, I'm now officially adding aliens to my apocalyptic fears

Apr 16 2008 Japanese Cigarette Machine Asks For Your ID

You have to be 20 to smoke in Japan, but that hasn't stopped those younger than that from buying cigarettes (but not pot or other meds) from machines (which, unlike awesome robots, can't discern age). So now the Tobacco Institute of Japan has started rolling out machines that will only work after a "tobacco passport" age-verification card is swiped. What prevents Japanese schoolgirls from getting somebody else's card is very little, so I wonder how effective these will be. But what do I know? Did you say jack shit? Then you are absolutely correct, knew him in college. Well, his birth name is Jackamo Crapatonian, that was just a clever nickname we came up with.

Japanese Schoolgirl Watch: Tobacco Vending Machines Block Underage Smokers [wired]

Thanks to Melissa, who doesn't need an ID because everyone knows her, for the tip

Mar 28 2008 International Dance Party Box Has Radar, Rewards Your Dancing With Lights, Smoke

International Dance Party is a dance party in a box.

The machine comes as a large, non-suspicious looking flightcase. Internally, it is equipped with cutting edge radar sensing technology, an ear blasting state of the art 600W sound system, tons of psychedelic light and laser effects, and even a professional grade fog machine.

Through its dance activity radar, the International Dance Party detects and evaluates motion input from surrounding people in realtime. Several sophisticated transforming mechanisms let the flightcase turn into a powerful and boosting party machine, once the visitors start to dance within the machine's range of perception.

The audience controls the complexity of the generated music and the intensity of the light effects directly by the energy of its dance action. When there is no audience, or when the audience is not active enough, the machine stops its performance and transforms back into a transport crate.

Sweet, a fully functional dance party in a box! This is just what we need to take our apartment dance parties to the next level. That next level being anything better than our last dance party. Which, incidentally, was just my roommate grinding my ass after I passed out on the couch.

P.S.: Josh -- that shit was wrong. I want you to move out.

Worthwhile (but long) explanation and demo of the device after the jump.

Continue Reading " International Dance Party Box Has Radar, Rewards Your Dancing With Lights, Smoke "

Feb 4 2008 Turn Your Living Room Into A Shooting Range

Just the other day I was thinking how great it would be to shoot guns inside the house. Now thanks to the N Range Indoor Shooting System my dream can become reality. The systems range from $1,300 for the Standard, to $3,500 for the Executive one seen in the picture. The key to the system is the ammunition used, which requires you to use a special conversion barrel in your weapon (included). The projectiles used with the system contain no gunpowder.

The N Range™ proprietary target Ammunition is designed to provide you with a safe low velocity, low energy, low smoke and low noise round that enables full function of your firearm and provides realistic recoil. The round is a two-primer expanding cartridge design. This proprietary system makes it possible to use a large enough primer to expand the cartridge and cycle the firearm but not affect the charge of the separate smaller primer used to propel the aluminum projectile at the necessary low velocity for safe indoor use.

Wow, it's sounding less and less fun the more I read. So I'm just going to stop now. Low noise, low velocity, low energy, no gunpowder. It's like you're not even shooting a gun anymore. Sounds about as awesome as trying to knock an empty soda can off the top of the television with a rubber band. Which is what I'm doing now. I'd actually be watching television but I accidentally shot it back when discharging weapons indoors was still fun.

Product Page
via
"N Range" Indoor Target Range [boingboing]

Jan 14 2008 RockBand Stage Kit Is Absolutely Ridiculous

Well GameStop is now taking preorders for the RockBand Stage Kit that ships out on June 23rd. What is the Rockband Stage Kit you ask? Well, it's a $100 add-on to the game that provides an "interactive light and smoke stage show" synced to the game while you play. How awesome is that! Not very awesome is it? No, I guess not. Still, if you never made it in the music industry and want to get really really high and pretend you did, then it might help. And by "it might help" I mean it'll give you a seizure and make you tumble off the stage you built in your parent's basement.

rock band stage kit adds lights and smoke as you jam [technabob]

Sep 18 2007 Crown7 Cigarette Isn't Really A Cigarette

It's less a cigarette and more an electronic nicotine delivery system, seemingly an updated version of this thing. It doesn't produce any smoke, but does hit you with nicotine. It costs $100, and five replacement cartridges run $10. Each cartridge is allegedly the equivalent of two packs of cigarettes, so if you've ever wanted to OD on nicotine, I'd say this thing is your best bet. Neat idea, but I'll just stick to my Sherlock Holmes pipe. Because nothing says "I'm all class" like puffing on a pipe and ogling the ladies through a monocle.

Product Site [thanks to Chris, a man who the ladies find smokin', for the tip]