Jul 7 2009 "Smile Checks" Ensure Employees Are Happy And Ready For Work, Next: Metal Detectors

To ensure employees at Keihin Electric Express Railway in Japan are putting their best lip forward, the company has implemented a "smile check" policy, in which workers will be required to smile into a camera and have their mug subjected to software analysis of their happiness.

The device analyzes the facial characteristics of a person, including eye movements, lip curves and wrinkles, and rates a smile on a scale between 0 and 100 percent using a camera and computer.

For those with low scores, advice like "You still look too serious," or "Lift up your mouth corners," will be displayed on the screen.

Some 530 employees of the Tokyo-based railway company will check their smiles with Smile Scan before starting work each day. They will print out and carry around an image of their best smile in an attempt to remember it.

Wow. I smell discrimination. Or fire. Shit, yep that's definitely fire. HEEEEEELP! Wait a minute. *sniff* Pork chop sandwiches!

Your Smile Will Be Monitored To Evaluate Quality Of Service [io9]

Thanks to Trin, who once killed a robot with a smile. Brave move, Trin.

Dec 5 2007 Emoticon Stamp For Analog Correspondence

I rarely send analog letters anymore because it's too damn time consuming and my handwriting looks the same as it did when I was three. :-( Which isn't legible at all. :-D But if I did need to send something handwritten, maybe like a "Dear Jane" letter :'-( I'd certainly need this Transforming Emoticon Stamp from ThinkGeek ($6). :-P You just squeeze the handsome little devil to make a number of different emotions. X-) Because let's face it, the written word doesn't mean shit anymore without a liberal application of emoticons. Just sayin', I <3 ( . Y . )

Emoticon Transforming Stamp [ohgizmo]

Aug 20 2007 Smile Detecting Camera

Now I'm not a big fan of posting the latest camera or phone or what have you unless it has something real unique about it. And well, this one does (even if it is a sham and doesn't work and is a lie and is stupid). The new Sony Cybershot DSC-T200 has a smile detector. Don't believe it? You're not alone. But Sony insists.

Using Sony’s proprietary algorithm, this innovative intelligent auto shutter system responds actively to smiling faces. To start, just choose SmileShutter from Scene Selection, then press the shutter fully on the subject to be taken; the camera automatically detects the smiling face and closes the shutter. To detect the different degrees of smiles by your subject, you can set Smile Level sensitivity to “high” (to detect a faint smile), “medium” (for a normal smile), or “low” (for a hearty laugh).

While this sounds like a very interesting feature, I don't smile. The batteries will die in the camera and the earth will turn to dust before I do. Smiling is for the weak. Showing that much emotion in a photo basically means your mom dresses you and you're a monster sissy.