Nov 19 2009 About Time!: Improved Steering Wheel Desk

We saw another steering wheel desk here on Geekologie quite some time ago, but I think we can all agree this is a much improved model. First of all, you can write/type at a normal angle and not the angle of the actual wheel. As a matter of fact, I'm using one now, and I've got to admit: it's quite comfortable. Secondly, HOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Hit the jump for a bunch of other worthwhile product shots.

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Nov 17 2009 There's Got To Be An Easier Way: Guy Uses Crane-Lifted Lawnmower To Trim His Hedge

In a feat of extreme-mowing, two men in Cambridge, New Zealand used a crane to lift a lawnmower high enough to trim one's overgrown hedges. Nice, guys, I like the way you think -- EXXXTREME!!

The operator, who did not want to be named, is now nursing a broken hand, but said it wasn't a fall from the mower that caused the injury but one off the crane.

He admitted it was not the safest method of trimming the hedge, but said it was all done as a bit of a joke.

They wanted to film the stunt, put it on the internet and see how many hits it got, but in the end had no video camera.

That, my friends, is pathetic. Not only a broken hand BUT NO VIDEO. WTF?! I demand a re-do. But this time with fireworks shooting out the back. Oooh, and bikini girls. Plus more injuries. I suggest fraying the cables and loosening the mower blade. YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE CENTURY! And I want producer credit.

High rider trims his hedge [stuff]

Thanks to Patrick, who trims his hedge the old fashioned way: with a straight-razor. Yikes!

Jun 11 2009 DO NOT OUTBID ME: How To Sell A Washer

As we've learned in the past, personal selling takes skills. We've seen people do it right, and we've seen people do it horribly, horribly wrong. This is another example of successful selling.

Once while washing a load of towells it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the otherside and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held onto for my life to the deepfreeze. It sucked my shoes and pants off though and it got the iron as well which pissed me off because it was quite a good one. Luckily it sucked it's own power cord out of the wall and stopped before the whole house went in.

I drew a picture of the dinosaurs i saw incase people didn't believe me, they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through.

Well, it's been real folks, but I'm boldly going where no man has gone before. Pantless. DINO-RIIIIIIDERS!

Hit the jump to read the entire ad (which is actually mad long) and see the dinosaurs.

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Jun 10 2009 New Futuramas Coming To Comedy Central

Sad they stopped making new Futurama episodes? Well cry no more my puffy-eyed compadre, Comedy Central just signed a deal for 26 new episodes beginning mid-2010!

When the series returns with original episodes in 2010, it will be seven years after the show's last original episode aired on Fox. That's a much longer hiatus than the three years Family Guy spent on the bench before being summoned back by Fox.

All key voice cast members are expected to return for the new episodes, along with the series' core writing team.

Nice, now I can finally reignite my love-hate relationship with Bender. Good to see you again buddy, wanna drink? What am I saying -- I'll kill you! Unless you have naked pictures of Leela, in which case, BFFs!

I'll kill you in your sleep.

Comedy Central gives Futurama new future [abc]

Thanks to Rigo, Nick, Julian and Sarah-Ashton, who have never received a package from Planet Express on time.

May 26 2009 Sneak Preview: The Third Generation Kindle?

This is a sneak preview of the 3rd generation Kindle robot book. It's pretty much exactly what I expect to see Amazon roll out next year. And speaking of rolling out -- transform! I said transform! *touching breast* Stupid mannequin.

The Kindle 3 [collegehumor]

Thanks to Julian, who never learned to read and is already on the waiting list.

May 21 2009 Girl Miraculously Escapes Darwin Award Despite Diving In Front Of Truck For iPod

Apparently some 16-year old girl dove into traffic because she dropped her iPod in the street and had already blasted her remaining brains out at level 11 volume.

The girl was walking across the street on Tuesday when she dropped her iPod. She went back to grab it in moving traffic and was, unsurprisingly, hit by the approaching pickup truck. She suffered a broken leg, but hey, her iPod is OK!

Now this is the time where I close my eyes and daydream about being the person driving the truck. OH. UH-OH! LADY LOOK OU.... There were no survivors.

Brilliant Girl Jumps In Front of a Pickup Truck to Save iPod [gizmodo]

May 20 2009 Lights, Camera, LEGO: Plastic Movie Posters

In the same vein as the famous photo reproductions (and classic video games), this is a little gallery of movie posters made using LEGO blocks. I posted some of my favorites after the jump, but there are 21 in total (some of which were made by Flickr user Craig Lyons)so hit the link to see all of them if you're into that sort of thing. But, if you're into that other sort of thing, call me. I'm talking about sex with bloggers. Hey, a little experimentation never hurt anybody -- it just electrocuted a few lab rats. Ladies -- know what I'm sayin'?

Go on, hit it.

Continue Reading " Lights, Camera, LEGO: Plastic Movie Posters "

May 6 2009 My God That's Classy: The Redneck Tanktop

This picture, taken at what I assume was a NASCAR race, shows a redneck flaunting the latest in must-have summerwear, a, um, pair of underwear cut out to wear as a tank top. Unfortunately, there's no shot of what it looks like from the front, so we'll just have to use our imaginations. I'm imagining stained.

Ladies And Gentlemen - The Red Neck Tank Top [themovieblog]

Thanks to Dimi, who once wore a tube sock as a headband.

May 4 2009 Cool: Sampling Youtube To Make New Songs

What you are about to see is a mix of unrelated Youtube videos/clips editing together to create ThruYou. In other words - what you see is what you hear.

This is the first one of seven different tracks, so if you like it go check out the others. And if you don't, well, no one cares. But don't let that stop you from leaving a Geekologie comment complaining about it. We'll all pretend to care and/or believe you could do better, won't we guys? Guys? Ha, I guess we won't. Suck it!

ThruYou

Thanks to Riki, Amir and Patrick, who once sampled over 100 different candies in one day and all got tummy aches.

May 4 2009 Uh-Oh: A New 'Zombie' Strain Of Swine Flu

The BBC is reporting a new 'zombie' (H1Z1) strain of swine flu that is capable of resuscitating the recently dead. Holy sawed-off shotgun shit!

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it's victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during "resurrection."

If you haven't guessed, this is fake as hell, but the story looks like a genuine BBC article (see picture). The only catch is it's hosted on another website (bounce.with.me.uk). Still, you can probably trick at least a few of your dumber friends into buying it. And, if they do fall for it (and they are ladies), I want you to convey a message for me: I'm the world's greatest lover.

EU quarantines London in flu panic [bouncwith]

Thanks to herbert, Trin, Alex 'Bloody Shadow' and andrew, who tricked all their friends into drinking the Kool-Aid and are now all friendless.

Apr 24 2009 Best Business Cards Ever: Meat Cards

Meat Cards are business cards with your info burnt into them using a 150 watt CO2 laser. They are far superior to card stock for obvious reasons (read: meat and lasers).

Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients: MEAT AND LASERS.

Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.

Mmmm, meat and lasers: definitely two of the finest ingredients on earth. PEW PEW, NOM NOM! Now, blast me in the eye with your laser pointer right as I swallow. What? Don't judge me.

Meatcards

Thanks to Chloe and Julian for eating all my cards. No, really, thanks a lot guys.

Apr 2 2009 Good Stuff: Remakes Of The Peekaru Picture

Remember Peekaru, the $80 vest that makes it look like a young mutant is bursting forth from your bosom? Yeah, well the folks over at Emptees have a huge gallery of Photoshopped versions. I've included a few of my favorites after the jump, so check them out. Then hit the link at the bottom to see the entire Emptees gallery, which is slightly NSFW because there are two with boobs. But honestly, I barely noticed them. And I definitely didn't print them out in color. And I definitely didn't forget to go pick them up from the print....uh-oh.

UPDATE: What bullshit, printing out a picture of a boob IS NOT sexual harassment. I swear, some people. Oh well -- anybody hiring?

Hit it, toots.

Continue Reading " Good Stuff: Remakes Of The Peekaru Picture "

Mar 30 2009 Students Attempt Dinosaur Theft, Fail

A group of students, celebrating the end of a school course, decided to steal a life-size triceratops replica from the Dinosaur Museum in Dorchester, England. Unfortunately, they didn't get very far before being stopped by the man. Which is a shame, because I would have bought it from them on the black market.

Deciding to relocate it in the middle of a roundabout as a joke, they set about lifting the 20ft long and 10ft tall plastic triceratops. But just as they carried it off above their heads into the night, they were stopped in their tracks by a policeman.

The revellers were ordered to take the dinosaur back immediately otherwise they would have been arrested for theft and criminal damage.

The Dinosaur Museum in Dorchester is packed full of life-sized reconstructions of dinosaurs, alongside skeletons and fossils.

The museum's website says the models 'beg to be touched by little hands - and that is encouraged, as is the handling of some of the dinosaur fossils.'

What the? *booking flight to England* Hello, Dinosaur Museum? Yes, I was wondering about the possibility of renting out your facility for a private party. Number of guests? One. Also, is there a pharmacy nearby? I'm gonna need some lube. Oooh, and boner pills.

Hit the jump for one more of the sexy shenanigans.

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Mar 25 2009 Real Life Spider-Man Rescues Autistic Boy

A quick-thinking Thai fireman came to the rescue recently when he dressed as Spider-Man in order to coerce an 8-year old autistic student off a high ledge.

Teachers at a special needs school in Bangkok alerted authorities on Monday when an autistic pupil, scared of attending his first day at school, sat out on the third-floor ledge and refused to come inside, a police sergeant told AFP.

Despite teachers' efforts to beckon the boy inside, he refused to budge until his mother mentioned her son's love of superheroes, prompting fireman Sonchai Yoosabai to take a novel approach to the problem.

The rescuer dashed back to his fire station and made a quick change into a Spider-Man costume before returning to the boy, he said.

"I told him Spider-Man is here to rescue you, no monsters are going to attack you and I told him to walk slowly towards me as running could be dangerous," Somchai told local television.

The boy came to the masked hero without hesitation (I hope no candy vanners are reading this). Sonchai says the fire department keeps Spider-Man and Ultraman costumes to "liven up school fire drills", and also, "freaky deaky sex". Well PEW PEW to you too, Bangkok Fire Dept.

Thai fireman in 'spider-man' rescue of autistic boy [yahoonews]

Thanks to Joemo, Sam and Jason, who ask, "where were you, Iron Man?"

Feb 26 2009 Kid Designs Homeless Domes Out Of Trash

12-year old Max Wallack is a boy. A 12-year old one. Max Wallack, 12-year old boy, understands the plight of the homeless. Not really, because he's never been homeless, but he still feels for them all the same. Did I mention he's an inventor? 12-year old boy-inventor Max Wallack designed a homeless dome for the less fortunate, out of trash.

12-year-old Max Wallack stole the show at Design Squad's Trash to Treasure contest with his "Home Dome." The dome provides shelter for the homeless and is made from plastic, wire and packing peanuts.

This isn't his first big win. "When I was six," Max said, "I won an invention contest that included a trip to Chicago. While there, I saw homeless people living on streets, and beneath highways and underpasses. I felt very sorry for these people, and ever since then, felt that my goal and obligation was to find a way to help them. My invention improves the living conditions for homeless people, refugees, or disaster victims by giving them easy-to-assemble shelter."

Good looking, Max, I'm proud of you. It's a nice change to see a youngster finally using their superpowers for good. Because if I were you I'd have been x-ray visioning through all my teacher's shirts. ZOMG, check out the chest hair on that shop teacher -- it's like a forest!

Hit the jump for a video about Max and his invention.

Continue Reading " Kid Designs Homeless Domes Out Of Trash "

Feb 4 2009 Bill Gates Releases Swarm Of Mosquitos On Smart People. Surprisingly, I Don't Get Bitten

So apparently Bill Gates released a swarm of mosquitoes on an auditorium filled with smart, rich people (myself excluded) during a TED (Technology, Entertainment, and Design) conference.

Ending malaria is a particular passion of Gates's, whose Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has spent millions fighting the disease. But he apparently didn't feel like TED attendees were taking the threat seriously. "Not only poor people should experience this," Gates said as he let the bugs loose on his audience, according to Facebook manager Dave Morin. (eBay founder Pierre Omidyar and Twitter CEO Ev Williams confirm the report.)

Nice Bill, the only difference between your mosquitoes and the poor folks' is that theirs are carrying malaria. So that's kind of different. You want to cure malaria you got to give the rich people malaria. *shooting poison dart* Okay, that may have been herpes.

Bill Gates Unleashes Mosquito Swarm [valleywag]

Thanks to Chrissy, who once released a swarm of kickass on some jerk for throwing a spider on her.

Feb 4 2009 Klingon Robs 7-11 With Traditional Sword

Klingons: they can't be trusted. Proof positive: some mountain-head has been running around Colorado Springs robbing 7-11's with a BetleH, the traditional Klingon sword.

The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white male in his 20s, wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and wearing a black mask, entered the store with a sword.

A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N Union Blvd, where a male matching the previous description entered the store with a sword. He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk did not give him any money and the suspect left the store on foot.

Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon type sword, called a "BetleH."

Haha, and that highschool guidance counselor said you couldn't land a job based on extensive Star Trek knowledge. Screw you, Ms. Bench, who's laughing now?!

Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon Sword [thedenverchannel]

Thanks to Hector, who once robbed an Exxon station with one of their own pump handles.

Feb 4 2009 Mmmm: Sierra Nevada Is Making Bio-Fuel

There was a time in my life when I drank Sierra Nevada like it was my job. Sadly, I was fired. And now the company is making bio-fuel with beer leftovers.

Sierra Nevada, brewer of delicious beers, has purchased a MicroFueler, a contraption that produces ethanol from water, sugar and yeast. Yeast also happens to be a major byproduct of beer fermentation, allowing them to make fuel out of beer leftovers.

Sierra Nevada powers cars with beer leftovers [dvice]

Dec 26 2008 New Mercedes Feature Alerts Sleepy Drivers

Mercedes, in their unending quest to save the lives of the rich, is installing a new feature in its E class automobiles (sorry, you C class peasants are still f***ed).

Mercedes studied the brain waves of sleepy drivers, and matched those up with lackadaisical steering tendencies, resulting in a car that can sense if you're spacing out.

Attention Assist uses precision sensors on the steering column to watch your attention level, and if you start to fall asleep, it sounds an obnoxious alarm, accompanied by an icon in the middle of the speedometer suggesting that you pause for a cup of coffee.

No word on whether it can distinguish if you're just masturbating.

Mercedes cars now smart enough to wake up drowsy drivers [dvice]

Dec 11 2008 Geekologie Reader Ingenuity: The Ass Towel

I know not all of you readers are FAKE! asshats. I'm sure some of you are actually good people, who make a valued contribution to society. And some of you are straight pervs. And others, like reader David, are inventors. David developed a towel that helps solve the age-old "did I just wipe my face with ass?" conundrum.

I've had this idea for a while. I've come to the conclusion that I'm never getting around to getting it made, so I at least want it publicized.

An ordinary towel right? Correct.

But, it has a distinct blue square in a not so used area of the towel.

Maybe I'm a slob, but I usually don't get a new towel every single day. And, I've got to dry my entire body. Some of which don't always get 100% clean.

I dry my ass, then the next day I use that same spot on the towel to dry my face. There it is, and it sucks.

The blue square is the designated section of the towel to dry your ass.

Genius, David. This is exactly the kind of ingenuity I expect from Geekologie readers. I really want these made. Then I could finally stop drying my ass with my roommate's toothbrush.

Thanks David, remind me to bring my own towel to the slumber party.