Oct 30 2009 I'm Digging It: Anatomical Furniture Designs

This is a sweet furniture ensemble designed by Vladi Rapaport that features a skull chair, brain ottoman and spine lamp. I want them all. And by all I mean just the skull chair. But I want it throne-sized and it needs to shoot flames.

A collection of products inspired by the Dutch "vanitas" still life paintings from the 16th and 17th century. The characteristic type of symbolic still life painting is the one where the symbols of emptiness, time and death were placed on the canvas as a reminder of the vanity of one's earthly life.

Listen, I don't know about Dutch symbolism or whatever but I do know an ottoman I want to kick the hell out of when I see one. And that brain, my dear Watson, is one such ottoman. *kick kick* You like that? You will never build an empire!

Hit the jump for one more shot of the awesome.

Continue Reading " I'm Digging It: Anatomical Furniture Designs "

Oct 23 2009 Indiana Jones Action Figure (Plus Fridge!)

I never saw the new Indiana Jones movie because I prefer my childhood memories un-desecrated, but for those of you that did, and actually liked it, there's this $175 Kingdom of the Crystal Skull action figure. And it comes complete with the lead-lined fridge Indy uses to survive the nuclear blast! What an accessory! Unfortunately, it doesn't come with that fake apple, which is a shame because that was the only reason I was going to buy it. Oh, and why Indy's face looks like an orc from Lord of the Rings is beyond me. That ring belongs in a museum!

Product Site
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Commemorate The Worst Indiana Jones Scene With This Action Figure [nerdapproved]

Thanks to tom and Mark, who like a little lead in their vegetables because they want to be retarded.

Oct 15 2009 But I Wanted Braaains!: A Skull Cake Gallery

Because there's no better way to celebrate something than with a bitchin' skull cake, this is a little gallery of bitchin' skull cakes. I've decided I want a giant one for my next birthday. Except I want it to be on fire. And I want the Rockettes to leap out of that shit and kick-line me right in the face. Every last one of them, right in the face. And you know what I'll do? Spit out my teeth and smile. Hardcore, HARDCORE!

Hit the jump for the rest.

Continue Reading " But I Wanted Braaains!: A Skull Cake Gallery "

Jul 16 2009 *Ring* Hello -- Death?: Novelty Skull Phone

I honestly thought novelty phones went out of style when people stopped using land lines, but hey, maybe your grandparents want a damn skull phone. That's cool. Just don't let them get on the interwebs lest they hand their life savings over to a Nigerian prince. Anyway, the $25 Thriller Skull Phone from Brando is available in white and metallic copper finishes and has blue LED eyes that light up when the phone is ringing. Sadly, it's not even cordless. WHO THE HELL STILL USES CORDED PHONES? Fun fact: I saw a payphone the other day. Did you know we still had those? Me neither. There was a hooker standing nearby and everything.

brando's thriller skull phone: so this is what happened to skeletor [technabob]

Thanks to FDSY and cakey, who make all their calls the old fashioned way: by yelling.

May 5 2009 We Are Not Alone: Alien Skull Spotted On Mars

That's right folks, we now have 100% conclusive evidence there are, in fact, dead aliens on Mars. Or rocks, possibly just rocks.

Internet forums are full of chatter about the picture, taken by a panoramic NASA camera known as Spirit.

One alien-spotter speculated: "The skull is 15 cm with binocular eyes 5 cm apart. The cranial capacity is approximately 1400 cc.

"There appears to be a narrow pointed small mouth, so this creature most likely is a carnivore."

Another joked: "The coronal ridge shows ample structure to support the musculature of antennae, although none are visible in this view.

Joke now, but it's all fun and games until you wake up with an antennae in your you-know-what. And by 'you-know-what' I mean your girlfriend -- she's gonna cheat on you with an alien. Hey, don't cry, film it.

'Alien skull' spotted on Mars [telegraph]

Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck and Julian, whose relationships with Martian lovers have all ended the same: with them getting the shaft. The cold, metal shaft.

Oct 14 2008 I'm A Doctor!: Anatomy Of A LEGO Minifig

Jason Freeny, the man behind the anatomies of a balloon animal and gummi bear, is at it again, this time with a LEGO minifig. Who knew those little plastic bodies were so intricate on the inside? Not me, and I've melted several after dousing them with hairspray. Oh the figmanity!

Moist Production (Jason's official site)

Thanks to Jason, the man behind the magic, for pointing out he purposefully made the minifig's junk bigger than mine.

Sep 24 2008 Yikes!: A Creepy Pinhole Camera Skull

This pinhole camera was made out of a skull by artist Wayne Martin Belger, mwho may or may not dress entirely in black and scrawl pentagrams on the floor of his apartment in virgin's blood.

This work entitled Third Eye, a study of "the beauty of decay," uses precious metals like titanium and silver to expose the memory of time onto film, sheering the 150 year old skull of a 13 year old girl.

Wow, it doesn't get much creepier than that. Well, unless the skull still had a jawbone and said "Say cheese!" Jesus, I just gave myself goosebumps.

Hit the jump to see a scary picture taken with the thing.

Continue Reading " Yikes!: A Creepy Pinhole Camera Skull "

Sep 12 2008 I Want: A Skull Shaped Deprivation Chamber

The Sensory Deprivation Skull is a little room you climb into when your wife won't stop nagging you about "cutting the grass" and "getting a job". It effectively blocks out light and wife-banter and will eventually make you go crazy and possibly even masturbate to vivid hallucinations of Smurfette. Needless to say, I want one pretty bad. But if you're looking for the ultimate in sensory deprivation, I recommend you tie a black garbage bag over your head. You won't sense a thing....ever!

Note: Please nobody do that. I can't deal with another death on my conscience.

Hit it for one more picture of a sexy little lady crawling around inside your skull.

Continue Reading " I Want: A Skull Shaped Deprivation Chamber "

Jul 28 2008 Kids Dig Up Corpse To Make Skull Bong

Wow, just wow. Kevin Wade and Mathew Richard, two 17-year olds from Houston, Texas, were recently arrested for abusing a corpse. They didn't try to have sex with it, but they did remove the skull to make a bong.

Police were interviewing Jones about the debit card fraud when he told them about the grave theft.

Asked why Jones would volunteer the information police sergeant John Chomiak said: 'We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind.'

Come on sergeant, the kids didn't mastermind a bank heist, they dug up a corpse to make a bong. I'm pretty confident there isn't shit going on in their heads.

Teens make human skull bong [metro]

Thanks Gypsy and Paige, now come over and we'll take GB's out of my roommate's fishtank.

Apr 4 2008 Printer Tattoos Provide Instant Street Cred

A company is selling printer paper that can be used to make temporary tattoos. You just Photoshop yourself a wicked skull and crossbones or unicorn, and you're good to go.

Once it's printed you just need to apply an adhesive sheet to the printout and smooth out any bubbles. When you remove the adhesive sheet, the printed tattoo will be left with a sticky surface allowing it to be applied to your skin with a wet sponge. The tattoos are water-based and non-toxic, so while they'll stick around for about a week if you avoid bathing or showering, they can easily be removed with just soap and water.

Each sheet costs $5. While this is pretty neat for kids under the age of 10, if you want to earn real street cred you need to do what I did: Get in a bar fight and kill some dude with a highball glass. Then make sure to be represented in court by a public defendant so you're guaranteed a max sentence. While you're in prison kill somebody else (go for someone small) and get your cellmate to tattoo a blue tear under your eye using a sharpened spork from the cafeteria. Presto -- when you're out of the slammer everyone knows you killed somebody. Sure you may lose your virginity in the communal shower, but hey, it's all part of the experience.

Inkjet Tattoo Paper Is Another Way To Avoid Those Painful Needles [ohgizmo]

Mar 27 2008 Footlume Lights Up The Way With Butterflies

The Footlume is being developed at London South Bank University and will be displayed in London later this month. It's a rug. With lights that come on when you walk on it. That look like butterflies. It runs on rechargeable batteries and is questionable because what good is a lighted rug if, by the time it turns on, you're nowhere near it? Ah, for aesthetic purposes, I see. Well could I maybe get some skulls instead of butterflies? It's not that I don't like them, it's just that, well, they're a little feminine for my taste. Sure I wear Secret deodorant, but that's only because it doesn't leave stains on my white shirts. And its pH balance really works with my body.

Michael Jackson Was On To Something [albotas]

Jan 21 2008 Skull Speakers Add Nice Piratey Ambiance

So what we've got here are some relatively good looking skull speakers. As is evident from the photograph they glow blue when you turn them on and look like a cyclops with half its eye in its nose. As is not evident from the photograph, they cost $71.75 a pair and there's a matching webcam available. You know, I think they'll look pretty good in my pirate-themed office. Well, except I don't have a pirate-themed office. Hell, I don't even have an office. What I do have is a tapeworm.

skull speakers: how jack sparrow listens to his ipod [technabob]