Nov 19 2009 Modern Warfare 2 Crybaby's Music Video

NOTE: Video slightly NSFW due to adult language from a blimey 14-year old.

You ever wonder what else is going on in the world of a kid who will cry and punch the wall about a video game not living up to his expectations? Apparently a budding music career. And by budding I mean rotting. On the vine. You will never sell those tomatoes! Still, I did find myself kind of bobbing my head from 1:15 - 1:30 (the best part, plus I'm so high I feel like I'm typing with claws). But don't say his name -- he'll knock you out! Probably with rotten-tooth breath. BRING IT NANCY!

GuitarJono1170's Youtube Channel (with a ton of other crappy videos)

Thanks to Matt, who knifed this kid in Modern Warfare 2 and had him crying for days.

Nov 15 2009 Kid Sings Windows 7 Song At Talent Show

This is a video of fifth-grader Will Smith (of Fresh Prince fame) singing 'Windows 7 Rising', a song about the operating system sung to the tune of CCR's 'Bad Moon Rising', at what I assume is a school-sponsored talent show. He's pretty skilled and undoubtedly left the stage that night with a number of 8th grader's hearts in his jacket pocket. Which sadly isn't many BECAUSE THEY DON'T MAKE THOSE SUIT POCKETS FUNCTIONAL. And you know why? Government conspiracy. Same reason you're not allowed to drink at the DMV EVEN THOUGH YOUR MOM DROVE YOU.

The Best Windows 7 Song You'll Heart Today [gizmodo]

Oct 26 2009 The Lullabelly: Music To Your (Baby's) Ears

The Lullabelly is a prenatal (I love those vitamins!) musical belt that pregnant women can strap on and connect to an MP3 player so they can play tunes to their babies while the little tykes are in utero. It's supposed to make them smarter or something but it will probably just make them want a drum set when they're young and fill your house with cacophony and make daddy drink more (I say go for it).

There's a volume control dial so things don't get too loud as well as a pocket for holding your player, and the whole thing is machine washable, after you take out the easy-to-remove speaker of course. It's available in 3 different fabric patterns (pink, green or blue polka dots) directly from the Lullabelly website for $55.

Pregnant women are beautiful, aren't they? God, sometimes I wish I could experience childbirth. But not as a father -- as a mother. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Did I get anybody? You all know me too well.

Lullabelly Prenatal Music Belt [ohgizmo]

Oct 22 2009 I'm A Ninja, I Can Do That: Crazy Trampolining

This is a video of Oli Lemieux doing some wild ass trampolining plus wall walking and other ninja-y stuff while practicing for a Cirque du Soleil show. It's pretty cool but I could do it all twice as good but I would never film it because I'm modest. Also, the most handsome man on the planet.

Youtube

Thanks to The Gurr, MoD, Asbo and Jennie, who once jumped so high on a trampoline they showed up on radar and the government shot missiles at them.

Oct 21 2009 Holy Amazing: POP-UP Book LEGO Scene

This is a LEGO scene constructed in the form of a pop-up book. It's absolutely amazing and has a giant pagoda that folds together in the middle. I couldn't even imagine building something so impressive so I'm just going to hang my head in shame and cry into this pile of DUPLO blocks. Yes, DUPLO -- I'm not allowed to play with LEGO. IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO CHOKE ON THEM THEN WHY DO YOU MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE CANDY?!

Youtube

Thanks to david and Lee, who once popped out of a pop-up book at a birthday party and scared a bunch of children.

Oct 16 2009 Wicked Transformer Halloween Decorations

This is a video of some guy in Cleveland that made giant Bumblebee and Optimus Prime Halloween decorations. They are most impressive. Granted, some teenage jerks in the neighborhood are gonna wreck them, but they're still cool while they last. Not unlike snowmen. Which, funny story: last winter I saw one with a hotdog for a nose! I mean, who doesn't have carrots?!?! I suspect his eyes were dog turds.

Youtube

Thanks to kat, Dave and Paul, who are all ready to transform and trick-or-treat the hell out.

Oct 13 2009 I Said Protect The Leftovers!: Plasticdragon

Raise you hand if you like dragons. Whoa, that's a lot of hands. Okay, let's try this -- raise you hand if you don't like dragons. What the hell's the matter with you -- HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE DRAGONS!? What about Falkor the Luck Dragon? Yeah, I bet you feel stupid now, don't you? Well you should. Anyway, meet Plasticdragon. He's best friends with Metaldragon. Unfortunately, they had a falling out with Leatherdragon, which is a shame because dude's cool as shit.

A Dragon made entirely out of Plastic Kitchen Utencils (Spoons, Knives, Forks abd cups glued together using a glue gun)

approx 80 hours
material cost: all from 99 cent store

completely freestyle - no plans/blueprints/drafts

Plasticdragon was made by DeviantARTist ~toge-NYC and protects leftovers in the breakroom from hungry coworkers. Which is a good idea. Just sayin', you ever been stabbed with a plastic fork before? You have? Jesus, what were the circumstances?

~toge-NYC's DeviantART Page (with a nice high-res picture)

Thanks to sham, who doesn't need a dragon to guard her leftovers because she booby traps the fridge. Smart.

Oct 13 2009 It's Just So....Beautiful: Amazing Sand Art

This is the winner of the hit television series Ukraine's Got Talent, Kseniya Simonova, showing off her sand manipulating skills. And let me tell you, it's impressive. Almost as impressive as the time I made a three-bucket sandcastle at the beach before the ocean washed it away. DAMN YOU, POSEIDON, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!

Youtube

Thanks to Joemo, Misa, Harriet and naas, who have all kicked sand in an opponent's face during a fistfight.

Oct 3 2009 Needs More Cowbell: Geekologie Reader's Christopher Walken Ballpoint Portrait

This is a ballpoint pen portrait of everyone's favorite half-zombie Christopher Walken by loyal Geekologie Reader and comic book artist Jesse Starr. It was created in approximately 30 hours with no errors using nothing but black Bic ballpoint pens. Good lookin', Jesse -- I sure as hell could never do that. You see, I'm too prone to making mistakes. I'm looking at you, son. Kidding! But call your sisters in here so I can look at them.

UPDATE: Portrait is available for sale ($2K) on eBay HERE.

Hit the jump for two more shots of the impressiveness.

Continue Reading " Needs More Cowbell: Geekologie Reader's Christopher Walken Ballpoint Portrait "

Oct 2 2009 Kill It With A Toaster Oven!: WALL-E Sandwich

Anna the Red, best known for her incredible video-game themed Bento boxes, went and made a WALL-E on wheat. She has a tutorial on how to make your own over at her website if you're interested, so I went ahead and printed it out and gave it to my mom. Gosh, I hope I get a juicebox too!

Hit the jump for a couple more shots showing off WALL-E's 3-Dness.

Continue Reading " Kill It With A Toaster Oven!: WALL-E Sandwich "

Oct 2 2009 eBay: Amazing Optimus Prime Action Figure

Up on the auction block is a $45 Hasbro Optimus Prime action figure that's been meticulously modded and painted to match the leader of the Autobot's appearance in Revenge of the Fallen. The level of detail is amazing. Unfortunately, so is the price: bidding is currently at $730 with just under six hours remaining. So yeah, bid away if you want to blow a cool grand this afternoon. But if you want to blow up a cool air mattress, let me now -- I have guests coming to stay the weekend. Now transform and blow till you pass out!

Hit the jump for several more shots, including what the toy looked like before modification.

Continue Reading " eBay: Amazing Optimus Prime Action Figure "

Aug 28 2009 Paper Art: Toilet Paper Roll Face Sculptures

Junior Fritz Jacquet is an artist that loves working with paper and has created a series of small masks by bending and folding empty toilet paper rolls. Good looking, Junior (we named the dog Indiana). I really think this is testament to the creativity of the human mind. It's amazing, you know? Junior here sees an empty toilet paper roll and thinks art. Me? I think, "damnit -- what hand's it gonna be this time?"

Hit the jump for a whole gallery of faces.

Continue Reading " Paper Art: Toilet Paper Roll Face Sculptures "

Aug 26 2009 I Would Hit That Like Vending Machine With A Stuck Bag Of Chips: XBox Controller Bento

This is a bento box made by Laura Bento (that would be like me being named Charles Blog!) for her husband's lunch. It looks pretty delicious. And I'm not just saying that because the only thing I've had to eat was a stale biscuit for lunch yesterday, but I am starting to see mirages.

The controller itself is obviously mostly comprised of rice, but the D-Pad was constructed from naturally grey Konnyaku (Japanese yam cake), while lemon peel, green apple peel, red pepper and dyed blue egg white make up the four colorful buttons.

Geez, look at all that SPAM. I sure hope Laura's husband works in a toilet testing factory. Get it? Because I heard he likes to eat on the john! Hey, me too!

Xbox 360 Bento Box Puts Real Xbox 360 to Shame [gizmodo]

Thanks to Heather, who once bento boxed a Sumo wrestler and won in the first round.

Aug 24 2009 1,500 Hours Of LEGO Photography In 3:49

This is a short video entitled 8-Bit Trip that is a tribute to 8-bit video games made entirely out of LEGO blocks. Personally, I would have gone with a 16-Bit Trip, but I like good visuals (one time I saw the face of Loki from Super Ghouls n' Ghosts come out of a brick wall and try to lick me). A brief explanation of the video:

1500 hours of moving legobricks and take photos of them.

You'd think think with 1,500 hours to kill the maker could have afforded a couple hours of grammar lessons. I jest. But seriously: He who casts the first stone should always aim for the face.

Youtube

Thanks to Aisha, matt, Towhee Monster and deebo, who went on a 64-bit trip and nearly lost their minds.

Aug 21 2009 Safety First: A Chain Mail Chess Set

This is a chess set made out of chain mail. It is impervious to arrows and sword attacks. Which is good because a lot of times I like to threaten my opponents with weapons while we're playing. You know, to keep them on their toes (beat me and you're dead). You ever been maced in the face before? I'm talking about the spikey ball not the spray. That shit hurts like a mother. But not half as bad as getting trebuchet'ed in the taint. AND I CAN MAKE THAT DREAM A REALITY. Checkmate.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots.

Continue Reading " Safety First: A Chain Mail Chess Set "

Aug 19 2009 Sport?: Indoor Synchronized Bicycle Riding

I can honestly say I had no idea indoor synchronized bike riding was a real thing. But now that I do, I can't say I'm surprised (I once saw a grown-ass man lounging in a kiddy pool in his front yard, beating himself in the head with an oversized plastic bat). So yeah, I guess what I'm getting at is this: they need sexier uniforms.

Youtube

Thanks to twellve, who once synchronized her fist with some guy's face for looking at her funny. He had a wonk eye, twellve, geez.

Aug 18 2009 Kid Showing Off His Parallel Parking Skills