Mar 8 2009 Souper!: b/c 'The Plane' Doesn't Always Work
If there's one thing I learned about feeding kids it's that you have to take the tape off their mouths or they spill all over themselves. And then the daycare starts questioning your credentials and arrest history. Thankfully, you caught the manager banging the married parent of one of your charges so you're pretty much indispensable despite your penchant for getting high in the custodial closet and drinking the Mop & Glo. Anyway, for those of you who can't get their kids to eat without "HERE COMES THE PLANE, NEEEEEOOOWWW"ing it into their fat little faces, here's comes the SOUPER! from Fred & Friends. It's a spoon that looks like a superhero action figure. It's great for both cereal and beanie weenies and will be available next month for about $12. But, if you can't wait that long, you can always rip a G.I. Joe's head off and wedge a spoon down his neck hole. Because that's what we did during the war, and knowing is half toe battle. I'm talking trench foot, bitches.
Thanks to Chris, who doesn't need a souperhero spoon to eat because he's hooked up to a chocolate milk IV. Nice Chris, I like your style.
Oct 29 2007 Topless Table Less Exciting Than I Hoped
When I think topless table, I think topless table dancers gyrating and whatnot and otherwise being all boobily up in my face. Well this table is the exact opposite.
It’s just a paradigm shift in what we normally think a table should look like - some legs supporting a flat surface. Design Diana Halbeisen wanted to experiment with different forms. She thought about what a dinner table is used for, how things are placed, etc. Her design is a series of metal rods with bent circles to hold various dinner and flatware.
Yeah, so this is the wackest table ever. As a matter of fact, I don't think you can call this a table. So from now on this will be known as a fable. But not one about mythical beasts and animals and shit like that with a moral at the end. No this fable has metal rods that can end up jammed in your ass if you bend over in its vicinity. Try telling that one to your kids before bed.
One more after the spill.
Continue Reading " Topless Table Less Exciting Than I Hoped "
Aug 27 2007 Table Makes You Kill Dining Partner
I have enough trouble eating as it is, so why designers Stefano Merlo and Claudia Taddia would want to make it harder is a mystery to me. They have designed a table (now to be known as the table that made me kill my wife) that has each setting (glass, fork, knife, etc) tethered to its match on the opposite side of the table. So if you're using your knife, your dining partner cannot. This is absolutely brilliant. I can see it now. "Honey, I swear to god you better put down that knife right now so I can stab you."
A couple more of the world's worst table after the jump.
Mar 29 2007 Tool Silverware is silverware for men
Tool Silverware is a set of silverware with tools built into the back. Or tools with silverware built into the back. It's hard to tell which. I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be both though. Even men wouldn't get excited about using a spoon covered in motor oil. Unless it was chocolate motor oil. Mmm...tasty!
