Feb 23 2009 You Need Help: Bella's Womb From Twilight
I never read or saw Twlight because I'm a pseudo-adult man with almost 1/2 my dignity intact (I saw Mamma Mia in the theater). To my credit though, I have seen Blade several times. Anway, some Twi-hard -- wait, they're actually calling themselves that? Yes, they are. Wow, I need to sit down for a minute. Whoa, office chair -- bad idea. Floor it is.
Oh yes, one creative (and creepy) Twilight fan actually took the time to felt together Bella's womb, complete with -- wait for it -- an actual felted mutant fetus inside! Who in their right mind does stuff like this? Seriously, who wakes up one day and says, "Ya know, I think I want to spend the next week or so recreating what Bella's womb would look like with a mutant fetus inside, and then maybe share it with fans on the internet ... because they'll of course think I'm, like, completely normal and stuff."
Why do I get the feeling whoever made this also put up a Craigslist ad asking for a vampire to impregnate her? I swear, what the hell's the matter with people? That said, I am 100% vampire. Baby, I will do you like it's 1499 and not hesitate one bite to put a sun-fearing baby in that ass. Just sayin, I pick and eat my own scabs.
Fan Made: Bella's Womb from 'Twilight' (aka Creepiest 'Fan Made' Ever) [cinematical]
Thanks to Jules, who doesn't want a vampire baby, just a little werewolf.
Nov 18 2008 Questionable: Highly Inappropriate Zune Ad
Allegedly this is a spec ad made for the Microsoft Zune. If it's real, I hope Microsoft demanded their money back and told the ad agency responsible they're all a bunch of sick sickos. Because this is just wrong. I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's awful. And sick. And disgusting. And morally reprehensible. Ugh, just vile. And tactless. Okay, so how'd he do that? And will finger paint work?
Thanks "Cool Zune Ad!" Frank, I'd hate to see what you consider an uncool Zune ad.
Sep 9 2008 How Not To Play Wii
This is how you don't play Wii. SPOILER ALERT (LIKE THE STILL ABOVE WASN'T ENOUGH): With a dog humping you from behind while you scream in ecstasy. I don't know what's more disturbing -- that this video was clearly set up, or that this video was clearly set up. You see what violent video games are doing to today's youth?
Youtube
Thanks Tom, and yes, I'm scarred.
Jul 15 2008 FAKE!: Last Week's Stormtrooper Smash
Remember those Scout Trooper smashing devil-women from last week? Well, as some of you had guessed, a video released yesterday proves it was, in fact, fake. Turns out the dude was in on it the whole time and they were destroying the doll because it was already broken and they needed proof of destruction to get a replacement from Sideshow Collectibles.
Congratulations on the trickery folks, you're all a bunch of assholes! Do you know how many sleepless nights I've had since watching the original video? All of them. Honestly, this doesn't change my opinion of the women whatsoever, and I still suggest they be burned at the stake. Only now, the guy can join them.
Thanks to entropic soul for making me wish harm on all those involved even more now.
Jul 7 2008 Devil Women Destroy Collectible Stormtrooper, Are Sick, Clearly Deserve The Death Penalty
What you are about to watch is wrong on every level. Some woman, pissed that her fiancé is in Vegas blowing money on gambling and strippers (a man's God-given right), decided to destroy his most prized possession -- a scout Stormtrooper figure. Needless to say these women are all f***ed in the head. The ringleader is even so dumb as to call the figure a "snowtrooper". Then they proceed to argue that Princess Leia looks like a dude and being obsessed with her is "sick". Clearly these women are delusional and should be locked up. The video is a pain to watch and I had to pause it several times and go outside to calm down. You'll never hate women and their sick ways more than after you watch this video. I just hope the dude remembered to bring home a little something special for his fiancé. Like a really cool VD.
Thanks Punk Jr., but my wife knows better than to mess with my action figures. Don't you honey? Ha, no I'm not taking the tape off, just nod your head.
Jun 6 2008 OMGWTFNOBBQ?: Cannibal Banquets
A "Cannibal Banquet" is gross and involves eating a sort of fake human.
Here's how the Cannibal Banquet works... a pinata-like "body" is carefully crafted, then stuffed with edible goodies in a red sauce. More "sauce" is somehow embedded into the outside covering - "skin" as it were - of the body so that it will appear to bleed when cut into.
What.The.F***? And I thought the Bread Head Bakery was an assault on good taste. This cannibal banquet is a fullblown wack attack. I'd still try it though. Save the neck for me, Clark. Ooh, and a breast.
Hit the jump for worthwhile before and after shots (don't worry, the beaver is pixelated in traditional Japanese porn fashion).
May 21 2008 If You Really, Really Hate Your Dog...
Get it a wig (cat models here). Prices range from $30 - $50 and you should be ashamed if you even for one second considered buying one. And since dogs can't talk, I'll translate what they think of the idea. "F*** you. Seriously, I'd rather be raped by the cat."
A TON more pictures of the different models after the jump.
May 16 2008 WTF, That's Gross: Bread Head Bakery
Kittiwat Unarrom got a master's degree in fine arts and now makes lifelike body parts out of bread at a bakery in Thailand. All the disturbing yeast sculptures are made out of dough, raisins, cashews and chocolate. He'll also paint the outside with some sort of edible paint to give it an even more gruesome appearance. When asked why he does it, Kittiwat replied, "I'm a wackjob and I like making people sick".* And what does The Geekologie Writer think of these bready body parts? We may never know -- he's too busy puking up the Spaghetti O's sandwich he had for lunch.
*As interpreted by yours truly.
UPDATE: VIDEO added after the jump.
More pictures after the jump, but warning: they're more graphic than the first one. Yes, I'm a girl. I wear frilly panties.
May 5 2008 Chainsaw Tongue Thingy Is Completely Wrong
This is one for the ladies. It's a female pleasuring device made from a chainsaw with fake tongues instead of blades. And even though it looks incredibly dangerous it'll still probably put my company (Mustache Rides, Inc.) out of business. It was made by a U.S. based pron company that specializes in making very wrong things like this (whose website you should definitely not go to at work). Oh, and please nobody send this link to my girlfriend.
UPDATE: Okay, who did it? I make one simple request and somebody immediately goes and sends the link to my ladyfriend. I thought we were cool. Now she called and broke up with me, citing "irreconcilable differences between you and a vajayjay licking chainsaw". Thanks a lot, whoever you are.
An uncensored pic of the thing (which has a sticker on it that says F#@$ing Machines and has a lewd graphic), and a NSFW link to Wired (you can find a link to the company that made the machine on that page but I'm warning you, it burnt my retinas out) with even more completely unacceptable sex thingies that are perverting the world's youth.
Continue Reading " Chainsaw Tongue Thingy Is Completely Wrong "
Mar 3 2008 Wrong, Wrong, Wrong: Fetish Birdo Costume
Remember Super Mario Bros. 2? Remember the Birdos, those egg spitting bosses? Yeah, I remember them too. But not like this. This is not definitely not the way I remember the Birdos of my childhood. Now I've seen a lot of sick things in my day, and I've even done a few, but NEVER EVER HAVE I EVER asked anyone to dress up like a Super Mario Bros. boss in order to get my rocks off I only asked my girlfriend to do the Bowser thing once, and I swear I felt bad afterwards.
Fettish Birdo Is The Weirdest Thing I've Seen All Day [albotas]
