Oct 20 2009 Scientists Want to Develop Robotic Cheetah To Chase You Down, Dine On Your Carcass
Because life is progressively becoming a series of nightmares, scientists want to develop a robot that mimics the movement of a cheetah so they can chase us down and maul us to death. Why did I even get out of bed this morning? Oh, right. Well why did I even wake up this morning?
Professor Sangbae Kim designer of the Stickybot and a Robotic designer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Is trying to understand how he can replicate natural animal mechanisms by creating a robot inspired by the cheetah.
The idea is to build a prototype robot from a construction of lightweight carbon-fiber-foam that will then be able to match the cheetah's speed of 70 miles per hour.Over the next 18 months, Kim and four other MIT graduate students are going to start constructing the prototypes. Starting with a computer model of the robotic cheetah to establish the optimal limb length, weight, gait and torque of the hip and knee joints.
It's an ambitious project. Current wheeled robots are efficient, but can be slow in rough terrains. For instance, iRobot's PackBot, which is used by the U.S. military, can only travel at speeds of up to 5.8 miles per hour.
I'm sure this seemed like a good idea to somebody at some point, but it's not. Like I don't have enough to worry about without a 70 MPH cheetah-bot running around. Also, like four children. And you wonder why daddy drinks in bed all day!
Cheetah Inspired Robot [geekygadgets]
Thanks to Excaliber, who I will use to slice through these bastards like room temperature butter.
Oct 16 2009 Highly Questionable Japanese Sniper Prank
Is there anything funnier than tricking a Japanese man into a meeting and then faking the death of everybody else in the room by sniper fire? No. Unlessssss the alleged gunman then bursts in and puts his weapon to the man's head and pulls the trigger. Seriously, you're sick, Japan (keep the freaky Hentai coming).
Thanks to Closet Nerd and Harry, whose parents don't allow them to watch Japanese TV for fear of them becoming morally corrupt.
Oct 14 2009 Build Your Own Roller Coaster Ride At Disney
No this isn't Roller Coaster Tycoon, this is real life! The "Sum of all Thrills" is a new ride at Disney's Epcot Center that allows children to design their own roller coasters and then ride them in a virtual reality environment with the aid of a giant robotic arm. I smell vomit! No, seriously -- I think a cat puked under the bed.
Epcot on Wednesday opened a new attraction called "Sum of All Thrills," which lets kids use computer tablets to design a virtual roller coaster, bobsled track or plane ride. After inputting their designs, kids climb into a robotic carriage that uses virtual-reality technology to help them experience the ride they've created.
"This is really the next generation -- where there's a lot more personalization involved" in the amusement-park experience, said Eric Goodman, Disney's lead project manager on the ride.
Cool. Of course, I question how much customization you'll actually get to do (I want 30 loopty-loops in a row!), or how much you should actually trust a child with anyway (100% of 0). Just saying, I have the feeling a lot of coasters are gonna end with a giant robotic arm slamming you into the ground repeatedly. YOU KIDS WILL NEVER BE IMAGINEERS!
Hit the jump for a better shot of the last thing you'll ever climb inside.
Continue Reading " Build Your Own Roller Coaster Ride At Disney "
Aug 27 2009 Freaky: Three Frames Of A Movie At A Time
Three Frames is a website that chooses three frames out of a different movie every day and plays them, looping. It almost gave me a seizure. No, it DID give me a seizure. djla; wl;qwa a la;kaeoee wwpw ww ;llala. Get it? Because I'm shaking so bad! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go back over myself in the face.
Three Frames (slightly NSFW, there's a tasteful boob on the first page)
Jul 23 2009 Kill Me Now: Star Wars Dance Contest Uncut
This is an uncut video of the Star Wars Weekends dance contest that we saw part of yesterday. Except, instead of 47 seconds, this one is 12 minutes. Personally, I could only make it to 1:50, when the woman says "Give it up for Chewbacca, the original gangstaaa!". Although, admittedly, I did skip around after to see if Leia makes an appearance in a golden bikini (she doesn't). So yeah, I dare you to try to watch the whole thing without putting your face through your monitor...
...
...
You broke your nose, didn't you?
Thanks to Vince, who knows how to cut a rug. With scissors, silly!
May 13 2009 SICK!: Fly Turns Ants Into Zombie Nurseries
The phorid fly turns fire ants into zombies by laying eggs inside them. When the larvae hatch, they eat their way to the ant's brain, which they also eat, leaving the fiery bastards to wander around like zombies before dying. Sick.
"At some point, the ant gets up and starts wandering," said Rob Plowes, a research associate at UT.
The maggot eventually migrates into the ant's head, but Plowes said he "wouldn't use the word 'control' to describe what is happening. There is no brain left in the ant, and the ant just starts wandering aimlessly. This wandering stage goes on for about two weeks."About a month after the egg is laid, the ant's head falls off and the fly emerges ready to attack any foraging ants away from the mound and lay eggs.
ZOMG -- it's head falls off. That reminds me of the time I was getting it on with a velociraptor when my parents came home early so I tried stuffing him in the closet but accidentally slammed the door closed on his neck and his head fell off. I buried it in the backyard, but I kept the body. What? It's okay if it's a dinosaur!
Hit the jump for a video of the flies in action (first video) as well as another of what jewel wasps do to cockroaches (same concept of zombification, but with a completely different method (read: injecting venom straight into the brain)).
Continue Reading " SICK!: Fly Turns Ants Into Zombie Nurseries "
Apr 27 2009 Tracking The Swine Flu With Google Maps
You can now track the swine flu with Google Maps by going HERE. If a marker appears in your town, and you're a chick, take naked pictures of yourself and email them to me for verification I don't care what you do if you're a dude, but no naked pictures, please. Also, I'm a little pissed at whoever started this damn flu pandemic in the first place. I'm looking at you, bacon hater. THE PORK GOD DEMANDS APPEASEMENT!
Thanks to Romeo and Frank B., who would much prefer the chicken pox.
Feb 27 2009 Successfully Marketing Your Bike On eBay
Australian eBay seller yellowscooter knows how to sell a damn bike. Dude could probably sell gamma radiation to The Hulk.
This is a max wicked sick BMX. It's a Reliance Boomerang and it's done heaps of maximum extreme stunts. I have mostly done stunts on this bike since forever. Once I did a boom gnarly stunt trick on it and a girl got pregnant just by watching my extremeness to the maxxxx. Some details about sickmax BMX: Comes with everything you see including: TOPS AS SUSPENSION REAR FORKS!! 2 x wheels 1 x seat I will even thrown my sick BMXing name for FREE - Wicked Styx. Has minor surface rust on handlebars and front forks (easily removed). More rust on rear forks (as shown in pics). Tyres hold air but are pretty old. Basically, it's an old BMX, but it's radness is still 100% in tact. Tricks I have done on this BMX: Endos - 234. Sick Wheelies - 687. Skids - 143,000. Bunny Hops - 2 (my brother dared me to do them, which I did because I'm Rad to the power of Sick). Flipouts - 28. Basically if you buy this bike you will instantly become a member to every club that was ever invented, worldwide, because you will be awesome. Pick up from Richmond in Melbourne. Throw your hands in the air like you just don't mind.
Damn, I'm pissed bidding has already ended -- I desperately need that bike! I'll do anything to be Rad to the power of Sick! Because right now I'm hovering around Lame to the power of Healthy. And let me tell you -- it gets no ladies. Hey GW, how many ladies you getting? NONE.
eBay Auction
Thanks to Jackson and russel, who are both Raddest to the power of Sickest.
Feb 7 2009 Doctoral Student Furious After University Throws Out His Collection Of Lizard Dung
Typically, you don't want bags of crap hanging around for too long. But not Daniel Bennett -- he loves that shit! Now he's furious that Leeds University custodians threw away part of his doctoral work -- a 77lb bag of Butaan Lizard dung it took him 7 years to collect.
"Whether it was the largest collection of lizard shit in the world is uncertain, but it certainly contained the only dietary sample from that little-known species Varanus olivaceus, and probably the most complete dietary record of any single population of animals in South East Asia. Its loss left me reeling and altered the course of my life forever."
First of all, Daniel, I don't think "shit" is the proper scientific nomenclature. And secondly, if losing a bag of crap can alter the course of your life forever, well, it's time you take a long, hard look at your life anyways. Just saying, tons of birdshit on my car.
University apologises for lizard dung clear-out [wigantoday]
Thanks to RyanThePerson, who is an actual human and not just shit stacked that high.
Dec 18 2008 Gory Macabre: The Perfect Baby Shower Gift
Oh man, I love these. And unicorns really do spear little forest creatures like that, it's true. I've seen 'em do it with my own two eyes. Well, one eye -- one of those f***ers got me! Sadly, this awesomeness isn't for sale, which is a crying shame. Because gory macabre animals are the perfect way to let your kids you love them. Just not enough to not scar them for life. Sleep tight little ones! Haha, no nightlight tonight -- the goblins were complaining. And also, no sneaking out of bed -- the floor turns to acid when I leave the room. Kisses!
Hit the jump for some larger pictures of my favorites.
Continue Reading " Gory Macabre: The Perfect Baby Shower Gift "
Nov 18 2008 Questionable: Highly Inappropriate Zune Ad
Allegedly this is a spec ad made for the Microsoft Zune. If it's real, I hope Microsoft demanded their money back and told the ad agency responsible they're all a bunch of sick sickos. Because this is just wrong. I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's awful. And sick. And disgusting. And morally reprehensible. Ugh, just vile. And tactless. Okay, so how'd he do that? And will finger paint work?
Thanks "Cool Zune Ad!" Frank, I'd hate to see what you consider an uncool Zune ad.
Oct 28 2008 Dynamics Of A Cough Caught On Film
That's right, what you're looking at is some nasty bastard coughing, and the resulting air turbulence. Sick!
Schlieren photography involves shining collimated light past a knife edge onto a target, and variations in the refractive index of moving air create "shadows" of a sort in the image captured on film, and it's most often used to solve aeronautical air-flow problems, or weapons in action.
Okay, I don't understand what that means. But scientists plan to use the data gathered from these photos to study the spread of diseases like SARS, AIDS, the herp, the clap, the snap, the shocker, the Spocker, the body rocker, gingivitis, crabs, and hangnails. Just kidding, not SARS.
Cough Captured on Film Using Supersonic Photography Technique [gizmodo]
Oct 24 2008 Moron Calls In Sick, Busted On Facebook
Kyle Doyle, a 21-year old asshat from Australia, went out one night and got himself good and drunk. And then, like a little pussy, didn't want to go to work the next day. So what did he do? He called his employer and told them he was out due to a "valid medical reason". But then he updated his Facebook profile.
Kyle Doyle is not going to work, f*** it i'm still trashed SICKIE WOO.
Oh man, I want to get trashed SICKIE WOO. I don't even know what it means but damn it sounds like fun. But seriously Kyle, accept my friendship request already.
Hit the jump to read the full exchange between Kyle and HR from when he tried to get his leave processed as a valid sick day.
Continue Reading " Moron Calls In Sick, Busted On Facebook "
Oct 9 2008 Used Condoms Reborn As Hair/Rubber Bands
Soiled condoms *HORF* are being recycled into hair bands and rubber bands in China.
"There are a lot of bacteria and viruses on the rubber bands and hair ties made from used condoms," a dermatologist at the Guangzhou Hospital of Armed Police, who asked to be identified by his surname Dong, told the local paper. "People could be infected with AIDS, warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while weaving their hair into plaits or buns."
*HORF* Jesus. But on the upside, a bag of 10 hair bands only costs 3¢. Which, I think we can all agree is worth the risk of contracting something.
Report: Used condoms 'recycled' as hair bands in China [usatoday]
Thanks to Skip, who may or may not have been the guy that ratted me out for blowing up used condoms at my last clown gig.
Sep 8 2008 Epic Fail: How Not To Clean Your Fishtank
I know what you're thinking, "is that a video still of a fish in some kid's bladder?" And the answer, dear reader, is yes, yes it is.
The patient, who was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period, gave an interesting explanation.
Details of the case, which was documented in The Internet Journal of Urology, have revealed that the patient claimed that the fish "slipped" into his penis while he was maintaining his aquarium."While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.
Riiiight. So the kid was holding a fish in his hand while pissing and it, like the noble salmon, swam up his urine stream and into the pecker. Sounds fishy if you ask me. Just admit it kid, you're a freak. And also, you should be banned from the pet store.
Boy in bizarre 'fish in penis' accident [practicalfishkeeping]
Thanks to Jennifer, who has a friend that had a similar accident with a turtle.
Jul 15 2008 FAKE!: Last Week's Stormtrooper Smash
Remember those Scout Trooper smashing devil-women from last week? Well, as some of you had guessed, a video released yesterday proves it was, in fact, fake. Turns out the dude was in on it the whole time and they were destroying the doll because it was already broken and they needed proof of destruction to get a replacement from Sideshow Collectibles.
Congratulations on the trickery folks, you're all a bunch of assholes! Do you know how many sleepless nights I've had since watching the original video? All of them. Honestly, this doesn't change my opinion of the women whatsoever, and I still suggest they be burned at the stake. Only now, the guy can join them.
Thanks to entropic soul for making me wish harm on all those involved even more now.
Jul 15 2008 Scientists Collect Cow Toots To Better Understand Their Effects On Global Warming
Argentinian scientists are collecting cow gas in an effort to understand how the methane produced by our bovine brethren is affecting the global solar cooker we call earth and its atmosphere.
As one of the world's biggest beef producers, Argentina has more than 55 million cows grazing in its famed Pampas grasslands.Guillermo Berra, a researcher at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology, said every cow produces between 800 to 1,000 liters of emissions every day.
Methane, which is also released from landfills, coal mines and leaking gas pipes, is 23 times more effective at trapping heat in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide.
Every cow produces 1,000 liters of emissions? Holy hellfire. I can't believe we can even breathe anymore. The scientists hope that by understanding the process by which cattle produce methane, they'll be able to alter their diets to produce less of the gas. Well call me old fashioned, but I think there's a much more logical, less scientific method for getting a cow to produce less tootage -- make them huff their own gas bags. Now I don't like awards ceremonies, so just go ahead and send the Nobel Prize to my parent's house.
Cow farts collected in plastic tank for global warming study [telegraph]
Thanks Jim and Julian, is it true that huffing cow ass gets you high?
Jul 7 2008 Devil Women Destroy Collectible Stormtrooper, Are Sick, Clearly Deserve The Death Penalty
What you are about to watch is wrong on every level. Some woman, pissed that her fiancé is in Vegas blowing money on gambling and strippers (a man's God-given right), decided to destroy his most prized possession -- a scout Stormtrooper figure. Needless to say these women are all f***ed in the head. The ringleader is even so dumb as to call the figure a "snowtrooper". Then they proceed to argue that Princess Leia looks like a dude and being obsessed with her is "sick". Clearly these women are delusional and should be locked up. The video is a pain to watch and I had to pause it several times and go outside to calm down. You'll never hate women and their sick ways more than after you watch this video. I just hope the dude remembered to bring home a little something special for his fiancé. Like a really cool VD.
Thanks Punk Jr., but my wife knows better than to mess with my action figures. Don't you honey? Ha, no I'm not taking the tape off, just nod your head.
Jun 6 2008 OMGWTFNOBBQ?: Cannibal Banquets
A "Cannibal Banquet" is gross and involves eating a sort of fake human.
Here's how the Cannibal Banquet works... a pinata-like "body" is carefully crafted, then stuffed with edible goodies in a red sauce. More "sauce" is somehow embedded into the outside covering - "skin" as it were - of the body so that it will appear to bleed when cut into.
What.The.F***? And I thought the Bread Head Bakery was an assault on good taste. This cannibal banquet is a fullblown wack attack. I'd still try it though. Save the neck for me, Clark. Ooh, and a breast.
Hit the jump for worthwhile before and after shots (don't worry, the beaver is pixelated in traditional Japanese porn fashion).
Jun 2 2008 Cassette Face Watch Is Alright, I Guess
The AOS Cassette Face Watch costs about $70 and looks like a cassette. It also tells time. No way. Yes way. No way! Yes way! But who needs to tell time anyways? Time is old fashioned and not the sun. I suggest we get rid of time altogether and any hot and spicy female readers send me provocative pictures. Because then, I'm a scientist, time won't be important. I said I'm a scientist yo. This is a real lab coat. Wait, where'd my lab coat go? Okay, well this is an authentic Big Johnson t-shirt. I actually have no idea about worm holes because the bourbon this morning made afternoon delights a no go and I think a rocketship just crash landed on my brain. So get those coming. Also, something about...oh yes, this watch is okay but you know what's better than a cassette watch? No, not a Walkman watch. Well, technologically, that is cooler but not what I was getting at. I was getting at...shit now you made me forget. OH YEAH -- a BOOMBOX watch. A watch that looks like an old school ghetto blaster. Cool huh? I know. You hear that, Tokyoflash? I want one for free when it's made or else the good doctor gets it, do you understandeth what I speak? I need to lie down. Oh my God this pillow is meowing!
Another picture after the jump in case you were dying to know what the watch looks like with a hand casually tucked into your black-jeans pocket.
Continue Reading " Cassette Face Watch Is Alright, I Guess "
