Nov 16 2009 The Sky Is Falling!: Leonid Meteor Shower Peaks Tonight/Early Tommorrow Morning
For those of you that like to get high and lie in the middle of a field staring up, the Leonid meteor shower is supposed to reach its peak tonight from 1AM to dawn. Great, I'll be hiding in the back of the hallway closet waiting for the apocalypse. It, uh, is 2012, right?
The best seats are in Asia, but North American observers should be treated to an above average performance of the Leonid meteor shower, weather permitting. The trick for all observers is to head outside in the wee hours of the morning - between 1 a.m. and dawn - regardless where you live.
"We're predicting 20 to 30 meteors per hour over the Americas, and as many as 200 to 300 per hour over Asia," said Bill Cooke of NASA's Meteoroid Environment Office. Other astronomers who work in the nascent field of meteor shower prediction have put out similar forecasts.
Listen, I've been disappointed by these things before. Those NASA Meteoroidoligists are almost as bad as the cloud and rain ones. Still, I recommend everyone that hasn't seen the Leonid Shower to get out there and check it out. Me? I'm holding out for the Girl's Locker Room Shower.
Strong Leonid Meteor Shower Peaks Early Tuesday Morning [yahoonews]
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Nov 11 2009 Blow-Up Doll Found In New Call Of Duty
Is there any better way to celebrate Veterans Day than playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2? Yes, but that doesn't mean there isn't a blow-up doll in a bathtub in the game. And, as a guy who's no stranger to trying to shower around a blow-up doll, let me tell you: I accidentally popped her with a loofah :(
Hit the jump for the arguably NSFW uncensored version.
Nov 5 2009 Shower With 3-D Wrap Around Touchscreen
Listen, I love standing in the shower watching full-length movies as much as the next water waster (which is why I just had a swimming pool sized hot water heater installed), but what's the matter with a traditional projection setup? I swear, people are always trying to one-up me. Too bad I know how to do that turtle shell trick in world 3-1 of the original Super Mario and can get unlimited one-ups. Suck it -- I will always out one-up you!
The Roca Waterdrop Shower Room surrounds you by a 3D touchscreen, allowing you to watch movies while you bathe. The touchscreen also allows you to control the temperature of the water and the intensity of the jets.
I mean, sure if you want to be tacky about it. I think we can all agree the touchscreen is a little much. I would have gone with voice-control. AND WHERE ARE THE LASER EXFOLIATORS? Cheapskates.
Oct 1 2009 Luke, Let's Hit The Sauna: Jedi Bathrobes
I don't really wear robes because I got kicked out of wizard school and I'm more of a boxer and undershirt kind of guy, but I might make an exception for this $95 Jedi joint. Just kidding. Still, it would look good on you though.
Star Wars fans rejoice! The Jedi Dressing Gowns are here! What could be better on an evening than strutting around in your Jedi robe, making sure your little Lightsaber doesn't inadvertently pop out due to your lack of jimmy-jams? The Jedi Dressing Gown is made of soft 100% cotton velour and has a Jedi logo embroidered on the front. The bath robe's large hood, sash belt and wide sleeves are classic features of a Jedi robe. Will you be seduced by the dark side (your smelly old bathrobe with cat hair all over the back) or will you fight for justice...or at least the last Jaffa Cake...in a brand new Jedi Dressing Gown?
Wow. I'm not sure if that's how you sell Jedi robes or not, but I'm guessing not. As a matter of fact, that product description has convinced me to go out and buy the exact opposite of a Jedi bathrobe. Which I don't actually know what is. Maybe a Sith bra or something.
Product Site
via
jedi bath robe: obi-wants one [technabob]
Thanks to Smee, who, no stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don't make a move Smee, not a step. My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me, Smee. This is it. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee.
Aug 21 2009 Creepy: An Edward Cullen Shower Curtain
Because it's a well known fact vampires are pervbags that like to stare at you while you piss, here's a custom Edward Cullen shower curtain. It was handpainted by Etsy seller CustomShowerCurtains and will set you back a cool 75 bones. Now, you may be wondering why I'm posting a Twilight shower curtain in the first place. And the answer to that, my friends, is for the womens. Apparently they love this shit. Also, shoes and cooking. DO I KNOW THEM OR WHAT?!
Thanks to Jay, who caught Bella watching him projectile vomit after a long night of drinking.
Aug 14 2009 Solar Shower Provides Hot Water In 2 Hours
The $200 Solar Power Shower can heat up to 8 liters of water to 140° Fahrenheit in as little as two hours, provided it's outside in the sun and not in your basement.
It's a lot more sophisticated than a simple camping solar shower, because this one mixes that 140° water with cool water from the garden hose, giving you plenty of toasty warm water at just the right temperature.
Impressive, but I don't really have a need for a solar powered shower. I do, however, have a need for that chick in the picture. Seriously, I'm getting hungry. HIYO!
Jun 30 2009 Goodbye Cruel World: The Wearable Towel
Following in the stylish footsteps of the Snuggie, Slanket, Peakaroo, WonderRobe, MagicJacket, CarpetVest and PlushiePants, comes the Wearable Towel (THAT'S THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH?!). It's a towel with holes in it that you put your head and arms through. And wear. Like an animal pelt, but way more Roman. They cost $20 plus shipping and handling and come in red, white and blue. BECAUSE THEY'RE AMERICAN DAMNIT! Like apple pie, if apple pie was manufactured in Singapore.
Thanks to yourmotherslover, who may or may not be your dad.
Jun 1 2009 Prison: Don't Drop The Soap Knuckles
This is soap shaped like brass knuckles. It's equally suited for punching yourself in the taint or fighting off would-be lovers in the prison shower. Which, miss you Big Bear.
Brass Knuckle Soap Allows You To Punch Up a Good Lather [gizmodo]
Thanks to pstone, who made me his bitch.
May 21 2009 Well It's About Freaking Time: Tetris Soap
Tetris soap is tetrad shaped soap pieces that make a perfect addition to the seashell soaps in your guest bathroom that I'm never sure if I'm supposed to use but do anyway. They're made by Digital Soaps, the same folks that brought us the video game controller soaps. 8 ounces of tetrads will set you back $10, but they also have little Space Invader bars that will run you $10.50 for 24 pieces. Hit the jump to see more of both. Then, go with the tetrads. Trust me: L pieces were practically made for the gooch.
Hit it for a bunch more cleanliness.
Continue Reading " Well It's About Freaking Time: Tetris Soap "
Apr 22 2009 Shower Curtain Gets Stabby On H2O Wasters
Elisabeth Beucher's 'Green Warrior Shower Curtains' help control your water consumption by slowly inflating its spikes (via a questionably energy efficient air pump) as you shower. Stay in too long and you get stabbed. Drop the soap and experience prison. While I do find this design admirable, I have an even better way to curtail water wastage: don't pay your gas or electric bill. You'll still have cold water, and cold water, my friends, is the key to shorter showers. Seriously, I'm down to 35 seconds. Haven't seen my balls in weeks!
Happy Earth Day everyone!
in honor of earth day: the shower curtain that impales you [theinteriormind]
Thanks to Travis, who only bathes the way God intended: with a woman to scrub his back.
Mar 29 2009 Questionable Women's Razor Commercial
This is a questionable commercial for the Shick Quattro For Women TrimStyle with Bikini Trimmer. I'm outraged it was allowed to air because my six-year old just asked me about "those transforming bushes". You know what I told him? Decepticons.
Thanks to "Captain Partytime" Mike, who may wreck the ship, but he'll have one hell of a good time doing it.
Mar 25 2009 Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail!
Well folks, I just got back from the doctor and am happy to announce I don't have inoperable thyroid cancer. However, I am unhappy to announce I came out from the anesthesia with my boxers on backwards. Just saying, I thought the thyroid was in my neck. But what do I know, I'm no doctor. Anyway, this is Etsy seller Digitalsoap's latest in peripheral cleaning products. If you can recall the last controller soaps we featured, they were a solid color. These ones have more detail. An XBox lather will set you back 12 credits, and a NES bar 9. Just don't drop it! Because we all know what happens if you drop the soap, don't we? We do -- you dent a corner and then it'll look stupid. Also, another inmate takes camera phone pictures of your iHole. Pfft, I've seen Oz.
Hit the jump for the NES controller.
Continue Reading " Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail! "
Mar 4 2009 Fully Automated, Computer Controlled Shower Will Kill You While You Bathe, I'm Sure Of It
The Aquapeutics (now to be known as AquaPEWtics) luxury steam shower has everything a person could want, plus a whole bunch of other crap, and a $4,300 pricetag.
This spaceship-worthy shower is loaded up with two handheld showers, a waterproof LCD TV, a radio, massage jets, a steam box, overhead lights, an alarm, and other crazy crap. The whirlpool and steamshower are computerized, letting you set your program to run when you get in, and it's all very fancy.
I WANT IT! I heard it even washes your balls and polishes them to a shine. Which, I think we can all agree, while painful, would be well worth the shellacking. QUICK -- LOOKIE HERE! Haha, blinded you.
Aquapeutics shower is just a little bit over the top [dvice]
Feb 18 2009 Smell Gamey? You Need Playstation Soap
So check it: you smell like ass. I'm serious, you're reeking up the interwebz. You need to get yourself some $5 Playstation controller soap from Etsy seller Digitalsoaps. Looking for something a little old schooler? No problem, they sell $8 NES controller bars as well, in such exotic flavors as pink sugar, juicy watermelon, apple jack and peel, coconut lime verbena, dragon's blood, and unicorn's semen. On a side note, when I get ripe my pits smell like really onion-y chili-cheese dogs. Your musk is different. But I like your natural pheromones. I think I'm attracted to you. Kiss me. Did you feel any chemistry? I felt some. It felt like your boob. I copped a feel!
Hit the jump to see the NES controller soap.
Jan 28 2009 It's Like Bathing In The Forest!: The Moss Mat
Moss is like nature's carpet that never has to be vacuumed. So why not bring a little of the outdoors in with a mossy bathmat?
Nguyen La Chanh's ingenious design is made from a decay-free foam called plastazote, and populated with three varieties of moss: ball, island, and forest. Maintenance required for this little patch of green is limited, as the moss thrives off of the humidity released from daily bathroom rituals.
I want one. I just question how much traffic the mat can stand. Granted, that wouldn't be a problem for me -- I only shower bi-weekly. It's called cologne, folks, and I'm saving the planet one less shower at a time.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
Continue Reading " It's Like Bathing In The Forest!: The Moss Mat "
Dec 17 2008 Hmmm?: What If Tetris Had Lyrics -- About Tetris Being A Game For Women?
Brentalfloss, Geekologie's resident songwriter, known for such hits as Mega Man 3 with lyrics, and What A Wonderful Super Mario World, just dropped another single on this bitch, this time with a Tetris-theme. It's a song about the iconic block game being for women. Which may or not be true. Because, quite frankly, I love Tetris and I happen to have a....wait, where'd it go? Oh, oh no. I showered this morning -- the drain!
Youtube
Thanks VeryLiberating, TransconaSlim and Brentalfloss, you guys know anything about plumbing?
Dec 11 2008 Geekologie Reader Ingenuity: The Ass Towel
I know not all of you readers are FAKE! asshats. I'm sure some of you are actually good people, who make a valued contribution to society. And some of you are straight pervs. And others, like reader David, are inventors. David developed a towel that helps solve the age-old "did I just wipe my face with ass?" conundrum.
I've had this idea for a while. I've come to the conclusion that I'm never getting around to getting it made, so I at least want it publicized.
An ordinary towel right? Correct.But, it has a distinct blue square in a not so used area of the towel.
Maybe I'm a slob, but I usually don't get a new towel every single day. And, I've got to dry my entire body. Some of which don't always get 100% clean.
I dry my ass, then the next day I use that same spot on the towel to dry my face. There it is, and it sucks.
The blue square is the designated section of the towel to dry your ass.
Genius, David. This is exactly the kind of ingenuity I expect from Geekologie readers. I really want these made. Then I could finally stop drying my ass with my roommate's toothbrush.
Thanks David, remind me to bring my own towel to the slumber party.
Jul 28 2008 No Thanks: Psycho Inspired Shower Curtain
Personally, I like the classic model we posted a while back. But in somebody's unending quest to eff up a perfectly good original, here comes a new and "improved" version. Not only does this curtain have gratuitous blood splatterings, it makes noise! That's right, the $20 curtain has a motion sensor and when you enter the bathroom you get the REEE REEE REEE and Psycho scream! Shit, that'll never get old. I could listen to it upwards of, I dunno, once.
Bloody Serial Killer Shower Curtain Brings Murderous Fun Into the Bathroom [gizmodo]
Jul 8 2008 Surprised?: Dubai Constructing World's Largest Water Fountain. Up Next: Everything Else
In an announcement that surprised absolutely no one, Dubai has voiced its intention of building the world's largest and fanciest water fountain (not of the drinking variety.
Costing a whopping $281 million, the new fountains will shoot water 450 feet into the air and pump 22,000 gallons of water through it at any given time. 6,600 lights and 50 projectors will shoot video and images onto the spray as its in the air...
Cool, I guess. I mean, I love a good fountain show as much as the next person stoned out of their mind, but this seems a little excessive. Why does everything have to be so extreme? You're not trying to make up for anything down there are you, Dubai? Sure, I'll take a loo...MY EYE! So much for that theory.
Hit the jump for what the fountain looks like if you're tripping.
May 20 2008 I've Seen It All Now: The Whiz Freedom
The Whiz Freedom is a horribly named "urine director" for women. First of all, I didn't know there was even a market for "urine directors", but secondly, now that I do, I think they should change the name of this product from Whiz Freedom to Fake Penis. Because I think that's what it is.
The Whiz Freedom preserves dignity and liberty whatever the circumstances. It gives women the choice to wee wherever and whenever they choose.Aside from allowing women to wee in a standing position, sitting down or lying down, the Whiz Freedom can be used in confined spaces such as in a car, a kayak, a small airplane or glider (you're up there for many hours), in a tent, a sleeping back, while chained to the stove, or while caving.
So ladies, if you're looking for the perfect $30 urine-soaked accessory to add to your purse, look no further. The Whiz Freedom -- Enabling women to pee like men since 2007.
A commercial for the thing after the jump. I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's a scene that I'm all too familiar with.
