May 15 2009 Trick BBall Shots: Now With More Shotgun!
In the same vein as the beer pong video, this is a video of a group of guys that call themselves Dude Perfect making a bunch of ridiculous basketballs shots. Mostly they're just shooting from like two miles away, but they do some drive-by shots using a truck as well. But really, you came here to see the shotgun shot, so skip to 0:55.
Well, what did you think? Hoping he'd blow his foot off? Yeah, same. :(
Thanks to Harry, who once sunk one from downtown. I don't even know what that means, but he did it.
May 6 2009 Needs Work: First US Full-Face Transplant
46-year old Connie Culp was nearly killed when her deranged husband literally blasted her face off with a shotgun in 2004. But now, five years later, she has a new face thanks to a recently deceased organ donor (sign your cards!).
She endured 30 operations to try to fix her face. Doctors took parts of her ribs to make cheekbones and fashioned an upper jaw from one of her leg bones. She had countless skin grafts from her thighs. Still, she was left unable to eat solid food, breathe on her own, or smell.
Then, on Dec. 10, in a 22-hour operation, Dr. Maria Siemionow led a team of doctors who replaced 80 percent of Culp's face with bone, muscles, nerves, skin and blood vessels from another woman who had just died. It was the fourth face transplant in the world, though the others were not as extensive."Here I am, five years later. He did what he said -- I got me my nose," Culp said of Djohan, laughing.
I got me my nose, I got me my nose. My goodness what a heartwarming story. Uncensored picture is after the jump, and, not to be insensitive, but it is a little rough on the eyes. Kind of like a belt sander, but with lasers attached. Seriously though, great job, guys.
You have been warned, now hit it.
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Feb 26 2009 Shot-Gun Brings New Meaning To The Word
The Shot-Gun is by far the most delicious way to get shot. Because, instead of lead, it fills you with booze! And booze, my friends, makes the world go around. Or at least the room. Whee, I'm on a carousel!
Armed with the Alcohol Shot Gun, you can re-enact the most memorable movie scenes from "Dirty Harry" to "Matrix". "Do you feel lucky, sucker" is the only question? Pour in an ounce of your favorite drink into the cartridge, cock the trigger, point and shoot.
Call me crazy, but I want one. PEW! I feel better already. PEW! Mmmm, so warm in my belly. PEW PEW! I think that gfirl is lwooking at me. PEW PEW! i called her ugly a whorew . PEW PE? WHO ASE YOU CLALING DRUNK! Oh, ohs no -- PEW PEWK! PEEEEEWWWWWWK! ack, IthInk i popped A BLOODVESSEL in my eye. ugh. PEW! Oh yeah, that's the stuff.
Alcohol Shot Gun [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Derrick, who accidentally shot himself in the eye and now it burns.
Feb 26 2009 I Knew It!: Violent Video Games Helps Prepare Children For The Coming Apocalypse
This is an Onion News roundtable discussion on the benefit of children playing violent video games. And as I suspected, violent games do, in fact, prepare the world's youth for the coming apocalypse.
Playing video games all day, alone and friendless, is simply the best way we have to prepare our children for a life of solitude in a barren wasteland.
Finally, somebody speaking some sense. So fret not, parents, buying your children violent video games might just provide them with the know-how they need to survive in the the future. Or, I dunno, bring a gun to school. Either one.
Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse? [theonion]
Thanks to Mister Tiddles, who I think might be a cat.
Jan 20 2009 BOOM, Headshot!: Sniping App For iPhone
Now you can shoot things with better accuracy thanks to BulletFlight, a $10 application available for the iPhone and iPod Touch.
Users can mount their iPod touch to their rifle, and then use the iPod's touch-screen to tap in details about the wind conditions, ammunition type, distance to the intended target and even the wind speed.
"Unlike other apps, BulletFlight does not output information in table format," says the application's iTunes page. "What it does do is dynamically give you the solution you need now to take that shot."
Really? Attaching an iPhone to a sniper rifle? Terrorists everywhere will laugh at you. Thanks but no thanks, I prefer to do my sniping the old-fashioned way -- with a powerful burning laser. PEW PEW!
Sniper rifle software launched for iPod touch [telegraph]
Thanks to Tony and Larry, who only make heads explode with knowledge, son.
Dec 1 2008 Yes Please!: A Sweet Chainsaw Bayonet
So I was out shooting the ol' shotgun the other day, and I thought to myself, "self, could blasting the hell out of this stump get any more awesome?" And the answer, dear reader, is yes, a chainsaw bayonet would have totally made it awesomer. PEW PEW, BRUUUM BRUUUM BR BR BRUUUM!! Oh yeah, that's the stuff. The stuff of boners.
Hit the jump to see a picture of the saw mounted on a shotgun, along with a video of a guy terrorizing pumpkins with the AR-15/saw combo. Fun for all ages!
Oct 21 2008 Sweet!: Custom Intramural Zombie Hunter T's
Hunt zombies? Want to get started? Well what better way than with a custom Intramural Zombie Hunter t-shirt from Seibei. Each $24 shirt comes with a custom (your choice) name and number on the back and option of none, some, more, or lots of hand-applied gore. The shirt makes a perfect Halloween costume, but is definitely acceptable for everyday wear. Then, when you're caught braining some poor bastard in the road for jaywalking, you can just play it off to the woman that saw you. "Read the freaking shirt, it says right here Intramural Zombie Hunter, I think I know a zombie when I see one. Ha, so it is a vintage Led Zeppelin concert tee. Zombie shirt must be in the wa....HOLY SHIT, WHAT'S THAT?! *THWACK* *THWACK TWACK* *poke*
NOTE: Oh, almost forgot: still in New Orleans, having trouble leaving (read: don't want to). Going to see the Rebirth Brass Band tonight at the Maple Leaf. Come down if you're in the area.
Jul 29 2008 Guy's Mower Won't Start, He Shoots It
Keith Walendowski is (based on his picture) the last man in the world I'd expect to be a raging alcoholic and own illegal weaponry. But he is, and he does. One day, Keith, who had already eaten his bourbon breakfast, decided to partake in a little Russian-toe-roulette and mow his yard (which, incidentally, is also his mother's -- he still lives at home with her). So what did ol' Keith do when the mower wouldn't start? What any other freaking idiot in his situation would do, blast it with a sawed-off shotgun. Forget checking the gas and oil, when a mower doesn't start all it needs is some holes.
Police officers said Mr Walendowski had told them: "It's my lawn mower and my yard, so I can shoot it if I want." He was charged by police in Milwaukee with disorderly conduct and possession of a sawn-off shotgun. He could face a fine of up to $11,000 and a maximum prison sentence of six-and-a-half years if convicted.
Geez, six-and-a-half years? I assume that's mostly for the shotgun. But, uh, just out of curiosity -- blasting a weed-wacker is totally legit, right?
Hit the jump for an example of what a Mad Max collectible "sword"-off shotgun looks like.
Jul 10 2008 Super Chuck Norris Bros. Is Action Packed
This is a video of Super Chuck Norris Bros. Allegedly it's a real game somebody has been working on. Basically you roundhouse kick the shit out of a bunch of goombas, grab a chainsaw or shotgun, destroy the tree and hills in the background, and all around kick ass. What surprised me was that Chuck Norris was caught playing in a video game. Chuck Norris doesn't play video games, he bangs my girlfriend while I do. Then he beats my high score while she's making him a sandwich.
Hit the jump for another video of the game with some kid talking over it complaining about how it's stupid Chuck can't die or lose in the game. Ha, like Chuck Norris could ever die. You moron.
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Mar 13 2008 Questionable: Survival Zombie Kit On eBay
Having grown up in the Girl Scouts, I live by the motto: "Target fat people and you'll sell more cookies." And also that one about surviving the zombie apocalypse. Well to help fend of the uprising some guy is selling this Zombie Survival Kit on eBay. It looks pretty questionable if you ask me. I mean it's just a sawed off shotgun with 5 shells. What the hell kind of zombie apocalypse are you going to survive with five shells. At least this kit has 10, plus a knife and riot shield. Bidding is currently at a whopping $255 with 9 freaking days remaining, so apparently it's going to go for a lot more than it's worth. Which, according to my calculations, is the cost of a plastic Airsoft shotgun, five empty shotgun shells, and a picture frame.
eBay Auction
via
Zombie Survival Kit For Sale Now - Be Prepared [gizmodo]
Feb 8 2008 I Don't Know About This: The Taser Shotgun
The taser shotgun is a shotgun that shoots taser rounds. It sounds scary as shit because it is. I don't want to get hit by a shotgun or a taser, so this would be like a double whammy. A double whammy of pain. And pain, my friends, is bad. We all know that. What we don't all know is why the hell there's a taser shotgun on the market. So I'll ask my trusty Magic 8 Ball. "Outlook not so good." I couldn't have said it better, Magic 8 Ball, I couldn't have said it better.
A promotional video that's supposed to give you a boner after the jump. I put it up from Liveleak and Youtube, because the Youtube ones seem to get taken down.
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