Oct 12 2009 Good Ideas: Roofie Detecting Lip Balm
2 Love My Lips is $16 lip gloss that comes with test strips to determine if your drink has been roofied with drugs like GHB or Ketamine. It's a smart idea and I urge everyone to keep a close eye on their beverages at all times (and not just because I'll ninja-drink that shit, but I 100% will).
"If a drink tastes funny, or you are suspicious something is amiss simply dab the ends of the taper in your drink and if they turn blue tell your friends immediately and get help from Security and the Police."
Seriously, roofies are no laughing matter and if you suspect your drink's been spiked I want you to ask me to chug it. BECAUSE I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU. Knight in shining armor? No, I'm trying to forget that bad.
Jul 29 2009 Honey, I'm Gonna Need That Ring Back: Nano-diamonds May Help Heal Wounds
Seen here is Dr. Manhattan's conception a nano-diamond attracting insulin to help a wound heal quicker. Neat, but I'd still douse it with Blue # 1 just to be on the safe side.
Northwestern University scientist Dean Ho and his team discovered that nanodiamonds are very attractive to insulin, best know for helping regulate blood sugar. Insulin, however, can also accelerate healing processes and stave off infection in wound sites, according to Ho:
Insulin accelerates wound healing by acting as a growth hormone. It encourages skin cells to proliferate and divide, restores blood flow to the wound, suppresses inflammation and fights infection.
Nice, but I can't even get my insurance to cover regular bandages at the doctor, so I can pretty much forget about DIABANDAGES©. Haha -- pay me, suckers!
Diamonds Are A Wound's Best Friend [io9]
Thanks to Tank and Totex, who once shot up emeralds and died. Don't do precious stones, kids.
Jul 25 2009 Way To Blow Your Cover: Batman Cufflinks
Listen, I know you're classy -- but are you BATMAN CUFFLINKS CLASSY? I think you are, and I'm not just saying that to get in your tux. These cufflinks are made by Etsy seller finkstudio and will set you back a cool (or crumpled -- BUT NOT ROLLED UP) Jackson ($20). Coupled with a 3-Keyboard Cat Moon t-shirt (just tape the links to your wrists), you will enter an all new world of magical magic -- where wizards and mermaids coexist and you are your own boss. Yes, a world where you can still get laid with cufflinks taped to your hands. I've been there. I've seen it.
Hit the jump for some of the other cufflinks available, including Transformers and Spiderman.
Continue Reading " Way To Blow Your Cover: Batman Cufflinks "
Jul 7 2009 Michael Jackson To Be Buried In Gold Casket
Michael Jackson, donning his last piece of flair (possibly a Bedazzled glove), will be buried in a 14-karat gold coffin only befitting of a king (of pop. Alternatively, Neverland).
The $25,000 container from Batesville Casket Company ("because every family deserves a Batesville") is made of solid bronze, plated with 14-karat gold, and polished to a mirror finish. It's the same model in which James Brown was buried. No question about it, it'll be the fanciest coffin in the graveyard.
You know, when I go I want to be buried in my rocketship. And by buried I mean launched into the sun. And by "when I go" I mean I'm pushing the button now. I'M OUT BITCHES, PEACE!
Michael Jackson to be buried in 14-karat gold coffin [dvice]
Apr 16 2009 Faceless Watch Lacks Face, Hides LEDs
The LED watch was designed by Hironao Tsuboi and appears to just be a metal band. But it's actually hiding a deep, dark secret: it once ran over a bum and didn't stop! Or, LEDs. Push a button, BOOM: the time. Don't push the button, BOOM: no time. Push my buttons, BOOM: fisticuffs.
Hit the jump for another picture.
Apr 9 2009 Now That's What I Call Class: The Gold Mouse
The Gold Bullion Wireless Mouse (not to be confused the the piratey USB hub) is actually plastic. Which is why it costs $35 and not $35 gajillion. To its credit though, it does have a scroll wheel. But still, why anybody would actually pay for this garish piece of bullionshit (count it) is beyond me. That said, I bought one as a gag gift for The Superficial Writer. He loves this kind of crap. And also, American Idol.
UPDATE 1 YEAR LATER: ZOMG, The Superficial Writer left a gold brick on his desk -- I'm gonna be rich!
Gold Bullion Wireless Mouse only looks like a million bucks [engadget]
Thanks to Julian and Oscar The Slouch, who are far too classy for those tuxedo-print t-shirts. Right guys? Right?
Mar 7 2009 Sleek Computer Case Designed By BMW
This is a prototype computer case designed by BMW and Thermaltake. It's called 'Level 10' and would get the shit stomped out of it by my 'Level 80' Paladin.
What a brilliant idea -- let's stop hiding PC components inside boxes, shine them up in stainless steel and black air-directing shrouds, and leave those innards out in the open for all to see. The concept is similar to those lofts with all the exposed piping and ventilation ductwork. It's positively postmodern.
Uh, am I the only once that noticed it doesn't look anything like a car? WTFBMW? Seriously, call me back when it has anti-lock brakes and a leather interior. Oh, and heated seats.
Level 10: the inside-out PC from an alternate dimension [dvice]
Thanks to DZ and Gingerbird, who once joyrode a BMW straight into a lake.
Jan 11 2009 Crystal Covered Mercedes Is A Piece Of Crap
This is a picture of a Mercedes Benz that's been Bedazzled. It's a "customized Mercedes-Benz SL600, Luxury Crystal Benz, studded with 300,000 Swarovski crystal glass." It was on display at the recent Tokyo Auto Salon 2009 by auto-modder Garson/D.A.D. Oh, did I mention it's a monster piece of gaudy crap? It's true. Fun fact: if you squeeze a Swarovski crystal between your buttcheeks hard enough it turns into pain. Neat!
Luxury Crystal Benz at Tokyo Auto Salon 2009 [chinaview]
Thanks to Flash, who drives a moondust Bentley, but only on Sundays to and from church.
Jan 7 2009 Time Flies!: An Artsy, Steampunkish Watch
Deviantartist sadwonderland went and made a steampunk styled wristwatch. While it doesn't look super steampunky, I still like the style. Hell, I'd wear it if I was a woman. Or, haha, home alone with the door locked and shades pulled tight. I'm not kidding.
This is a fancy steampunk-style wristwatch, fully functioning, with a new battery in it all ready to go!
A pair of angelic wings and decorative clock cogs frame the timepiece, and a charm chain hangs below, carrying a cog and a small victorian heart.Perfect for costuming or fancy time-travel parties!
I'm digging those wings. And you know what they say -- time flies when you're wearing a steampunk watch! What do you mean they don't say that? Well what do they say? Toy boat ten times fast? Fine! Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boyt, toy boyt, toyboyt, toyboyt, toyboyt, toyboyt! Oh, now everyone in the coffee shop is looking at me funny. F*** you, people, I'm a blogger damnit!
Lestrade Watch [deviantart]
Thanks to KXHone, who doesn't need a winged watch for time to fly, just alcohol.
Jan 6 2009 Tokyoflash's Latest Bling: Is That An R75 On Your Wrist Or Do I Just Want To Do You?
Tokyoflash's first design of 2009, the R75, is now available, and you have the Geekologie Writer's personal guarantee it will get you laid.* How could it not -- it comes in three different colors, including gold! Like my teeth! It can also tell time in there different modes! F*** I'm excited!
Hour-centric mode displays the hour in digits on the lower display and minutes on the upper display, each LED representing a progression of five minutes. Perfect for when you need to know the approximate time quickly.
Minute-centric mode displays the exact minutes in digits on the lower display with the upper display representing the progression of hours using twelve LEDs.Binary is presented on the upper display only. The top line of six LEDs indicate the hour, the second line indicates minutes. To read the time in binary, refer to the example below. Binary is read from the right, the first lit LED representing the number 1. This is then doubled; 2, 4, 8, 16 and 32, a combination of these numbers representing the time in hours and minutes.
Damn do I love a watch that's hard to read. It keeps the ladies looking at your wrist longer. And that, provided you plucked the hair out of that nasty looking, potentially cancerous mole, is a good thing. R75's are available now with either blue or white LEDs for $235. Also, I'm available now for celebrity appearances and photo-ops (price inversely commensurate with drunkeness at time of booking).
*Geekologie Writer's personal guarantee not guaranteed. This coupon has no cash value.
Hit the jump for two more pictures and a link to the product page.
Dec 22 2008 Instant Decorating: The Christmas Cannon
If there's one thing I hate about Christmas it's that fat bastard Santa and his lack of presentry for yours truly. I swear, you write one too many dirty jokes and the boubon-soaked skeezeball (trust me, I could smell his breath when I sat on his lap at the mall in '85. Also, I'm now spreading a rumor he touched my butt) passes your apartment. If there's another thing, it's decorating. It's time consuming, and, come May, you have to take everything down again. That's why the Christmas Cannon is so genius. You just lather something in glue, pump up the cannon, and BAM -- you just Christmas'd that shit. It's as easy as shooting yourself in the foot trying to shoot fish in a barrel. Which, haha, is easier than you think (read: I'm missing two toes and have to wear a special shoe).
DIY Christmas Cannon is a Festive Tinsel Explosion [gizmodo]
Nov 24 2008 That's What I Call Shiny: A Chrome Bugatti
We've seen chromed cars in the past, but quite frankly (can I call you Frankly?), those just weren't as shiny as this Bugatti Veyron. Maybe they went for the economy chrome job, but whatever the case, they lacked the mirror-like sheen of this summabitch. I mean, you could snort drugs off the hood of this thing. You know, or a CD case. But if you are doing your drugs off the back of a cracked CD case, chances are you probably don't have the money to be doing drugs. And your connection probably sucks. I guess what I'm getting at is this: you're snorting laxatives.
Hit the jump for four more of the shiny-shiny.
Continue Reading " That's What I Call Shiny: A Chrome Bugatti "
Aug 13 2008 Coming In For A Landing!: The Mile High Bed
Thanks everybody for all the birthday wishes yesterday. That was awesome, and I love you all. But today's another day, and...wait a minute -- it's International Left Handers Day! Another day of celebration for me! Shake left-handed, eat and drink left-handed, or give yourself a stranger, WHEE!
Anyway, the Mile High Bed was made my MotoArt, the same company that made the engine cowling reception desk and ejector seat office chair. Constructed from two DC-9 rear stabilizers and a C-130 inner flap, the bed promises to comfortably accommodate yourself and two additional passenger (preferably sexy stewardesses). Unfortunately, price is only available via company contact, which means a freaking fortune. Pfft, who needs a Mile High Bed anyways? Not I. Now a 200 MPH Bed -- that's where it's at. Ladies, to the race car bed! But please note: Be quiet coming in, my parents are asleep, and also, I'm entitled to make all the VROOM VROOM noises I want during the race. VROO....oh, checkered flag. Champagne me, I'm ready for a nap.
Jul 25 2008 The Rest Of Star Wars Series 3 Mimobot's
Remember when we revealed Wicket as the second character in Mimoco's Series 3 of Star Wars flash drives? Well the remainder have been announced, with a Royal Guard and shiny-ass C-3P0 rounding out the set. Damn chrome dome, you're blinding me with that golden melon of yours! They're available now and come in 1,2,4 and 8GB varieties for $40, $50, $75 and $110, respectively. They did a great job with them all, but Wicket will always hold a special place in my heart. And also, stomach. I ate him!
Mar 18 2008 Transformer Zippos Have The Power To Transform Things Into Things On Fire
These Transformer Zippos are a limited edition release from Japan. They come in black and silver and only 300 of each were made. As you can see from the picture, they're lighters with Optimus Prime's profile on them. I assumed they were snatched up already, but checked eBay and found them available for $110-$140. I like them and all, but I think that it's kind of wrong that when you open the lighter it looks like Prime's head has been cut in half and there's a flame coming out of it. I mean show the robot some respect, he did help save the damn planet. And speaking of helping save the planet, the neighbors (who are probably Decepticon sympathizers) are getting pretty upset about my environmental commitment to peeing in the front yard.
Zippo Transformers, Shiny Pyrotechnical Technology [uberreview]
Jan 17 2008 LaCie Little Disk Drive Is Small, Holds Data
We've posted LaCie drives in the past, and the company always seems to go for style points with their designs. The Little Disk is LaCie's newest addition, and comes in 30GB and 40GB capacities ($130 and $160, respectively). As you can see, when the bottom is removed it has a retractable USB cable for connectivity. I actually like this so much that I went out and got one. I guess I should have read the packaging though, because I thought I was buying a futuristic Zippo. Turns out the thing can't light a cigarette for shit.
LaCie Little Disk - 30-40GB Capacity, Zippo-Like Dimensions [ohgizmo]
Nov 1 2007 Calculator Prevents Indecent Exposure
The Chrome Calculator Belt Buckle ($10) is almost exactly what it sounds like. The only thing they failed to mention is that it also serves as an incredibly effective chastity device. You can put it on either way (numbers up or down), so that you can use it, or someone else can do the number punching for you. It's pretty f'ing dorky, but I got one anyways. I like to keep a real close eye on my secretary when she's calculating expense reports.
The Amazing Chrome Calculator Belt Buckle [slashgear]
Oct 26 2007 Geekologie Ladies: Ms. Pac Man Ring
So what if I found these surfing a women's lifestyle website -- I recently killed my girlfriend after I mistook her for a zombie and now I'm trying to get in touch with what women care about these days so I can land a new chick. The Ms. Pac Man and Ghost rings are silver rings that look like your favorite 80's video game characters. They run $68 each ($75 for gold vermeil). The lady on the website says they're "really super cute and definitely wearable, even past the age of fifteen, unlike many other video game inspired jewelry." And based on the picture, they're apparently even wearable after death, because that's a corpse's hand.
UPDATE: If you are a beautiful lady and thinking about buying these I will marry you.
Miss Pac Man and Ghost ring [popgadget]
Oct 25 2007 Heklucht Bikestand With Airpump
The Heklucht is a bikestand which incorporates an airpump, and is not a bad idea.
The product was conceived for an art project in Ypenburg (a newly build neighborhood in the Netherlands). Eight products will be placed in front of eight houses. The goal of the project is to stimulate an interaction between neighbors, while pumping up the tires of their bicycles.
Sounds good, and I like their level of shine. The only problem is they wouldn't work in my town. The stimulated neighborly interaction would go a lot like, "Hey vagrant, get off my property!" "Chill out you f'ing old hag, I'm blowing up the tires on this bike I stole." This may or may not be followed by gunshots.
Oct 23 2007 Disco Ball Chandelier Is Shiny As Hell
Generally I don't like chandeliers because they're tacky as hell and just don't look right hanging in the trailer. But I might make an exception for the Confetti Light, from Swedish design house FRONT. Just look at all that glitter! It's like a million fairies dancing on your walls. It reminds me of when I was a kid and we used to jump through the campfire, trying to catch all the fairies that were given off. I later found out they were just burning particulate and all the smoke was probably giving me cancer. Growing up is a bitch.
Official Site [thanks to Richard, a man who appreciates shiny things, for the tip]
