Sep 29 2009 She's So....Beautiful: How To Fix Your Baby's Misshapen Nog
Let's be honest with ourselves: our children, when first born, are ugly and their heads are all smushed cause they just got squeezed through a vagina like the last of the toothpaste. And by "our" I mean "your" because I don't have any kids. But now there's hope for your little football-head thanks to Cranial Technologies. Basically they'll design a custom helmet for your child that exerts light pressure on their dome to mash that melon back into shape. Plus, they're fully customizable with stickers and paint! For a small fee, I'll even sign the thing like a cast. And for a large fee I'll whip anybody's ass that makes fun of your child's helmet. HELMETS ARE THE NEW HAIR, FOLKS, YOU WATCH!
Thanks to Jordan, who was born with a perfect shaped head because he burst out of his mother's chest like an alien.
Sep 24 2009 Geometric Cans Look Cool, Prevent Rolling
Conceptualized by Dzmitry Samal, these new Coca-Cola cans would be manufactured using impact extrusion and not roll off the counter should one fall over. But I've got news for you: if you knock a Coke can over you've got bigger problems than whether it's rolling. Namely, you're losing valuable mixer. You see, I'm an alcoholic. I kid, I kid -- I don't use mixers.
Sep 23 2009 Beautiful Shot Of The Pinwheel Galaxy
The Pinwheel Galaxy (higher res version HERE) got its name because it looks like a pinwheel. Geez, it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure that one out. Or maybe it's cause it loves Little Debbie Pecan Spinwheels so much. Well guess what -- so do I! And Starcrunches? Don't even get me started!!
This new three-color composite image was captured by the Isaac Newton Telescope in La Palma, Spain.
Known more officially as Messier 101 or NGC 5457, this classic spiral galaxy is 27 million light years from Earth in the Ursa Major constellation, also known as the Big Dipper. Its slight asymmetry is thought to be the result of an encounter with another galaxy in the recent (astronomically speaking) past. This event also left many huge clouds of glowing gas and plasma known as H II regions.Though the galaxy, which measures 170,000 light-years across, is visible with the naked eye as a fuzzy spot, large telescopes are needed to see any detail.
You know what I love most about outerspace? I heard it's super quiet. What do you mean, "space is a vacuum"? Those things are loud as shit!
Sep 23 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Neon Tetris On Skateboards
This is a video of 36 skateboarders playing a game of human Tetris on some hill in San Francisco while wearing giant neon shapes on their heads. Except it's not actually Tetris because not all of them are rocking tetrominoes. No, some of those mothers got damn pentominos on their heads. And I'm not talking the little red bits in olives! But, damnit, now I want olives. Shit, and some artichoke hearts. Fun fact: Jesus once turned an olive branch into a magic wand and banished hate from an evil sorcerer's heart. Then he did the water into wine thing and everybody had a good time. Plus, there was live music. You can't beat that.
Thanks to Duncan, who once tried playing Frogger on a skateboard and lost.
Sep 21 2009 I Can't Even See The Puck: Trippy Air Hockey
This is video of a Japanese air hockey table (possibly manufactured by Sega) that's designed to give game participants seizures. I couldn't even see the puck most of the time. And not just because I was rolling around on the floor clutching my eyes, but I was. Your mom keeps sending nudey pics!
Hit the jump for two more videos of the table, the first of which has a bunch of fake pucks on the table the whole time, and the second demonstrating the table's variable goal size capabilities.
Continue Reading " I Can't Even See The Puck: Trippy Air Hockey "
Sep 19 2009 Holy: Farmer Grows Buddah Shaped Pears
In this week's "growing things that look like other things" news, a Chinese farmer has learned how to grow Buddah shaped pears. But are they sacrilegious to eat?
Hao Xianzhang, a local famer, spent six years to perfect the process by growing the pears inside moulds, local media reported. The pears cost around 50 yuan (7.32 USD) each.
Pfft, that's nothing. One time I grew an apple that looked like I cut a hole in it and smoked weed out of it. BECAUSE I DID. Who has the green thumb now, bitches?!
Hit the jump for two more shots of the holy fruit.
Sep 16 2009 Blockhead!: Face Rendered In Tetris Shapes
This is a head rendered in Tetris blocks as imagined by Rihards Rozans. I have no idea if he used his own face for the model, but if he did, he's a pretty handsome guy. You know, in a Donkey Kong sort of way. Speaking of which: remember Candy Kong in Donkey Kong Country? I wanted to hit that like a bushel of bananas: still green and $0.79/lb?
Hit the jump for three more shots of the blocks.
Continue Reading " Blockhead!: Face Rendered In Tetris Shapes "
Aug 30 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Siamese Rubik's Cubes
As far as I know, these conjoined Rubik's cubes have existed forever but I wouldn't know because I have enough trouble with a regular one without removing all the stickers and then backing over it with my dad's truck while sobbing and subsequently taking out the mailbox. BOOM! Recent post tie-in for the win! I AM THE L337357 bL0993R! But for those of you that are into Rubik's, you may want to consider these conjoined cubes from Deal Extreme. And, as you may well know, Siamese sextuplets are multiple times the fun of a single woman. Isn't that right, ladies? Not you righty, I'm talking to the middle ones.
Hit the jump for a couple of the other configurations available.
Aug 29 2009 Bokeh Filter Turns Light Blurs Into Shapes
The Bokeh filter is a $10 physical filter for your camera that turns out of focus light blurs in the background into shapes like hearts and stars and spirals (separate filter required for each). It works by magic. But not black magic, because you don't want to eff with that shit unless you absolutely have to.
One of the fastest growing fads in modern photography is bokeh shapes. Bokeh shapes are shapes of light in the blurred background of photos. These shapes are achieved by using a bokeh filter over the camera lens. Bokeh is a photography term derived from the Japanese word for blurred. Bokeh refers to the unfocused background in a photo.
The Bokeh Filter is a simple filter that clips onto the end of your lens. This filter blocks out pieces of light that cause the bokeh (blur) in your images to take the shape of the filter.
Neato. Now if they could just create a camera filter that makes my face look like Brad Pitt's, maybe I wouldn't be losing so many Facebook friends. I'M A MONSTER! Truck, monster truck. VROOM VROOM, I AM CRUSHING YOUR CAR!
Hit the jump for a video of the filter in action, directly from a camera.
Continue Reading " Bokeh Filter Turns Light Blurs Into Shapes "
Aug 26 2009 Do Want: Dinosaur Shaped Sandwich Cutter
SILF? SILF!
Thanks to boo, who actually took the picture but didn't bother buying me the cutter. Damnit, boo.
Aug 24 2009 Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers
In Japan's unending quest to grow edibles shaped like other things comes these heart and star shaped cucumbers.
These cucumbers represent the cumulative efforts of an agricultural coop determined to make food preparation a little bit more exciting. Comprised of nine women in Chiba, a suburb of Tokyo, this grass roots organization cleverly uses plastic molds affixed to the stem of the plant, with which they can create heart and star shapes when the cucumber is sliced cross-wise.
These romantic cucumbers are selling at fancy supermarkets in Tokyo and as specially ordered wedding gifts at ceremonies throughout Japan. They cost 300 yen each (about $2.50).
Nice try, growers, but Lucky Charms has been growing marshmallows in different shapes for years. Anybody ever picked through a whole box to make a bowl of nothing but marshmallows? Well I hope you washed your hands first.
Hit the jump for what the vegetables look like ON A SALAD.
Continue Reading " Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers "
Jun 15 2009 Blocky: Tetris Pots For Growing Grass
These are planters in the form of tetrads. They are equally suited for growing shit or use as cereal bowls. And, because I'm a complete slaya', I've even come up with another use: decoration. Did I just blow your mind? No? THEN WHOSE WAS THAT? Quick -- the lights!
Tetris Goes to Pot [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian, who grows his 'grass' in old milk jugs like a normal person.
Jun 1 2009 Prison: Don't Drop The Soap Knuckles
This is soap shaped like brass knuckles. It's equally suited for punching yourself in the taint or fighting off would-be lovers in the prison shower. Which, miss you Big Bear.
Brass Knuckle Soap Allows You To Punch Up a Good Lather [gizmodo]
Thanks to pstone, who made me his bitch.
May 21 2009 Well It's About Freaking Time: Tetris Soap
Tetris soap is tetrad shaped soap pieces that make a perfect addition to the seashell soaps in your guest bathroom that I'm never sure if I'm supposed to use but do anyway. They're made by Digital Soaps, the same folks that brought us the video game controller soaps. 8 ounces of tetrads will set you back $10, but they also have little Space Invader bars that will run you $10.50 for 24 pieces. Hit the jump to see more of both. Then, go with the tetrads. Trust me: L pieces were practically made for the gooch.
Hit it for a bunch more cleanliness.
Continue Reading " Well It's About Freaking Time: Tetris Soap "
Sep 10 2007 Tetris Furniture Probably Uncomfortable
If you live in your uncle's attic like I do, then you can appreciate making the most out of limited space. To help is the 2 + 1 chair and table combo thingy from sdesignunit that packs three pieces of furniture into one. It can be a dining table and two chairs, a couch, or a bed. The only problem is that, um, it's made of cardboard. Now I'm no stranger to passing out at the bar, and it's plenty comfy at the time, but when I do make it home I like something a little softer. Well, that, and my girlfriend pees the bed, which would ruin this thing. HAHA! Now everyone knows! Maybe next time you'll think before making my eggs so runny.
Tetris Furniture Probably Uncomfortable [ohgizmo]
