Aug 24 2009 Sadness: Father Leaves Copy Of Call Of Duty: World At War For Fallen Soldier Son

So yeah, this is sad. Private Richard Hunt, the 200th U.K. soldier to die in Afghanistan, was buried over the weekend. He would have been 22 yesterday.

His father Phillip, enjoyed playing Call of Duty: World at War with his son. He left a copy of the game at his grave.

"Happy Birthday 'Hunty'. Play you again one day. Dad."

Wow, that tore me up.

Dad's Tribute: Call of Duty on Soldier Son's Grave [kotaku]

Thanks to Solozaur, whose single tear splattered F10.

Aug 19 2009 Screw Mother Nature: HP Shipping Fail

Not to be outdone by Dell's L337 shipping practices, HP decided to ramp up their efforts to show that THEY hate this planet even more. What's in the box? Hit the jump to find out. And no, it's not a tiger. But good guess.

Hit it. DO IT NOW!

Continue Reading " Screw Mother Nature: HP Shipping Fail "

Jul 22 2009 Sadness: Lost iPhone Prototype Drives Chinese Factory Worker To Suicide

And in a bit of sad news, a Chinese factory worker jumped to his death after losing track of an iPhone prototype he was responsible for shipping to Apple.

The dead worker, Sun Danyong, 25, worked in product communications at Foxconn Technology Group, a Taiwanese firm that makes many Apple products at a massive factory in the southern city of Shenzhen, near Hong Kong.

Sun was responsible for sending iPhone prototypes to Apple, and on July 13 he reported that he was missing one of the 16 fourth-generation units in his possession, the newspaper reported. His friends said company security guards searched his apartment, detained him and beat him, the paper reported.

Apple Inc. responded Wednesday by saying its suppliers are required to treat workers with dignity and respect.

Blood phones, just sayin'.

Chinese Worker Kills Self Over Missing iPhone [foxnews]

Thanks to Gino, who would have just burned the factory to the ground to cover up the loss. Smart thinking.

Jul 9 2009 Death By Chocolate: A Modern Augustus Gloop

A man died in a New Jersey chocolate factory yesterday after he fell into a huge vat of melted chocolate.

Vincent Smith II, 29, was dumping raw chocolate into the vat for melting when he fell in from a nine-foot high platform. He suffered a fatal blow to the head from the vat's agitator, a paddle-like mechanism used for stirring the chocolate.

The rectangular vat, which was 8 feet deep, 14 feet long and 6 feet wide, was churning a batch of chocolate for Hershey's when the accident occurred.

Wow, what a way to go. Also, I'm gonna hold off on the Hershey's for a while.

Man dies at chocolate factory [cnn]

Thanks to Alex, Jcon, Michelle, joe the human beatbox and Tad Bit Tipsy, who all want to fall into a vat of chocolate, then marshmallow, then graham cracker crumbs.

May 22 2009 Paper Towels: ShamWow's Latest Competitor

This is a short infomercial for Paper Towels. I only watched like five seconds of it before I started daydreaming about who would win in a fight, this guy or Vince 'ShamWow' Shalomi. Then I realized I would kill them both because I ride into battle on a dinosaur holding a smaller dinosaur! Then I went out for a gelati and rubbed sunblock on some hot chicks' chests because I'm at the beach and I DON'T ROLL WITH LIZARD TITS, SON!

Paper Towels [collegehumor]

Thanks to Harry, who once beat a man with his own roll of paper towels for cutting in line at the grocery checkout.

Apr 1 2009 Guy Dies Playing Wii Fit, Sadly Not April Fools

25-year old England native Tim Eves collapsed and died while playing Wii Fit with his girlfriend and best friend. I am officially never working out again.

Tim Eves was 'jogging' on a Wii Fit games console as Emma Tuck and Lewis Hickin looked on, when he slumped to the floor.

The family were told he could have been killed by Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. Also known as Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome, it is a disorder of the electrical system of the heart.

Those with the condition are vulnerable to an abnormal heart rhythm. During exercise the heart may stop pumping out blood, causing the brain to become deprived of blood and sudden death. The condition is estimated to kill 500 people a year.

Well Tim, I hope you're enjoying that great Wii Mii parade in the sky. Rest in peace, buddy.

'Healthy' man, 25, collapses and dies playing Wii Fit game [mailonline]

Thanks to Pat and Nathan, who vow to create public service messages about the inherent risks of exercise.

Feb 3 2009 Wrong #: Cell Phone Explodes, Killing Man

We reported on a 'death by cell phone explosion' last year, but that one turned out to be some guy trying to cover up accidentally killing a coworker. Maybe this one's real. Or maybe somebody else pushed the wrong lever.

A man has died after his mobile phone exploded, severing a major artery in his neck, according to reports.

The man, thought to be a shop assistant in his twenties at a computer shop in Guangzhou, China, died after he put a new battery in his phone. It was believed that he may have just finished charging the battery and had put the phone in his breast pocket when it exploded.

According to the local Chinese daily Shin Min Daily News, the accident happened on January 30 at 7.30pm. An employee at the shop told Chinese media that she heard a loud bang and saw her colleague lying on the floor of the shop in a pool of blood. The employee said the victim had recently changed the battery in his mobile phone.

Jesus, I'm never charging my phone again. So if you want to talk to me, you better call quick, because yesterday was my last charge. Yep, I'm only yelling from here on out. YOU HEAR ME? HONEY, I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR DINNER!

Man killed by 'exploding mobile phone' [timesonline]

Thanks to Richie-con-carnie, who once cooked a delicious meal on the heat of a burning cellphone.

NOTE: Picture is not related to story. Except it's a picture of a cell phone that exploded. And caught fire.

Dec 18 2008 The Robot Apocalypse Is Upon Us, First Three Victims Claimed. Alternatively, This Month's Darwin Award Recipients

Three people in Japan have died after trying to use a robotic foot massage machine on their necks and shoulders.

In the most recent case, a woman removed the cloth cover of the machine and ended up strangling herself when her shirt collar was caught in its massage rollers. The other two deaths also seem to have occurred in a similar manner. No recall of the product has been issued, but the manufacturer thought it would be a good idea to issue a public warning.

The end is nigh! The rise of the foot massage machines is only the begining. Also, who the f*** tries to use a foot massager on their neck? Nowhere was the thing advertised as a 2-in-1 massager. SO WHY PUT IT ON YOUR NECK? Wu-Tang said it best: Ya best protect ya neck! Jesus, next thing you know some jackass is gonna try sticking his....

UPDATE: Oh God, call the wienerologist!

Three people killed by foot massage machines [japanprobe]

Thanks manwai, Brad and Flavio, you know anything about chiropractics?

Sep 17 2008 Just Plain Wrong: A Ferrari Station Wagon

In this installment of money doesn't buy class comes a Ferrari station wagon. It was custom built by Ferrari for the Sultanate of Brunei and is making me sick to my stomach. The only thing worse than paying Ferrari to build a station wagon is to make one yourself. I just don't get it. And in other news, the new Facebook sucks monster hangy-downy dinosaur balls and I wish I did too.

Hit the jump for two more pictures.

Continue Reading " Just Plain Wrong: A Ferrari Station Wagon "

Sep 11 2008 Awh Man: Indian Girl Kills Herself Over Fear Of World-Ending Large Hadron Collider

Damn, this is some sadness. Chayya, a 16-year old Indian girl from Madhya Pradesh, drank pesticide and killed herself over fear of the Large Hadron Collider going online and destroying the earth. I send my deepest sympathies to Chayya's family and pray, for the sake of my own soul, that she never read Geekologie.

R.I.P. Chayya

Indian Teen Commits Suicide Over LHC Fears [uberreview]

PSA: THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER WILL NOT DESTROY THE PLANET.

Aug 5 2008 Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink

Well folks, it happened. Somebody went and named their energy drink after a slang term for a woman's nether region. Or a cat. The one that starts with p and ends with ussy. Yep. This is almost as bad as the German Poontang Juice.

(Our product) is unique. It is made with a blend of fresh white grape juice from Southern Italy, pressed Mexican limes and lightly carbonated water. These are then mixed with Grenadilla and Lychee flavours, infused with six selected botanical herbs.

The name Pussy shocks and demands attention - that's the point. Inhibition is a recipe for mediocrity.

Oh really? Well it looks like you may have settled for a little mediocrity yourself there, Pussy. Because I just concocted my own drink, and Assf*** is gonna take the energy supplement market by storm. From behind.

Hit the jump if you really want to see the can without the censor bar, and a link to the product page.

Continue Reading " Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink "

Jul 15 2008 Crashed B-2 Bomber Pics Get Me Misty Eyed

If there's one thing that's sad, it's the death of a pet. Followed distantly by $1.2 billion plane crashes. And, while we've already posted another picture and video of the crash, here are some nice close-ups of the now infamous wreck. Pretty sad isn't it? I think so. Of course, it's not as bad as when Hammy the Hamster went. There are very few things sadder than watching your dad cook and eat your only friend because you couldn't make it to base in a little league game.

Hit the jump for two more pictures, including one of a firetruck and another of two doctors crawling through a field with a steampunk computer. Just kidding, apparently they're deactivating remaining explosives in the ejector seat.

Continue Reading " Crashed B-2 Bomber Pics Get Me Misty Eyed "

Jul 14 2008 Russian Ravers Go Blind From Laser Show

As many as 29 people may have partial vision loss as the result of a laser light show at an outdoor rave near Moscow last week. Several have experienced vision loss as high as 80 percent.

Attendees said heavy rains forced organizers to erect massive tents for the all-night dance party, and lasers that normally illuminate upwards into the sky were instead partially refracted into the ravers' eyes.

Now don't get me wrong, a person losing their vision is freaking awful, and I hope all those affected by this show can get some kind of help. But the point I'd like to make is this: a laser light show where the possibility of going blind doesn't exist is a crappy laser light show. You might as well hire a kid swinging a flashlight on a string. Seriously though folks, I wish these ravers the best and would like to remind you, the reader, to be careful with your eyes. Like testicles*, you only get two.

*Or ovaries.

Ravers lose sight at Russian laser show [reuters]

Thanks Mark and Romeo, have either one of you ever bitten through a glow-stick? I have, it tasted awful.

May 29 2008 George Lucas Wearing 'Han Shot First' Shirt

We all know Han Solo blasted Greedo first (wiki link) and it was a travesty when they changed it in the re-release. And we also know Han was the first to blast Carrie Fisher. So what's up with the shirt? Per my tipster, Jon:

Great, now that we all agree George, give me my freaking cleaned up version of the original trilogy on DVD and Blu-Ray you Ewok/Jar-Jar/CGI loving asshole!

Thanks Jon, now settle down lest us Star Warriors catch the same bad rap as those crazy raging Trekkies.

Scene Stealer [latimes]

Apr 8 2008 Best Infomercial Ever, I Mean That, EVER

Now we've seen a lot of awesome freaking commercials here at Geekologie, but this one may take the cake. It's for the $600 Beamz Laser Music System (Beamz Lazer Muzic Zyztem was already taken). It's basically six lasers, and anytime you break a beam with your fingers/hands a different sound is triggered. You positively HAVE TO WATCH the entire 3:00 video (after the jump). Now I've been known to set up a camera and film myself doing stupid things before, but never have I ever looked this ridiculous. It's almost too much to bear thinking these people are real and can wake up in the morning and face themselves in the mirror. That said, the laser thing they're playing is the awesomest freaking thing I've ever seen.

MUST SEE VIDEO after the jump.

Continue Reading " Best Infomercial Ever, I Mean That, EVER "

Feb 4 2008 Little Fire Extinguisher Looks Like Grenade

Are most of your fires really small? If so you should consider this little extinguisher -- the PinQY (~$79). It's (brilliantly) marketed as "the discreet tool for putting out the beginnings of a fire." First of all, what in the hell are the "beginnings" of a fire? Marketing departments are seriously taking liberties with product descriptions these days. And discreet? I've never felt embarrassed about having safety equipment around because it doesn't go with my decor. Which is why I parked a fire truck in the kitchen. Well that and I like tooting the horn.

Tiny fire extinguisher can save you from tiny fires [dvice]

Thanks to Tom, who can extinguish fires with his bare hands, for the tip