Nov 19 2009 The Monsters That Didn't Make The Cut: New Star Trek's Deleted Gorn And Salt Vampire

Wonder what the Gorn and Salt Vampire that were supposed to appear in the new Star Trek's deleted Rura Penthe Klingon prison scenes looked like? This. Good lookin', but I'll take a steroid abuser in a dinosaur mask any day. I'm serious, just show up.

J.J. Abrams' Version Of Star Trek's Salt Vampire And Gorn Revealed [io9]

Thanks to Jase, who may or may not have just ordered some Mexican roids and a t-rex mask off eBay. I'll be waiting.

Nov 13 2009 Yes...YES!: Tyrannosaurs Doing It Dino-style

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. Except I'm not so much talking as fantasizing. God I'd love to be in the middle of those two. Ha -- I guess I AM talking about it! Now one of you put those little arms to use and make me a sandwich.

Tyrannosaurus skeleton casts mounted in a mating position, Jurassic Museum of Asturias [wikipedia] (high-res version)

Thanks to Kelly, who just convinced me to buy a one-way ticket to Asturias, Spain.

Oct 19 2009 DO WANT: Tyrannosaurus Rex Wall Decals

This $45 Tyrannosaurs Rex wall decal is available from Etsy seller lildecalshoppe (who will make you any decal you want) and is definitely something I'd never tire of waking up next to. Also, a box of Thin Mints.

* Made from 7 year high quality vinyl * Measures 65 x 45 inches * Available in many other colors. Please email color choice or black will be sent.

We use a durable high grade matte finish vinyl which gives a painted look and feel to your wall. Decals are self adhesive making them easy to apply and remove, leaving no residue behind. This material is specifically made for interior walls and will last a very long time indoors.

7 year vinyl? They're aging their vinyl! If that's not a sign of quality I don't know what is. Because one time I drank 12-year old bourbon and then when I was puking it felt like I was breathing fire. DAMN YEAH JUST LIKE BOWSER!

Product Site

Thanks to twellve, who is totally gonna get one for her new nephew. Jealous!

Oct 7 2009 I Want One: A Dinosaur Head Belt Buckle

I can't remember the last time I had a dino's head so near my genitals because I'm like that guy in Memento, but if I were a betting man I'd say it was sometime last night. But now you can have that happy feeling all the time thanks to this t-rex head belt buckle designed by Kieselstein-Cord.

The t-rex buckle in sterling silver by Kieselstein-Cord. The piece measures 3 1/4 inches by 2 1/4 inches. $2,500.

Wait, did that say $2,500? Because that's ridiculous. I could get you a real dino head belt buckle for that price. Just sayin', I know people (Doc Brown).

Product Site

Thanks to Blackrider23, FutronicX, Dylan and Raptor on a hoverboard, who don't need belt buckles because they don't wear pants. Enough with the pictures guys, I get it.

Oct 4 2009 I Would Totally Suck Those: Dino Ice Bones

These are dino bone shaped ice cube trays from design firm Fred. They come in Triceratops and T-Rex models and I would totally suck on either one. Unfortunately, I can't imagine these bones lasting too long in a drink. OR MY BED.

Need to dig up a clever party accessory? Look no further than our ice-cold fossils - these two assorted dinos will add the perfect Ice Age touch to your modern drinks.

OMG I've never wanted to choke to death on something so bad in my entire life!

Product Site

Thanks to Sarah, who allegedly cools her drinks with actual chilled dinosaur bones. I'm gonna raid your freezer!

Oct 2 2009 One Step Closer To Evolutionary 'Missing Link'

Scientists believe they're one step closer to human evolution's "missing link" with the discovery of new skeletal remains in Ethiopia.

Humanity has a new older sister. A fossilized skeleton of Ardipithecus ramidus or "Ardi" predates Lucy by over a million years. The discovery has led to new insights about human evolution, suggesting previously unknown relationships to our chimpanzee brethren.

The paleobiologists studying Ardi identify hers as an "intermediate" form, one that is bipedal, but at the same time capable of walking on all forms and traveling through trees. Still, although she represents a point past hominids' evolutionary break with gorillas and chimpanzees, she is very different from modern apes. For example, Ardi's had flat hands and feet and flexible wrists, and engaged in a form of locomotion called palmigrady, which is a trait of ancient apes and unlike gorillas and chimpanzees, which are stiff-wristed knuckle-walkers. This suggests that gorilla and chimp ancestors developed their knuckle-walking long after their evolutionary break with hominids.

Interesting. And by interesting I mean Ardi looks like your mom but with nicer tits. AND trim.

New Fossil Discovery is the Closest We've Come to the Missing Link [io9]

Thanks to Julian, who would hit anything with opposable thumbs.

Sep 21 2009 Sweet Fork Arm: Twisted Disney Princesses

Illustrator Jeffrey Thomas created a bunch of darker images of Disney princesses. They were all created prior to the Marvel buyout, so it's just coincidental they look like comic book heroines. WHICH I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER TRY. That said, where are a mermaid's privates? And, if they look like Flounder's mouth there, no thanks. Okay, maybe once. Twice. BUT NO MORE THAN THAT. Four times, tops.

Hit the jump for a couple more of my favorites, and a link to the entire gallery.

Continue Reading " Sweet Fork Arm: Twisted Disney Princesses "

Sep 18 2009 Good Lookin': Mario-Insired Eveningwear

This is a line of Mario-inspired sparkling eveningwear by designer and crafster user montyfull. Nice, but where were these designs when I went to prom 10 years ago? I make sparkles look good!

So I'm a fashion major. Graduated in 2007, and just NOW got around to uploading pics of my stuff! I'm an avid gamer for life. Shooters, RPGs, PC, nintendo, Xbox... I'll play anything if I can afford it. Smiley I also don't like to take myself too seriously, so I decided that my senior collection was going to be mario eveningwear. Ya know, lots of sequins, duchess satin, chiffon, coupled with the crazy icons we know and love.

I, for one, am not ashamed to admit I'd rock the hell out of any of these designs. Plus, I'd even tape my penis to my leg. BECAUSE I'M A LADY.

Hit the jump for a close-up of the Mario face one complete with NES controller garter belt.

Continue Reading " Good Lookin': Mario-Insired Eveningwear "

Sep 16 2009 No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOO!: Yaddle Love Aid

For those of you who don't know, Yaddle is a female Jedi of Yoda's species (whatever the hell those green freaks are). And what you're about to see, if you're brave enough to hit the jump, is a homemade lovemaking aid featuring a picture of Yaddle and a green Fleshlight. And for those of you who don't know what a Fleshlight is: congratulations, you're our only hope.

WARNING: IMAGE CANNOT BE UNSEEN.

Hit the jump and get it over with. Feel the burn.

Continue Reading " No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOO!: Yaddle Love Aid "

Aug 26 2009 Do Want: Dinosaur Shaped Sandwich Cutter

SILF? SILF!

Picture

Thanks to boo, who actually took the picture but didn't bother buying me the cutter. Damnit, boo.

Aug 12 2009 I Want All Three!: Do It Yourself Dino Lamps

If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas, these dinosaur lamps from ThinkGeek are the perfect present for your Geekologie Writer.

All three (triceratops, diplodocus and t-rex) of these dinosaur lamps are constructed from precision cut sheets of flexible plastic which you slot together to create the finished glowing sculpture. Construction time is about 30-40 minutes, but the directions are very clear with detailed photographs of each step.

Each lamp will set you back a cool $20, and, obviously, I want all three. Now I'm not saying I've never made love to a lamp shade before, because I totally have. But I actually like these ones enough to call them the morning after. You hear that, banker's lamp shade? Your green ass meant nothing to me!

ThinkGeek Product Page

Thanks to ryco, virus and Watch-303, who know what I like. I like pizza!

Aug 5 2009 Is This The Luckiest Man On Planet Earth?

What I wouldn't give to switch places with this guy for 30 minutes. 30 minutes!

Robotic Dinosaurs Ponder Man's Extinction [gizmodo]

Jul 28 2009 Seriously Bro, You Stink: Doc Bottoms Aspray

Doc Bottoms Aspray is an all over body deodorant that allegedly cuts your funk by neutralizing bacteria. Who knows, maybe it works. One thing's for certain though: this commercial doesn't.

Aspray goes where other deodorants can't. Aspray you butt. Aspray your feet. Aspray under your arms -- you can even Aspray your privates

Really? Was that really necessary? WHO DOESN'T KNOW THEY CAN ASPRAY THEIR PRIVATES?!? I'm an Old Spice guy though. Just sayin', IT BUUUUURNS!

Youtube

Thanks to Harry, Jennifer and Spider, who all stink. Especially Jennifer.

Jul 27 2009 Gallery: Sexy Comic-Con Cosplay Girls

Remember last year's girls of Comic-Con gallery? Well MaximumPC went above and beyond the call of duty this year with over 600 cosplay pictures from the event. I ran through them all and randomly grabbed about 20 of the sexiest, but there are a ton more to see, so hit the jump for my favorites, and the link for the rest. One thing is for certain though: THIS GUY IS GOING TO COMIC-CON next year. And he is going to have a booth. A KISSING ONE. Ladies -- do I hear a nickel?

Jump. But warning: there's a thong in the mix. Because I love you.

Continue Reading " Gallery: Sexy Comic-Con Cosplay Girls "

Jul 23 2009 Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition

This is a video of the winners from the American Library Association's Book Cart Drill Team World Championship. I'm not even kidding. I AM ADULTING.

The secret lives of librarians took center stage at the American Library Association's annual conference earlier this month. There was dancing, there were costumes, there was music, and, of course, there were book carts.

Teams bring acrobatic splits, book cart headlights, and dry ice effects to the floor in the quest to win first place and the coveted gold book cart trophy that comes with it. "It changes the whole image of librarians," added Ison.

Needless to say, this is some of the sexiest footage I've seen IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. And I used to judge the Geriatric Olympics, so I know my stuff.

Hit the jump for the second and third place winners.

Continue Reading " Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition "

Jul 22 2009 That's Geeky: Poster Of Computer Hardware

This is a poster of computer hardware designed by deviantART user Sonic480. Since it's kind of small, you can see a full size version HERE. Then, print it out and tack it to the ceiling above your bed. Move over, Megan Fox, there's a new poster in town my room. Just look at those CPU sockets -- YOW YOW!

The Computer Hardware Chart Identifies Your PC's Parts [lifehacker]

Thanks again to GreenBoss, who once beat FuchsiaBoss in a silicon chip eating contest.

Jul 14 2009 Olivia Munn: Girl At The Video Game Store

This is Olivia Munn (of G4's Attack of the Show my dreams fame) in a music video by Parry Gripp called The Girl in the Video Game Store. I liked it, and not just because of the brief Zelda cosplay action (although that certainly didn't hurt). You know, I too have fallen in love with a girl at the video game store. It took me over a month to finally get up the nerve to ask her out. And you know what she said when I did? Nothing -- turns out she was a Chun Li cardboard stand up! I still copped a feel.

Youtube

Thanks to Edd, who has a Princess Leia stand up in his bedroom STRICTLY FOR DECORATION. Ha, whatever you say, buddy.

Jul 10 2009 Death Star Of Hearts: Star Wars Tattoo Chick

Fail? She's all win in my book. Between Boba Fett and the heart-shaped Death Star, I would do all sorts of things to this woman. Namely: try to introduce myself, get choked up, point my finger at her yelling "pew pew pew!", and then sob into my Star Wars beach towel.

Failblog

Thanks to Johnny Freightliner, who may or may not be hauling pirated goods.

Jul 8 2009 Potentially Dangerous: The 120-Zipper Dress

The 120-Zipper dress from designer Sebastian Errazuriz may or may not actually have 120 zippers (it doesn't), but is cool nonetheless. I mean, I wouldn't wear it, but I've had too many zipping accidents. You see this? Button fly....okay, or possibly me naked. What? SOMETIMES I FORGET WHAT I'M WEARING.

What might be most remarkable about this design is how quickly it can shift from elegant to sexy, a full-length, single-piece dress one could potentially wear to work into a skimpy, short-cut, two-piece number that could put some bikinis to shame. In between there are any number of other options for shortening the top or bottom or even leaving some zippers partly on and partly off.

I'd go out with you if you wore this. Seriously, and I'd even look past your peg-eye and club foot. At least until I left you for a girl in Velcro. It's a cold hard world baby, and my heart's a Sno-Cone machine.

Hit the jump to see a bunch of the possibilities.

Continue Reading " Potentially Dangerous: The 120-Zipper Dress "

Jun 23 2009 The Kush: $55 Nighttime Breast Support

The Kush is a $55 (PLUS S&H!) piece of molded plastic women put between their breasts before bed to "gently support and cushion the weight of a woman's breasts". $55, really? For $10 I'll come over and slip my own, much more natural breast supporter between those puppies. Obviously, I'm talking about a rolling pin. Ladies? Come on -- I'll let you make cookies in the morning!

Kush infomercial makes everyone feel good [adfreak]

Thanks to Todd and Jcon, who are selling empty soda cans for $5. But if you're worried your breasts might crush a can, call me.