Nov 13 2009 Yes...YES!: Tyrannosaurs Doing It Dino-style
Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. Except I'm not so much talking as fantasizing. God I'd love to be in the middle of those two. Ha -- I guess I AM talking about it! Now one of you put those little arms to use and make me a sandwich.
Tyrannosaurus skeleton casts mounted in a mating position, Jurassic Museum of Asturias [wikipedia] (high-res version)
Thanks to Kelly, who just convinced me to buy a one-way ticket to Asturias, Spain.
Oct 28 2009 Just Ordered Two Cases: Dinosaur Condoms
That's right, dinosaur shaped condoms. Available from Willy Wardrobe (probably NSFW, but also has a bunch of other novelty condoms), each Stegosaurus E-Rex will set you back £2.50 (~$4) and is not recommended for re-use (even though you and I both know you totally will anyway).
A bit of a sexual fossil? Then this dinosaur condom is for you!
Warning: Sold as novelty only. Product may be used during intercourse although there is no guarantee that it will prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.Also, not responsible for lost spines.
Okay, so I made that last part up. Still, you've got to wonder. WONDER WHY NOBODY WAS MAKING THESE EARLIER! Plus, they like a perfect fit to me. Pfft, don't even act like your penis doesn't have feet too.
Thanks to Starchitect, Ezrail, david, DatsMark, Xavire, Ross, John, sara, Jody and clipper, for knowing me all too well.
Oct 7 2009 I Want One: A Dinosaur Head Belt Buckle
I can't remember the last time I had a dino's head so near my genitals because I'm like that guy in Memento, but if I were a betting man I'd say it was sometime last night. But now you can have that happy feeling all the time thanks to this t-rex head belt buckle designed by Kieselstein-Cord.
The t-rex buckle in sterling silver by Kieselstein-Cord. The piece measures 3 1/4 inches by 2 1/4 inches. $2,500.
Wait, did that say $2,500? Because that's ridiculous. I could get you a real dino head belt buckle for that price. Just sayin', I know people (Doc Brown).
Thanks to Blackrider23, FutronicX, Dylan and Raptor on a hoverboard, who don't need belt buckles because they don't wear pants. Enough with the pictures guys, I get it.
Oct 6 2009 I Couldn't Make This Up: New 'Horny Ballerina' Species Of Tyrannosaurus Discovered
That's right folks, scientists have discovered a new species of tyrannosaurus, completely different than the much larger (and arguably sexier) t-rex everyone is accustomed to. But you've got to admit, this little bugger is cute as a button.
The new, more graceful tyrannosaur is named Alioramus altai.
A. altai apparently has a similar skeleton to larger Tyrannosaur-type dinos such as Tarbosaurus, Alioramus, Gorgosaurus etc. But among these burly heavyweights, A. altai was surely the butt of cruel locker-room bullying and dino towel-snapping, weighing in at a puny 800 pounds or so - half the weight of the regular tyrannosaurs. The ballerina-esque, "gracile" A. altai also differed from the big boys in having horns and an elongated snout.The new dino was slim, light on its feet, horny and partial to meat
HIYO -- just like every ballerina I've ever known! Except the lesbians (no meat).
Horny new 'ballerina' Tyrannosaur was light on its feet [theregister]
Thanks to Barry and Kelly, who have danced with the dinosaurs in the pale moonlight and lived to tell about it.
Oct 5 2009 Great News!: All Dinosaurs Go To Heaven
In wonderful news, at least according to this $18 t-shirt design from Threadless (where were you on this, CNN?!), all dinosaurs go to heaven. So yeah, maybe there's a merciful God after all. But, as a guy who wasn't ever planning on seeing the pearly gates: does the Catholic church still do that thing they used to where you pay to have your sins absolved? And, if so, can I borrow some money? Couple mill should do me.
Thanks to Adam, who's trying his hardest to go to hell because he heard that's where all marsupials go. You're sick.
Sep 30 2009 It's About Time!: A Dinosaur Serving Spoon
I can honestly say I've never wanted to have sex with a bowl of noodles so bad in my entire life. Well, that's not entirely true.
Thanks to Carolina, who only eats her pasta the way god intended: with Mario and Luigi.
Sep 20 2009 Good Lookin': Kiasaurus Spotted At Walmart
So I got so drunk last night I woke up this morning and didn't even know I was the Geekologie Writer. Also, I think I pissed the bed but I'm too afraid to smell it. But that's neither here nor there, what is here is this Kia Stegosaurus spotted at Wal-Mart (three Wal-Mart automotive posts in a week, I blow goats love dinos!) I'll lay off them, I swear. Seriously though, is this not the most beautiful automobile you've ever seen? Because I would 115% rear-end the hell out of that sucker. IM IN UR TAILPIPE VOIDIN UR WARRANTY!
StegaCARous [peopleofwalmart]
Thanks to killerabbit, Johannes, Spikey DaPikey, N!9htR3@p3r, TabiCat, Greg and Lizzie, who all agree I would look good in this thing.
Sep 16 2009 No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOO!: Yaddle Love Aid
For those of you who don't know, Yaddle is a female Jedi of Yoda's species (whatever the hell those green freaks are). And what you're about to see, if you're brave enough to hit the jump, is a homemade lovemaking aid featuring a picture of Yaddle and a green Fleshlight. And for those of you who don't know what a Fleshlight is: congratulations, you're our only hope.
WARNING: IMAGE CANNOT BE UNSEEN.
Hit the jump and get it over with. Feel the burn.
Aug 26 2009 I Love Science: Scientist Plan to 'Reverse-Engineer' Dinosaurs From Modern Chickens
In the best news I've heard in a while, a scientist at McGill University in Montreal (I love you, Canada) is attempting to reverse engineer a dinosaur from a chicken "by altering chicken genes known to have evolved since the Cretaceous."
Needless to say, there are many problems with the very concept of making a dinosaur out of a chicken. For one, dinosaurs, as a group, are defined by only a few characteristics: a hole in their hip socket, some limb bone flanges, and other minor anatomical features. Changing chicken DNA won't produce those traits, because chickens already have them. A chicken, like all birds, is already a dinosaur. Getting rid of its feathers or giving it teeth won't make it more of a dinosaur than it already is.
What in the -- chickens ARE dinosaurs? To the colonel's farm, STAT -- I'm gonna roll myself in corn and die happy!
Scientist Vows To Reverse-Engineer Dinosaur From Chicken [popsci]
Thanks to James, Alexander the Viking, Mr. Robbot, Adam, Dustin, Erik, Myriapode, Tigerh8r, Pepe la PEWPEW, Dominik and Caroline, who will never look at a drumstick the same.
Aug 20 2009 RAWR!: The Best iPhone Dock Ever Made
This is an iPhone dock made out of a dinosaur toy. You can make one yourself if you want. You just cut a hole in a dinosaur toy, maybe pleasure yourself with it a couple times because I mean, it's there, and then stuff the docking wire in there. It is seriously the best iPhone dock you could possibly ever make and I don't want any lip about it. I mean it, what I say goes. I am the world's greatest lover. BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW CAUSE I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL. No, I said special, not special needs.
iPhone Dinosaur Dock Is Bound To Rule Them All [iphonesavior]
Thanks to Byll and Aaron, who, RAWR! Okay, now I'm in the mood.
Aug 13 2009 Why Not?: Send A Text Message To Aliens
HelloFromEarth.net is a website where you can submit text messages to be broadcast to Gliese 581d, a planet 20-light years away that may or may not support life (but 100% does). You have until the 24th of the month to submit your texts. Aaaaaaand here are some awful examples of why the aliens are gonna come kill us all.
Come here and take me with us. Here everyone is crazy.
Ever heard of Jesus? He's pretty awesome. Yay space travel!... hi....... hehehehehhehehehehee (runs off giggling like a little school girl at lunch over a cute boy)
Of course, not everyone can be an idiot moron, so thankfully there were a couple people who actually know how to talk to aliens.
You are cordially invited to an Interplanetary BBQ. 6.00pm, 4th October, 2452 at my place BYO Meat and Beer. RSVP: Year 2100 Cheers
Junjun, I love you forever. Although we are different and our love is not accepted by others,I cant stop loving you.I want to share my dream with you forever.
Hell yeah, Junjun, get you some! Share that dream. Share it ALL. NIGHT. LONG.
Thanks to Katie and Harsh, who accidentally sexted the aliens. Nice going, guys (forward them to me).
Aug 5 2009 Is This The Luckiest Man On Planet Earth?
What I wouldn't give to switch places with this guy for 30 minutes. 30 minutes!
Aug 4 2009 Mario And Peach, Together (Sexually) At Last
NOTE: VIDEO IS NSFW DUE TO LEWD SEXY TALK AND LOTS OF MOANING.
This is a video of Mario and Princess Peach finally consummating their relationship. I almost cried it was so romantic. But I didn't, because I'm a big boy and I wear big boy pants (I sobbed like a baby). Also, fair warning: there's a whole lot of Peach moaning in the video which is kind of weird if there are other people around. Hell, I felt awkward and I'm the only one here. Except for the dog, who I'm pretty sure thought I was watching porno. I said stop staring at me -- it's a cartoon!
Mario and Princess Sex Tape [collegehumor]
Thanks to Julian, who dated Princess Peach in high school but broke up with her because she wouldn't do his algebra homework. Pfft, what are girlfriends for?
Jul 30 2009 Pikachu Was The Hottest Girl At Comic-Con?
According to who? Because I don't remember getting a ballot. Or past security. But there's a bunch more shots of Pikachu girl Jessica Nigri after the jump so you can draw your own conclusions. Personally, I prefer the original Pikachu girl (this one, not this one) better. And I'm not just saying that because I know her, but I do. And before you ask, no, she sadly doesn't do birthdays.
Hit it for a whole bunch more.
Continue Reading " Pikachu Was The Hottest Girl At Comic-Con? "
Jul 24 2009 Handerpants: Underpants For Your Hands
Handerpants are a real product and apparently people are willing to pay $12 for them. Amazing -- even in a recession some people can't get their fill of novelty underwear. Or booze. I'm gonna stick with booze. I CAN HAZ GLUG?
Are you really naked under those gloves? For Pete's sake, put on some Handerpants! These 95% cotton, 5% spandex, fingerless gloves have the look and feel of men's briefs. Slip them on underneath your gloves for extra warmth and protection from chafing! Wear them on their own as a vaguely inappropriate fashion statement! Hundreds of uses! Fits most adult hands.
Yeah, well what if I have child-sized hands? Should I stuff a sock in these too? NOT THAT I'VE EVER DONE THAT (I use an old sweatshirt).
Hit the jump for a fairly painful infomercial for the things.
Jul 23 2009 Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition
This is a video of the winners from the American Library Association's Book Cart Drill Team World Championship. I'm not even kidding. I AM ADULTING.
The secret lives of librarians took center stage at the American Library Association's annual conference earlier this month. There was dancing, there were costumes, there was music, and, of course, there were book carts.
Teams bring acrobatic splits, book cart headlights, and dry ice effects to the floor in the quest to win first place and the coveted gold book cart trophy that comes with it. "It changes the whole image of librarians," added Ison.
Needless to say, this is some of the sexiest footage I've seen IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. And I used to judge the Geriatric Olympics, so I know my stuff.
Hit the jump for the second and third place winners.
Continue Reading " Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition "
Jul 22 2009 Robot Built To Model Wedding Dresses
'Miimu', a HRP-4C robot, is seen here being utilized as a runway model for Japanese fashion designer Yumi Katsura's line of bridal gowns. And, since I know women so well, I'll give you men a little insight into how their minds work.
"I really love this dress -- but how would it look on a robot?"Which brings up another disconcerting thought -- robot marriage. And you know what's sad? They'll probably allow unholy robotic matrimony before gay marriage. And that, my friends, makes me want to blow up the moon. And I don't even care if it's delicious cheese.
It's a nice day for a robot wedding [metro]
Thanks to Doctor Steel and Graf Zeppelin, who together form Doctor Graf Steel Zeppelin, which, you know, is pretty cool.
Jul 21 2009 Magical: This Three Keyboard Cat Moon Shirt
If the 3 Wolf Moon Shirt was magical, imagine the spells you'll be able to cast with this $20 3 Keyboard Cat Moon Shirt! I mean, it combines the sorcery of the 3 wolf moon shirt AND keyboard cat. Rumor has it, the shirt is so powerful it brought somebody's grandmother back to life and got her pregnant. Seriously, I'm not making this up. Yes I am. It was actually somebody's grandfather. Play me off, keyboard cat!
Thanks to Travis, who once wore a 3 Keyboard Cat Moon shirt to a concert and got to sing with the band on stage.
Jul 14 2009 Good Lookin': Punkified Nintendo Heroines
This is a drawing by Agent Melon of Princess Peach, Princess Zelda and Samus Aran hanging out all sexy and punkified. Now why Peach has a Bowser tattoo on her stomach is beyond me, but that wouldn't stop me from talking to it when we're getting intimate. I SAID "RAWR!", BOWSER, ANSWER ME!
Nintendo Punk [agentmelon]
Thanks to Paul, who may or may not troll Hot Topik to meet girls.
Jul 9 2009 Help Female Geekologie Reader Find Undies
So I got a strange request from a female reader and, being the sucker lover of women's underwear gentleman that I am, I figured you guys might be able to help. But please note: you will receive no credit for your contribution, because I will tell her I did it all.
----- Original Message -----From: A Sexy Reader
To: The Geekologie Writer
Sent: Thursday, July 09, 2009 3:22 AM
Subject: NEED HELP!!!If there's anyone who can help me here, i know you can!!! I've been searching on the web for a while but am starting to get SUPER BUMMED! I even posted a YAHOO ANSWERS question (LINK) but no luck! Long story short, I want to expand my undie collection. I love my care bears and all... but it's time to add to it... Problem is I don't know where to find adult, female underwear with sweet graphics/logos like TMNT, MEGA MAN, TETRIS, G.I. JOE, POWER RANGERS (only the originals), STREET FIGHTER, X-MEN, ZELDA, etc.
Surely you've HAD to have come across some websites that can answer my problem!? Please let me know! Also, you are so totally handsome I will send you pictures if you help me out!
What -- no I didn't add that last part myself! I added that last part myself. :(
