Jan 29 2009 Guy Selling Himself As Slave On eBay
I'm pretty sure by definition you can't sell yourself as a slave for a month, because that kind of negates the whole slavery thing. This guy is basically a really douche-y manservant. I mean, he's no Alfred.
What we have for auction today is a slave, a very fit male slave. He is twenty-four years of age, measure five foot ten inches, and weighs eleven stone. This slave is college educated, hard working, and ready to tackle any task you may have for him.
The terms of the auction are as follows.The winning bidder will receive the slave seen in the picture for a period no less than 28 days, but for no more than a period of 31 days.
The winning bidder must be able to provide shelter for the slave in the form of a spare bedroom, a couch, a tent, a hammock, or a tree-house.
The slave is not a sexual slave, and will not under any circumstances partake in any form of sexual activities with his master. This auction is not sexual in anyway shape or form. DO YOU HEAR ME EBAY, THIS IS NOT SEXUAL! OK THANKS!
The slave will not follow any instruction that will most likely result in his death or serious disfigurement.
I dunno, I thought about buying him to walk up and down the highway in the snow with a sandwich board advertising Geekologie, but then I realized I'd probably be too tempted to run him over myself. And what does 'serious disfigurement' mean? Does cutting off a finger count? Because I only consider that minor disfigurement. Quick, to Wendy's!
Hit the jump for two more pictures of the questionable slave.
Oct 8 2008 Wait, What?: A Monkey Waiter
I don't have much more information on this except apparently there's some Asian restaurant with a monkey waiter that brings your food and drinks. If that's not freaking crazy, I don't know what is. Just look at his cute little -- BASTARD JUST THREW A TURD AT ME!
Youtube
Thanks to Bryan, who owns a restaurant with a dinosaur server that accused me of grabbing its ass. I did!
Jun 27 2008 Wait, What? You Put The Servers Where?
So some company's lease expired and they had to move to different offices in the same building -- the only problem is there was nowhere to put their servers. So did they just fire an intern and and put them it in the poor sap's office? No. They did what any reasonable company would do and built a server room only accessible via another company's women's restroom. You know, in the handicapped stall.
The company's executives signed a new lease and prepared to move. There was, however, just one, small hitch. The nice little server room they built in the back of their office - equipped with air conditioning units, ventilation, dedicated power, backup power, and so on - could not be relocated. Not only would it cost too much, but there was simply no room for it. The server room would just have to remain upstairs.
Obviously, the new second-floor tenant wouldn't want their neighbors walking through their office to access a server room, so building management and the company's executives came up with an alternative: wall off the server room door and build a new one. It seemed simple enough, but there was, however, just one small hitch. The only available wall to install a door was adjacent to the women's restroom. Inside the handicapped stall.
Ha, that's great. And no, Superficial Writer, you can't go check on the servers again. That's like the third time you've asked this morning.
Server room built into ladies' room handicapped stall [bbgadgets]
Jun 6 2008 Online Service Sends Emails To Nonbelieving Friends/Family Left Behind After The "Rapture"
Youvebeenleftbehind.com is an online service that will send emails (assuming computers still work) to as many as 62 nonbelieving friends/family after you, the good Christian, have been conveniently relocated to heaven during the "Rapture".
We have set up a system to send documents by email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 Christian team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.
Interesting. The service costs $40 a year and I just signed up. Of course, I'm only sending a single email:
Future Me,
Surprise, surprise -- you didn't make the cut. Now you're f***ed.
Website Lets You Send A Post-Rapture Email To Friends 'Left Behind' [wired]
Thanks to Sam for reminding me there are more apocalypses to worry about than just robot/zombie ones
Sep 25 2007 Not Found Bumper Sticker Lacks Cool Factor
I'm perfectly happy with my "If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk" bumper sticker. But it's different strokes for different folks. Maybe this is more your style. I hope not though, because it's painfully uncool. Using my detective skills I noticed there were two other files missing from this guy's server. 1. rust-free-exterior.pnt and 2. anyfemales4me.vrgn
Not Found Bumper Stick Lacks Cool Factor [techeblog]
Aug 20 2007 Apple G3 Beer Server
Some crazy nutjob (read: genius) Mac fan has developed the computer of my dreams, the Apple G3 Beer Server. Now from the picture you can tell that it serves beer, which is all a computer really needs to do in my book, but allegedly it still does some computing stuff too (although I am doubtful). According to an industry professional (me), nothing quite says "Honey, I'll be locked in my office for the next 14 hours" like a frosty mug and the Beer Server G3 loaded to the gills with sexy internet pictures.
Apple G3 Beer Server [gizmodo]
