Aug 31 2009 I've Seen It All Now: A 2:30 News Report About A Broom That Stands On Its Own
This is a two and a half minute news report from Alabama about a woman who thinks there's "a little holy spirit" in her new consignment shop because she can stand a broom up unsupported in three separate locations. I watched the whole thing but I highly recommend you not unless you really hate yourself or are into masochism (I am). Which reminds me -- did I ever tell you about the time I had a woman stomp around on my chest with golf cleats on and then hit balls off my nipples? Of course not, cause it's none of your business. Fore!
Hit the jump for an equally horrible (but MUST SEE) news report about a bear in some woman's backyard, complete with cardboard cutout reenactment.
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Aug 10 2009 Man Blames Cat For Downloading Illegal Porn
A Florida man blamed his cat after officials busted the failure at life for downloading over a thousand images of kitty kiddy porn.
Griffin told police he had been downloading music, and that his cat jumped on the keyboard when he left the room. He said "strange things" appeared on the computer when he returned.
He is being held in Martin county jail on $250,000 bond. No word on any charges against the cat.
In related news, all poorly written Geekologie posts were actually my dog. WOOF!
Florida man blames cat for illegal downloads [guardian]
Thanks to twellve, Richard and Chuck Nunchuck, who only blame their pets for missing homework and farting.
Jun 11 2009 Dino Break Ups: The Story Of My Life
If you've ever wanted to get to know me better, watch this video -- it's the story of my life. And, if you can't tell, I don't perform well in relationships. But don't let that stop you. Ladies?
Thanks to helliebee and Megan, who just realized they don't want to date me after all.
