Nov 16 2009 Glowing Booze!: Electroluminescent Bottles
Apparently battery-powered illuminated liquor bottles are becoming all the rage. They're supposed to grab your attention when you're trying to decide what to order at the bar. Yeah, TOO BAD I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT (one of everything -- and keep the cherries coming).
Ballantine's new "Listen to Your Beat" campaign includes an electroluminescent label with graphic equalizer display. Designed by London-based "The Core," this label is more evidence of a trend towards animated, self-illuminating liquor labels. Similar to these battery-powered T-shirts, audio references seem to occur frequently in youth-oriented liquor packaging. (The J&B bottle above is another example.)
You know if you really want to sell liquor you don't need ridiculous gimmicks like light-up bottles. No, what you need is me. I could sell firewater to a teetotaler AND get him to drink it. CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! Aaaaaand you're vomiting on my shoes. Now wipe your mouth, we're doing it again.
Hit the jump for several videos of light-up bottles in action.
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Oct 20 2009 Haha!: Home Shopping Network Wii Accident
This is a video of some idiot on the Home Shopping Network trying to sell a Wii bundle that includes the console and 15 piece of shit Wiimote attachments for a staggering $330. He doesn't do a good job, which brought great joy and happiness to my life. Just watch, you can probably guess what happens. Unless you guessed, "he stabs himself with a samurai sword or falls off a ladder", in which case, God you suck at guessing.
How not to play Wii, courtesy of the Home Shopping Network [pluggedin]
Thanks to jessica, who once put her fist through the television playing Wii boxing but it's okay because it wasn't a flatscreen.
Oct 12 2009 Sad: Donkey Kong Reduced To Selling Soda
Seen here unsuccessfully threatening a blurry old man with the 1-2 punch that used to make Mario shit his pants and cry, Donkey Kong, the once fearful gorilla, has been reduced to hocking root beer at local grocery stores. It's a sad day. Also, those arms look a little precarious. I'm definitely gonna stand under one and have a friend push a bunch of cases onto my head. Then, provided I don't get all brain damaged, sue the grocery store. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?! Cleanup in aisle six.
Donkey Kong Soda Display [pixelatedgeek]
Thanks to Jessica, who once laughed so hard she shot root beer out her nose when a friend was telling a joke. It stung. Like a bee, but different.
Oct 7 2009 Carving With A Lightsaber: Jack-O-Vader
This is a Darth Vader and Yoda display made of fake carve-able pumpkins at some arts and crafts store in Roseville, MN. It serves as a perfect example of how NOT to sell fake pumpkins (Vader -- what the hell's on the end of your lightsaber?!). Listen -- you wanna sell foam pumpkins? I've got two words for you: naked....naked. Haha, I lost my train of thought. Naked something. Anything, I don't care what. BOOM, SOLD!
Darth Pumpkin and Yod-o'-lantern [gizmodo]
Jul 15 2009 'Rad To The Power Of Sick' BMX Bike Actually (Successful) Experiment In Creative Marketing
That's right, the infamous 'Rad to the power of Sick' BMX bike ad on eBay was actually created by a couple guys doing an experiment (The Wicked Sick Project) to determine if some creative marketing could drive up an otherwise regular item's sale price. Obviously, it worked. And, keeping with today's theme of Geekologie's world domination, your favorite website makes a cameo in the video at 2:55. I guess what I'm getting at is this: WHERE'S MY CUT OF THE PROFITS YOU SONS OF BITCHES?! You think the booze that fuels Geekologie pays for itself? You think my girlfriend doesn't make me pay the water bill for staying with her? You think strippers tip themselves just because I'm handsome? Okay, the last one is actually true. Go ahead Savannah, give yourself another single -- you've earned it.
Thanks to mike, whose bike horn alone is enough to get women pregnant.
Jun 11 2009 DO NOT OUTBID ME: How To Sell A Washer
As we've learned in the past, personal selling takes skills. We've seen people do it right, and we've seen people do it horribly, horribly wrong. This is another example of successful selling.
Once while washing a load of towells it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the otherside and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held onto for my life to the deepfreeze. It sucked my shoes and pants off though and it got the iron as well which pissed me off because it was quite a good one. Luckily it sucked it's own power cord out of the wall and stopped before the whole house went in.I drew a picture of the dinosaurs i saw incase people didn't believe me, they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through.
Well, it's been real folks, but I'm boldly going where no man has gone before. Pantless. DINO-RIIIIIIDERS!
Hit the jump to read the entire ad (which is actually mad long) and see the dinosaurs.
Apr 10 2009
ShamWow Sells Like Hot Cakes Bluth Corn Baller In Spanish Speaking Countries
This is Vince "Punchahook" Shlomi selling ShamWows in Spanish. And yes, it's every bit as "I want to beat him till he bleeds" as it sounds. Even worse. I actually put my monitor in a choke-hold just watching it. Now tap out or you're dead. I mean it!
Vince Tries To Sell ShamWow In Spanish [consumerist]
Mar 9 2009 Loewe Sound: A Cute Audio Commercial
This is a cute commercial for European-based electronics manufacturer, Loewe. The ad was designed to highlight their "extremely realistic sound", but to me it highlighted how cool a human remote-controller would be. Sorry, what was that? Haha -- you've been muted, son!
Thanks to Florian, who accidentally hit the power button and killed his roommate.
