Jun 26 2009 Vroom Vroom?: Piaggio's 3-Wheeled Scooter
Two wheels in the front, one in the back -- that's crazy talk! But not for this Piaggio scooter, which looks eerily like the lovechild of my moped and Darth Vader's Segway.
The Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter ($9,000) features a unique three-wheel design, providing a more stable, secure, and easier ride. Features include a 493cc engine, a maximum speed of 89mph, 55-57 mpg gas mileage, a lean angle of 40 degrees, 20% less braking distance than traditional two-wheeled scooters, and aggressive looks that will help you stand out from the Vespa crowd.
I really want one, but I know that it would kill me. Well technically IT wouldn't kill me, it would be hitting the bottom of the canyon.
Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter [uncrate]
Thanks to naas, who once popped a wheelie and crashed into a telephone pole. He limped from the scene.
Apr 17 2009 Legway: Segway's Steampunk Predecessor
The Legway was the original inspiration for Gob Bluth's preferred method of transportation, the Segway. As you can see, it's made out of copper piping, wood, and a heaping portion of leg muscle.
It's actually a variation of the Universe Cycle, with handlebars. I'd love to see a video to see how wonky it is to drive. The builder says it's not that hard and he's gotten pretty good at it.
"Gotten pretty good at it". Ha, that's just techno-babble for "WTF was I thinking tearing the pipes out of the guest bathroom?" Also, do you think the pet store will let me return a frozen dove for a full refund?
Hit the jump for a steampunk snowboard, because, why the hell not?
Apr 7 2009 GM And Segway Making P.U.M.A. 'Car', Looks Suspiciously Like A Motorized Wheelchair
General Motors and Segway have teamed up to produce what might very well be a slightly modified Hoveround. It's self-balancing like a Segway, but with the style and quality you've come to expect from GM. And as you can see, they do come with the Gob Bluth seal of excitement.
The self-balancing Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility Project (P.U.M.A.) can reach top speeds of 35 MPH, has a lithium battery that lasts up to 35 miles with a single charge, and features vehicle-to-vehicle (V2V) communication for potentially reducing the number of accidents. No word on when or if this'll actually go into production but it's expected to be priced at just 25% that of a regular automobile.
Wow, that is one vehicle (in addition to a seatless bicycle) I can safely say I have absolutely no interest in driving. My God -- could you imagine getting T-boned in that thing? *BOOM* Porterhoused!
GM and Segway's P.U.M.A. unveiled and no, this isn't a joke [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who successfully rode a Segway down a flight of stairs but then got hit by a bicycle messenger at the bottom and lost a tooth. It was never found.
Mar 19 2009 Segway Shmegway -- I Want A Cajun Crawler
Segways are stupid and have wheels. Cajun Crawlers are awesome and have little feet that can scurry you across the room like a bug quicker than you can say, "Gob would love this!"
Based on the work of kinetic sculptor Theo Jansen, the Cajun Crawler holds up a Segway-style platform with a scary collection of steampunk-like mechanical legs, which can scurry across a floor with surprising agility. The project was built by a team of folks at the University of Louisiana.
Skip to about 1:00 for the action to begin. And action it is! My God that thing is creepy as all hell. One part of me wants to yell "ROBOT!" and smash it to pieces but another wants to ride it into the gently rolling surf until I'm submerged, where I'll be greeted by topless mermaids whom I will pose with and then post the pictures on my Facebook. Later that night, I'll come back with a snorkel and seduce one into living in my bathtub. Just like Tom Hanks in Splash, but with a harpoon.
Cajun Crawler swaps Segway wheels for Theo Jansen's creepy leg mechanism [engadget]
Thanks to Leon, The Short One and Phecda, who are cool with just walking.
Aug 1 2008 Segway Competition: Toyota's Winglet
The Winglet Advanced Scooter is Toyota's attempt at a smaller, more agile Segway. I wouldn't be caught dead on one, but I would ride it until I got hit by a car and launched clear off. Then I'd be caught dead on the pavement. Win-win. Skip to the second half of the video to see a woman riding it without the stupid handle in the way. It looks a lot cooler like that. Also, sweet ass-shot at 0:41. I'm not the pervert, you're the pervert. You looked didn't you? Haha, gimme that neck!
Jul 18 2008 Eye Candy: More Chinese Anti-Terrorism Exercises For The Olympics, With Captions!
Remember the picture of the Chinese military on Segways as part of an anti-terrorism exercise? Well it turns out there's a whole bunch more of them performing various drills. And I've posted them here for your viewing pleasure. This is one of the group practicing their synchronized flailing routine.
Hit the jump for 7 more, with captions!
Jul 11 2008 Dummy On Segway Kisses Another Dummy
This is allegedly a Segway crash-test video used to determine the effects (including potential eroticism) that can occur when someone plows their Segway into a stationary person. If you can't watch it, it basically looks like two dummies kissing. Honestly, I don't even know why they performed this test in the first place. I can tell you what happens when you crash your Segway into something: you look even stupider.
Segway Crash Test is Awkward For All Parties Involved [gizmodo]
Jul 3 2008 Chinese Military Prepares For Olympics
So your good buddy The Geekologie Writer got what is known in the medical field as "f***ed the f*** up" last night because his wife made the mistake of going out of town for the holiday weekend. He hit wing night, drank like 300 beers, and then proceeded to sing "Ring Of Fire" at karaoke (he has a deep, sexy voice just like Cash). Good times. His hands are still shaking. Anyway, this is a picture of the Chinese military during a rapid deployment exercise in preparation for the upcoming Olympics. Because, let's face it, nothing says "I'm going for the gold!" like military personnel dry humping Segways.
Thanks Guillaume, I did a Segway once, but it was nothing compared to a Hoveround.
Jul 1 2008 T3 Mobile Defender Rocks A Powerful Air Gun
Lamperd Less Lethal's T3 Mobile Defender wasn't inspired by T3:Rise of The Machines, but it does look like the bastard lovechild of a Segway and the Big Wheels I had growing up. But with one worthwhile difference -- a powerful air gun and holographic sight system. The aiming system was designed to ensure body shots only, as a headshot could, well, kill you. Lamperd plans to sell the goofy looking things to the Army at first, but law enforcement organizations will have them available soon after.
"An eyepiece shows a red target dot, and then transmits an image of the target to a monitor, which relays the information to the gun." According to creator Barry Lamperd, if the holographic sight is on target, you can't miss.
Can't miss, huh? That's a pretty bold statement. Because I've had my member resting on the urinal cake before and still missed. Just saying, the dude next to me got pissed.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, you know, if cops riding little standup trikes is your scene.
Continue Reading " T3 Mobile Defender Rocks A Powerful Air Gun "
Oct 24 2007 Ferrari Segway Is Wrong On So Many Levels
It all started when staff at Ferrari's Maranello plant fell in love with the Segway and started using them to get around the facility. Next thing you know, BAM!, Limited Edition Ferrari Segway PT-I2 ($10,000). Really makes you wonder about the caliber of individual that's assembling those expensive-ass sports cars doesn't it? I'm sure as hell not driving anything put together by someone who rides a f'ing Segway. Expensive or not. That just moved Ferrari's place in my mind from right under Lamborghini to between Daewoo and Kia. I'm sad to say my Ferrari induced boner days are over.
Ferrari Sells Its Soul to Segway [uberreview]
