Jun 6 2009 Ninja Boy Could Use A Few More Lessons
This is ninja boy (think Star Wars boy yet somehow remarkably sadder) filming himself out in the wilderness (read: the local park) pulling off some Rad to the power of Unhealthy ninja moves. It's seven minutes long and BY NO MEANS should you piss away an entire seven minutes of your life watching it all (I did). But he does spice up his maneuvers, so you will want to skip around. And, for as much fun as I want to make of the poor bastard, he could probably kick my ass if I didn't have laser blasters for eyes. But I do. Suck it, ninjard!
Ninja Nerd [liveleak]
Thanks to MoD, who could out-ninja like thirty ninja cats.
Apr 25 2009 Hidden Necktie Camera For Corporate Spying
The $66 Necktie Spycam can discreetly record up to 2GB of company secrets in stunning 352 x 288 resolution, and even comes with a wireless remote so you can start and stop the action from your pocket. Unfortunately, I can honestly say there's not a single thing I'd want to secretly record at work. But that's because I sit in a cubicle with The Superficial and IWatchStuff writers for ten hours a day. I mean, we don't even have a good looking secretary. Or an ugly secretary. We steal internet from the company upstairs and pee in the stairwell. We used to have an intern but he quit and filed a harassment lawsuit against The Superficial Writer. Which, I think we can all agree, should be illegal for unpaid employees. Also, he was a little bitch.
Hit the jump for several more spy shots.
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Mar 5 2009 Wait, Where'd He Go?: Urban Camoflauge
There's a robot war to be fought, and regular camo simply won't do. Enter Urban Camouflage, a new kind of outwear that keeps you safe and hidden from a robot's lifeless stare. Urban camouflage comes in three different styles: boxes, bags, and, um, file folders or something. Hit the jump to see them all. Then make your own and practice hiding. LOOK OUT -- ROBOT BEHIND YOU! Haha -- not really, but I wanted you to realize the importance of the situation. Now go change your pants and make some camo.
Hit it for the rest and a link to a much larger gallery.
Jan 9 2009 New Presidential Limo Ready For Action Jan 20
CLICK HERE FOR FULL SIZE IMAGE
Remember the new presidential limo that Cadillac designed to be PEW PEW proof? Well it's been approved for use starting January 20th and is jam-packed with all kinds of exciting features like extra presidential blood (I'm not kidding) and 8-inch thick (me too, ladies) doors that weigh as much as a 757's cabin door. I thought it was funny the driver side window is the only one that goes down and even it only 3-inches (me too, ladies) to "pay a toll or talk with secret service agents running alongside". Pay a toll? Get freaking real! I know the picture is small, so click here to see the full size image and read all those little words. Then, read my lips: No. new. tickets. Seriously, I'm already driving on a suspended license. Shhhhhh!
Inside the Rocket-Proof Obamamobile [gizmodo]
Thanks to Pat and Vossk, who allegedly both banged hookers in the back of this thing while it was being built.
Dec 26 2008 Cell Phone Goes PEW PEW PEW PEW
Remember the cell phone gun that Italian police found in a raid on the mafia? Turns out they're mad popular in Europe. And, I've got to tell ya, I'd almost be fooled if it looked like a Blackberry and not a phone from the 90's -- the 1890's (note to self: fact check 19th century cell phone technology). Some guy ranting about the pieces of shit:
Most see airport security as a pain. Some deal better than others. Some feel violated, when you watch this movie, you'll understand why they want your cell phone through the x-ray machine. If you get asked to test your cell phone at the airport, this is the reason. Because cell phone guns have arrived. These phones are not in the U.S. yet, but they are in use overseas. Beneath the digital phone face is a 22 caliber handgun capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession using the standard telephone keypad. European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery of these deadly decoys. They say phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe. Be patient if security asks to look at your cell phone or turn it on to show that it works. They have a good reason! Welcome to our NEW WORLD!!
New world? Would that be a brave new world? And, if so, hook me up with some of that soma! Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Now, who wants to hit up the feelies?
Video Demo of Cellphone Gun Shows How Effective It Could Be [gizmodo]
Dec 26 2008 Macs Vs. PCs: Transform And Battle It Out!
This is a video of Macs and PCs transforming into little robot people and battling to the death. Who wins? You'll have to watch to find out! Read: I stopped watching halfway through to go scavenge for food. Well sandwiches don't make themselves! *ahem* Ladies, that was a hint. Crunchy PB, boysenberry jelly -- cut into triangles.
Thanks to *nix and Bustani, who can both transform from video gamer to sex machine in the time it takes to push pause.
Aug 28 2008 Internet Explorer 8 To Feature 'Porn Mode'
Microsoft's Internet Explorer 8 (now out for beta testing) will feature a 'porn mode', aka InPrivate, similar to Safari's 'Private Browsing' feature.
The new InPrivate feature on Internet Explorer 8 -- now in Beta release, and dubbed by many in the Web development community as "porn mode," a nod to its most obvious use -- when enabled automatically conceals sites visited by wiping clean browsing and search history, cookies, form data and passwords. It also clears the browser cache at the end of each session.
Once the setting is chosen, others using the same computer will not be able to see which sites have been accessed, the company said. Other browsers have similar functions, but this one is far more prominent. Although casual users cannot see the previous user's search history, authorities such as the police will be able to access it if necessary.
Man, I don't know. My girlfriend is pretty damn computer savvy. If the cops can get at, she already has. Which means she's probably on to my secret ROTFLBDSM fetish and is itching to stomp my balls to mush in red stilettos.
Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 to Include So-Called 'Porn Mode' Privacy Feature [foxnews]
Thanks to Bryan, who's smart enough to know that watching porn together is an important part of any healthy relationship (excluding relatives and pets).
May 1 2008 Company Specializes In Secret Passages
Creative Home Engineering is a firm that specializes in build secret passageways into your house. Which is pretty much the awesomest thing I've ever heard (besides hearing that American Gladiators was coming back, but before I saw one and realized it was a disaster). They make everything from the stairs you see here, to bookshelf doors and rotating fireplaces. Prices range from $5,000 to $250,000 depending on how ridiculous you want to get. You know, growing up I lived in a house with a little secret passage. It was in the upstairs hallway. I was always afraid to see where it led but one day I went for it and climbed in. I fell two stories into a hamper by the washing machine. It was awesome.
Several more hidden passageway pictures, and a link to the company's gallery, after the jump.
Apr 25 2008 Gryphon Glider Is Wicked Freaking Sweet
We've seen several different gliding apparatus here on Geekologie, and we've even posted the Gryphon before. So why again? Because many of you probably haven't seen it. Plus it's been updated yo. Now the stealthy looking bastard is down to 30 pounds, can carry 100 extra in a built in compartment (pic after jump), and the best part -- can now be fully weaponized. Two words: missiles and lasers and bombs. Is this making you as hot as it is me?
The Gryphon attack glider, designed to penetrate combat zones at 135 miles per hour, could revolutionize the art of parachuting. Its helmet has a heads-up display and provides on-board oxygen for the jump. To land, a soldier separates the wing from his pack and releases his parachute to slow his descent. The wing remains attached to the soldier by a cord and lands before him.
The wing is currently steered manually via rotary controls connected to the rudder, but SPELCO, the company behind it, hopes to add an electronic system to make it much easier to steer. If successful, they'll be dropping a commercial version! Man oh man I can hardly wait. Sure it's no jetpack, but if my shorts are any indication, that hasn't stopped me from riding the 4-Inch Express to Bonertown. *toot toot* All aboard!
Several more pictures of the pack and a link to a video, after the jump.
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Oct 31 2007 Best Product Ever Ever Ever: The Wine Rack
The Wine Rack, made by thebeerbelly.com (who also produce a fake beer belly to sneak beer/liquor into places) is a sports bra looking alcohol container! That's right ladies (and sick men), now you can sneak booze into the movies for me. For only $30 you can buy my undying love and affection. I've always dreamed of suckling bourbon from a woman's teat, and now my dream is reality. This would be perfect for my girlfriend, because she's flatter than hell. Did I just say that? I was lying, she's concave. No boobies whatsoever. No word on when they'll be available, but suffice it to say this will be the hottest present of the year. And ladies: If you don't mind wearing the Wine Rack for me, I'm yours forever. I'll even cook and do the laundry. Just kidding, you know that's your job.
Product Site via [ohgizmo]
Sep 5 2007 Spy Sunglasses With Digital Recorder
Sure spy sunglasses have existed for awhile (I've been using mine for several years), but now they're available in styles beyond the traditional black "yes there is a camera in these glasses" frame. AND they're shipping with a personal video recorder so you can instantly watch the action or replace an SD card. They record in both NTSC and PAL and you're looking at about 510 x 492 effective pixels for NTSC. You can get them through Spycatcheronline for $1,400, which is too rich for my blood, but maybe someone out there can afford them. The only problem with these is, cool looking spy sunglasses or not, the women in the locker room are still going to scream and call security when they see you standing in the corner.
Spy Sunglasses With Digital Recorder [ohgizmo]
